I'm walking along in a solid white void, looking for an interesting plot development-HELLO MY DEAR, I AM A GIANT LEMON. Oh my God. YES, I AM THE LEMON, AND THE LEMON IS ME. HE BE ME, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO ARE YEE? Oh I'm just a background character on my way to make another cameo appearance. Will you let me through? NO, FOR I AM AN ASSHOLE. Oh I see, that's very understandable. I respect that you-shove! OH NO! I SEEM TO BE FALLING TOWARD A GIANT FRUIT JUICER! SURELY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING, SO I DIDN'T!

"…and that's how we all can restore the ozone layer!" exclaimed America cheerfully. "Any questions?"

Italy raised his hand. "Ve~ What's a Manbearpig?"

America sighed. "We went over this! A Manbearpig is a creature that's half man, half bear, and half pig!"

China raised his hand. "How can there be three halves of anything, aru?"

"Unimportant! I can't do math!" America answered, without any break in confidence. "Any other questions?"

Portugal, who was sitting in the back with his former colony and 'son', Brazil, asleep against his shoulder, raised his hand. "Do we swim to Hawaii before or after we grow an army of giant mutant corn monsters?"

America sighed. "After! Duh!"

"And when does killing Estonia and bathing in his blood come in?"

"…We're not killing Estonia, Russia."


"Anything else?"

"Um…I have a question…"Canada said quietly.

America looked around. "No? Then I guess we can move on."

Alas, Canada was again unnoticed.

England sighed. "Are you retarded?"

"No, why?" asked America.

"Because, you twit! That's a stupid plan!"

"Stupid?" the younger nation asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or is it so stupid that it's the most stupidly genius plan you've ever heard?"

England shook his head. "No, just stupid."

"Right!" said America. "It's GENIUS!"

"That's not what I said!"

"I. Have. SPOKEN!" America then slammed his hand against the wall behind him to add to his point… and ended up causing the bulletin board, along with everything on it, to crash to the ground.

"HOH, SH…!"

Everyone at the meeting stopped whatever they were doing to turn their heads and stare at America.

Prussia busted out laughing. "Ha, fail!"

France joined him, and so did Spain (who unlike them wasn't deliberately TRYING to be mean; he just didn't know what they were laughing at and didn't want to be left out).

Italy quietly giggled, while Germany, in the seat next to him, rubbed his temples. Latvia jumped about ten feet in the air and squeaked when it fell, causing Poland to spill his nail polish all over Lithuania. Japan sat there with a shocked expression on his face, and Greece was still taking a nap, unaffected. However, the impact WAS enough to wake Brazil, who immediately sat up and asked what was going on, while Portugal gave America dirty looks for ruining the moment and not letting him feel like Brazil's 'daddy' again.

England sighed, rolling his eyes at his former charge. "My God, you're a bloody imbecile."

America's face turned bright red. "Right, so uh… Dismissed!"

Everyone went their separate ways, but some sooner than others (namely, Prussia, who left last just so that he could have a few more minutes to milk the moment). Eventually, America and England were left alone in the room. SOMEONE had to pick it all up, so America, sighing, dropped to his knees and started doing just that.

England knelt down as well. "Here, let me help."

"No, that's okay," said America quietly. "I got it."

"I don't care," said England. "You could use some help."

"No, it's fine. Really-"

"Stop that! I-"

"Really, you don't have to-"


"Hey!" The arguing stopped. "I've got this," said America, looking right into the elder's eyes.

England sighed, looking away. "Honestly, you're so stubborn! Why won't you just let me help you?"

The taller nation smiled a bit. "Heroes don't need help."


He was an idiot for not noticing. How long had it gone on before he'd found out? Some big brother he turned out to be.

It started out inconspicuously enough. Showing up at conferences and G-8 meetings looking absolutely exhausted. Loss of that once ever-present youthful vigor. Slowly eating less and less at summits, until eventually he started showing up with no food at all.

England found himself yelling at him for being lazy, but one day he noticed.

There really was something wrong with America.

"No… I really don't know what's wrong with him. I've tried asking, but he won't tell me."

England sighed. "Thanks anyway, Canada." He hung up.

It was almost infuriating. That little brat had to have been doing it on purpose, just to drive England mad.

One day, America passed out at a world conference.

Lithuania yelped. "AMERICA-SAN!"

A lot of the bolder and more excitable nations formed a small crowd, until Germany finally barked at them to give the younger blond some breathing room. Japan knelt down beside his friend, putting to use his first aid skills and quietly giving the others some instruction while Germany, Austria, and China kept everyone calm. Canada was helping Japan, invisible though he was. Surprisingly, though, none of this was enough to wake Greece.

England came back from the bathroom in the middle of it all. He couldn't understand why everyone was making such a big racket, and was just about to yell at them all to sit back down until France approached him urgently.

"Angleterre… You really should come with me."

Upon seeing his former colony on the floor, England almost screamed. "America…" He fell to his knees beside Japan, placing a hand on America's forehead. "What's wrong with him?"

"He just collapsed," Japan replied calmly. "We don't really know what happened."

At that moment, America started to stir. He groaned slightly, blinking his eyes open. "What happened?"

"Are you alright?" Canada asked. "You were unconscious!"

"Yeah, I'm fine," said America, sitting up.

"I'm taking you home," said England softly. "Can you stand up?"

"Yeah." He stood up, wobbling slightly, and brushed himself off some. "Okay, so… The conference is over, I guess. Like Spain would say, hasta la vista."

"Yay, I'm mentioned!"


England put the cup down on a saucer. "Sorry. If I had known you were coming… I probably still wouldn't have bought any coffee. But you get the sentiment."

"In a twisted way, yeah."

England frowned in worry. "What happened back there?"

"No clue." America shrugged. "But I'm fine now, so it's probably nothing."

"Nothing?" asked England. "I hardly see fainting during a world meeting as being nothing."

"I'm okay, though…"

England raised an eyebrow, glaring at him in suspicion. "Mm-hm…"

"No, really! I'm serious!" America argued. "I mean it! There's…" He cut himself off suddenly. "Ow…"

England was concerned. "What's wrong?"

America shook his head, grinning as much as he could manage. "N… Nothing." He stood up. "Bathroom."

He had no idea that England was watching when he broke into a desperate run.

England waited for a few minutes before following. "America, what-" He gasped.

America had fallen to his knees in the middle of the floor, and was currently vomiting blood all over himself.

England stared in shock. "A… Alfred…"

America smirked slightly, and in between gasps, whispered, "Couldn't make it… Damn… Why are your hallways so long?"

England rushed to his side and placed a hand on his heaving back. "Lie down. I'll go call an ambulance."

America shook his head. "Don't do that."

"What? And why the bloody hell not?"

America smirked. "Heroes… don't need help."

England frowned. "What kind of rubbish is that? 'Heroes don't need help'!" He sighed. "I'm getting you a doctor."

America stopped him. "No!"

"Are you suicidal? If I don't-"

"Please…" he begged. "We can't let anybody know… I'm a world power… and… If the other nations found out what was happening to me…"

England understood perfectly. And there was absolutely no way he was telling now.

But that still didn't change the fact that he still wanted America, his sweet brother, the most important person in the world to him, to live.

England sighed, defeated. "At least go and rest for a bit."

"That actually sounds pretty good right now…"


"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm gonna throw up again…"

England tensed up. "Do you need anything?"

America sighed. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"
"Fussing over me! It's freaking annoying, so cut it out."

England frowned. "You bloody well deserve it! Why won't you let me take care of you?"

"'Cause!" America answered in frustration. "I'm not your problem any more! I'm not a kid!"

"Since when has teenager not been the same as kid?"

"That's not the point!" America sighed. "We both disowned each other a long time ago, anyway, so why do you even care?"

"Why do I…?"

England was shocked. Hurt, even. Of course he cared! And even though they fought constantly, it was still news to him that America thought he'd disowned him.

Is that… really how you think I feel?

They sat in silence for awhile. Then England finally responded.

"Why do I care?" he asked. "Why? Not because I feel sorry for you. Not because of how it might affect me. Hell, I've never even thought of you as a nation!" After a dirty look from America, he quickly added, "I've only thought of you as my brother. I never disowned you. I don't hate you-I could never hate you! When I look into your eyes, I don't see a world power. I don't see a former rival. I don't see a valuable ally. I only see the child I raised as my own, the one I stayed up with during thunder storms, or cared for when he was ill, just as I'm doing now.

"I see my little brother. That's why…" his voice broke, fighting to hold back the tears already threatening to fall. "That's why I'm so bloody terrified right now. America—Alfred…" The fight was futile, and the tears poured steadily from the Brit's eyes like rain. "I love you."

America gave a sad smile. "Don't worry about me… I'm fine, really! S-so… You don't have to cry."

England sighed, grinning slightly. "You idiot!" He flung his arms around America, his former colony, his brother, his son.

"… Love you too."


"How often does this happen?"

"What? Me lying in bed with another guy? Not often, but I sure would love to know what you're implying…"

England frowned. "Sod off! I meant, how often do these attacks come?"

"Oh, these things?" asked America. "Uh… Not that often…"

"About… Maybe… Once or twice a day… ish."

England gasped. "Once or twice a day?"

"I said 'ish'!"

England sighed, calming himself some. He placed a worried hand on his brother's shoulder. "Does it hurt?"

"I dunno. I just pretty much puke my insides out, that's all. What do you think that feels like?"

"I meant all the time, you git!" England sighed. "Does it hurt right now?"

"Yeah, a little…" America answered. "But… not all that much."

The Brit sighed. "Good."

America sat up. "Well, not that this isn't fun… But I gotta go home."

"What?" exclaimed England, springing up as well. "You can't do that! You're still-"

"I'll be fine. I promise." The younger nation put on his glasses and started to leave. "And anyway, it's like… what, a six hour flight? I'll probably be better off if you let me go now."

England's eyebrows kneaded in concern. "You could stay with me for awhile," he offered gently.

America shook his head. "Nah, it's cool. I'm all grown up now, so I think I can deal with it myself."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, if anybody can, I can, I guess," he answered, shrugging. "I am pretty epic. Not to brag or anything."

England chuckled slightly. "Right…"

As his brother walked out the door, England sighed.

Heroes do need help occasionally, you idiot…

There! HA! How'd ya like it? I know you all did, cuz it was written by the awesome Me, PRUSSIA!

I tried to get all metaphor-y with the whole thing… IDK.

But uh, yeah. A friend recently dragged me back into Hetalia and now I'm stuck. Bl

Yeah, thank CielTea, aka, America, who has now informed me that Japan is her wife. To that, I say… WTF? How does that even…? O.o

And to her, and all of you, I would henceforth like to inform you that Canada is MY wife! BA HA HA HA~! *runs into the street and gets run over*

*stands back up* I'm okay! Because I am THAT AWESOME!