****************** This is the new one **********************

Ch. 1

(Basic Trailways)

Bella's POV

"NO!" Jasper roared from the top floor of the house.

I giggled leaning into Edward and looking at Emmett from across the living room. Emmett just grinned back and mouthed "the stairs". I looked toward the stairs and sure enough Jasper was stomping his way down in his boots.

Things had been getting kind of strange around this house for a while. After Alice left to "find herself". Jasper had been dressing himself and I have to say I liked it. His wardrobe consisted of less V-Neck sweaters and slacks and more jeans, button up shirts, and boots. It was a pleasant surprise to see that he hadn't sunken in on himself like some weaklings I know…myself.

"What's wrong Jazzy?" Emmett asked Jasper with a taunting smile.

"Where is it, Emmy?" Jasper snarled back.

Edward's lips turned up a little on the corners and he looked down at me while taking my hand in his. I leaned against him to my right.

"Whatever do you mean, brother?" Emmett was honestly instigating him now.

"My cell phone, ya' dunce!"

Emmett let out a screech and started rubbing his nipples. Jasper turned to us and asked Edward if he knew where it was. Edward told Jasper he had no idea. When Jasper left back upstairs Edward told Emmett to stop rubbing his "Nips" because it was inappropriate in front of me. I just smiled and leaned to my left.

"Beeeeeep! Please call back or dial again."

Edward looked at me with startled eyes. "No you didn't."

"Didn't what?" I asked him innocently. He just let it be but Emmett's eyes lit up.

"Bella, we need to talk later. In fact, I think I'll take you home right now and Edward can stop by after we're finished talking if that's alright with you?"

"That's fine, Emmett. I've been meaning to talk to you too." I smiled at my almost-older-brother.

"Great. Let's go." Emmett grabbed my hand with his enormous one and half dragged me out to his jeep. When we were almost to the main road again he looked at me.

"So, you're pranking Jasper, are you?" he asked.

"Um, yeah but don't tell him. That'll ruin the whole fun of it." I told him.

"No, no. I wouldn't do that. Hell, this could be just what he needs after all. I mean, what with Alice going to find her true spirit or whatever shit she said. The Jazz Man could use a picker upper." His booming laugh filled the jeep and bounced off the windows and seemingly went straight to my ears.

"Exactly. I'm just trying to cheer a guy up, right? No biggie."

"Excellent. So can I help you with the jokes to play on Jasper? I've known him longer and I know what makes him tick and what to just plain stay away from."

"Well, that could be beneficial and I wouldn't want to push him too far. I just want to mess with him a little. Edward would never help and it'd be nice to have an inside man so…yeah. Emmett you're in." I thought aloud.

"Should we have a team name or something? If we need a name I say we use the name "Basic Trailways". What?

"Basic Trailways? Emmett where the hell did you come up with that? It sucks. What, do we run a bus company?"

"You got something better, Bella?" Emmett challenged.

"Yes. How about "Innuendos" since we use them so much and when we think of a good idea to brainstorm on we can say that it's a band that we love. We can say "Hey, Innuendos has a new song. You want to hear it?" Then nobody would know we're plotting against Jasper and we can get away to plot against Jasper." He admitted it was a good plan.

"Fine, but I get to pick out our secret operative names. Okay?"


"Great, so I'll be 'Calm Lemon' and you can be 'Twisted Ankle'."


"Okay, fine. You can be 'B Swizzle'. That's a combination of Bella and Swan."

"Clever. We wont actually need these names will we?"

"Only if we have walkie talkies." By the smile on his face I could tell he intended to in fact get us walkie talkies.

"Okay Bella, remember to play it cool with Edward and I'll keep him out of my head until this is all over." He said as we pulled up to my house.

"By Emmett!" I called to him as I got out. When he drove away waving I walked into my house think about how grateful I was that he was the only one in the family who didn't drive like a maniac when I was in the car. I walked upstairs to my room and put Jasper's cell phone in my underwear drawer knowing nobody besides myself would ever be going in there so I didn't even bother to hide it just putting it on top of my socks next to my panties and bras.

The next day I called Emmett from my house phone and told him I'd thought of another good one. Within a few minutes Edward was at my door saying that Emmett let him know I wanted to spend the day with him again at his house. So far the plan was going as well…planned.

We arrived at the house and Edward turned to me and said "So Love, what would you like to do today?"

"Um, well I wanted to play a game with you, Jasper and Emmett." He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Jasper is out this morning but perhaps Emmett might want to play." He offered up. I smiled.

"Hell yeah I want to play!" Emmett barreled down the stairs yelling.

"Oh, Emmett! Would you?"

"Of course. What are we playing Bella?"

I looked at Edward and said "Hide and Seek".

Edward smiled at me and said "Reliving childhood games, Bella?" Well crap. He thought I was reminiscing. This is part of the plan. Emmett said if Edward questions to make him feel sorry for me so I said, "I didn't have any friends to play hide and seek with when I was a kid". Then as Emmett planned I gave him "The Eyes".

"Absolutely Love. We'll play! Right Emmett?" He gave Emmett a pointed look and Emmett immediately agreed.

After playing the game of Hide and Seek, I was proud that Emmett and I had tricked Edward and everything! Edward dropped me off at home but couldn't spend the night because he needed to hunt and Jasper's boots were in the back of my closet. Emmett made Edward hide with him in every room of the house before I could find them and even Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie's scents were all over. Any evidence as to who took the boots was perfectly destroyed and now all we had to do was wait.

After a perfect night of sleep, I went over to Edward's home again and sat down on the couch with Esme watching the food network on TV.

"GODDAMN!" Jasper yelled from the top floor.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale! You watch the mouth of yours, young man!"

"Sorry Esme." Jasper said.

I smiled and returned my attention to the TV again.

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