Author's Note: Yo! This is a one-shot that came to me when I was watching a movie and this guy walks into his room with a towel around his waist, his body still dripping wet... mmm.

You're welcome. ;)

WARNING: Contains slash, male/male graphic sex. NC-17 material. Don't like? DON'T READ. Sub!Kirk/Top!Spock

[Full Summary]: James has been caught flirting. Again. So it's Spock's duty to show the young Captain who he really belongs to. ::Possessive!Spock::

The bathroom door slid open with a soft hiss as Jim sauntered into his room, thick steam from his hot shower wafting in after him. He had a large towel tied around his slim waist, just barely covering his male sex, the top of the towel tied just under his slightly protruding hipbones. The dark golden hair that trickled down from his navel to his groin stood out sharply against his flesh, which was still partially beaded with the water from his shower.

He ran his fingers through his damp hair, the curling strands a dark bronze because of the water. With a grumble to himself, he acknowledged his hair was getting a bit long and would have to be cut soon so as not to go against regulations.

It took all the time for Jim to saunter over to his dresser and pull out a pair of boxers, before he realized he was not the only person in his room. Which wasn't too much of a surprise, because his lighting had been lowered, so the room was cast in an ambient glow, shadows casted by furniture elongated and darkened on the walls and floor.

With a start, his eyes fell on his Vulcan First Officer, who had been sitting silently on the edge of Jim's bed. He was wearing all black off-duty clothes, and his pale feet were bare. For some reason, Jim found that sight to be highly erotic, but his curiosity at the First Officer's presence derailed any potential arousal. Hardly a time to let his secret attraction to his First Officer be known.

"Hey Spock. You alright?" Jim questioned, turning to head over to the apparently sullen Vulcan, his boxers absently gripped in his hand.

Spock was uncharacteristically hunched over, his elbows rested on his knees, his hands joined together by his fingers, which he held as if in prayer. Jim stopped just before the silent First Officer, looking down at him, a touch of concern beginning to come over him.

A drop of water trailed down Jim's cheek from his hair, and dripped off his jaw. It fell onto Spock's lap with a muffled splat. That seemed to grab the hybrid's attention, as Jim's question didn't.

Spock blinked up at the young Captain, his usual amber eyes dark and black as pitch.

"Negative," Spock finally spoke, his voice low and guttural. A shiver rolled down Jim's back, and his skin broke out in goosebumps at the raw tone of Spock's voice. He sounded... hungry.

And then Jim realized- feeling quite stupid that it took him so long to do so -that he was standing before his regal, ultra conservative First Officer dripping wet in nothing but a damn towel.

No wonder Spock seemed all weird. Jim was probably making him extremely uncomfortable.

A deep, burning flush rose up Jim's neck into his cheeks, and he licked his lips. A habit he developed whenever he was uncomfortable or nervous. While Jim didn't consider himself the most modest of people, he cared for Spock a great deal (a little too much, though he would never let Spock know of course) and didn't like making Spock uncomfortable if he could help it.

"Sorry about my clothes. Or, er, lack of 'em," Jim chuckled, trying to calm the atmosphere, which seemed tense and heavy for some reason. He turned to walk away from Spock. "I'll just go put some clothes on, and I'll be right back-"

A burning hot hand clamped tightly around his wrist, causing Jim to come to an abrupt halt. A strong, tingling sensation rushed up his arm at the skin-on-skin contact, along with a heavy rush of arousal and... possessiveness?

"Uh... S-Spock?" Jim turned back to face his First Officer hesitantly, confusion settling over him once more. Jim frowned, looking over his First Officer. Spock was looking up at him, his mouth hanging slightly open, breathing slightly ragged as his pitch black eyes stared into Jim's.

"No." Spock said. Commanded.

Jim swallowed.

"No?" he tried to ask for clarification, only his voice came out as a high squeak. As much as he tried not to acknowledge it, Spock was intimidating as hell. And with him looking at him like that, like he could just swallow him whole... not good. Really.

A soft whimper escaped Jim's throat before he was aware of it, and his eyes widened in shock.

Damn. Not manly at all.

Spock got to his feet with the illegal grace of a stalking predator, his eyes zeroed in on Jim and his hand still clamped around his wrist. Again, Jim licked his lips. Damn, now was not a good time to start becoming aroused. But he couldn't help it, damnit. Spock was so close, his body heat washing over Jim's skin which was still sensitive from his hot shower.

The way Spock hovered over him, his pale skin, dark features and that damn sexy as hell scent of his, deep, spicy and alien.


Jim was aware that Spock, as a Vulcan, was a touch telepath, so he tried to pull his wrist from Spock's hand so as to spare Spock his less than decent thoughts. Thoughts like what it would be like to bend over and let Spock go at him like a fucking wild animal from behind...

Jim blinked. Oh yeah; he was trying not to think about that.


"Uh, Spock. Care to let me go so I can get dressed?" Jim's voice was hopeful as he looked up at Spock, his lips forming a sheepish grin. Spock was acting really weird, had been since the Vinrl Diplomatic mission a few days ago, and maybe now Jim could coerce the truth out of him.

Just as soon as he could put some damn clothes on instead of standing in front of the Vulcan all but naked.

Which was so unfair seeing as Spock had on all of his clothes, even if his shirt was uncharacteristically short sleeved, showing off his muscular, pale arms.

Jim's penis twitch from beneath the towel, blood beginning to rush south. Not good, seeing as if he became anymore aroused, it would be difficult to hide his erection. He needed clothes on, like yesterday.

"You will not be needing any clothes for my demonstration, Jim," Spock told him, his voice still a low timbre. Jim opened his mouth to retort, but was stopped when Spock leaned forward with his other hand and slowly pulled Jim's boxers from his hand. Without a second of hesitation, Spock dropped the clothing item to the floor and kicked it away from them carelessly.

During that entire time, Spock's eyes did not leave Jim's.

As for Jim, the young captain found himself swallowing hard again, his heart beginning to hammer fast in his chest.

Oh, God. Did Spock read his thoughts? Was he going to kill him, now?

Shit. Fuck his insatiable libido; now his ass was about to be murdered.

"Spock, please. Before you kill me, care to tell me why?"

An eyebrow lifted, and finally- finally -Spock's hand fell from his wrist. Jim breathed a soft sigh of relief, but was highly aware of the fact that Spock remained close to him. So close, so damn close. Quickly, Jim took two steps back to get enough space to think.

"There will be no killing," Spock informed him. Jim held a hand over his chest and all but leaned over with overwhelming relief. His happiness was short lived, as Spock spoke again.

"I have an entirely different course planned for us tonight, however,"

Another shiver dance down Jim's spine, and his erection was definitely growing from that dangerous look in Spock's eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, his voice breathless. Spock was seriously confusing him right now, and the sooner they had this sorted out, the faster he could get the Vulcan out of his room so he could beat his meat with a vengeance. Something he had been forced to do for the last ten months, since his avowed celibacy. If he couldn't have Spock, he really didn't want anyone else.

"Do not play coy with me, James. Not tonight." Spock all but snapped. Jim started, his eyes close to popping out of his head.

Spock never said his given name. But damn, was it so damn sexy the way it rolled off that delicious tongue, all deep, rich and velvety...

Oh, wait. He was supposed to be paying attention to the conversation at hand.

Fucking libido.

"Spock, you're not making any sense here... want to tell me what you're talking about?" Jim tried again.

"Games, Jim. As a Vulcan, I have an extremely high tolerance and patience level. However, even I have my limits. You have pushed past them, and I will not take it from you anymore."

Jim floundered for a response.

"G-games? Limits... I-huh?" Jim stuttered stupidly. "What?"

Has Spock completely lost it? He wondered, concerned for his friend. Forgetting about his current state of undress, Jim stepped back to Spock, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Spock, are you sure you are alright? You've been acting really weird, and you're starting to worry me-"

Without warning, Jim found a pair of heavy, warm, and soft lips smashing against his own.

Of their own accord, before Jim could think straight, he felt his eyelids flutter shut and he opened his mouth to respond. The instant his lips parted, however, he felt Spock's blazing tongue push into it and completely dominate him, exploding Jim's senses with Spock's tantalizing taste.

He was so good.

"S-Spock," Jim pulled his head back, and had to clear his throat twice before he could find his voice. Phew. Was it hot in here or what? He stepped back so hastily, he stumbled. His heart was pounding so hard against his ribcage, he was surprised that Spock couldn't hear it. The young captain held up his hands in a surrendering fashion to Spock as the hybrid took a step towards him.

"Whoa, buddy." Jim's brain scrambled to make sense of what just happened, as his penis urged him to jump Spock right there. "What are you doing? I mean, not that I mind, but what the hell?"

Spock walked towards him again, and Jim all but fell over in an attempt to get away. Though his raging hard-on was all but screaming yes! Yes!

As much as Jim fantasized about Spock taking and fucking him every which way from Sunday, to have Spock acting so... illogical, now was quite unsettling. And Jim wasn't sure if Spock was even aware of what he was doing, or if something was serious making him act our of character.

No matter how much Jim loved sex, and loved Spock, he would never take advantage of the Vulcan. Especially in his state right now.

"I am going to show you what you do to me, Jim. What you cause me to feel. Your callousness and brash behavior may suit you in many endeavors, but it will cease in matters best left to that of a private life."

Now Jim was lost.

The fuck?

"Spock, you are making no damn sense. Do I have to order you or something?" Jim asked, starting to get frustrated.

"Your blatant dismissal and flirting with the Vinrl prince. Completely distasteful and unprofessional. I will not tolerate such behavior henceforth." Spock deadpanned. There was a pregnant pause after his statement as Jim just stared.

"Spock... he was flirting with me!" Jim suddenly whined, vaguely wondering why he felt the need to explain himself to his First. After all, it wasn't like he had done anything with the prince. In fact, afterwards, he had politely declined the prince's advances when they were alone, to spare the prince's dignity.

But it hadn't stopped the prince from finding any excuse to stroke or touch him during their feast dinner... which was over five hours long.

Actually, now that Jim thought about it, Spock had started to act all weird during the dinner, glaring at Jim and even going as far as to growl at him when Jim had tried to speak to him after the dinner.

"Maybe so, but you did not discourage him," Spock accused, his voice becoming almost a hiss. Jim frowned. If there was one thing Jim hated, it was having Spock angry with him. Spock was obviously in some crazy tizzy, and Jim wasn't in the mood to argue today.

Better to roll with the punches.

"You're right, Spock." Jim said softly. This time, it was Spock who was brought up short in surprise. "I should have tried to discourage him more from touching me the way he did. After all, it's not like I was interested in him that way."

"You were not?" Spock asked. Jim shrugged, his eyes focused downwards so he missed Spock's adam apple bobbing as the Vulcan swallowed.

"Well... no. I haven't been interested in anyone else for awhile now, so..." Jim said absently. He blinked and looked up when his words were followed by silence. He was startled to see Spock had somehow moved from a few feet away from him to standing right in front of him.

How the hell does he do that, damnit?

"'Anyone else'? That implies there is someone who has garnered your interest. May I inquire as to whom?" Spock all but purred in Jim's ear, his warm breath tickling Jim's jawline. Jim bit his lip to remain silent and watched as Spock's eyes lowered to take in his wet body, his gaze pausing on the tent at the front of his towel.

Well. Guess that cat was out of the bag, now.

"Allow me to make an educate guess as to has captured your attention," Spock insisted, looking back up into Jim's eyes with a look the blonde could only categorize as smug.

That was the only warning Jim had before he suddenly found himself somehow splayed out on his bed, his back pressed against the mattress and his lower half dangling over the edge of the bed at the waist precariously. The motion caused his legs to spread open slightly, pulling the towel loose, but not so that it completely fell away and uncovered him. It simply split along the two tied halves which rested against his thighs, giving Spock ample view of the soft, creamy skin of his inner thighs.

Jim held back a groan when he heard a low, animal like growl from deep in Spock's throat as the Vulcan stood over him.

"Spock, are you sure? I don't want you to regret this later..." Jim implored, uncharacteristically uncertain about what was happening. After all, maybe Spock's little jealous stint was causing his crazy behavior and he just hadn't meditated properly. Surely if he calmed down and rationalized everything he wouldn't really want Jim...?

Jim felt his breath leave him in a rush when he found Spock suddenly bent over him, both arms planted on the mattress on either side of his head. Spock had one leg resting on the outside of Jim's left leg, and his free leg in between Jim's opened thighs.

"The only thing I regret is not having you sooner..." Spock said softly in his ear, nuzzling his nose against the soft skin of Jim's cheek before lifting his head to look back down at his captain, his eyes full of affection. When Jim inhaled and then exhaled, it was slightly shaky due to Spock suddenly grinding his warm, muscular thigh up into Jim's unprotected groin mercilessly, his pants covered leg rubbing over Jim's highly sensitive erection.

Only the slight cloth of the blasted towel kept Jim's arousal hidden now. All it would take was one yank, and he would be free, damn it...

He moved his hand to help things along, but it was being pushed back down against the mattress by Spock, who also shot him a warning glance.

"I am in charge of tonight, Jim. You will surrender yourself to me, and when I am done and have plundered your body so effectively, you will never have need of another again. Am I understood?" Spock questioned, his voice calm. No nonsense.

Jim didn't even consider the possibility at that moment of disobeying. He just nodded quickly, licking his lips again, this time in excitement and anticipation. He'd been wanting this for so long now.

Due to his position on the bed, Jim had to keep his feet on the tiptoes to stay balanced, otherwise he would fall forward and his entire weight would be pressed against Spock's leg. Not that Spock currently looked like he would have minded in any case.

"Spock... your clothes need to go, please." Jim told him matter-of-fact. Spock paused, before straightening back to his full height. The young captain watched intently as Spock pulled his black shirt up and over his head, ruffling up his raven silk strands of hair in the process. Jim let out a groan this time as his eyes roamed over Spock's pale, olive skin-toned upper torso. His chest was coated in a thin film of hair, two small apple green nipples that were erected, defined abs and a slight trickle of black hair that dipped down and disappeared into the waistband of Spock's pants.

Which was now sporting a rather impressive bulge.

Jim shivered again, but kept still. Spock dropped his shirt onto the floor, and then proceeded to getting his pants off. This time, as Spock pulled down his zipper and began to slip off his pants, Jim could not sit still, and sat up so that his face was almost level with Spock's groin. He licked his lips in anticipation as Spock's pants pooled at his feet and the Vulcan stepped out of them, kicking them away as he had Jim's boxers.

Jim wanted to laugh when he realized Spock had not worn any underwear at all. But his attention was on the sight before him. Knowing Spock was alien, James had always wondered at what his sex looked like. As he stared, he saw that it looked like... a mound. There was a bit of skin that hung down slightly at the underside of the mound between his legs like a regular sac, and there was dark curly pubic hair at the space between his hipbones. But as Jim watched, he saw there was a slit in the smatter of hair, at first almost invisible in the pale skin.

But not anymore.

As Spock's erection made the penis impossible to remain within the confines of its sheath, Jim saw the slit ripple before a shiny greenish head began to poke through. Jim's eyes remained stuck on the slowly emerging erection, and without thinking he held up a hand towards the extending organ. Before he could make contact, however, Spock's hand on his stopped him. Jim looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Please can I touch you? Please?" Jim begged. Spock couldn't deny him; it would be fucking torture. He wanted to touch Spock like nothing else, and if he was denied, he honestly didn't know what he'd do.

"You may," Spock said, his voice sounding hoarsely. Jim smiled, his eyes falling back to the erection. His fingers reached out and grazed over the head, feeling the heat and wetness of the penis with wonder. He pulled his fingers away, a thin string of a clear film with a gold tint threading onto his skin from Spock's erection. Jim brought the finger up to his face to see better, and looked up at Spock questioningly.

Spock's cheeks and ear tips were flushed a soft green.

"Vulcan physiology causes males to excrete a large quantity of seminal fluid prior to and during coitus from both the sheath and through the pores of the penis."

"So... you guys make your own lube?" Jim grinned. Not giving Spock enough time to answer, Jim's tongue licked over the thick, sap-like semen from his finger. Spock's eyes were fastened onto him as he did so. He expected it to be bitter or salty. But Jim was incredibly surprised when the warm fluid turned out to be incredibly sweet.

It was literally delicious. Like light syrup, almost.

He needed more, now.

By that time, Spock's erection was fully extended and looked similar to a human male's, save for the green tint and double ridges that flared at the underside of his head. Jim also didn't miss the impressiveness of Spock's length and briefly wondered how his body would accommodate such a size. But then those thoughts fluttered away when he suddenly leaned forward and engulfed the stiff, swollen organ into his eager and grateful mouth.

Jim felt Spock's fingers clenching tightly into his now dry hair, an inhuman cry- more like a mewl -erupting from deep within Spock's throat. The warm, soft skin was like a velvety hot iron in Jim's mouth, filling his oral cavity to the brim. He tried to relax his throat and continued to pull Spock in, but was disappointed to see that Spock was too well endowed to fully deep throat. He could continue to try, but would probably end up choking to death.

No matter, maybe no throating, but he wasn't left without other devices. He pulled back and gripped Spock's length in his fist, taking his mouth off to take a deep breath and swallow the warm syrup left inside his mouth. He looked up at Spock, his eyes glazed over with arousal.

"You taste divine," he praised the Vulcan. He kept his eyes on Spock's as he flicked his tongue out and ran up the underside of the green organ, then pressing it flat against the slit on the head. He then popped the head into his mouth and tickled at the underside, the double ridges, with his tongue and slight nips of his teeth. His eyes slid shut and he hummed happily as he continued to work.

Knowing that it was Spock he was pleasuring made his chest heavy with warmth and affection, and he was eager to show more attention to his now Vulcan lover.

God I love him so much... Jim thought to himself. Suddenly, Spock pulled out of Jim's mouth, causing a thin film of semen to drip down Jim's lower lip and chin. He tried to lick it up with his tongue, but only succeeded in smattering it a bit. Spock's hands gripped Jim's shoulders as he was pushed back onto his back.

"As much as I take pleasure in your mouth, it is another orifice I desire to take." He told his captain. Jim nodded vigorously.

"I'm all yours, Spock. Whatever you want," he said breathlessly, his head swirling with a slight high from his arousal.

"Mine," Spock growled in agreement. One hand planted in the mattress to help him keep his balance, the other trailed slowly down Jim's abdomen, leaving behind a tingling path of heat. At last, Spock's hand danced over the towel's knot.

With deft fingers often seen dancing over the science station console, Spock untied the knot and pushed the towel off Jim, baring his stiff erection, dark red with blood and pulsing.

"So beautiful..." Jim thought he heard Spock whisper, as the Science Officer lowered his face and buried his nose in the golden curls of Jim's groin. His penis twitched at the skin-on-skin contact, and as Spock turned his nose to the quivering erection and inhaled deeply, Jim whimpered.

"Spock... don't tease me..." He said, his voice full of want.

"As you wish, my Jim." Spock purred. Jim watched passively as Spock settled upon his knees as he gently pushed Jim's legs up and apart, his ravenous eyes darkening further at the tiny pink bud exposed between Jim's cheeks.

"Mine," Spock murmured to himself.

"Spock," Jim whispered. Spock's eyes found his. "Please."

His dutiful First Officer needed no more encouragement. Lining up his erection at the small opening, Spock shifted slightly. Feeling the slick, blunt pressure at his sensitive bundle of nerves, Jim breathed heavily through his nose and told himself to relax. It had been so long since he'd bottomed, and he'd never had to do so with what Spock was working with...

Almost as if he could feel Jim's apprehensions, Spock stilled himself against Jim, looking down on him with the upmost of compassionate gazes.

"Relax yourself, Jim. Feel me,"

Spock leaned over, his chest pressing against Jim's as his lips lowered upon the blonde's. Lost in the passion, Jim forgot everything around him as he responded fervently to the kisses, his hands going up to wrap around Spock's neck and entwining his hands together behind Spock's head.

"Mmm..." Jim hummed happily as Spock considered to dominate his mouth. His guard slowly fell, his tense legs falling open and lax naturally as he continued to meet Spock's lips with his own.

So he was unprepared for the thick, hot swollen organ thrusting into him.

Eyes shooting open, Jim's back arched upwards and his fingers clutched into the hair at Spock's nape.

"Sp-Spock, oh God, I... mmmm..." Jim grunted as Spock thrust his hip forward in one full swing. In one smooth stroke, he was fully inside James, his pelves aligned with Jim's buttocks. Jim's muscles twitched around Spock's erection, and the young captain couldn't contain the long, loud groan as his body desperately tried to make way for the invasion.

"Spock, Spock, Spock... oh, Spock..." Jim chanted, his voice almost panicky. Spock lowered his full weight onto Jim, holding him still against the mattress but not enough to suffocate or hurt him. He slowly, so slowly, pulled out only to thrust in again.

"Do you feel me, Jim? Do you feel the heat? This is what you cause within me, my t'hy'la. You have stirred this fire within, and now you must help me temper the flames." Spock growled in Jim's ear. Jim squeezed his eyes shut, mortified to find that they had begun to get teary.

Shit. So much for his tough guy persona.

But the pleasure was already overriding the initial burn, and was threatening to short circuit his fucking brain. He could feel Spock's slick semen dripping down between the cleft of his cheeks, and as Spock's thrusts sped up, the meaty, sloppy sounds of Spock's length slamming into him filled the air. Jim turned and buried his head into the crook of Spock's neck, hiding his face from view. As the intense pleasure began to overwhelm him, he didn't want Spock to see the tears that were beginning to slip from beneath his lashes.

"Jim..." Spock moaned. His hands slid down Jim's sides, to under his butt. With a deftness and strength that belied the alien in him, he sat up back onto his haunches, pulling Jim up with him. In the end, Spock ended up sitting Indian style, with Jim's legs draped around him, his behind cradles in Spock's folded legs. Gravity alone forced Jim to fall onto Spock's hardness, making the blunt pressure strike against his prostate dead on.

Jim literally sobbed aloud, quickly burying his face back into the crook of Spock's shoulder. Feeling his hole being stretched and that velvet rod stoking and plundering his most intimate orifice was undoing Jim at his seams rapidly.

"Do not hold back," Spock advised him, pulling Jim's head back to observe him. Jim's eyes were bleary with a sheen of tears, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen from Spock's earlier onslaught.

Spock thought his captain had never looked more ravishing than at that moment.

"Spock, I..." Jim moaned. Spock gripped Jim's hips as Jim's rewrapped his arms around Spock's shoulders.

'Do not look away," Spock warned. "I wish to see you as I pleasure your body."

Jim's eyebrows furrowed deeply, almost as if in pain, as Spock gave an upward thrust, simultaneously pulling Jim down on him.

"Ss-shit..." Jim hiccuped, and took to biting his lower lip as Spock thrust up into him again. Jim's toes began to curl, and he could feel the pressure building up at the base of his spine and curling up in his abdomen. "Oh, fuck. Spock. Damn, I'm gonna cum... shit. Of, fu-fuuuuckk!"

Jim had no choice but to lower his head against his chest as his body gave spurt after spurt of creamy cum, which splattered against Spock's stomach. Spent, Jim slackened against Spock, still holding on as Spock's thrust sped up, riding out his own orgasm. This time, with each piston of Spock's hip, his aim was deadly on Jim's prostate. When Spock's hot milk seeped into Jim, filling him to the brim and beyond- causing the thick cum to drip out of his hole even while still filled with Spock's length - Jim couldn't stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

His whole body was still tingling from the pleasure, but was also lax. His whole body slumped against Spock, spent. His face turned towards Spock's neck, he closed his eyes and sniffled when he felt Spock's warm fingers combing through his hair comfortingly.

"Spock..." Jim tried to say, but his voice was little more than a shaky whisper. He stilled when he felt Spock lift him slightly to remove his penis from his slightly sore hole, and then laid him down on the bed. Spock stretched himself beside Jim, who immediately turned to face Spock, wrapping his arms around him and all but trying to fuse their bodies together.

Jim had always been a cuddle slut, and after a good round of sex his body almost needed the post-coitus comfort like his lungs needed air.

Spock wrapped his warm arms around Jim, lowering his head slightly to bury his nose into Jim's hair. He inhaled.

Almost sleepily, Jim chanced a look up at Spock.

The amber eyes gazed at him, filled with possession, love and adoration.

"Mine," he said, his arms squeezing around Jim's middle for emphasis.

"Yours," Jim assured him.

His reward was a heartfelt, if a bit, sloppy kiss.

Jim hummed in contentment.

Ahahaha! I'm such a perv. And all of this from a scene from some random movie... *shakes head* Oh, and don't worry. That companion piece I promised is in full bloom, so it shouldn't be too long now. I'm also happy to report that I am also simultaneously working on another K/S alternate fic... only in this one... Kirk is a virgin!

Can you believe it? *giggle*

Let's just say, if you think this story is dirty... you ain't seen nothin' yet. *wink*