A/N: I do not own any of the characters or the play A Very Potter Musical. The characters belong to JK Rowling while the play belongs to Starkid productions.
Gah! I am so sorry for the long wait you guys! Cliff notes version: real life got super busy over the last…FOUR YEARS?! Okay, did not mean to leave you hanging for that long! Promise. What had happened was I graduated from college, watched two of my cousins get married, got a job/internship with Disney through the Disney College Program, moved back home, got another job but that just ended a few weeks ago.
I put a poll on my profile a few weeks back for readers to vote on which fanfic they want to see updated next—since I have half my fanfics as works in progress and I'd actually like to complete them before starting new ones. Please go and vote—you can pick five choices so if one of your favorites is an option, you can vote for that one!
Thanks to all of you who stuck with me and the story through this long hiatus. I promise, there'll be more chapters coming up very soon!
(Cedric and Harry stand up and look around. They are in a graveyard, and a cauldron is set up centre-stage.)
Cedric: Where are we?
"It looks like a graveyard," Ron said but everyone shushed him. This was something they did not want to miss.
Harry: I don't know Cedric. Someone punched me and my sense of direction got a little messed up.
Sirius snorted. Even in a life or death situation, that was such a clever line that it had to be acknowledged.
Cedric: Well, it seems clear to me now that the punch ladle was a Portkey and now thanks to you we've both been transported to some mystery location.
Harry: Brilliant Cedric, well, you're a Hufflepuff. Why don't youfindus a way out of this place?
"Very sarcastic aren't you Harry?" Ginny quipped.
"Apparently I am," Harry told her, chuckling at the look she threw him.
Cedric:(Inspecting gravestone)Harry, I think Ifoundsomething! It appears to be a headstone. We must be in some sort of graveyard. Tom Riddle, Mary Riddle, Thomas Riddle. Riddle me this, eh Potter?
Ginny stiffened at the mention of Riddle. Even though this was clearly a play, the writers knew about things that had clearly happened. She didn't know what she'd do if the diary got brought up.
"You okay Ginny?" Harry whispered, noticing her more reserved nature.
"I'm fine," she whispered back. "It's just a little difficult, hearing Riddle's name again."
Harry nodded, understanding instantly. "Do you want to leave the room for this scene?"
"No," she shook her head. "I don't want Malfoy asking questions and I know I don't want to give Snape another reason to be a git,"
Harry nodded and they turned their attention back to the screen.
Harry: Cedric, I don't know about this place. I think we got to get out of here.
Cedric: Harry, you're a Gryffindor, where's your sense of adventure?
"Probably off wrestling a troll," Ron quipped. Harry groaned as he saw Sirius' face pale and knew he had some explaining to do.
Harry: God! Cedric, you're so annoying! Okay? You're like this guy that's just around all the time when I don't need a guy around. You're the spare guy all the time. The spare dude. You're such a spare!
"I have a bad feeling about this," Cho whispered, watching the screen with dread filling her veins.
(Enter Death Eaters, Bellatrix and Quirrelemort with turban on)
Voldemort: Kill the spare!
Quirrel: Avada Kedavra!
Cedric:(Collapsing to the ground)So many regrets, I'm dead!
The room was silent. No one knew how to take the knowledge that Cedric would die.
"Maybe it won't happen," Hermione said gently. "I mean, a lot of this stuff is clearly used for artistic license."
"Yeah," Cedric gave a small smile. "Quirrell was in your guys' first year, right?"
"Right," Harry nodded, feeling a little better at the thought that this would be completely fake and that he wouldn't lead someone he was considering a friend to his death. "Besides, this Triwizard Tournament thing hasn't even happened!"
Dumbledore and Snape, however, exchanged looks. They knew the tournament was indeed happening and that it was now crucial to make sure Mr. Diggory would survive.
Harry: Oh my wizard god!
Quirrel: Not so fast, Petrificus Totalus!
Sirius and Remus stiffened at the thought of Harry in the hands of a Death Eater, let alone someone who had Voldemort on the back of their skull.
Harry: Professor Quirrel, you just killed Cedric!
Quirrel: Not I Potter, but perhaps you'd like to see who did. He's dying to see you.
(Quirrel takes off the turban and spins around to reveal Voldemort's face to the audience)
"That would be my reaction to seeing someone with a face on the back of their head," Ginny nodded.
"I didn't scream the first time I saw it," Harry said and everyone looked at him. "What?"
"Potter, you do know it's not normal for people to have faces on the back of their skulls right?" Malfoy asked.
"Of course! It's just I wasn't going to scream in front of Voldemort right?"
Ron, Ginny, Cho and Hermione flinched, causing Harry to roll his eyes in annoyance. It was just a name! He was happy to see though that Cedric didn't flinch—not knowing about the older boy's decision to not flinch at Voldemort's name anymore.
If he's going to kill me, I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of controlling my fear, Cedric thought.
Voldemort: Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, it's good to see you again.
Death Eater 1: The cauldron is ready my Lord.
Harry: Cauldron; what are you guys going to do, eat me? Gross!
"Actually, I think it might be worse," Remus stated with a growing dread.
Voldemort: As delicious a dish as I think you'd make Potter, I'd need a stomach of my own to digest you. I haven't got one of those… yet.
(Quirrel steps into the cauldron. Snape dressed as a Death Eater steps forward. He cuts off his hand and drops it into the cauldron.)
Snape:(sounds of pain)It's working! Detention Potter!
"Was that Snape?" Ron muttered to Hermione.
"Professor Snape, Ronald! And yes, I think it was," she responded, trying to keep her voice down so that said professor wouldn't hear her.
Harry: Detention? This guy's almost as big an asshole as Snape.
"IT IS SNAPE!"
"Merlin Ron, I'm right here," Harry winced rubbing his ear.
(Voldemort steps out of the cauldron, along with Quirrel. Voldemort's plan has worked.)
Silence filled the room at the thought of Voldemort returning to his true form. No one knew exactly how to react—knowing that if this was true, it would end the peace the Wizarding world had been enjoying for fourteen long years.
Voldemort: Hahahahaha! Finally!
Voldemort:When I was a boy
"Why is Voldemort singing?" Sirius asked, looking at the screen in fear. Whatever these muggles were on was something he was sure he did not want.
An orphan boy
I'd love to move my feet
I'd hear a tune and start to swoon
My life would seem complete
"That's…nice, I guess," Hermione frowned, trying to picture a young Voldemort dancing. It wasn't a pretty picture.
The other boys would laugh and jeer
But I'd catch 'em tappin their toes
Cause when I'd start to sway, they'd get carried away,
And oh, how the feeling grows
I'd take my foot
My little foot
And with that foot
Oh, how I'd start to shake
I'd take two feet
Two tiny feet
Hey look! That's neat!
It's coming true
I finally get to dance again! Wahoo!
To dance again
I've been waiting all these years
To dance again
Now, at once, a chance appears
To hear the beat, so on your feet
It's time to dance again!
No one knew what to say throughout that whole bit. While it was a very nice song, the fact that it was being sung by someone portraying Voldemort was a little too strange for words.
Voldemort:C'mon Potter! Imperio!
(Harry begins to dance, puppet-like)
Ginny stiffened again—not liking the idea of Harry having someone control his body like Riddle did to her.
Voldemort: You take your foot
Your little foot
Hey look! Your foot!
See how it starts to shake
Quirrel: Ooh try his arms!
How 'bout a twirl!
He's like a girl!
"Merlin he's strange!" Ron piped up, effectively killing the tension in the room.
"You know, they did ruin what could have been a very tense scene," Hermione said and Cho nodded.
"Yeah, well I'm fine without tension thank you!" Sirius told her. It was nerve wracking enough to see someone put the Imperious on his godson just to make him dance. He didn't want to think what else could have been done.
I finally get to dance again with you!
Voldemort & (Quirrel): To dance again!
I've (you've) been waiting all these years
To dance again
Now at once a chance appears
It's lovely swaying, and the music's playing
Come on! Let's dance again!
Voldemort: Everybody now!
"Please tell me this is going to be over soon," Malfoy sneered. The song had grown slightly tiresome and it was still going on?!
Death Eaters: I take my foot!
(Voldemort: You take your foot)
My little foot!
(Voldemort: Take that little foot!)
And oh my foot!
(Voldemort: Lemme hear it now!)
Look how it starts to shake
Oh, Voldy's back
(Voldemort: Hello world!)
For the attack
(Voldemort: Im going to getcha!)
He'll take over the world, its true
But first there's something he's got to do
All:He'll dance again!
He's been waiting all these years
To dance again
Now at once a chance appears
Voldemort:Everybody make way for a pas de bourre
All:It's time to dance
It's time to dance
It's time to dance again!
"OH THANK YOU MERLIN!"
"RONALD! THAT WAS MY EAR!" Hermione screamed, rubbing her left ear as it had been an unfortunate victim of Ron's scream.
(Bellatrix Lestrange runs forward, throws off her black cloak and falls to the ground in a reverent bow)
Bellatrix Lestrange: My Dark Lord! You look fabulous!
"Okay, they got Bella down to a tee," Sirius stated with a bit of edge in his voice.
"You know her?" Harry asked, turning to his godfather.
"She's my cousin," Sirius told him and Harry didn't ask anymore questions.
Voldemort: Bellatrix Lestrange. It is great to have you back
Bellatrix Lestrange: Oh my Liege! Now it's going to be like the old days when we did nothing but torture and murder! It was a pain without you.
"Yep, that's Bellatrix," Remus nodded. He had met the former Black once or twice while they were at Hogwarts. They were memorable meetings to be sure.
Voldemort: Well I'm never going again! 'Cause I've conquered death, baby! And my first pleasure will be to KILL Harry Potter! Then next to take over the Ministry of Magic and rule the world - FOR ALL TIME!
Bellatrix Lestrange: And youwillmy lord! But not yet! For now we must stick to the plan. We blame Potter's murder on Quirrel. So that your return may remain a secret.
Quirrel: I'm sorry! What was that about me going to Azkaban for Potter's murder?
"You know, that's actually better than what did happen to him," Harry said, turning to Ron and Hermione.
"Azkaban isn't a day at the beach, mate," Ron told him.
"The man died Ron!"
Voldemort: No! No Quirrel that – ah. That came out wrong! It's not like that.
Quirrel: Isn't it?
Bellatrix Lestrange: Oh silence slave! Crucio!
(Quirrel collapses to the ground in pain)
Voldemort: Oh, no, no, no!
"I'm pretending just for this scene that this guy isn't portraying the worst wizard ever known to man," Ron whispered to Hermione.
"Why?" Hermione whispered back.
"Because otherwise I have to admit that I'm feeling slightly bad for You-Know-Who and that just isn't happening."
Bellatrix Lestrange:What's the matter? He's your pawn- you are his queen! It is an honour to serve the Dark Lord NO MATTER WHAT THE TASK!
(Voldemort walks over to Quirrel and bends down)
Voldemort: Are you alright?
Quirrel: Did you really know the whole time you would blame Potter's murder on me?
Voldemort: I knew.
(Voldemort stretches out a hand)
Quirrel: (Recoils) Don't touch me!
"How is he still alive?" Snape muttered to Dumbledore. "Releasing someone from a possession normally kills the victim. We were lucky enough that wasn't the case with Ms. Weasley."
"I think this is what muggles call 'artistic license'," Dumbledore told him.
Voldemort: But things have changed over the last year, I feel different for you now!
Quirrel: I don't care!
"Neither do we!" Cedric called out. "You're still framing a guy for murder!"
"Um, Ced?" Cho raised an eyebrow. "It's You-Know-Who. He's done worse."
Voldemort: Well I wish there was another way. But I've got to take over the world!
Bellatrix Lestrange:Death Eaters, take him away!
(The Death Eaters drag Quirrel offstage away to Azkaban.)
Bellatrix Lestrange:And now you what you waited for for so long
Bellatrix Lestrange:Your chance to kill Harry Potter!
Voldemort: Yes! Kill Potter!
"He's faced you three times and lived," Ron chuckled. "I don't think you'll get him this time."
"What?" Ron turned to his red faced best friend. "Am I wrong?"
(Harry picks up the ladle and Cedric.)
Potter: You won't kill me today Voldemort- but I tell you what? I'll get you some punch!
"Nice!" Ginny chuckled, able to relax now that Voldemort was off the screen.
(Harry and Cedric are transported back to school. Death Eaters exit, and Hogwarts students plus Dumbledore enter.)
Ginny: Oh my Rowling! What happened Harry Potter?
Dumbledore: Harry, what the hell are you doing over here? You missed the raffle!
(Snape runs in, throwing off his Death Eater cloak.)
Snape: What happened in the graveyard?
Harry: It's - it's Voldemort! It's Voldemort! He's back!
"Well, that's an interesting way to end a scene," Remus said. He truly hoped that this wasn't a prophecy of some kind. He did not want Voldemort back in this world.
"It looks like it's the end of the first act," Hermione said. "Do we want to take a quick break?"
"Bathroom break!" Ginny declared and ran to the nearest one, which thankfully was across the hall from where they were watching the play. Harry and Ron snuck off the kitchen, where they grabbed some snacks—after being instructed by Hermione of course.
"All set?" Sirius asked after everyone settled back in. "Okay, let's see what Act two has for us."