First Crush

A Batman One-shot by Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: No I don't own Batman, and no I'm not writing this for money. But of course, in the very unlikely event that someone from DC spots this and offers me a job, I'm certainly not going to say no.

"Do you stuff your uniform?" Damian sniped. "Fatgirl?"

Tim scowled deeply. Damian was grating, especially when he was insulting Stephanie. Sure, they weren't together but it was... It was the principle of the thing! Their bickering was getting on his nerves too, but he waited for Stephanie's inevitable return salvo.

But it never came. Stephanie just smiled. Rising from her chair, she walked across the Batcave floor to Damian. She reached up, and slowly, teasingly lowered the zipper on the front of her uniform, revealing the swell of her breasts. The scorn vanished from Damian's face and he stared, cheeks turning bright red.

"Do these look stuffed to you, brat?" She asked in a breathy, sexy voice, pushing her boobs up with her arms. Damian, normally unruffled by genocidal clowns or large numbers of heavily armed thugs, actually stuttered at this sight.


Stephanie chuckled, and bent over to kiss his forehead. "So you are just a kid after all," she said with a smirk. She turned and headed for the costume vault. Damian stared after her, bewildered and blushing bright red.

Dick and Barbara managed to restrain their laughter. For about five seconds. Tim laughed too, but mainly to cover up that niggling bit of jealousy. It was ridiculous, really.

What chance did Damian have with Stephanie? And they weren't even dating. It was silly. He had Tamara, and bigger things to worry about. He wasn't a teenager anymore, he was an adult. He could deal with this.

... He was still blushing and staring after her. What was his deal?


Talia looked up and smiled at the screen from her compound in Uzbekistan. "Damian. It's nice of you to call me. How are you?"

"Protecting the city goes well," Damian said with his usual confidence. "Grayson is a better teacher than I gave him credit for. Drake is pathetic and should be cast aside like a used dishrag. Pennyworth is... Admirable," Damian managed. "And Stephanie-"

"Stephanie?" Talia asked, arching an elegant eyebrow. Damian flustered.

"I meant to say, 'Brown.' Stephanie Brown. The Batgirl."

"You haven't mentioned her before," Talia mused. "I thought she was dead."

"She wasn't. She isn't. She's the new Batgirl. At first I thought she was weak and useless-Her stance is weak, her breathing is inadequate, she makes as much noise as a drunken elephant..." Damian went into a lengthy diatribe about Stephanie, over the course of which Talia's smile grew.

"... And she-She actually teased me with her... Her..."

"Breasts, Damian?" Talia asked. Damian flushed.

"Yes. Those."

"She sounds like an... Interesting young woman," Talia mused.

"She... Is... Sort of... Somewhat," Damian said.

"Well, why don't you take her to dinner?" Talia suggested. "Get to know her? I'm sure Alfred can help you with all the arrangements."

"Dinner?" Damian asked.

"Yes. Also known as a date. Ask her on a date, my son," Talia encouraged.


"After all, she is... Interesting, is she not?" Talia said with an impish smile. Damian blushed, but managed to nod.


"Well then, get to know her better. And then, if she proves interesting enough, make her your bride. It's very simple," Talia said.

Damian nodded. "Yes mother."

"Have a good night, Damian. I love you," Talia said.

Damian muttered he loved her too, and cut the transmission. Talia hummed and smiled thoughtfully.

Perhaps it was time to visit her Beloved's city again... And see about this young woman her son was interested in.

One shot, unless you guys want more. And yeah I know Damian's first crush in the comics was Katana but Second Crush isn't as good a title. R&R please.