This story is dedicated to One Man Writing Games because she hates Kogan. Severely. IRONY. Oh and she is posting a companion fic for her AMAZINGAMAZING story "Why I'm Home" (ht tp:/ /www. fanfiction. net/s/6100115/1/) and it will be posting on Halloween (that's what she told me, anyway) and if you know what's healthy then you will go and read it RIGHT NOW AND review it because it is SO good with NOT EVEN CLOSE to enough reviews AND SHE DESERVES SO MUCH MORE THAN SHE HAS SO DO IT NOW. NOW NOWNOWNOWNOW. And alert it so you get the amazingness coming up on SUNDAY THE 31ST AKA HALLOWEEN. COMPANION FIC TO "WHY I'M HOME" BY ONE MAN WRITING GAMES LINK IS UP THERE. Take that, skimmers.

No actually I'm posting this today because the date is 10/10/10 and I thought that should get some recognition. So here's a crappy Kogan story I pulled out of my butt when RyDeNiSlOvE said she hopes Culprit, who is gay beyond belief, never ever drives. Because this is what would happen. Enjoy.

There's a lot of freedom to driving; freedom you can't have when you're stuck with just a permit. I gained that freedom two weeks ago, and I've gotta say, it's pretty fucking nice. But with freedom comes responsibility, and that includes the responsibility of other keeping other passengers in the car safe. It's hard to do that when said passengers are annoying and whiny.

"Logan, how long is this going to take?" Kendall complains for just about the millionth time.

"I told you already," I growl, fingers clenching around the wheel, "it'll be about an extra ten minutes."

"But you told me it was only going to take ten minutes in all!" he whines, screwing his eyes shut and hitting his head back against his seat. I sigh somewhat irately, wanting to close my eyes in exasperation but deciding that it wouldn't be the best choice.

"Well, I didn't plan for traffic."

"Your mom didn't plan for traffic," he retorts dully, and I roll my eyes, grinning anyway. He's impatient, but it'll all be worth it when we get there. I swear, this place has the best pizza in the history of ever. I haven't told him this, however. It's a surprise. That's why he's so riled up. He loves surprises, second to Carlos. That boy... I sigh, shaking my head. He is one little ball of energy, he is.

I did tell Kendall it was going to be ten minutes max, but the traffic site lied to me and now we're in one hell of a jam. We're barely rolling forward at two miles an hour- in fact, no, it won't even register on the speedometer. The wait is killing Kendall, and he won't keep quiet for more than two minutes.

"Change into that lane. It's going faster."

"It won't do anything," I respond evenly. "The second I do this one will start moving again."

"Tch," he scoffs, turning back to stare out the window at the lucky cars next to us who get to move at, wow, five miles an hour! But in a second that lane slows down and ours starts moving again. I refrain from saying something smug to him, though, because I know it will get me nowhere.

Besides, after another thirty or so feet we slow to a stop again. Miraculously, Kendall doesn't say a word. In fact, he decides it would be better to occupy himself with something else. And what better thing to do than distract me from getting us to the infamous surprise?

He sighs first, then glances out his window. He looks at me. I avert my gaze, staring out my side window to avoid any sort of contact with him. That changes completely, though, when I feel his hand in a place I really don't need to be feeling it right now. I swat him away from my waist, but he returns and swiftly slips his hand up underneath my shirt to deftly pinch at a nipple, and as much as I'd love to have sex with him right now, I'm kind of in the middle of driving.

"Kendall," I warn him threateningly, glancing at him out the corner of my eye. He grins playfully, groping at my chest, scooting over on the edge of his seat so he can get closer.

"Eyes on the road," he responds, tracing warm fingertips across my skin, leaning close enough to mouth at my jaw right beneath my ear.

"Kendall, I'm driving!" I hiss, trying to scoot away but ending up leaning in unconsciously, craning my neck slightly as he begins sucking lightly at it. His fingers twist at one of my nipples and I take in a sharp inhalation, trying to focus.

"I know," he responds after a moment, still lipping at the side of my neck. "This is a test."

I force myself to lean away from him, breaking contact between his lips and my neck. The car in front of me starts crawling forward but stops after about a foot. Kendall's hand travels back down my torso to my crotch, where, I regret to say, my arousal is stirring. I see him smirk at me out the corner of my eye as he rubs firmly at the spot, the sensation sending a shuddering gasp startling up my throat.

"Kendall, stop," I gasp desperately, starting to get a little scared. The car in front of me starts moving again and it takes a few seconds for it to register and for me to actually do anything about it. I can't have late reactions when driving, it's a terrible hazard. Kendall doesn't seem to care.

"Come on, Logan," he presses, rubbing more harshly down on my rapidly growing erection. "You need to master your driving skills."

"I just got my license!" I cry, trying to shove him away but only succeeding in jerking my hips harder into his touch.

"Logan, come on. We're in traffic. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh, I don't know," I mutter bitingly. "Maybe we could get in an accident?"

"At two miles an hour," Kendall agrees, kneading his palm and forcing a high-pitched whine out of me.

"Kendall, I'm- nnh- serious," I plead, voice breaking on the last word. I'm seriously starting to get scared. The car in front of me stops and I almost have to slam on the breaks to stop us again. My hips jerk up into his touch and I feel an almost full blown hard on pressing against the front of my suddenly unbearably tight jeans. "Kendall, stop."

"Calm down, god," he says, unclipping his seatbelt so he can lean down and mouth at the ridiculously large bulge I'm sporting. I have to refrain from tilting my head back and shutting my eyes, because the second I lose focus, bam- we're dead. I don't at all find this funny, but Kendall seems to by the way he's chuckling lightly as he frees my erection from its confines, stroking lightly a few times.

"Kendall, I swear, we're gonna fucking die-"

"No we're not, shut up." I shut my mouth, thoroughly distressed, trying to ignore the tingling anticipation as I feel a bead of precum slipping down my shaft. No, this is beyond not funny. It's terrifying. He ducks down and wraps his lips around the head, sucking lightly and teasingly. I resign myself to the fact that he's not gonna let up any time soon and decide to try to get this over with as quickly as possible. Whining, I buck my hips up slightly, trying my best to keep my eyes on the road at the same time. The car moves again and I reluctantly try putting a steady pressure on the gas pedal, something that gets us moving at a much slower rate than everyone else, but at least it's safe. Or the safest I can manage. It stops again and I almost crash into it. Exhaling shakily, I will myself to pay close attention, despite what Kendall's doing to me. I swear. I'm just getting off at the next exit and pulling over-

I hear myself let out a loud moan as he begins getting right down to it, bobbing his head and sucking as if his life depends on it. My chest begins rising and falling more rapidly and for a split second I feel my eyes fluttering shut-

They snap open again at the sound of a blaring horn from behind, finding the other car ahead by like ten feet. A car from the lane to my right takes the space before I can react and I huff in annoyance, the sound turning into a sharp whine as Kendall shoves himself down all the way, nose in my pubes, throat muscles contracting around my needy member.

"K-Kendall, this isn't gonna work," I try to get out, willing him to please, please just stop. He doesn't, instead deciding it would be a good idea to reach over and start fondling my balls. I'm practically hyperventilating by now, half from arousal and half from terror. I try to take deep breaths, focus, but all I can do it gasp and splutter and pay the best attention I can to the car in front of me, and nothing else. Move forward, stop. Move forward, stop. That's all it is, it's so simple. So why can't I do it?

Groaning half in exasperation and half in burning fuck yes, I shift my gaze to outside my window, immediately cringing. The woman in the next car over is staring at me, confusion sewn into her knitted brow, just- staring. It's insanely uncomfortable, because I am probably the most freakishly opposed to PDA person in the world, and there's a woman in the next car over fucking staring at me as my jerk of a boyfriend gives me the most inappropriate blowjob ever. Has there ever been more truth to the phrase, "I need new friends"? Yeah.

"Fuck," I gasp, arching up into the wet warmth of Kendall's mouth as he pulls back and starts his rhythm again, coughing around my dick as spit dribbles down the underside. The bastard, he knows that turns me on more than anything. Now the woman is giving me a horrid dirty look, pulling forward pointedly, taking the spot in front of me that's inevitably reopened. God, I just-

"K-Kendall, st- s- ngh, don't stop," I find myself moaning senselessly. What the fuck am I talking about, if there were anything he needs to do right now, it's stop. He sure is doing a good job doing everything exactly right, whereas normally he'd be teasing the hell out of me right now. I swear, he's such an asshole.

I decide to try completely and only focusing on the car in front of me, and nothing else. Not the incredible sensations racing up and down my spine, not the familiar tightening in my balls signaling the beginnings of an orgasm, not fucking Kendall and his heaven-sent tongue. Just the back of the car, and the brake lights. Pull forward. Stop. Pull forward. Stop. Moans caught in the back of my throat, slipping out almost unnoticed. Kendall works his best, bobbing his head the fastest and sucking the hardest I've ever known him to. Really, I wish we weren't in a life-or-death situation right now, because I'd be quite enjoying this if I weren't so scared out of my mind right now. He gives a particularly hard suck as he pulls back, lingering on the head for just a little longer before coming off with a wet pop and sitting back up, my cock still hanging out of my pants and throbbing unbearably with the sudden lack of stimulation. I'm panting, eyes on the car ahead, and without Kendall I'm suddenly able to concentrate just a little better, but not by much, because. Well. I'm fucking turned on and nothing is happening anymore.

"Kendall, what the fuck." Pull forward. Stop. Gasping for air. Precum is leaking out the tip and mixing with the saliva coated around my member. Kendall is pulling out his own dick, stroking it fully and leaning his head back, groaning softly in the back of his throat. He slits an eye open at my voice and grins.

"Thought you wanted me to stop."

"K- I- I don't even." I swallow hard, fighting the urge to reach down and finish myself off. I need to be mature. I need to keep us from dying. Kendall shrugs.

"It was turning me on and I couldn't stand it anymore. So here I am." He strokes himself more fully and quickly, beginning to breathe more heavily. I have to admit, it's kind of turning me on. Which really sucks, because I need to be focusing right now and not jacking off. God, this whole thing is just horrible.

"Kendall," I whine, not knowing entirely what I'm complaining about. Kendall moans softly, shifting slightly next to me.

"Do that again," he mumbles, eyes shut. I swallow a sound of indignance and follow the car ahead of me.

"No fucking way."

"C-Come on, Logie; moan for me." When I remain silent, he adds, "Maybe I'll finish you off if you do."

Purely for the sake of getting off and nothing else, I start making all the noise I possibly can, whining his name and pitching my voice higher and more strained. It seems to work, because his eyebrows furrow and his chest begins to heave. "God, Logan," he grunts, hips jutting up into his hand, his face reddening. My dick throbs needily and I can't resist anymore; reaching down with one hand, despite the dangers of taking one hand off the wheel (especially at a time like this), I start stroking desperately, my noises heightened by the explosion of fuck.

"K-Kendall, god, p-please..." Laughing lightly, he reaches over and knocks my hand away, taking over with his.

"Hands on the wheel," he murmurs, groaning slightly as he arches into his hand, building up a rhythm on me and making my breath that much more elusive. The sloppy movement of his hand combined with his ragged breath puffing out into the air is enough to send sharp sparks of bliss racing through my system and I gasp, hips jutting forward almost violently.

"Oh, god, I'm gonna come!" I cry breathlessly, feeling myself slip away from focus, fear leaving with the blinding pleasure of my orgasm. Kendall seems to read my worrisome mind and leans down, capturing my dick in his lips and sucking harshly while jacking off what he isn't getting to. I thrust desperately once and crash into a shuddering orgasm, my eyes sealing shut as my head slams back into the head restraint behind me. I'm coming hard into Kendall's mouth, utter ecstasy sealing itself over me, and I'm losing it as I fall into chaotic-

My body jerks to the side and hits the door hard from the impact of- Kendall slamming full force into me? My orgasm breaks off and I completely forget about it as my whirling thoughts frantically try to rearrange themselves, rapidly analyzing the situation as I register momentum and impact and-

We've been hit.


"My car!" I wail, fingers pulling mercilessly at my poor hair. All I can focus on is the gaping indent in the side of the car, molded into the shape of the other car's headlight, just where the door meets the rest of the car. It's crunched in so that it won't open, and Kendall had to get out through my door. Lucky for us, the car on our left stopped in time to avoid collision and is happily cruising along while we sit on the outside shoulder of the freeway. Kendall looks positively mortified, horror etched onto his reddened face. I'm so fucking mad at him right now. I can barely contain myself from going over and knocking him into oblivion right now, and I think he knows it. That's probably why he's keeping his distance. And not speaking. And really just trying to fade into the background.

The other driver, the one who hit us, is completely convinced that the whole thing is her fault. She's sixteen, a young driver. In fact, she looks barely sixteen, so I wouldn't be surprised if her license situation is exactly the same as mine. Every time I manage to calm her down to tell her that no, it wasn't her fault, I was just being a reckless driver, she takes one look at the giant dent and goes off again. The fact that I'm still lamenting over it isn't helping.

"I'm so, so sorry, oh my god, I didn't mean to, I swear, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't even- Look, it really, really isn't your fault," I grit through clenched teeth, and Kendall flinches out the corner of my eye. "You didn't know I would swerve off course like that, you weren't ready to react. It's totally, completely my fault, don't worry." I don't blame her for not believing me, because the more I talk, the angrier I get. Kendall Knight is dead.

"Oh god, I should have been paying attention to where I was going!" she cries in distress, making my annoyance spark even higher.

"I swear to god, it's not. Your. Fault," I seethe, trying hard not to shoot Kendall a murderous glare. It doesn't matter. He's already digging his fingers into his scalp. The girl seems scared into silence, and I sigh. "Really. Honestly. Stop crying over it and let's get this over with."

"I'll pay every cent of it!" she bursts out, and I roll my eyes. She seems desperate, like it'll be the end of the world if I don't let her. Well fine, if she really wants to pay for it so bad-

"Okay!" I say over-enthusiastically. "Sure! Go ahead! I mean, it's not like-"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, pulling me away from the girl, who actually looks like she might cry by this point. My eyes glare daggers into Kendall's as he leads me out of earshot of her, holding up a finger in a gesture of, "Just a minute, sorry, go on with your life, don't mind me, I'll just be getting mauled by my boyfriend over here, nothing to worry about." Because that's what's gonna happen.

"Logan," he says in a rush, like it'll solve something somehow.

"You're fucking dead," I hiss menacingly, and I swear I mean it. It occurs to me in the back of my mind that I'm way out of my mind, freaking out like this, but, of course, why should I care? Kendall did something stupid, I told him not to, I told him, he did it anyway, we almost died, he wrecked my car.

"I know," he winces, "but you can't take it out on her. It wasn't her fault." He glances over at her in worry and swallows hard as he looks back at me, the next words seemingly difficult for him to say- forced. "Look, you can destroy me or castrate me or bury me alive or torture me or whatever you're gonna do when we get home, but for now, just try not to explode here, okay? Try to keep it in until we're in a nice safe secluded spot where you can dispose of me where no one will see so the police won't get you, okay?" He tries an attempt at a grin, but it doesn't work because he's way too fucking nervous. Which he should be. Just...

Okay, I am not going to feel bad for him. Never.


The thing is, though, that he looks really scared behind his eyes, the kind of fear you get from thrill, or surprise, or getting in a car accident when you least expect it after you've been told no. He's not scared for himself, though.

He's scared because I could have gotten hurt.


"Kendall," I sigh, mimicking his rush from earlier. "I'm- not gonna kill you." And that was really hard to say. But I can feel myself calming down. Slowly, gradually, because I'm still really really pissy, but I'm not feeling so violent anymore. Which is a good sign. He looks surprised.

"Really? Because I totally deserve it and-"

"Do you really think I'd be able to stay mad at you for that long?" His eyes spark.

"So you're not mad at me?"

"I never said that," I snap, glowering at him. He cringes and I sigh again. "But I can see that you regret it, so you get to live. This time." He grins and shakes his head.

"Logan, you're too nice."

"Don't thank me yet."

Before he can ask what that's supposed to mean, I'm turning around and returning to the poor victim of Kendall's stupidity. She still looks like she's ready to burst into tears, and now that I'm relatively calmed down, I find it in myself to smile.

"Hey, seriously, don't worry, okay? We'll just get everything figured out and it'll be fine. I'm not mad," I add, but I'm not sure she believes me. She just nods shakily and I look back at Kendall, who definitely looks more at ease. Still wants to know what I meant by that last bit, though. Oh well; he'll just have to deal with it. Besides, he doesn't have to wait all that long to find out- at all. I manage to keep myself from smirking evilly as I tell the girl, "In fact, you don't even have to pay for it, alright? I've got it all handled, I swear. Okay?"

Kendall's face pales in the corner of my eye.


It takes another good five minutes of arguing until I finally convince the girl that she doesn't have to pay. Even then, she leaves me with a fucking check for a hundred. Who has that kind of money, to just give away? Whatever, Kendall's still not out of anything.

"Logan," he says with a heavy dread once the girl is gone. "Logan, you can't seriously be trying to- like- I can't."

"Sure you can," I wave off lightly, eyebrows raised in condemnation as the next words roll out in condescending innocence. "I mean, it was your fault."

"But-" And he just cuts off, because he knows I'm right. "You're evil."

"I know."

"When did Logan Mitchell turn into something so heartless?" Kendall muses, face still white in shock. "Can't even show his boyfriend a little mercy."

"I still love you, asshole- I just can't let you go free after something like that."

"Never thought I'd see the day: Logan turns into my mother."

"Your mom would be doing the same thing; I'm just giving her a little help."

"Woah- you're not gonna tell her how it happened, are you?" he gasps with panic.

"No, never," I assure him. "But you're still paying every cent for the damage."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, asshole."

Horrible ending. OOPS. Kendall will be paying EVERY PENNY. EVERY PENNY. Or cent whatever Kyle said penny so I said penny. Cent is a dumb word. IN A BRAND NEW BIG TIME RUSH JAMES KISSES LOGAN I MEAN CAMILLE. SORRY THE PROMO IS ON. I WISH IT WAS LOGAN. DAMMIT.