Characters/Pairings- Tenth Doctor, and a little look into the minds of his adopted family
Summary- On this, the tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year of this millenium, it is only fitting that we pay tribute to the Tenth incarnation of the greatest hero of all Time...
You were my new world. I won't lie and say that before you I had nothing, because it wouldn't be true. I had my mum and my mates and Mickey. But you... you came and you took my old world and you made it shining and gleaming and new. You healed up all the cracks and patched over the rough places and showed me things I never dreamed of.
I like to think that maybe I healed up some of your cracks, as well.
When I was lost- or was it you who was lost? I was never sure- I thought I couldn't survive. But you know what? I learned how to be on my own. I learned about strength and darkness, and then I came back for you, when the time was right.
But of course, it still wasn't right. Not for us. We weren't a perfect fit, and I think I knew that from the moment you appeared in a burst of light. We both wanted it, so much, but...
Maybe in another time, in another life. Maybe if I'd been a Time Lady or you'd been human.
And you know what? Now you are. You're here and you're human and you're with me. You're rough around the edges again, a little more like the Oncoming Storm and a little less like my wandering angel, but we're working on that. You love pears now, which still makes me giggle every time. So here we are, bouncing around the universe in a strange sort of time machine grown from that little piece of the TARDIS the original you slipped in my pocket, with our first child on the way. I think we'll name her Susan.
You found me, Doctor. And no matter how long we live, I'll never, ever forget you.
I can't tell you how long I resented you. You stole my girl. I mean, the other you was the one who whisked her away, but I hadn't really lost her until you came along, with your pretty-boy face and your smooth talking.
But you know what? I learned from you. Mickey Smith was just a mechanic, just a loser, until the Doctor came blasting in and changed his world.
I grew out of that. I fought Cybermen and became a soldier, a defender of the Earth. I met my wife and changed the world.
You taught me, Doctor. And no matter how long I live, I'll never, ever forget you.
I don't love you anymore. Well, a part of me does. I don't think anybody really stops loving you. But I don't love you in the same way anymore. I love you as a friend, as the man who introduced me to my husband and as the person who showed me who I could be.
You gave me a chance to see the universe, and through that, I saw what I could do. I learned how to be the very best I could be. Because of you, I'm a better doctor, a better soldier, and a better citizen/defender of the Earth. Who knows what I'd have been if I'd stayed behind?
You inspired me, Doctor. And no matter how long I live, I'll never, ever forget you.
Oh, Doctor. My Doctor. Three faces I've seen you wear, and honestly, I think I'll miss this old/young man the most.
The day you pulled my Luke out from the path of a car, then waved goodbye before disappearing with a hum of ancient engines... I know you died that day. Oh, I'm sure you lived on. I'm sure you're out there with a sonic screwdriver in your breast pocket and some new Enterprising Earth Girl by your side. But as far as I'm concerned, the Doctor is dead.
You were my miracle, you know that? I saw some wonderful things and some terrible things during my travels with you. And of course, you always disappeared. But then, you always came back.
I wonder, now, if you're ever coming back again?
I hope so. I fear so. It won't be the same with some new face. You were absolutely mad, dashing about in your bright red trainers with Rose by your side, but I loved you for it. And I'm not the only one. I still speak to Martha and Mickey, occasionally, and Jack is a pretty regular presence (though honestly, he's not the best influence on Luke). But still... you're gone. None of us have seen you since you made those farewells across time. We compared notes. We know what you did. We know you were saying goodbye. We know you were leaving again.
I wish you luck.
I wish you would come back.
I don't like the thought of you out there, all alone (probably not alone, but you know what they say about new friends and old friends- silver and gold). You have a whole family here on Earth. We've all adopted you, and we're worried and we miss you. We wish you would come back. Please come back, Doctor.
You left me, Doctor. And no matter how long I live, I'll never, ever forget you.
Would I trade meeting you for a normal (read: mortal) life?
Honestly, probably not, Doctor. Aside from the fact that you're damn gorgeous, you're also the thing that keeps me going, through all the long years. Because I know that my life is going to be long, so long. And I might not have a head for calculus, but I figure it's pretty likely that I'll run into you at least a few more times before it's finally my time (if that day ever comes, at least).
Before Rose changed me, before you dragged me off to the year 100 trillion, I was just a con man and a galactic slut. And then somehow I got all shifted around inside.
You changed me, Doctor. And no matter how long I live, I'll never, ever forget you.
I tell you something, Spaceman, next time I see you, I'll wring your skinny neck! Take my memories, will you?
I told you, didn't I? I told you to just leave me. The odds were against me, I know, but I saw better than you. Like I told you: that little spark of humanity. It gave me insights you never could guess at. There was a chance- tiny, improbable, but it was there. And even if that chance failed, I'd rather have died like that- with you, on the TARDIS- than to have it all ripped away. It would have been better than going back to that emptiness.
You're a right selfish bastard, I think. Because you know what? In the end, I won.
It was right after the divorce. I was a wreck. It felt like just one more person in my life was abandoning me- which was ridiculous, because to the best of my knowledge I'd never really been abandoned by anybody. Never had a lot of friends, and aside from family deaths, no one ever deliberately left me. But I was still so sad when Shaun left me, not because of the divorce so much, but because it felt like being kicked while I was down. I took to walking around the park at night.
Stupid, of course. Because what happens in the city at night? You get mugged. I was stabbed right in the gut.
In the event of massive physical trauma, the human mind goes into shock to protect the psyche. But it didn't exactly work with me, because underneath my conscious mind was that second layer. All that Time Lord knowledge came pouring out, activating the bits of Spaceman DNA grafted onto mine. And what's the automatic Time Lord reaction to mortal wounds?
By the time the ambulance arrived, the wound was gone, I'd grown a second heart and my eyes were green. You'd better be glad I'm at least still a redhead, or you'd have even more to be afraid of when I catch up to you. The fact that you went and turned me into a Spacegirl is bad enough, but really, if I'd suddenly become a blonde, things would have gotten ugly.
I kind of hate you, for what you did to me. But I also kind of love you, because I think I understand why you did it.
You never told me all the details- they say you never do- but I could see it in you, when you'd get that look in your eyes that told just how old you really were. I could see the children you talked about, the wife you must have had, about your parents, your friends. I could see all the people I've watched die for you, and all the people I've learned about since. So much blood, and you carry it around with you.
I tried to help. I tried to carry some of that. But you cast me off. You took it all away and once again picked up all the weight I'd tried to carry for you. But you did it because you couldn't watch one more person you cared about go down in flames in your name.
Here's the thing you never understand, though, Doctor: we who sacrifice for you... their/our blood isn't on your hands. It's on our own. We know what we're doing. It's just a bit egotistical, don't you think, to assume that because you're the one who opens our eyes and takes us away to the stars, all our actions automatically become your responsibility? No, it's all on us, Doctor. If we die for you, it's because we love you.
And when it comes down to it, Doctor, I might have saved reality, but you saved me. So many different ways.
You saved me, Doctor. I can't promise never to forget, because you seem to enjoy taking that ability away from me. But I can tell you this:
I'm coming to find you.