Harry and his new friend part Three
I do not own any thing other than my own ideas, as for everything else J,K,Rowling and whoever invented Betelgeuse own them.
This chapter will not be as funny. sigh
As Percy, sometimes known as Peeves the bloody annoying Poltergeist, sat waiting for his mate Harry to come around he envisioned several painful scenarios for certain people. Vernon if he could talk his way out of this would be scared, Dumbledick was more of a problem, first he would be searching for his wand. "Good luck with that" thought Percy he had hid it in the one place mortals would find hard to get to, with out aid. He had after hiding Harry took it to the bottom of Thames flood barrier and stuck it to one of the support beams. Any one umm say named Dumbledore who tried to apparate to the wand would find themselves 40ft under water, cold water, very cold water, if the shock of the water temp didn't do them in then that first breath he took would. If he portkeyed in with a time delayed portakey then he was finished unless he could swim up in a strong current and see in pitch black water, and breath and cast a bubble head charm all at the same time. Once the area ward stones he had planted went of letting him know someone had been there he would get there fast then take it to spot two, He was still working on spot two but he figured a lead lined iron box (both metals hated magic) and have it in a brightly lit tunnel, a very brightly lit tunnel that had broken glass and that all over it, and maybe some other of the less nice things like Boggets would help him, willing or not willingly. He smiled and then frowned as he heard a grumble from Harry.
Harry felt like he had been working in the garden all day on a hot summers day with nothing to eat or drink, doctors and the such would have said it was dehydration, and he needed fluids to get rid of the pains in his body. All he knew is he felt like that now. Hew could just make out Percy (by the sound of it) saying to drink something. He felt a glass stuck under his nose and then smelt something rather disgusting, trusting Percy though he drank it and was he glad he did, "BOORA yippee, now that's the ticket." Harry sat bolt upright and felt like he had drank liquid lightning, everything tingled and more importantly his head had stopped pounding. He turned with a grateful grin to his best mate his best pal come to think of it, his only mate and his only pal, it was so lucky that he was the best. "So Percy what the hell happened? And more importantly what the hell was that drink?". He saw as his friend tried to collect his thoughts, or they could just have been random maggots that fled his hair in hopes of freedom? Who knew and how to be honest cared, certainly not Harry. "Right the drink is called a pepper up potion, and it is one we should make, Now as to what happened well, it's like this. I kicked Dumbledick and Vernon in the nadgers a couple of times after Dumbledick hit you with a stunner." He held up his hand before Harry could speak, "now a stunner is a sort of knock out spell that just knocks a person out. The fact you have been out for a few hours shows he was pulling no punches, the most you should have been out is 20 mins. Well I sort of lost it and went a little nuts... or should I say nut bashing?" he shrugged and smiled. "So mate do you want to go back or do you want try freedom for as long as possible?" He again held up his hand "On one side Dumbledick will hunt you down and me, also if he gets you he will wipe your mind I think he must have before, also even if he does not know who I am he can look at memories and make guesses, he does have a small army of butt kissers to help him as well, he has not got his wand as I sort of hid it after pinching it so he is at a small disadvantage . So the idea of going back has merit if and only if we can keep your memories, also after this I don't think the Dursley's will be so mean as they wont be able to get me...but no one knows you are a metamorph you have nothing magical on you for them to trace I know I checked, and no one knows what we look like when you change appearance or in my case even my name. Down side we are skint and have no cash at all, upside we can be free to do as we like, we have our memories, and we have surprise on our side, and it is easy to get cash, also a place to live is not a worry after we have some cash we can go camping." Harry just shook his head and tried to work it out. Go number 4 and maybe be hit and loose his freedom along with the sound of it having some sort of tracer put on him, or risk being free and eating right, he could not see the fun in camping though. To most it would have been an easy choice run but Harry thought about it, and run won out. "Okay we run for it." Percy smiled slapped him on the back and started to sing some song about a home on a range? Why anyone would want a home on a stove was beyond Harry. ( he really was lacking that much practical knowledge and knowledge about other cultures) Percy, now Harry was awake decided to go invisible and return to number 4 to see how much dosh he could steal. He told Harry what he was doing and then faded away. Only to come back 5 minutes later laughing his backside off.
Harry waited until he had calmed down before asking what was so funny, Percy tried to tell him but kept cracking up, sometimes literally, as small cracks would appear all over him then he would crumble into a pile of rubble only to rebuild himself. Finally he managed to choke out what he had seen. "I left here and went there, so no surprise right? What did surprise me was the news vans the T.V crews and the police, I saw several magical's including one Arabella Figg and squib cousin of Dumbledore's, several teachers from Hogwarts namely one grease ball Snape, and Minerva the kitty licker McGonagall, None looked to happy. I did a bit of listening in and it seemed that Figg had been dropped called? When she had been out or someone never left a message. Anyway she checked to see who it was as several magical's can't use the phone, She was surprised to find it led to the local cop shop, She asked if they knew who had rung her and apparently was horrified it was one Albus Dumbledore. She was even more upset as they wouldn't let him come to the phone now as it was out of hours. Greaseball was saying how he bet it was all your fault and kitty was saying how she knew it was a bad idea to leave you here." Percy took a breath "I find it funny how a Deatheater a squib and Mckitty knew where you lived yet according to the papers in the magical world you were getting training from Dumbledick or living the high life on one of your estates... come to think of it why aren't you on one of the potter estates?" He scratched his head and ate the odd maggot he had impaled on his finger nails. "MMMMM now if I remember James, said he had one really nutty Elf that worked for him, always wanted to be free and always wanted socks." He saw the look on Harry's face and shook his head "Harry house elves need to be bonded or their magic fades, so none want to be free, also to free an elf you give it clothes, so for an elf wanting to be free and to want socks is very odd." Harry, nodded he knew he had no knowledge of other species hell he had hardly any knowledge of humans and he was one. " We asked the guy once why he wanted to be free and his answer was …..different to say the least. He wanted to be free so he could bound with a... sheep and get as many socks as he wanted, you see he had heard about Dumbledick and his goat fetish... I still can't see why people blame his brother? Anyway he knew socks were made from wool and he loves socks, apparently they can be used to warm feet warm ears and warm his jiggly bit...we never asked he was to to well lets say we never asked and leave it at that." Percy, shivered "James after that hardly ever wore socks that's all I know. The thing is if any of the Potter, elves are around that nutter would be the most loyal and best one to call for. Now what was his name...Dibby? Doppy?
Nope got it " He looked at harry and smiled " Harry, my lad if this works prepare for utter insanity for if this works your about to meet the one the only the truly insane DOBBY!, A load crack and something from that ring film, Lovers of the Ring? Son of the Ring, oh, Lord of the Ring appeared before them. It was small had massive ears and was caressing a sock? "You call Dobby? Who you to call Dob..." he turned and followed the finger that was pointing some where behind him " He couldn't feel anyone but he turned and saw " Master James I can't feel you?" Harry shivered at that as the way Dobby, was playing with that sock in a way that reminded him of some of the men at the last strip joint...shudder. Percy, spoke up "that's not James, it's his son little Harry." That was as far as he got as the elf jumped Harry looked him in the eye and then seemed to think he was a randy dog and started to dry hump Harry's leg. Percy tried I mean he really did try but he just couldn't help it he burst out laughing and missed most of what the fornicating elf was saying. It took a while for the Elf to calm down( Percy said something about Elf stamina ) but Harry ignored him and tried not to think about the wet spot on his trousers shuuudddeerrrr.
Harry, and Percy, watched as a very irate elf told his story "Afters we loose bonds with Jamsey and lillies we go to next person Harries" with that he looked at Harry with his big moon eyes and fluttered his lashes yes actually fluttered his lashes...ugh. All was well for a small amount of time then he vanished as well. Some times later Dumbledork, comes and say all dead and place is now his, we not likes Dumbledork he like goats wool socks." Dobby looked around and sighed "we thinks he pervey, who likes goat socks?" this got a smile from Harry and a full out bellowing laugh from Percy. This little leg humper was calling Dumbledore the great, a perve. It was just to much. So he try sell us but some of us never feel real bond with new owners and some new owners are evil and hurt us. Why can't I feel bond?" He walked over to Harry and started to jabber and gibber in some weird language then as Percy watched he started to shout and swear, in several languages. It took a full 2 hours to calm him down. So "Dobby what set you off then?" asked a pained Harry, who had added blown out eardrums to carpet burns on shins from mad elf, who knew that a pair of trousers could give carpet burns if rubbed that way. Come to think of it he was better not thinking of it. "Evil magic on Master Harry evil black magic. Magic that banned and mean life in screaming place. Someone cast a Life blocker curse on him" With this he pointed to Harry, who was stunned , he was alive so how it be a life blocker curse, Percy was now replacing Dobby in the shouting and swearing place. This time it took a lot lot longer to calm him down, after it was explained they gave up trying to calm down and just worked out revenge. " Harry that curse was banned and made an instant trip to Azkaban because it was used to steal lines, not detention lines but family lines. In a Pureblood run society your family line ,your ancestors are the most important thing, for someone to do this they have rubbed out your family history it is line theft. The fact Dumbledick turned up at your family home proves it was him. But there is a way to get it back ,and it is painful, but more importantly it takes Goblin magic to do it, they are more line happy than us humans, they can trace their lines back to certain kings or wars and stuff it scary how they take this as important. So first thing we got to do is get to a Goblin bank. Harry sighed it seemed he would not find out what had cracked Percy up after coming back from number 4 just yet.
Getting to a Goblin bank was easy first they got some cash, that was easy as Percy just lifted some wallets from some drunks coming out a nearby pub, Then a taxi to London, A quick change to his adult form, This set Dobby of leg humping as he had never realised how great Master Harry was. Then into the leaky cauldron, where they had a quick pint and a small meal of bubble and squeak, then after Tom, opened up the wall to Diagon Alley (Just visiting from abroad and not sure how to get in, was their excuse ) They made their way to the bank. As it was night-time there was not a lot of activity, from the sounds of an alley called Knockturn it seemed someone was swinging a cat into a wall. Other than that it was quiet. The big doors and large knocker (that Percy said would look better if it was more life like, after all I have never seen any knockers like that,) this got a weird look from Dobby and a smile from Harry as he remembered "the Massive Jugg twins" A couple of bangs and the door opened.
Harry had been told about Goblins but even so they were one ugly looking set of sods. "Yes what you want?" It seemed they had no manners either, but Harry just shrugged two could play that game " Well I saw this door had a huge set of knockers on it, so I assumed it was the local knocking house, no wait I saw the words bank and the big knockers on the door and thought it was a sperm bank and I came to make a deposit..." the Goblin,Dobby and even Percy looked at him in shock. Percy was sure he had told Harry not to be flippant and to be respectful he was positive in fact. " I want to see some one about my money what the hell do you think I want. Do they only hire idiots to Goblin the door?" The Goblin started then looked around not seeing anyone but the Elf and the ghost and this... meal he smiled and waved them in. "Come in", Percy was shocked and weary Dobby was well Dobby. Harry spoke up once the door was shut "Now look here, get some one with brains and who is important it has come to my notice that this elf belongs to me, yet he can't sense I am his owner." The Goblin smiled (so an out of luck snob trying to get back what he sold to pay of debts... he shouldn't be missed) then licked his lips. The meal carried on, and the Goblin attitude changed "now I am a shape changer and I thought it could be that, but this elf did a test and found out that I had some sort of line destroyer curse on me," This really made the Goblin wake up and take notice if this was true dinner could wait...for now. "so let me show you myself and if you can get some tester and tat here I want what is mine and the one who stole it punished." Harry shrank down and without a care in the world stuck on his smaller trousers then changed his top, Dobby and the Goblin noticed the scars, Percy was just plotting how to make them, pass on to someone else.
The Goblin rushed off leaving a confused Harry standing there, "is he coming back or what?" Percy turned to Harry and smacked him across the back of his head " I told you to be respectful I do not in any way remember saying take the piss out of the Goblin and his bank!" Harry rubbed his head then had to rub his leg as Dobby kicked him in the shins "Dobby just..." He stopped and started at Harry more importantly at Harry's scar. "You is Harry Potter?" Harry rubbed his forehead "Dobby if my mum was lilly Potter and my Dad James Potter who would I be?" Dobby was shaking his head "No you is Harry Potter, the Harry Potter, not Harry Potter." harry and Percy just shrugged and looked confused. They would have asked a question but for two things one some Goblins were coming towards them and two Dobby was nuts so why ask and then get an answer that might send you insane. Harry smiled and nodded to the Goblin's standing before him "Right so what one does what I don't have all night I have things to do enemies to cause great pain to and most importantly I have to find out what's been stolen from me so I can properly thank the Goblin or Goblin's that let some wanker steal my stuff." Several Goblins pulled out their swords while some pretended to take great interest in their knives. Harry just looked on bored, "Well?" An old Goblin came forth and asked if he wanted the test here or in private. Harry smiled "here, that way we can see how competent or incompetent you lot are. Percy and Dobby started to edge to the doors, friends and masters were all well and good but being a pert of a meal was not in the job description. The Old Goblin nodded and gave a Nod to some younger Goblins that brought forward a bowl some parchment a couple of nasty looking knives and some rune stones (well what he thought looked like rune stone from Percy's, description) and motioned Harry forward.
The ritual was a let down after all the mojo and mumble jumble all Harry had to do was supply. 3 lots of blood. One from his left hand, one from his right hand, and one from his forehead, this was supposed to signify his mother his father and his past. He did have to use a different knife for each lot of blood and he didn't know it but most times he would have been asked to prick his thumb with a needle and let 3 drops into the basin. He had annoyed them so it was 3 shallow cuts and 20 drops in the basin. It didn't help he was not allowed to heal himself by anything but his own magic "As any potion will mess with the test" said the old Goblin smiling to himself. It was a petty thing to do but ha, what the hell it was only a foul mouthed human meal. That smirk was wiped of as the "Meal" was identified as "Lord Harry James Potter, Head of Gryfindor from father line head of Slytherin, from the past line this was under lined" with from "victory in combat also gains Hufflepuff line as Slytherin line murdered Hufflepuff line and took for his own" This made Percy and Dobby look at him with awe. Then came his mothers line "from squib line head of the Rasputin line" The last one confused Harry but the Goblins started to murmur amongst themselves this was not a meal. Percy was not sure what the last meant and why it made the Goblins edgy neither was Dobby. So harry seeing no help from anyone just asked "Okay who is or was this Rasputin? That has you in such a snit?" The Goblins looked at him as if he had grown a second head or maybe, as if he had just said gold was a boring metal. The Old Goblin spoke up "Rasputin was the Wizard son of the last rulers of Russia, he,he had a falling out with his family, after an accident he went mad, sadly all his family died because of it. While he was away just before the accident he went on a sabbatical, or sort of holy pilgrimage thing, anyway at one point he visited England and it seems he met a women from your mothers side of the family and got her pregnant then she had a child until we get to your mother and you. You are the ruler in exile of all magical Russia, also you have all the treasure that Rasputin took from the amber room to hundreds of Fabergé eggs, all of them with different magical things in them rummer has it some of them eggs are real phoenix eggs. Now Dobby and Percy feinted, Harry couldn't help but think they were not helpful.
Sorry short chapter hope you like
from me and from him (points invisible friend bye bye for now).