Special Agent Dead Meat

Summary: Hetty's out for blood. Who will be the one who sheds it?

Warning: I don't know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.

Timeline: season 1 NCIS: LA; post-season 4 BtVS. Say that Buffy's in LA for an extended visit.

Challenge: special request by immortalsilence because they gave me my 4000th review on TtH.

A/N: I freely admit that I've only watched a few episodes of NCIS: LA, so I beg your indulgence if I don't have the characters correct.

Thanks to my betas: none 'cause I wanted to put this out right away.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. NCIS: LA characters belong to Shane Brennan, Shane Brennan Productions and CBS. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

NCIS Headquarters, Los Angeles

As the team made their way into the meeting area of the lobby, Hetty called out, "Gather 'round, children. I have a personal problem that I need to share with you. My darling niece, my favorite relative in the whole world came to me this morning very distraught. It seems as though one of my agents upset her. What I don't understand is why anyone would hurt that adorable little blonde sweetie. Rest assured, when I find out who did it, they will pay greatly for their transgression."

When they left on assignment, Callen said to his partner, "Sam, I think I'm in deep shit. I think Hetty's niece is talking about me."

Quirking his eyebrow, Sam asked with more than a hint of amusement, "Why would you think that, G?"

"I think I'm dating her, and last night I had to cancel because of our stakeout," Callen answered with a grimace.

Sam just chuckled, then followed up with the question, "But why would you think the girl you're dating is Hetty's relative?"

"Because she fits the description! And she's short like Hetty. Well, not as short as her, but still short," Callen insisted. Oh god, he was dead meat! What if Hetty asked if he had been a gentleman with her niece? Could she kill him for kissing her niece?

"So? So does the girl I'm dating," Sam informed his partner, smirking at the abject fear in G's eyes. "You don't see me freaking out."

Once they compared notes on their respective girls, Callen looked sick. "Oh god! I don't know what disturbs me more: the idea that we might be dating the same woman, or the idea that that woman might be related to Hetty."

Sam wasn't any happier that they were dating the same woman, but it wasn't as if the relationship was exclusive. It did make him wonder what her type was that she would date both him and G, though. "I think it should be the related part - especially if you're right about her being upset about last night."

Then later, when they got back to the office, they saw Buffy talking to Hetty, and they both froze in place. Sam leaned over to whisper to Callen, "Been nice knowing you, G."

Hetty left Buffy sitting in her office and announced to the team, "Good news. It wasn't one of my agents that hurt my niece. It was a visiting agent who told her the dress she was wearing made her look like a hooker. That person has been reassigned to serve as Special Agent Afloat on the USS Carl Vinson for the next eighteen months."

A/N: I know it's really short, but the bunny hit me and wouldn't leave me alone. This is supposed to be funny, people. Please remember that.