"Mrs. Hudson! What is that bloody noise?"
"Sherlock, dear, thank goodness you're home! He's been at it for three hours, now, and Mrs. Turner called to complain. I told her I'd do my best to stop it, but he won't listen to a thing I say. Maybe you can speak to him. You can threaten to make him sleep on the couch tonight. That always worked with my husband!"
"Thank you Mrs. Hudson."
Fifteen minutes later
"John, what are you doing?"
"Practicing? Is that what you call it? Women and children are huddled in frightened groups as far north as Grovesnor Square!"
"Well, you should know, Sherlock. You call it practicing!"
"I know how to play the violin, which is much more than can be said for you and that ukulele."
"It's a banjo, Sherlock."
"What does it matter? The point is that it is painful. And it's upsetting Mrs. Hudson."
"That's rich, coming from you, Sherlock."
"Hmph... Please, John. Stop playing… I've a headache."
"Why should I care?"
"Because you're a doctor. And because you're my friend, and I thought that's what friends do."
"Fine…not that being friends has ever stopped you playing the violin at four in the morning. But I will be practicing again tomorrow. I need something to do with all my free time, and I am not going to shoot holes in the wallpaper. Goodnight!"
"You know that playing helps me think."
"It doesn't help anyone else sleep."
"Goodnight John. "
"SHERLOCK! Are those teeth on the sink?"
"Yes, of course. I thought you'd prefer them there than in the kitchen."
"Honestly! I don't see why…"
"Could we talk about it tomorrow, John. I was just on my way to bed. As I said, I have a headache."
"Fine. But I want them gone by the time I shower tomorrow morning."
"Goodnight, John… Now for you: You are coming with me, Ukulele."
Ten Minutes later
"SHERLOCK! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEDROOM DOOR?"
"It was Mrs. Hudson's idea."
"She said I should make you sleep on the couch."
"She…ugh, Sherlock don't you even understand…I mean…Nevermind. Are you going to get out here, and fix the bloody door, so I can sleep tonight?"
"Nope. I am already almost asleep."
"That is nonsense, Sherlock, and you know it. You can be so childish sometimes."
"Well, I'm not going to get that door opened for you tonight."
"Fine. I'm going to Sarah's. See you tomorrow."
"Make sure you choose the lilo. It will be much easier on your back."
"I know how to take care of my back, Sherlock. I'm a doctor! Goodbye!"
"Well, Ukulele, it seems you are better off with me. John might have broken you with that temper of his. In fact, if he had put as much energy into opening his own bedroom door as he did into slamming the front door, he might have managed to get it open. Now that he's gone, you'll have to help me think. Mrs. Hudson still hasn't returned my skull."
Half an hour later
"SHERLOCK HOLMES. IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT BLOODY RACKET, YOUNG MAN, I WILL CALL THE POLICE!"