Disclaimer: I am such an idiot sometimes. Harry Potter does not belong to me. Nor do I own any of the other characters of J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: This doesn't have a title right now but hopefully one will come up as I go along, but only if you all like this.


By Dark Moon

Tired of watching over a freak in your own home?

Does the sight of him make you sick?

Do you hate having to even think about him when he's home during the summer?

Well send him to us and you'll never have to see him until the start of school.

Andrew's House of Unwanted Children will take care of them all summer long and you don't have to pay a thing. We only have one rule, no animals.

If you would like to send them to us or have any questions call: 555-BRAT

Vernon Dursley read this article again to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Petunia, dear. Come here and read this." Vernon called.

Petunia wiped her hands on a dishtowel and walked over to her husband. Vernon handed her the newspaper and watched as her eyes lit up with each line she read.

"Are you going to call?" she asked him a hint of hope in her voice.

"Of course. As soon as we can arrange it the boy is out of here." Vernon got up and strode over to the phone.

"Hello, Andrew's House of Unwanted Children can I help you?" asked a pleasant voice.

"This is Vernon Dursley. I have a nephew I don't want. How soon can I drop him off?" Vernon told the voice.

"Your are in luck sir. We just had a cancellation and the room is being cleaned right now. But we have a few questions."

"Go ahead." Vernon said.

"Does the boy have any animals?"

"An owl, but it can be taken care of."

"Good. Will he need transportation to his school or are you going to take him yourself?"

"I'll take him." Vernon said, not wanting these people to know how much of a freak his nephew was.

"Okay. Does he have any friends that need to be notified of his leaving?"

"Yeah, but they can be told he's on vacation and can't be reached. Is that all?"

"One more thing. Are you against punishment if the boy is misbehaving?" this time the voice took on an ominous tone but Vernon didn't notice as he smiled and replied.

"Nope. Freak needs to be beaten often most of the time."

"All right then. You can bring him in anytime today." the voice then went on to instruct how to get to the house and with a thank you Vernon hung up.

"He's in Petunia. No more of that unnatural stuff in our house this summer." Vernon was so happy he grabbed his wife around the waist and danced with her across the kitchen floor.

"What's going on?" Dudley asked, seeing the delighted smiles on his parents' faces.

"We're getting rid of Harry for the summer. I better tell him to get rid of the owl and tell his friends he can't talk to them anymore."

Vernon hummed as he walked up the stairs. Lying on the table forgotten, the article for Andrew's House of Unwanted Children vanished.