Rumspringa "running around"- period of adolescence that begins the time of serious courtship, during which, church rules are relaxed. Starts at age 16 and until individual is ready to be tied to the church through baptism. Generally looked at as courtship or finding a spouse.
Disclaimer: I do not own characters, just the plot. SM is lovely to let us use her characters to our own vises.
"How could I possibly defy everything I've ever known just for you?" I shouted to her, turning so I could look her square in the face. It was a bad idea, she looked at me with such pity and love in her eyes, that I nearly choked on it.
"Because you love me Edward." She pleaded with me, her tone finality.
Of course I loved her. There wasn't a doubt in my mind of that, but there were forces working here that I had no power over anymore.
I smiled down at her, but I could feel the biting cold that started to edge into my system, dosing me with cold prickling water. "Yes I love you Bella, but what about God? What would he think if I renounced him to be with you?"
She walked towards me then, her eyes full of tears that had yet to fall, and her hands in front of her clasped, almost like she were pleading or praying. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I couldn't stand to see her crying over what I couldn't change. She had known. She knew what it was that I had to give up to be with her. I had to give up who I was. I had to become someone that I didn't even know existed. Someone who was a complete and utter stranger to me.
I wanted to be with her, but what of my soul in the after life? What would God say to me if I were to just let go, take her hands, and never look back again? Would I find peace with myself? With God?
"You don't have to renounce God Edward. We can live together in God's name." She gave me a watery smile, and looked up into my eyes. Her dark chocolate eyes pleading with me for understanding and acceptance. "We could get married. We could be together forever Edward."
I wanted to have that forever. I was so close to it, that I could taste it on my tongue. But I was raised to believe that if I didn't follow the rules of the church, I was shunned to the outside. Shunned away from everything and everyone that I ever knew, and the only thing I had that linked me to the outside, was Bella. Everything else had me linked to my simple living, to my lifestyle as an Amish man. My family, my home, my life. All of it was linked, and I was to follow that link and not break the chain.
I didn't want to choose. I didn't want to be in this situation, but it was a little late to take it all back now. I didn't want to take it back anyways. If I did, it meant that I had to give up everything that Bella and I had shared in the months since we had been together. No matter the sin in that, I couldn't bring myself to forget everything that we had shared. Especially the love that had grown between us like a potted plant in the sun. Would I get a chance to see it harvested, or would I see it wither and die right before my eyes?
I just wish things could be simpler. That Bella was Amish like I was, and that us being together wasn't a sin against God; against the very essence of my Amish heritage. But it wasn't like that, and I was committing a sin just by being with her.
I pulled away from her, and turned so my back was to her imploring eyes. "I can't Bella. I can't give you that forever."
"Then what were you giving me Edward? When you said you loved me, what were you planning on giving me? Nothing?" She whispered at me with hurtful, spiteful words.
I took a deep breath, and steeled myself against her, and against the outside world of sinners and non-saints. "I was giving you now Bella. Only now."
"I don't want your now Edward, I want more than that." I heard her sniffle, and choke on her unshed tears. "I wanted forever with you."
My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest. I wanted to turn around and take her up in my arms. Pulling her towards my body, sheltering her away from the world and our predicament. But I couldn't bring my feet to turn towards her. It was final. My life wasn't meant to have Bella Swan in it.
Just a quick prologue to set off the story. As always let me know what you think. I completely appreciate any feedback you guys want to give me; good, bad, inventive, it doesn't matter. All words are encouragement to get the story up and written.
This story involves Edward being from the Amish community. Bella is of course not Amish in this story, and they end up meeting when Edward is on his Rumspringa. Rumspringa is generally looked at as time when all adolescence get a chance to shy away from the rules of the Amish church, and be a little promiscuous. I'll have random facts up about the Amish way of living in every chapter.
I'm not Amish, but I have always been fascinated with their way of living. It's truly beautiful to see some of these people in person. They have a strong community, and are severely religious. If you have any questions about anything Amish, let me know.
Thanks bunches all!