CRACK! by: Insane SS19 that didn't take her non-existent meds.
Summary on why: Hey, Fan-chan told me that maybe I should write a crack, so yeah. But don't worry, there are no crack ships, just my usual ones. But not much romance. It'll be very random, I hope. Munching on some strawberry pocky and listening to 'Move Your Feet' helps. Especially with my brother watching Digimon Digidestined The Movie and me trying to draw Ashley Shinkudo Kango from my story, DIEWTGL, also, I guess I'm trying to multitask. XD I don't know if this is a crack, but it's my attempt at one!
Rating: K+ or T
Randomness level: *Beep beep* *too high I hope*
"Hey, Green! Do you want some taffy?" Blue came running from her annual Kanto Fitness skipping ritual.
"Taffy. Yum," Green gratefully took some taffy and popped it into his mouth.
"It tastes like nail polish."
"Maybe because it's nail polished flavored!" Blue smoothed out her glittery disco shirt.
"Â¡Hey, tengo gusto de comer la espinaca condimentada!" Green yelled angrily. ("Hey, I like to eat spinach flavored!" Sorry if it's wrong, I use Dashboard's translator...)
"Conosco l'italiano, anche, ragazzo!" Blue replied. ("I know Italian, too, boyfriend!")
"Â¡Es espaÃ±ol, y no soy â novioâ ! Â¡Soy su novio!" Green told her. ("It's Spanish, and I'm not 'Boyfriend'! I'm your boyfriend!")
"Okay, could we stop speaking in different languages? I mean, I now know you're bilingual!" (Is that spelled correctly?)
"Trilingual," Green replied, then took another Taffy. "I hope this is spinach flavored."
"Er, Green, that's-" Blue cringed at Green's saliva hitting the cement.
"It's dandelion flavored," Green said, disgusted. "Where do you even get these disgusting taffies? I'd take a spicy cinnamon stick any day."
"I got it from Gio's Gummies!" Blue took out a flyer.
"Do you realize that is Silver's father, Giovanni, in an apron?" Green gingerly handed the flyer back to Blue.
"Oh, well. I'm going to go find Yellow and Red!" Blue ran off to a random direction, brandishing the bag of taffies.
With Yellow and Red
"Uh, Red, do you like eating celery 'n' ice-cream?" Yellow asked, looking at the menu of Food la Weird.
"No...I'm allergic to the color green," Red replied.
"Then...how do you stand Green's eyes?"
"Uh...they never color them. When they do color them, I stay away. And when they colored your eyes green wrongly, I was so offended, I forgot to puff up..."
Yellow smiled and replied, "Then we'll order the all-yellow and all-red meal, okay?"
"...lose our minds...raise your glass, just come on and come on and raise your glass...I should be locked up right on the spot...*hum*...Why so serious...all my underdogs...we will never be never be anything but loud...little freaks..." Blue came humming and whispering lyrics to P!nk's 'Raise Your Glass'.
"Where's Green?" asked Yellow. Some customers were giving the table strange looks. 1 blonde boy with a huge straw hat, the Kanto League champion, and a brunette girl. If they didn't know about the pokedex-holders, then it would have been a sight to behold.
"Oh, him? I think he was throwing up in a bowl of green pea soup...I think Gold convinced him to do that," Blue replied, then waved over a waiter. "Waiter, waiter. I think I'll have the PokeUp."
"Erm, waiter, may we have the yellow-colored meal and the red-colored meal?" Yellow asked, taking out her wallet.
"Ah, Yellow, I'll pay for it," Red handed over some pokeyen for the meal.
"I like how you didn't pay attention to the price of the meal and payed for my soda," Blue smirked, tossing a bag of multi-colored taffies to them. "Au revoir!"
The waiter, who was dressed in a comb-costume, came over with their plates of food.
On Yellow's plate, there was a piece of tofu fried and salted until it turned yellow, some corn, a banana, mustard, and lemonade on the side. Red had spiced tofu, ketchup, cherries, a slice of tamato (is that how you spell it? Too lazy to check...) berry, and red fruit punch.
"It looks good!" Yellow commented, cutting her tofu with a pitchfork that had the name 'Zoey' inscribed on the handle. It looked like somebody had chipped a nail doing that.
"Yeah," Red began to cut his ketchup with an equally sharp pitchfork labeled with a sticker that said 'Fin'. Nobody chipped a nail there, I hope.
They finished their meals and skipped to the world of talking yams and the 'Lost Potty-Trained 1 year old'.
"I am Elder YAMamoto!" an elderly looking yam with a long, white beard hopped over to them.
"Hello, Elder YAMamoto!" Yellow shook his hand, er, beard.
"Mwa name is Harold," the little boy came waddling over.
"Er..." Yellow and Red inched away slightly from the little boy. After all, he might not be potty-trained, as it had been 82 years since he was banned from growing up and becoming a trainer. Despite his claims that he didn't kill the only piece of camouflage-colored gelatin, they threw him into the Sierra Nevada Mountains and eventually yams migrated there.
"KYAH!" Yellow yelled, and there was a sudden flash of liquor sticks and bubble gum.
"Where are we?" Red practically screamed.
"Welcome to," a mysterious man said, ", DOOFUSI!"
"Wouldn't it be 'doofuses', not 'doofusi'?" Yellow asked, then bit the inside of her mouth.
'How cheeky of Yellow,' thought Red. 'But that's actually pretty brave.'
"Well, young lady," the man mused. "Do you want to hear the Gummy Bear Song?"
"Umm...you mean the Gummy Teddiursa Song?" Yellow replied, not knowing how cheeky she sounded, despite her innocent look.
Red followed the man to a CD player as he inserted an album in.
"OH I'M A GUMMY TEDDIURSA, YES I'M A GUMMY TEDDIAURSA. OH I'M A- !" the CD player started to smoke and Yellow screamed as it caught on fire.
"May I interest you in some other songs-on the radio?" the mysterious man pointed to a radio with it's springs coming out.
"Sure!" Red agreed, and the man began to turn the dial.
"Who's that ch-" "GEIKO, 15 minutes could save you 15%-" "-stick with me through whatev-" "-catch a grenade for y-" "This beef jerk-" "Fruit Salad, yummy yum-" "We speak no Engl-" "I love you, you love me-" "'Steve, what do you think we'll be doing tonight?' 'Don't know, Linda, but we'll do it with a smile and reply, 'Yes-ceritos'!'"
"Um, sir?" Yellow tried to get the man's attention, but he was too busy turning the dial.
Red was losing his patience. After all, what kind of Kanto champion sits around and listens to the radio with an old man? But apparently Arceus didn't want Red to explode, because the radio exploded for Red.
That was the last thing Red and Yellow heard before a beam of mangos hit them in the head.
"Did that teleport us anywhere?" Yellow asked, rubbing the bruise on her forehead.
"Hmmm..." Red surveyed the area. "I think we're back in Pallet town!"
Yellow smiled happily and began to do the moon-walk, though Arceus-knows-how she did that. I mean, can you do that?
Red watched in interest, grabbed a very lumpy apricorn smoothie with boba, and began to twirl and to hip hop dance. Blue appeared out of no where and sang, "Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard~!"
Green, who was just walking down a boulevard, all of a sudden donned a black jacket and looked exactly like some stranger dude. He mumbled, "Hnn...Tenuto!" He waved a baton and Kurt, who was not there earlier, began to stress the note he was playing on the mini electric pink keyboard.
A loud cacophony erupted, since Blue was singing 'Don't Stop Believing', Green was trying to conduct Kurt to play a piece on the keyboard, Red had started to rap, and Yellow was softly singing a beautiful, though girl-ish, version of 'Thriller'.
They continued this for several minutes until a loud, booming voice interrupted their-uh, what was it called?-party-like thing. "What hasseth you cometh up witheth, Greeneth?"
Green looked up and yelled, "ON THE NAME OF KING GEORGE III! SETH, STOP ADDING SUCH A BORING SUFFIX TO THOSE WORDS! CAN'T YOU SAY HASMYUKZZZ? WITHUKJUH*CHOKING SOUND*? EVEN GREEN*CHOKING, STRANGLING SOUND*?"
All of a sudden, Yellow's hat flew off, and everyone without a hat got different hair styles. Green became mohawk man, Blue became hair-in-front-of-face girl, and Red's hair looked like...like a big thunder-bolt.
Yellow cried, "THE GREAT GOD, HYUTAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZECK, HAS COME TO EAT OUR FEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
Blue, Green, and Red payed, yes, no heed, and turned on their iTouches. Arceus knows how they got their grubby hands on those!
thunderbolt: Creeping me out
beautifulnstealthy: Yeah, Green, why are you like this? :p
silentbutnotemo: Cuzzzzz meeeeee wanttttt toooooooooo
thunderbolt: I wonder when Yellow is joining us ;_;
beautifulnstealthy: Don't cry or Green'll die
sunflower has logged on
sunflower: What is going on?
beautifulnstealthy: Hi Yellow! :D
thunderbolt: HI! 8D 83
sunflower: Hi guys! Wait-why is Green silent?
thunderbolt: He, a few min ago, did the X_X face
sunflower: So, he's dead?
silentbutnotemo: I ammmmm aaaaaa zombieeeeeeeeeee
The pokedex-holders were so engrossed in their IMing, they didn't notice the fact that this 'Seth' was actually-yes, actually-a dude with a cap on. AWESOME!
beautifulnstealthy: Who wants ice-cream?
silentbutnotemo: Zomebiessssss loveeeeeee iceeeeeeee-creammmmmmmmmmm
beautifulnstealthy: K, let's get ice-cream! XD
beautifulnstealthy has logged off
thunderbolt has logged off
sunflower has logged off
silentbutnotemo has logged off
"Let's head to Ivy's Icicle Ice-Cream!" Blue began to skip happily towards the shop.
While on the way there, a giant octopus the size of the giant in Jack the Beanstalk's foot appeared out of no where and screeched, "I SHALL FLING YOU TO THE FARTHEST CORNER OF THE WORLD!"
Green looked up indifferently and yelled back, "THE WORLD'S ROUND!"
An awkward silence erupted, which was pretty weird because it's silence. But nonetheless, sharpedo munched on imitation chicken and-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! That's not proper awkward silence sound! Oh well, I guess with budget cuts, it will have to do.
The octopus regained his composure and shrieked, "YARGH, BUT YEE MUST FEEL YEE RATH OF THEE OCTOPUS, OCTO-PUSSY!"
A girl clutching an abnormally large branch jumped from no where and shrieked, "SHRIEKING IS MY THING!" She then whacked Octo-pussy with the abnormally large branch.
When the dex-holders went home that night and hit the hay, they probably, if it wasn't a crackfic, would have been thinking, 'What a weird day!' But since it was a crackfic, they were all thinking, 'We never did get that ice-cream...'
I know you're all thinking that I should work on DIEWTGL. Yes, I am doing so; I just want this to be posted first! I hope you find amusement in it! Hopefully none of you think I'll be loony like this is DIEWTGL...^^;;