It' s been a very long time, I know, and I'm REALLY sorry! What can I say? Uni life just takes it out of a gal! I want to send out a huge thank you to all those out there still reading my story! You're all absolutely amazing! Hope you enjoy.
– xxx Harley
I stood at the counter, staring off into space. Usually I'd make an effort to, at least, look like I was working. But not today. I could feel the resignation letter heavy in my pocket, weighing me down, a constant reminder that this was my last day. A huge smile spread across my face. Nothing was going to ruin this day for me. A door closed at the back as my boss retreated to his office, my smile grew and I skipped to the milkshake machine, filling a cup with a mix of chocolate milk and ice-cream. I didn't bother going for a straw and, instead, tipped my head back and drank with a satisfied sigh. No more putting up with crying kids and their happy meal toys. No more smelling like fries whenever I finished a shift. No more Jok-
The glass door flew open and he strode in. His heavy steps (making dirty footprints on the freshly cleaned floor) told me that he was not happy.
"Hey there – err- Krusty." His voice was deadly, sharp, like the blade in his hand. But NOTHING was going to ruin my day. I took another swig of my drink, slamming it down on the counter as I stared at the Joker.
"What can I get for you Jay?"
"My, my aren't we in a good mood –ah. "He raised an eyebrow. "You got-a little something on you're –a lip, Krusty."
I grinned, licking off the milk moustache and shoving the milkshake at his face.
"You want one too?" His eyes flashed dangerously. I held back a laugh. I could be as annoying as him. It was time the clown got a taste of his own medicine. I jumped onto the counter, swinging my legs around and pouring the drink over his face. It spilled down his chin, over his suit and dripped onto the floor. The blade flicked open and he growled.
"Krusty…" the ice in his voice almost sent shivers down my spine. Almost. It was a warning.
I ignored it.
"See? Now you're just like me." I planted my feet beside him, throwing my arm up around the shoulders of the closest goon. Standing on tip-toe to reach him, I pointed with my other hand.
"Doesn't he look just swell!" The goons face went red, his cheeks blowing up as he tried not to laugh. The Joker raised his eyebrows, making the milk moustache all the more funny. The goon lost it, falling into fits of laughter. I giggled along side him. The Joker pulled out a gun and the goon collapsed to the ground with a loud BANG. The restaurant fell completely silent. Those that weren't already under tables dove to the floor.
"Now THAT just wasn't nice!" I said, stepping away from the goon. My heart thundered in my chest and I tried to hide my fear as I edged back toward the counter.
"Ah, ah ah…now where do you think you're going sweetcheeks!" He grabbed my arm, a terrifying smile stretching the scars on his cheeks.
"I believe I have something on my face."
His grip on my arm tightened painfully.
"And-err- how did you remove yours-ah."
"Licked it off." I shrugged. His grin widened.
"Then, if you please…" he leant toward me, the smell of grease paint filling my nostrils.
"You want me to do what? Bugger off!" I tried to pull away, the Joker's grip was to strong.
"Now, now Krusty. You made a mess. Time to clean. It. up." His eyes twinkled. I grimaced, reaching behind me for the cup on the counter. I forced the lid off and practically threw it at his face.
"How about some bubbled water?" The sprite splashed over his mouth, stripping away the moustache and dripping down to form a horrible mess on the suit. I laughed nervously.
"I'm assuming it wasn't expensive?"
"The suit?" he growled again. "Well, it was new. I bought it today with the money provided, to me, by your wonderful restaurant."
My eyes narrowed.
"How wonderful for you."
"Well ya see Krusty-" he pulled me forward by the shirt, throwing me into a chair at the nearest table as the previously seated family ran off.
"- I've actually had a very bad day. And you see, that's all it takes."
"All it takes for what?"
"hushhshshsh!" He pulled the Joker bobble-head from his suit, planting it on the table between us.
"Mini Jay likes to listen when I tell stories." He winked, I groaned. The goons gathered like kindergarten children around their favourite teacher. My boss walked out, saw the group of goons in his restaurant again and fainted, as usual.
"Now. My day. I woke up, bright and early. I went and had my suit re-made." He glared at me. "It was perfect. As I left the store, having done nothing wrong, I stepped around the corner to find the street blocked off by Gordon and his men!" His eyes widened in mock concern, I let out a bored sigh.
"Someone ratted me out. The batman. All for buying a little suit."
"You blew up a building, killed at least fifteen people in a boating accident and set that guy on fire…" He rolled his eyes.
"That was last week. SO! I try to sneak past them, blend in. But it doesn't work. Guess my – err- incredible good looks just can't be hidden, ay Krusty?"
"Oh yes Mister.J you're a stunner." I said, dripping sarcasm. He winked.
"Well, they pull out their guns and start- err – shouting, one of them tries firing, to scare me!" He let out a laugh.
"Trying to scare me. So I turn to him, smiling and the poor kid drops his gun falls to his knees and bursts into tears! Right there in the street!"
"I can tell you feel horribly guilty."
"Oh I'm torn up about it, Krusty!" he grinned. "The other cops start to get nervous. Start backing away, still yelling. So I reach into my pocket. They all raise their guns higher, sweat dripping off their heads; two of them jump behind their cars. Passersby are frozen in fear…"
He leant back in his chair, staring at me, waiting for a reaction. I couldn't help it, I was intrigued. I took the bait.
"So, what happened?"
"They raise their guns, ready to shoot. The batman is up in the biggest, highest building, watching over the whole scene…ready to jump in and save the day! … So I pull a bagel out of my pocket. And they fire! Bread went flying everywhere; my bagel fell to the ground, full of holes and landed in a puddle. Everyone was screaming and crying! People were running everywhere!" He took a deep breath, as if to continue, but then stopped. There was silence, nobody moved or spoke for what seemed like hours.
"And…then what?" I whispered, afraid to interrupt the tension in the room.
"Well-ah. I turned around, jumped in the truck and chuckles here drove us away."
"So that's it! You didn't get shot? The batman didn't take you away? You didn't even pull out a gun?"
"What do you mean that's it? Weren't you – err- listening, Krusty. I dropped my Bagel."
My mouth fell open in shock as the Joker burst into hysterical laughter, the goons chuckling around him.
"That was your bad day! You dropped a bagel – a fucking bagel – and you storm in here like someone's stolen you're fucking truck or something!"
"Mind you're – err – tongue Krusty." The blade was pressed suddenly against my cheek. Any more language like that, and I may have to cut it out."
I pulled away from him, gobsmacked. "But it was a bagel!"
"NO! It was my bagel. And now I'm hungry."
I completely forgot my desire to annoy the Joker and, instead, strode to the counter, set up the screen and shrugged.
"Well damn. If all you want is food then…What can I get for you?"
"A bagel." He said, leaving the table to stand in front of me.
"We don't have bagels."
"Then go and get. me .one!"
"You want me to leave my shift, go downtown and buy you a bagel, whilst you wait here in the restaurant? No way in hell."
"And why not?"
"When I come back the place will probably be a pile of ash and play equipment! Go and get your own bagel."
"That's no way to treat your customers Krusty. You may get fired…"
I laughed, my eyes twinkling as I pulled the letter from my pocket and shoved it in his face.
"I don't care what happens during this shift! It's not my problem anymore. I'm quitting!"
A smile found it's way onto his face.
"You – err – don't care what happens?" The Joker turned to the nearest goon and gestured at the window. The goon cracked his knuckled, leant back and SMACK! Sent his fist flying through the glass.
"What are you doing? My Boss will have a fit!"
"It's-ah – not your problem, ay Krusty?"
I growled, running my hands through my hair.
"Fine! Do what you want, I don't care!"
The joker shrugged and leant over the counter, ripping the screen up and throwing it into the fry grease. My eyes widened, fists clenched at my sides, but I remained silent. The Joker snapped his fingers and, knowing what to do, the goons set to work destroying the restaurant. Uplifting tables, snapping chairs, overturning bins, Frisbee-ing trays into walls and the remaining windows. One of the, larger, goons ended up stuck halfway down the slide. Chaos reigned around me, my moral picking away at my brain until I couldn't take it any more.
"ALRIGHT STOP!" the goons froze. The Joker stopped kicking the goon who was stuck halfway down the slide and turned around.
"I'll get your god damn Bagel. Sit down. Wait here and DON'T touch ANYTHING else."
I stormed from the restaurant, muttering curses under my breath as the Joker found one of the non-broken chairs to sit on.
I returned 40 minutes later, a steaming bagel in a bag at my side. The restaurant, to my surprise was in the same state it had been in when I had left. I grinned. The goons were gathered around the Joker, mini Jay on the table. I assumed it was story time again. I marched to the table, throwing the bag into the middle of the group with a proud grin.
"There! One bagel. You better appreciate it! It took me ages to find the place, I got lost almost four times! Then the bagel I wanted was taken by the woman in front of me, so I had to wait for a new lot to be brought out. Then I had to get them to heat it up. Got into a huge argument with the server because of it! Then, on my way back, a group of stupid schoolkids tried to make me hand it over! I've never been through so much just for one bagel, in my life!"
The goons, after my speech, slowly pulled their chairs back so I could see the Joker. He was leaning back, content, in his chair, a huge chocolate milk at his side and a half-eaten bagel on a napkin in front of him. My blood went cold.
"WHAT is that?" I said through clenched teeth, my nails digging into my palms.
"A bagel. I-err – found another one in my other pocket…guess you didn't need to go anywhere after all, Krusty."
I let out a furious scream, ripped off my hat and badge and threw them to the floor.
"My shift ended half an hour ago! I, officially, quit! And as for your Bagel!" I stomped over to the Joker, snatched the bagel from his napkin and shoved the whole thing in my mouth. With a smug grin I took his drink, swallowing every drop.
"Bad day my ass! Try working here! THAT is a bad fucking day."
The Joker sighed, slowly sliding back from his chair and standing up.
"That, was my bagel…" he said under his breath, raising his head to look at me with murderous eyes.
"Yeah, was." He grabbed my arm, pulled out the switchblade and grimaced.
"Sorry – err- Krusty. That's strike three… You're out."
To be continued. Stay tuned, kiddies... :)