Hello, mon choux! I wrote this all the way back in 2007. It's ridiculously silly. Enjoy.

One day, Nymphadora Ton-

"DON'T CALL ME NYMPHADORA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

(Tonks has killed the narrator, so to find a replacement, we just used the Resurrection Stone, so no problem!)

OK, Tonks was walking down the street when she saw Snape.

"Hello, Nymphadora. Fifty points from Hufflepuff." sneered the greasy professor.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, you dipshit. AVADA KEDAVRA!" fumed Tonks, and with a swipe of her wand, the Prince crumpled, dead.

"Serves the asshole right."

Tonks continued along, until she was stopped by Dumbledore, who was reading a script for a movie by Neil Cicierega.

"What does he mean by *is naked*? Oh! Hello, Nymphadora. I just got a script for a movie, it's called the Mysterious Ticking Noise, and-"

"I just told Snape to NOT CALL ME NYMPHADORA! Now you've done it too? That's outrageous! AVADA KEDAVRA, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

The bearded one fell and promptly died. Tonks kept on walking, and soon she found her fiancee, Remus Lupin.

"OK, listen up, Wolfgang, don't call me Nymphadora, or I'll fuck you so hard, you'll be in Hell before you recover!"

"OK, OK, I won't call you Nymphadora if you stop calling me Wolfgang!" "OK, Wolfgang."

"GAAAAAHHH! I TOLD YOU, NYMPHADORA, NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" "AHA! YOU JUST CALLED ME NYMPHADORA, FUCKER! AVADA KEDAVRA!" and Moony withered and fell.

Now, Nymphadora, get a hold of yourself. Nobody's gonna call you that name ever agai- WAIT. I just called myself Nymphadora! GAH! AVADA KEDAVRA!

(Tonks just died. Ah, well. The moral of the story today was: Don't call her Nymphadora.)

The end.