While writing "Damages" this suddenly hit me. From all the angst and multi-fics, I found myself writing something very rare: a humorous fic. Never done this before, and I felt a bit unsure whether I should publish this at all. But here I am, trying to make someone smile.
If you like it, please tell me. If you hate it and never want me to try to do a humorfic, please tell that too. =)
Here we go again
Arthur had carried a lot of people in his life. When he was seven, his cousin Alex had fallen off a tree and broke his leg. He had to carry his crying cousin back to the castle and to Gaius.
He had carried some injured peasants after attacks, for example after the dragon. It was normal: someone had got hurt, someone had hit their head or broken their leg - it was all the same. Arthur didn't feel too royal, proud or anything, unlike his father: it was a small thing he could do to help his people.
Time to time he had carried Morgana, too, when she had fainted for the heat or seeing some nasty bug.
But after years of small incidents and accidents, Arthur had never carried someone so much around as Merlin.
When Merlin had entered his life, Arthur had been sure he would never meet the irritating idiot again. But then Merlin became his manservant and not too long after that the king of Mercia came to visit. Merlin, being such an idiot as always, had drunk the poisoned chalice for the prince, and then collapsed to the floor.
It was the first time ever he had carried Merlin.
Second time, had been when they had arrived from a hunt. Merlin had been carrying his armour and climbing up the stairs at the same time, the most dangerous combination there could be - and of course the idiot had lost his balance right at the top of the stairs and fallen backwards, armour and the idiot rolling down the stairs.
They hadn't known each other properly back then, but Arthur could still remember the horror he had felt when Merlin had finally reached the ground. He was lying there, on his side and unmoving. Fortunately the pieces of the armour hadn't hit him. One thing Arthur had learnt from it: never give Merlin anything to carry when he was trying to climb up the stairs.
Third time had been very stupid. Arthur had taken Merlin with him to the Great Feast, held every year, and his knights had decided to take Merlin to their drinking games. As a result, Merlin had passed out, and it took time before Arthur even realized it was Merlin, after all, he had been drinking too.
The Great Feast had ended there and then for the prince. Arthur could just wonder how someone so small as Merlin could drink that much. He had carried Merlin to Gaius, quite unstable with his own feet, but he couldn't help but to feel a bit amused of Gaius' face when he had entered the chambers.
After the third time, he had lost count. Merlin, falling off a horse. Merlin getting his head bumped in the knights' training. Merlin fainting because he hadn't remembered to eat. Merlin stumbling and knocking himself out. Merlin getting smashed against the wall by an enemy soldier. Merlin getting smashed against the wall by a sorcerer. Merlin getting hurt. Merlin being clumsy. Arthur failing at the attempt to protect his stupid servant. Merlin accidentally cutting himself while sharpening his sword and fainting to the corridor.
Arthur shook his head in frustration. Merlin had officially broke the record of getting carried around by the prince. Fortunately he wasn't heavy at all. Actually, he was scaringly skinny. He weighed as much as a child, which had made Arthur to worry and mention it to Gaius.
How could someone be so completely idiotic?
Arthur tried to understand it as he looked down to his arms, where Merlin's blank face was the only thing facing him. The prince shook his head again. -How did this happen again? Is it really that hard to walk down the stairs, Merlin? I shouldn't take you to the knight's training, I should teach you how to walk for heaven's sake, and not to stumble on your own feet. You hear me?"
Merlin didn't answer. Arthur just sighed as he walked through the familiar corridors towards Gaius' chambers, once again carrying his servant. -You said I would be a great king. How can I do that if I have to worry about you falling down the stairs or bumping yourself into chairs and tables and everything that can be bumped into? We should make the corners round in the whole castle. Starting with the chairs. Oh, and we should a have round table. That could be a start. "
Arthur started to feel a bit stupid for talking to himself, as Merlin was still completely out of it.
Arthur glanced at his servant in his arms and sighed again. -You never cease to amaze me, Merlin. "
Finally he reached the door of Gaius' chambers.
-Here we go again. I bet Gaius is going to be happy." The prince glanced at his Merlin, who kept still. But even if he tried to be frustrated, Arthur couldn't help but to chuckle. -Idiot." He shook his head once more and entered the room.