Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.
Oh, and the college is totally made up. I don't know anything about Canadian colleges and there's only so authentic you can get by reading Wikipedia.
Also, I just wanted to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my other stories. It really means a lot and if you haven't read them and you like this one, please check out the others on my author profile.
Eli and I were attending Prospective Students' Weekend at Devon College and after our five hour drive, I couldn't wait to get out and explore the campus. Eli had already been accepted and was trying to decide between a few different schools, and I knew I wanted to apply here next year. After several long debates with both sets of parents, they finally agreed to let us drive here together, since we'd be staying in dorm rooms with our student guides.
We pulled into the parking lot and I pulled out my phone to call my mother. "Mom," I said, holding my hand over my other ear so I could hear her. "We just arrived at Devon. I just wanted to let you know."
"You got there awfully fast. I thought you told me Eli was a safe driver."
"Yes, Mom, we just didn't stop very much." I rolled my eyes. "We're walking to the check in line now, so I should probably go."
"Be good, Clare. I love you."
"I love you too."
I hung up and Eli grinned. "You should turn the ringer off. You know she's going to call every hour that you're out of her sight, especially since you're with me."
"Yeah, and if I don't answer, that's only going to encourage her more." My mom had grown to accept Eli since we started dating last year. He had spent a lot of time at our house after my dad moved out, and she could see how much he cared for me. But she was really strict about us being alone together, and he wasn't allowed past the front porch if she wasn't in the house.
I walked around the car to the trunk, but Eli said, "Let's just leave our stuff here. We can get it later when we know where we're staying." He had borrowed his mother's car since neither set of parents were comfortable with us driving Morty this far.
The campus was beautiful. There were trees everywhere and the buildings all looked like they fit together. The library had a grand staircase leading up to it. I could see Eli's eyes widen, and my stomach dropped. As much as I knew Devon would be a good fit for him, I was really hoping he'd stay closer to Toronto. I had one more year of high school and I didn't want to spend it five hours away from him.
We found the check in tables and because our last names are so close together we were in the same line. We gave the girl at the table our names and she checked us off the list and handed us yellow name tags. "You're in group 10, and here are your orientation packets. You'll be with Dana," she gestured at a girl with a clipboard and striped shirt who was surrounded by a small group of students.
We walked over her to her and she greeted us. "There's our last two. Let's get this tour started."
As we walked across the grass, Dana spewed all sort of facts about the school and when it was founded. I grabbed Eli's hand and he shot me a smile. We stopped in front of a large building that had two towers. "This is the Franco Johnson dorm where most freshmen who live on campus will end up staying. We're going to take you in and show you what a real freshman dorm looks like just in case you end up living here."
We walked up the stairs and peered inside the room. It was tiny and had bunk beds, two desks, two dressers, a mini fridge and two closets. The walls were white cinder block and I had a feeling the two girls who lived here tripped over each other on a regular basis.
We went back into the hallway and Dana knocked on a door. "Anybody in there? Campus tours." She punched in a combination and opened the door to the communal girls' bathroom. The whole tour group walked inside, and we saw the shower stalls. "We always show the girls' bathroom because the boys' bathroom is always gross by this time of day. They are cleaned regularly, but everyone should invest in a good pair of shower shoes before going to any college."
Eli and I exchanged a look. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I'm surprised they are showing us the dorms when we're going to stay here later."
"Maybe they just don't want us to be surprised later. Or there's a stop at the campus bookstore to buy shower shoes."
The tour took us into the library, a campus computer lab, the main biology lab, the student center and the gym. The tour broke up at three so that we could go to interest sessions for the different majors. Eli and I went to the English department, since he was planning on studying English Literature and Creative Writing, and I was interested in Literature and Journalism.
We sat in the middle of a classroom and listened to different faculty members talk about their classes and their research interests. Devon College was a small liberal arts school, so they didn't have a lot of teaching assistants, and the professors actually taught most of the classes. I could see Eli's face light up as the creative writing professor talked about the writers they studied in her class. It was like a list of his favorite authors. The head of the journalism department talked a lot about the changing face of journalism and how the program focused more on media and the internet than print. It sounded fascinating but I was still thinking of that year without Eli and how difficult it would be.
When the lecture was over, we walked outside. "Where to, next?" I pulled out the agenda from the orientation packet and saw that the next item was dinner at the student cafeteria. We braved the buffet, and Eli piled his plate high since it was all you can eat.
"You better watch out or you're going to gain the freshman fifteen a little early," I teased.
He smiled. "More for you to love."
We saw two of the kids who had been in our tour group and sat with them. They were both from Ottawa and were planning on commuting next year. They exchanged email addresses with us so that we could friend them on Facebook and keep in touch. Eli kept up a steady conversation talking about how much he loved the school and couldn't wait to come here.
I pulled out the schedule of events and noticed that one of the options for entertainment that night was a Jill Sobule concert in the campus pub. "We have to go to this."
Eli groaned. "Isn't she the I Kissed a Girl lady?"
"Yes, and she's from way before Katy Perry. She's awesome. We have to see her."
Our new friends told us they had to get home, but I convinced Eli that we had to go. It was an awesome concert and she played a bunch of songs that I had on my ipod. Eli wasn't thrilled at first since she's a little too poppy or folky for him but she's funny and eventually he really came around to it.
When the concert was over, we walked outside. "We should probably get our stuff from the car," Eli said. It was getting pretty late, and we both were getting tired.
"How do we know where we're going?" I pulled out the orientation packet. The agenda. Campus map. Course list. "Eli, there's nothing in here that says anything about staying over."
"There has to be," he said. He looked through his packet but found the same stuff I did. He peered at the top of the agenda. "Clare, this says Prospective Commuter Student agenda. They put us in the wrong group."
We hurried back over to where the orientation tables had been, but of course, they had been put away. It was already after 11 at night. There were people walking around campus but I didn't see Dana or anyone else who was involved in the orientation.
"We'll just have to drive home. We'll tell our parents there was a mix-up. It'll be fine," I said.
"Clare, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm exhausted. We got up at 4 a.m. this morning to drive here and there's no way I could drive five hours home now. It wouldn't be safe."
"So what are we going to do?"
Eli smiled wryly. "Well ordinarily I'd say we could sleep in the back of Morty. But Morty's back in my driveway, and I don't think the Corolla is nearly as roomy. We passed a couple hotels on the way here; we'll just get a room for the night."
"My mother is going to kill me."
"We don't have to tell them. I've got some cash on me in case of emergencies, and I think not having a place to sleep qualifies."
"What if they won't let us rent a room?" I was really starting to panic over this.
"I've got an ID that says I'm 23 and a credit card to hold the room. It's not going to be a problem." He looked at me nervously. "Unless you're worried about sharing a room with me."
Worried? That wasn't exactly the word I'd use. "It's fine, Eli. Let's drive back down the highway a bit. It'll be cheaper if we're not in the city."
It wasn't until we entered the room and saw the queen sized bed in the middle of the room that I really realized that we were going to spend the night together…alone.
We had been dating for over a year, but between my mother's constant supervision and his parents who forced us to hang out in the living room while they sat in the kitchen playing bridge with the neighbors, we really hadn't had much opportunity to be alone. We had plenty of heated make out sessions in Morty and a few times when we knew we had a few hours before our parents came home, we did somewhat advance things physically, but we had never had a whole night together alone.
I dropped my bag on the bed and looked at him. He shrugged and we both laughed nervously. I felt like I needed to clear my head. "You know, I woke up so early this morning that I didn't bother to take a shower. So I should probably do that now."
"Good idea." Eli looked relieved. "I'll take one after you."
I was a little surprised that my snarky boyfriend didn't ask if he could join me, not that I would have let him, but both of us were just feeling a little weird right then. I gathered my pajamas and my toiletries in my arms and went into the bathroom.
This was such a long weird day. I really liked Devon College and I could definitely see myself there. It's right outside Ottawa so I'd still be near a city, but it has a real campus and feels like home. The professors are fantastic and they have a lot of internship programs. I could see myself studying abroad in Paris for a semester, and minoring in French.
And I knew Eli really wanted to go there. The only problem was: I didn't want him to be five hours away. I wished we were in the same grade, but even with my senior English class, I was still just a junior.
I knew I shouldn't be in here forever, so I quickly shaved my legs, blushing as I thought that Eli might end up seeing them tonight. I exited the shower and pulled a towel around me. I towel dried my curls as best as I could and went to put my pajamas on.
Where is my underwear?
I knew I had grabbed a pair when I got my pajamas out of my bag, but they were definitely missing. I looked at the pair I had taken off but they were old and ugly, not to mention dirty, so I didn't want to put them back on. I pulled the towel tighter around me and slowly opened the door.
Eli was lying on the bed, flipping through the channels with the remote. "Looking for these?" He twirled my underwear around his finger and smirked at me.
"Eli! Give me those!" He threw them across the room at me.
"You're the one who dropped them."
I spun around and slammed the bathroom door shut. At least this pair was fairly nice. They were pink and shiny and not totally embarrassing. I pulled my pajama bottoms on and looked at the matching tank top that went with it. I usually didn't sleep in a bra, but it felt weird to be with Eli in a somewhat skimpy (by my standards) tank top without one on. I put my bra back on, figuring that I could take it off when we turned out the lights.
I went back out and Eli jumped off the bed. He grabbed a pair of pajama pants out of his bag and went into the bathroom. I went to the mirror and tried to make my hair look presentable. I went through my bag and tried to find my deodorant. Shoot. Apparently I forgot to bring it.
I didn't want to smell bad for Eli so I decided it would be better to borrow his than to not wear any. I opened up his backpack and looked through the main compartment but all I found were his clothes for tomorrow. I opened the front compartment and found his deodorant. And a pack of condoms.
Did Eli plan this? He filled out the online forms to sign us up. Maybe he didn't ask for housing so he could take me to a hotel and seduce me.
I sat down on the bed, looking at the bathroom door in disbelief. We had talked about sex when we first got together. I told him I wanted to wait until marriage, and he told me he was fine with that, even though he had sex with Julia in the past. We hadn't really broached the subject again in so many words.
I knew I wanted to have sex with him, but my faith was important to me and I had been weighing the two for the better part of a year. And even though my belief had wavered and I didn't feel as strongly as I once did about having sex before marriage, I had never expressed that to him. I was planning on waiting until I was sure and then telling him.
He came out of the bathroom and his hair was still soaking wet. He still had his Dead Hand T-shirt on but he was wearing blue plaid pajama bottoms. He took one look at the expression on my face and his smile dropped. "What's the matter?"
I held out the pack of condoms without a word.
"Clare…" He sat down next to me, took the box out of my hand and put it behind us on the bed. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I've had those for months." My eyes widened. "I don't just bring them on overnight trips. I have them at school and when we're at your house doing homework and when we drive out to the lake for a picnic."
He continued, "I know you're not ready for sex and I'm fine with that. But I keep them with me because I know how easy it is to get caught up in a moment. If you wanted to, I would sleep with you, Clare. And I don't want us to do something stupid because we weren't prepared." He gave me a lopsided smile. "As cute as baby Alex is, I wouldn't trade places with Jenna for anything."
I looked down at my hands. "So you didn't screw up the housing application on purpose so that you could bring me here and seduce me?"
Eli broke into hysterical laughter and I couldn't help but giggle. "Clare, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ecstatic to be spending the night here with you rather than the floor of some stranger's dorm room. But this was not intentional." He pulled me in for a quick kiss. "I'll even sleep on the floor if you want."
"I don't think that will be necessary." I moved the box of condoms and our backpacks off the bed and lay down against the pillow. He moved next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"So," I began, trying to figure out how to phrase my question. "Do you think you're going to Devon College next year?"
"I really like it there. It's got everything I'm looking for: great campus, great classes. The kids don't seem totally stuck up which helps." He pulled me closer and looked right into my eyes. "Can you see yourself there?"
I closed my eyes for a second. "I think I can." I'm just not sure I can still see us together after a year apart. A tear trickled down my face and I sniffled a little, trying to hold back a sob.
"Clare?" I covered my face with my hands because I didn't want him to see me like this. "Tell me what's wrong. If you don't like it at Devon, just tell me."
"I like it. A lot. It's just…" My lip quivered for a second and I paused to catch my breath. "It's five hours away."
"And you don't want to go that far from home? There are loads of great schools closer to Toronto that you could check out."
"It's not that I want to be close to home, but I don't want to be five hours away from you." With that, I burst out into hysterical tears. Eli looked completely alarmed and I felt awful that I was putting this on him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I continued. "I know I'm a horrible girlfriend and that I should be supportive and I know you want to go here, Eli. I could see it on your face the whole trip. This school is perfect for you. And I'd never stop you from coming here but I'm so scared that you're going to leave me in four months and you'll be in college having the time of your life and I'll be stuck in Toronto, missing you and getting to see you maybe once a month. It just won't be enough."
"Clare…" He paused and I looked into his eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking. "I want to tell you something, but before I do, I need you to answer a question for me honestly. If I wasn't a factor at all, say we broke up tomorrow…" I gave him such a horrified look he quickly retracted his statement. "No, no, let's just say I never came to Degrassi or Ms. Dawes didn't have the good sense to make us English partners. If I wasn't in the picture at all, do you think you would go to Devon?"
"Yes. It's a great school and they have exactly the program I'm looking for. I'd probably apply to a couple of schools closer to home, but Devon would be my first choice."
Eli grinned. There were still tears in my eyes and I wasn't sure exactly what he was so happy about. "This is perfect, Clare."
"What are you talking about?" I was really tired and really drained from crying.
"I really wanted to go to Devon, but there were two problems I couldn't quite figure out: the money and you. I didn't want to leave you for an entire year, and I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to pay for it."
"There are always scholarships and loans. You shouldn't let that get in the way."
"Well, I was pretty worried, so I've been emailing back and forth with a guy from the financial aid department. And he told me that based on my SAT scores and my GPA I should be able to get a scholarship that will cover my tuition."
"But there's still room and board to think about, and I know my parents really can't help out much with this. They drained the money they had saved when Dad was out of work last year, and he makes a lot less than he used to at his new job. So, I came up with a solution that I think will solve both of my problems."
"And that is?"
"I'm going to take a gap year."
My mouth dropped open. "Eli, that's…"
"A great idea?"
"I was going to say a terrible idea."
"What's terrible about it? The only thing that is bad about gap years is that sometimes the person doesn't end up going back to school. Of course, I'll go back, because I'll be going with you." He looked at me so tenderly that I just wanted to pull him to me and kiss him senseless, but I knew we should probably finish this conversation first.
"I just don't want to be the person who holds you back."
He bounced his finger off my nose. "You won't be. I'm not going to sit around at the Dot waiting for you to get home from Degrassi. I'm going to get a job, save up some money. If I can get a scholarship to cover it, I might try and take a general education class or two in Toronto so I can take more classes I'm interested in once I'm at Devon. If I can save enough I might even take a month off and bum around Europe or visit my uncle in Israel."
"And international travel aside, we won't be five hours away from each other."
"You see? It's the perfect solution. I just had to know that you wanted to go to Devon for yourself and that you weren't thinking about going just for me."
"Are you sure? Aren't you ready to start college and move out and get away?"
"Of course I am, but I don't want to graduate college with tons of student loans. I'm majoring in English literature and the world is in a huge financial crisis. It'll be easier to start out after a year of working and living at home. I'd rather do it now than when I'm 22."
His eyes were sparkling and my tears had stopped as soon as I realized that we could stay together and it would be the best thing for both of us.
I let out a huge yawn and Eli smiled. "It's really late. We should get some sleep."
We got off the bed and pulled back the covers. He immediately jumped into the bed. I set the alarm on my cell phone and sat down in bed. I reached over to the lamp next to the bed and turned off the light.
Still sitting, I unhooked my bra, pulled the straps down my arms, and started to pull it out from underneath my tank top. "What are you doing?" Eli asked.
"Just getting comfortable." I slid down into the bed. His cold foot met mine and I pulled back, giggling. It was so strange to be in bed in the dark with my boyfriend.
He reached over and ran his hand over my stomach. "Ohh," he groaned. "I thought you were taking your clothes off."
"I think that's your job."
I kind of thought he would start there, but he didn't. He just pulled me into his arms and kissed me. His kisses were slow and sexy and I realized that was one thing we had missed out on. Whenever we had brief moments of time when we were alone, it was always so fast. He'd pull up my shirt and pull down the zipper on my pants, and his fingers would be inside me before I even had a moment to catch my breath.
I realized tonight was going to be very different. He moved his hands lazily along my back, slipping under the hem or caressing the skin between my straps occasionally but not really making a move to take the shirt off.
I was enjoying the slow pace, but I thought it would be a little more enjoyable if I could spend this extra time exploring his body. I slid his t-shirt up his body and he helped me pull it over his head. I mimicked his slow movements, starting with his shoulders and running my hands down his arms over his stomach and back.
He pulled back a little bit and the small bit of moonlight that slipped through the hotel curtains let me see his smile. "I love being here with you like this."
"Mmm," I moaned as his hands slid up my shirt.
"I can't believe I get to spend the whole night in this big bed with you."
I laughed. "I thought you were so tired."
"I seem to have gotten a second wind." He tangled his legs in mine and I could feel him hard against me.
"I can see that," I said, moving my hips against him.
He moved away and laughed. "We've got all night, Clare."
He entwined his fingers in mine and pulled my right hand, then my left hand over my head. He moved over me and took the hem of my shirt in his hands, pulling it over me slowly as his lips trailed behind. Once he had reached my fingertips, he moved back to my breasts. I ran my fingers through his hair as he used his tongue on me.
His mouth moved back to my lips and I moaned when our bare chests met. We kissed for what seemed like forever. Neither of us seemed to be in a rush to get to the next step for once.
As we kissed, I found myself thinking about what the next step should be. I felt so connected to him, so intensely passionate about him, that I found myself thinking not for the first time about having sex with him.
I knew Eli loved me and I knew I loved him. Now that I knew we weren't going to be apart next year which would likely lead to us breaking up, I realized that this could be it for us. I could picture a day, far off the in the future, where the two of us could be married.
And it seemed like there wasn't anything left to wait for.
"Eli," I murmured. "I want you to make love to me."
He pulled back and looked at me. "Clare, you don't have to do this."
"I want to." I tried to pull him back to me, but he moved toward the edge of the bed, turned the lamp on and sat up. I blinked at the brightness and sat up next to him. I crossed my arms over my chest to cover myself.
"Clare, an hour ago you were upset when you found out I had condoms that I wasn't even planning on using."
"I was just surprised. I wasn't upset. It made perfect sense that you had them for situations like this. I just wish you had told me."
"But I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel pressured."
I grabbed his hand. "I don't feel pressure. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I want you, Eli. I want all of you."
He ran his hands over my face and closed his eyes, thinking hard. When he opened them, I could see his eyes darken and knew he had made his decision. He pulled me into his lap and I wrapped my legs around him. He reached over to turn the lamp off, but I stilled his hand. "Leave it on. I want to see you."
He slid his hands down into my pajama bottoms and grabbed my butt. I rubbed myself against him as we kissed. It seemed like our slow, sweet kisses from before were over. Everything now was fast, hot and intense.
"You have way too much clothing on," Eli whispered, his breath hot against my ear.
I slid off his lap and lay down, looking at him expectantly. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of my pants and slid them off my legs, taking my underwear with them. I blushed furiously, since the light was still on, and this was the first time I had ever been entirely naked with him. His eyes lit up as he saw me, and I started to feel more comfortable, seeing how much love and lust he had for me.
I reached for him, trying to get him naked as well, but he moved his hips away from me. "Let me take care of you."
"But I want you now," I whined.
He smiled and ran his hands along my cheek. "I want you too. But even though I'm going to try to make this the most amazing experience of your life, realistically it probably won't be. So let me take care of you first, because I am so turned on right now that this isn't going to last very long, and I want to make sure you enjoy yourself tonight."
I nodded and he spread my legs apart and slid his fingers into me. Eli was really talented at this and I was whimpering almost immediately.
He moved his mouth to my ear. "You know what's the best thing about being here with you? We don't have to worry about our parents being a few rooms away. You can be as loud as you want." As he said this, he moved his fingers over my clit and I let out a huge moan. He moved his lips down to my nipple and I arched off the bed and yelled his name as my orgasm hit.
I lay down against the pillow and Eli snuggled back against me. He moved his fingers out of me and sucked them into his mouth. "Clare, I really want to taste you."
He had offered to do that to me before, but I always turned him down. I was too embarrassed to have him see me like that, and I had always been too nervous about taking all of my clothes off in case our parents came home.
Tonight I had let him see me naked and there weren't any parents around, but I really just wanted to get to the main event. "Check out time isn't until noon. When we wake up tomorrow, we can take a shower together and then you can lick me clean."
Eli groaned. "You're killing me, Clare. I'm never going to want to leave this hotel room."
"Me neither." I kissed him and moved my hands to his hips. He raised himself off the bed and I pulled off his pants and boxers. I had seen him naked before, but I took a second to appreciate just how sexy he looked.
I moved to wrap my hand around him but he stopped me. "That's not a good idea right now." He kissed me again and then he pulled back to look at me. "Are you really sure you want to do this?"
"There's nothing I want to do more." I gave him a quick kiss and then hopped off the bed to pick up the box of condoms. I knelt next to him and pulled one out.
He raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to put it on me?"
I sort of did, but I wasn't sure those health classes had really prepared me for something this important so I thought I'd defer to his experience. "I want to watch you do it."
He opened the package with a little bit of difficulty and rolled it on. "How do you want to do this?"
I suddenly felt really shy about this and didn't say anything. He seemed to understand and gently lay me down on my back. He knelt between my legs and slowly slid into me.
I could feel a slight tearing and it was really tight, but it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. He moved until he was all the way inside and then stopped. "Ohh, Clare," Eli moaned. He was usually pretty quiet when we did stuff so I knew he must be feeling amazing. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too," I whispered. He kissed me and he started to move, very slowly. It felt really sweet, being in his arms, feeling his skin against mine. His hands moved all over me and he reached down and pulled my legs around him. The shift in position made him go even deeper and it felt really nice.
Eli pulled himself back and held himself up over me. I could tell from the look on his face that he was pretty close. He reached down and started to touch me right above where we were joined, but I was still pretty sensitive from before so I moved his hand away. His eyes widened when I replaced his fingers with my own, trying to make myself come again.
He started thrusting a little bit faster, though I could tell he was still holding himself back. He moved his mouth back to mine and squeezed my nipple with his right hand and I started to see just what the big deal was. I rubbed faster and tightened my legs around him.
His tongue was moving against mine and we were kissing furiously. Everything got more and more intense and finally I screamed so loud I would have been embarrassed if I were thinking clearly. I clenched around Eli and that was all he needed.
He pulled out right away and I already missed him, even though my hips were starting to get sore. He grabbed a tissue off the nightstand and pulled the condom off carefully, throwing it into the trash can next to the bed. He lay back down next to me and put his arms around me.
"That was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me," I said, running my hands over his heart.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He shook his head. "I can't believe we did that. I've been dreaming about that for a year and a half and it's never been even half as intense as the real thing."
"What was different about it?"
"You. You're just so sexy and alive and you make the most incredible sounds and you're not afraid to touch yourself and I don't know how I'm going to be able to sit next to you in English class and not be inside you."
Eli's words made me tingle and I almost wanted to start all over again but it was late and we really needed to sleep. "We'll figure it out," I said. I gestured toward the lamp and he reached over and turned it off.
We snuggled together and I tried to fall asleep. "Maybe we shouldn't tell our parents the plan about Devon," he whispered, and I turned to look at him. "There's got to be a few other colleges we could go visit. I hear Montreal is lovely this time of year."
"I like the way you're thinking," I said and kissed him goodnight.