Journal entry 256

It's been three years since I entered this felicity and nothing has changed. I put myself in this institution in hopes that I would get better. That I might feel happy again.

I haven't felt happy in years.

I can barely get up in the morning; barely work myself to go talk to my therapist. Nothing that I did seemed to uplift whatever slump I was in. My therapist tried and failed, and it's not like he didn't try. I myself couldn't understand why I felt this way. I didn't feel the need to talk to people, or even do anything at all actually. I found that doing the things I loved was tedious, and I couldn't explain why. Each time I would always be too tired.

That's why I have come to a conclusion that today I'll jump the golden gate bridge, but if I find that if anybody, just one person smiles at me. Then I won't do it. One person will smile right? The three miles that I have to walk to the bridge, at least one person will smile, and with that one smile I'll know that life is worth it.

One smile that's all I ask.

Stupid health class making me depressed! Ok so this story is really based on a true story, even though I put it in the point of view of Ash. I know it's short, but I don't think I could have done more for this story. This story is based upon a man who was suicidal, and eventually he killed himself, but he was in therapy. His therapist checked his journal and on the last entry it said that he would end it, unless someone smiled at him.

No one did.

I'm not going to preach on how suicide is bad since I don't like it when people preach to me, or how you should go save the world. I just want to say 'Just smile.'