Author's Notes:

This Chapter is NOT beta'd. Becka if you're out there...somewhere...EMAIL me !

Ahem, sorry my Beta seems to be MIA. Anyways, hope everyone enjoys!

I do not own.

"You're style is kind of selective

Though your mind is rather reckless

Well I guess it just suggests

That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is."

A Beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz

Chapter 8: Submerged in Your Contradictions


I wake up to an empty bed. I didn't expect her to stay, but a part of me feels disappointed because I was hoping she would. I stretch and breathe in and out. I smell…weed?

"You sleep too damn much."

My eyes snap to brown ones, and I smile. She's here.

She also happens to be smoking. In my room.

"I won't bitch today, but the smoking can happen anywhere but my room."

She smirks at me as she takes another hit off the blunt in her hand. "I thought there was no smoking at all. At least, that's what you told Emmett."

Fuck. I can't exactly say to her, 'Well Bella, that's because you're special. I'm trying not to piss you off as much as possible so you can stick around.'

No, that's going to make her run away.

"I'm trying to be more…fun." I shrug my shoulders. As long as nobody acts stupid or breaks anything, I could probably tolerate it.


After adjusting myself in my pants I stand up and go into the bathroom. I wash my face and run some water down my head. I turn around and Bella's leaning on the door frame, offering the blunt to me. She quirks an eyebrow and I sigh. I feel like she's testing me, so I grab it and put it to my mouth. Inhaling the smoke, there's a slight sting in my throat. Her face humors me. She has her mouth open and she seems to be frozen. I laugh, causing me to cough out all of the smoke. She rubs my back and I'm shocked she's even touching me.

"There may be hope for you yet." She grabs the blunt out of my hands and takes another pull. I follow her out the bathroom and go into the kitchen. Emmett is there, eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

"Finally! Your lazy ass is up. What are the plans for tonight?"

Bella goes up to Emmett and passes him the blunt. He takes one pull before looking at me and offering it. Since when did I join the circle? I have no clue. I take it and smoke regardless.


I try not to notice Bella staring at me, but the urge to look back is tempting.

"Well we're all going to Morrison Park tonight. You're coming, right?"

"Don't you have a younger sister at home to look after?" I pass it.

"She can look after her own damn self Cullen. Don't start your fucking shit."

I back off. I don't need her giving me attitude so soon. "I don't know what's the point in going to the park but I'll go," I mutter. Bella smiles. I'm going to have to do a lot of ass kissing to get on her good side again. Am I ashamed of that fact? Although I should be, I find myself not caring what I have to do to get Bella back.

"Good. Now, I wanted to inform you before you find out on your own that I invited a friend or two over for-"


"Shit." A mutter. Whose? I don't know.

"Who the fuck is in my house Emmett. I told you I didn't want you hanging out here."

"Its just Jasper and Rose. They're practically family!"

I'm about to throw Emmett out on the streets when Bella interrupts.


My eyes snap to hers the instant I hear her say my name. She walks towards me, the blunt still in her hand. She takes a long pull and smirks. I don't need to be told to open my mouth as her lips come close to my mine. She exhales as I inhale. The smoke burns my throat, but not as badly as before. I blow her smoke out and I shake my head.

That was by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

My eyes snap to hers and she simply says, "Chill out."

"Do that again and you have yourself a deal," I say bravely. I'm pushing her buttons, but its Bella. She must remember how I am.

"Deal." I'm the one smirking now as I grab the blunt and mimic her, taking a long pull and keeping the smoke in my mouth. I lean towards her as she opens her mouth to take my smoke. I bring my lips closer to hers, practically touching them and its driving me crazy. I blow my smoke in her mouth, and I feel when she inhales.

She's staring straight at me, and I'm frozen in my spot as she exhales the smoke back towards my face.

"That was hot B. Do that to me next!"

Fucking Emmett. Of course he decides to ruin what could have been the best experience of my damn life.

"Get a life Emmett. Edward wouldn't have been upset in the first place if you had just told him they were coming over yesterday." Bella grabs the blunt and perches herself up on the island.

"Yeah well…fuck man I'm sorry alright? Next time, I'll let you know beforehand."

I shake my head, "there won't be a next time Emmett."

He ignores me and goes into the living room. "I want whatever that was broken to be replaced!" I yell after him. I look back at Bella and watch as she puts out whatever is left of the joint on my island.

"That's expensive, you know." I cock my eyebrow at her, hoping she'd get the point. She continues twisting the joint into it until she feels its out.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're too uptight? You need to seriously chill out, or someone might mistake you for some grumpy old man that lived with twenty-seven cats."

I laugh, but take her words seriously. In college, I was known as the 'party pooper' of the group. I guess now is a better time to change then ever.

"So weed is alright?" I change the subject. She looks at me like she has no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I clarify, "At the spot? When Rose asked if I wanted a bump and you just about chopped my head off? If that wasn't alright, than why is weed an exception?"

She rolls her eyes, "You know damn well why. Don't act fucking stupid."

"Because it's a stronger high and more addictive?"

She gives me a 'no-duh' look and waits for me to continue with my point.

"Bella, every drug is addictive and gives you a high."

"What the fuck Edward? What do you want me to say?" Her hands are flailing in the air as she speaks. I decide not to make a big deal about it.

"Nothing. Just forget it." I never wanted this to turn into an argument. "It's best if we drop it."

I have to start realizing that nothing I say or do will stop her. If she doesn't care about what happens to her, then why should I?


Late that night we arrive at the park. The rest of the morning and afternoon involved of smoking some more and playing Mario Kart. That thing is addicting.

The game. Not the marijuana.

Anyways, we get to the park and I notice everyone straying away from Bella and me. I'm not going to complain about it, the more missed time I make up for the better. Emmett grabs Rosalie's arm and drags her to the monkey bars. Rosalie's trying to put up a fight, but the smile on her face says that she'll go anywhere with him. Jasper is sitting on the end of a slide, smoking a cigarette. I look towards Bella the same moment she looks towards me.

"Swings?" I offer. Her eyebrow goes up and she turns towards the swings wordlessly. She sits on a swing as I grab the chains on each side of her. I pull her back towards me, whispering in her ear. "Have you forgiven me?"

"Hardly," she mutters.

I release the swing and she goes forward. On her way back, I catch the chains and hold her still. "That's not a 'no' at least. I can deal with that."

"You're okay with this? With me?" She's looking at me. I scoff and let the swing ago again. She swings for awhile and I am silent. A moment later, I grab onto the chains one last time and stopped the swing completely. I move around to face her, keeping my hands on the chains beside her. I lean down so my face is leveled to hers.

"I'm letting you live your own life Bella. I offered my help, and you don't want it. If or when you fall that will be on you. Not me." I let go of the chains and sit in the swing next to hers. "But what I can do is be here to help you get back up."

"You know you've changed a lot since high school," she says randomly. I chuckle because I really haven't.

"You think?"

She nods and gets up from her swing. "You're…better." She looks at me seriously, and I just don't know how to respond to that.

I shrug.

"I'll kill you, you know."


I don't get a chance to ask her what she means. She just walks away.

Review and I'll send Edward to inhale your smoke, and you can inhale his in return ;)