Snow white Sorrow

Failure

The mission had been a failure the number of Akuma had overwhelmed the two exorcists one now lay dead and the other broken and slowly healing. Kanda did not care that Allen had died by the Millennium Earl's hand, he was glad in fact and glad he was still alive. Kanda was happy he still had lives left, happy that he would be able to see Lavi again; Lavi, his usagi, his everything.

Kanda attempted to get up only to fall back into the snow with a grunt. His limbs should have fixed themselves by now so why could Kanda not get up. Kanda turned his head to look at his left arm and gasped the bones had healed but in the wrong way the elbow was bent in the wrong way rendering the limb useless; the right was the same. Kanda heaved himself up enough to look at his legs and wished he hadn't; the knees bent backwards and the feet faced the wrong way; Kanda could not feel his toes or his fingers. Kanda fell back into the snow sending up a puff of white feathery flakes. With his limbs healed the wrong way and no way to fix them Kanda could not return. Even with many lives Kanda knew that if a wild animal ate his important organs he wouldn't live, what animal would deny fresh meat in the dead of winter. If the animals didn't finish Kanda off the elements would he would freeze until all his lives would run out.

For the second time in his life Kanda cried; he cried knowing he would die here in this frozen wasteland never to see Lavi again. He cried knowing that his permanent death would hurt Lavi badly forever scarring him. Kanda continued to cry long after the snow falling from the sky covered Allen's frozen lifeless body. He cried until there were no more tears and just lay there in a misshapen form shivering. He lost track of days that passed and he only could measure how many lives he lost by the painful shudders of feeling his heart stop then restart again. He only had ten more lives to go and 10 more short life times to remember all the good times he spent with Lavi.

If Kanda had not been immobilized by his limbs he would have sat up quickly when he remembered he still had his golem. Shrugging his left shoulder till it fell out of his coat, Kanda was determined to see Lavi again. The little golem fell into the snow without a sound it's tiny wings were frozen and unmovable its entire body was covered by a thing sheet of ice.

"Contact Black Order," Kanda croaked his throat to dry to sound normal. The golem beeped and immediately a returning voice could be heard.

"Kanda! Finally!" Koumi shouted and Kanda flinched. "We've been calling Allen so many times but he won't pick up! What happened?" By now Kanda could barely whisper a sentence let alone an entire explanation so he merely uttered one word.

"Help," he whispered into the golem and then it went dead its wires frozen to the core. Kanda lay there hoping praying that Koumi would be smart to realize he needed help and fast. The lack of food and water and the exhaustion of that simple task had left Kanda in no state to keep his eyes open; it wasn't long until they slid shut.

Lavi had insisted he go to Kanda and Allen. The one call they received had left them more concerned than before and Kanda's weak plea for help had proven their fears. Getting to Siberia had been no problem but searching the entire forest where Kanda and Allen had been last seen was difficult. 2 finders and 3 doctors had come with Lavi to help him and hopefully save lives. Lavi knew that Kanda had his lotus but if something happened to him that his lotus could not fix than Lavi was worried. He could not would not let Yu die he needed Yu more than anything else and if he died than Lavi promised himself he would follow shortly after not wanting to be separate from his samurai.

Lavi pushed through the dense snow covered trees into a small clearing that looked just like the other ones. Except for the half covered body of a fallen exorcist with bluish black hair and improperly healed limbs.

"YU!" Lavi shouted running over to the exorcist he loved so much. Thought's of finding merely a dead body swirled in Lavi's head tormenting him and dampening his hope. He fell onto his knees next to his friend and brushed the newly fallen snow off his lover. Picking him up he saw that Kanda's eyes seemed to be frozen shut and a thin layer of ice covered his face.

Lavi shook his friend over and over again shouting, "YU! YU! YU!" By now the finders and doctors from the Black Order had reached the clearing and were watching in despair. Just then Kanda's body shuddered and his eye lids cracked opened shattering the ice that had sealed them shut. He gasped and tried to focus on the red splotch in his vision trying to figure out if this was a mirage or real. Kanda's eyes finally focused and he saw before him the one and only person in the world who had thawed his icy heart. Lavi was crying and a relieved smile was on his lips that were slowly turning blue from the cold. Kanda smiled back as best he could and Lavi pulled him into a loving hug, the others could be heard in the background sighing.

"Yu I was so afraid I had lost you," Lavi mumbled into Kanda's frozen hair.

"Silly usagi I promised myself I would live long enough to see you again," Kanda replied.

A finder came up to them a little hesitantly, "Kanda where is Allen?" he asked and Kanda looked at him.

"Allen is dead," Kanda said monotone. "The Millennium Earl killed him himself, Allen's buried over there in the snow." Kanda then gestured with his head to the lump in the snow a few feet away. The finder left and Kanda concentrated more on enjoying the fact that his usagi was here with him right now. Smiling to himself, Kanda lost consciousness resting his head on Lavi's warm chest.

Lavi realized that Kanda had gone slack in his arms and he pulled Kanda away from himself quickly afraid Kanda had died. Quite the opposite though Kanda had fallen asleep on Lavi's chest comfortable and warm, this made Lavi smile. He shifted his arms and lifted Kanda out of the snow into his arms cradling his samurai to his chest. A doctor came up to him quickly and began examining Kanda's limbs and heart and lungs.

"His bones healed but in the wrong positions so we will have to break them again and reset them. His heart and lungs seem perfectly fine," the doctor told Lavi, Lavi nodded and the doctor repeated this to the other doctors.

"We must get him back into town so we can treat him fully," the doctor said turning back to Lavi. "Hopefully his limbs will heal in the right positions and he will have full use of them, until then we cannot leave for Black Order. Movement of the injured could cause further injury." At that moment two of the finders walked past them holding the frozen body of Allen. A single gash starting from his left shoulder and ending at his right hip that went all the way through had cause his death. The blood from the wound had frozen to Allen and his face was forever stuck into a mask of fear and shock; a thick coat of ice covered his entire body and his limbs stuck out away from his body, his left arm was gone. Lenalee would not be able to stand this, she would probably cry till she could cry no more than join her Moyashi. Lavi didn't care at that moment now he was just happy he still had his samurai.

The odd band of exorcists, finders, doctors, and partially frozen to fully frozen people left the clearing making haste to the town. Upon reaching the town they were met with cries of relief, fuzzy blankets draped over shoulders and hot chocolate shoved into freezing hands. The news of Allen's death saddened the towns' people but they rejoiced when they heard of one of the exorcists surviving. Kanda was taken from Lavi and before Lavi could say anything shoved back into his arms wrapped in three blankets. Lavi already had at least five on himself but he was glad that the towns' people wanted Kanda to live.

Lavi buried his face into Kanda's blanketed chest and assured himself over and over that yes Yu would live and he could keep his samurai.

Ok this is my first ever yaoi fanfiction so don't judge me to harshly, yes I know this chapter is short but I assure you if enough people like it I will continue it.

Until then enjoy the undying love between the samurai and the usagi. ^_^