Disclaimer: "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" is owned by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill. Other than the narrator of this story, not one character used here is mine.


September 3rd, 2009, Whirl Islands:

While running through all the tunnels and gaps that this cave provided, I remembered what it was that got me in this situation. So about a year ago, I witnessed a battle between a Nerd and a Critic, during something called Celebrity Deathmatch, which as the name implies is a fight to the death. I stopped the fight, and as a way of gratitude, both the Nerd and the Critic gave me their personal e-mail addresses. But although I saved the two of them, they still had this urge to kill one another. If I were to befriend the both of them, a moment will come that I would have to pick sides. To avoid that, when they gave me their info, I gave them a false e-mail address. I'll never contact them, and they'll never be able to contact me. Little did I know that I was to meet the two of them, and many others, again, as some mad doctor had brainwashed an entire group of self-proclaimed critics to start taking over the entertainment industry, and I was asked to help put a group of people together to fight them. They stopped wanting to take over the industry, and said doctor was arrested. But that was when the Critic remembered me giving him a false e-mail address, which angered everyone else as well (because I would lecture them on how to be better people, yet lie to them myself).

So that's what brought me on this island. Although island is the wrong word, as it was more some kind of a mountain that stuck out of the ocean, and I was in a cave, being chased by both the critics and the people I had assembled to fight them. This is what you get from trying to help people. Unfortunately, I was suffering from a sleep deprivation, which slowed me down too much. I would lie down to sleep, but then I risk being caught by these people. I could try and find a place to hide, but I feared that I might not find one in time. And even if I did, it is possible that I snore and I'm not aware of it, so I'd give myself away. This was the moment when I, quite literally, found an answer.

Before me, there was something that looked like a phone booth. Since I was that tired, my sight was blurred, so I couldn't be sure of what it really was, but its shape and size made it seem like a phone booth. The really weird part wasn't the fact that it was blue and not made out of glass, but since this island is uninhabited, why would there be anything like a phone booth here? Whatever the reason, if my chasers were to see this, they'd immediately think I'd be stupid too hide in this because it sticks out too much. As such, they'd think I'd have ignored it and not look for me here. It was a gamble, but my mind wasn't up for trying to think of alternatives, so I opened its doors and entered. Upon entering, I immediately turned back to the doors. I kept them close together, so it would look like they were shut from the outside, but were actually leaving enough room for me to peek through. Doing so, I saw my chasers gaining on this booth and... pass right by it, as though they didn't even see it. This, I thought, was funny. They would make a lot of remarks on how several film directors, story writers and game developers are too stupid to do anything, yet they wouldn't even notice a phone booth on an uninhabited island? But I was too tired to give it any more thought. After a while, all my chasers had passed by, after which I shut these doors completely and decided to lean myself against the back of this booth and let myself fall asleep. As I did so, I had one split second to realized one mistake I made. As I was in a hurry, I didn't take my time to see how deep this booth went, so I underestimated the distance between where I stood and the back of this booth. So as I let myself fall, there wasn't a wall to catch me, so I fell flat on the floor, hitting my head hard.