(A/N: You guys are THE BEST. I mean it. I love you all dearly. I want to very sincerely thank everyone that has reviewed this work so far. I can't believe 91 people have put this story on their alerts list! It is unbelievable and I can't thank any of you enough! You've made my day!)
Warnings: F-bomb is dropped a few times and there are some other minor curses.
A House Is Not A Home
Chapter 3- Sorry
Thirty-three hours. Thirty-three hours since everything changed. Thirty-three hours since he had last spoken to Kurt. Thirty-three hours before he had kissed Kurt in the other boy's basement. It had been thirty-three hours since he had run out of the house and away from Kurt. Thirty-three hours since he first started sincerely wishing that he had never come to this school.
Sam Evans stared longingly at the back of one Kurt Hummel's head. He was desperately wishing the other boy would speak to him. Or even look at him. Mr. Shue was prattling on about something that Sam couldn't have cared less about if he tried. Because why should he care about show tunes when Kurt was so steadily ignoring his existence?
Sam sighed, thinking for the millionth time that he shouldn't have sung that stupid song. Let It Be. What had he been thinking? Kurt had obviously taken in the wrong way. He hadn't thought it through. He hadn't thought Kurt would take it to mean he didn't like him. He just wanted to say…'please don't be mad at me for running out of your house, I didn't mean it.' Apparently, he had not sung the song right because Kurt had taken it to mean 'Forget about the kiss, leave me alone.' And Kurt was happily complying with Sam's supposed request.
Christine began shooting him some weird looks. Not that he noticed. He was still staring at Kurt. After trying unsuccessfully to catch Sam's eye for a few moments, she elbowed him hard in the ribs.
"Ow! Christine, what?" he hissed at his sister.
She simply raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kurt then Sam.
"Yeah…I may have done something stupid," he muttered.
"Tell me later?" she whispered to him.
"Of course," Sam replied, though he had no intention of doing any such thing. He was close with his sister. Really close. But this wasn't something he wanted to share with anyone. He hadn't ever told anyone about the other boys he had kissed and this would be no different.
Except somehow…it was different. Sam couldn't understand why. He just really like being in Glee Club. They were the first ones to really accept him here. He'd made it on to the football team, sure, but there had been hazing. And none of the other guys really liked him much yet. But Glee was different. When they had jammed with him while he sang Billionaire, he had had a really good time. He didn't want anything to mess that up. These people were the first really want to be his friends and they were thrilled to have him in the group. But they had been Kurt's friends first and Sam got the feeling these were fiercely loyal people. If they started noticing tension between the two, they'd probably side with Kurt. Especially if Kurt explained to them what had happened.
Oh god…he hadn't thought of that. What if Kurt told someone? Sam had never had that problem before. The other boys he had kissed were just as scared of telling someone as he was. But Kurt? Kurt was out loud and proud.
Shit. Sam Evans couldn't help but think that he was so totally screwed.
Later that Day…
"Hey, Sam, how are you doing?" Finn leaned against the locker next to Sam's.
"I'm alright," Sam barely had time to reply before Finn interrupted.
"Awesome, that's great," Finn clapped him on the back. "Look, I need your help with something, okay?"
Sam found himself being steered down the hallway by Finn's firm grasp. Jesus, that kid was strong…
"Um, okay then?" Sam really hoped this wasn't going to end in him being slushied. Somehow, every time Finn wanted him to do something, he ended up being slushied.
"Great!" Finn certainly did seem enthusiastic about whatever it was they were about to do.
"So…where are we going?" Sam wondered aloud.
"Well…you know how the football team's actually been kind of good lately?"
"Yeah…" Sam said slowly.
"We've got a game coming up in a couple weeks that's a pretty big deal. It's against one of the best teams in the state. We haven't won a game against them since 1952."
"You seem excited," Sam was more confused now than ever.
"OK…usually it's a complete disaster. Two years ago, half our team pretended to be sick just so they wouldn't have to show up to get their asses handed to them yet another year in a row," Finn's smile faded a bit at that. "And then last year, Coach Tanaka threatened to expel anyone who faked being sick to get out of the game…so half the team deliberately made themselves sick."
"And…this is a good thing?" Sam was struggling to see the Finn logic here.
"Yes! Don't you see? Usually we don't even try because we know we can't win. But now we've actually been winning games…maybe we've got a shot," Finn smiled like a maniac.
"OK…but if you want to plan out plays then don't you think we should wait until practice? You know, and include the rest of the team?"
"I don't want to plan out plays…well, I do, but that's not what we're doing right now."
"What are we doing right now?"
"We're improving our chances exponentially," Finn grinned.
Sam wasn't sure what that last word meant, and he wasn't sure Finn did, either. Sam was still so puzzled over the whole conversation that he didn't even realize who they were approaching until they were standing right in front of him.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at their approach.
"Yes?" He glanced them over and Sam could swear that his lip curled in disgust when Kurt looked at him, but it had only been for a second before Kurt's face was back to his regular cold, impassive look.
Finn was a little put off by that look. Now that he and Kurt were on better terms again, he was used to a much warmer greeting by the younger boy and he briefly wondered what he had done to anger Kurt this time but he trudged on with his plan anyway.
"Hey Kurt, how are you doing?" Finn smiled his most charming smile.
"…what did you break?" Kurt glared.
"I swear to god if it was valuable I will—"
"I didn't break anything, Kurt!"
"It's not my car, is it? Dear god, please don't let it be my baby!"
"Kurt! Will you shut up?"
"I'm sorry, Finn," Kurt shook his head. "But I've seen that look too many times not to be suspicious. It's the look you use when you want to butter someone up."
"…I don't know what that means…"
"Just…what do you want?" Kurt sighed. He had serious concerns about his stepbrother sometimes.
"I want you to rejoin the football team."
"HA!" Kurt's forced laugh was so loud several people in the hallway turned to stare. "Nice joke, Hudson. But I have class. I'll see you later."
"No, wait, seriously!" Finn ran after Kurt's retreating back, pulling a reluctant Sam with him.
"Finn, under no circumstances will I ever rejoin the football team," Kurt replied with a curt nod of his head, intending to end the conversation. Finn, however, would not be deterred.
"But we need you!" Finn whined.
"But I don't need football," was Kurt's only reply, walking as fast as he could, hoping to lose the other boy in the confusion of the hallway.
"Kurt, I promise you its not going to be like it was last time," Finn insisted, managing to stay just behind Kurt while still dragging Sam along. "I'll keep the other guys off your back this time."
"You and what army?" Kurt snorted.
"Well…Puck and Mike," replied Finn to the back of Kurt's head. "And Sam!"
Kurt stopped short and turned around at that and Finn pulled Sam forward as physical evidence. Kurt glared at both of them.
"Finn, it's not that I don't trust you," Kurt said flatly. "But you promised to look out for me last time, too. And the other guys were not keen on having me on the team. Not even after we won our only game of the season."
"It'll be different this time, I swear," said Finn sincerely. "We really need you."
"What for? You've been winning games without me. You need me as much as a fish needs a bicycle."
"We need you so that we'll have a chance at beating Jefferson High."
Kurt raised his eyebrows so high they practically disappeared into his hair. "You think we have a chance of beating Jefferson? How delusional are you?"
"Only a little, I swear," Finn said earnestly. "I know it's a long shot, but you haven't seen the team this year! We've got a coach that's actually good and we've got some really great players. We need you to come back on a kicker. You've never missed a goal, not even in practice! If we've got you, they we really might have a shot."
Finn was about ready to get on his knees and beg. Sam was looking between the two brothers and wondering how many more surprises they would hold. Kurt had been on the football team? And he had actually been good?
Kurt's eyes softened for a minute when he looked at Finn. If they really needed him…
"Look, even if I wanted to join," Kurt finally shook his head. "I don't have the time. Between Glee and the Cheerios, I barely have time to sleep. I just can't do all three."
"Then drop the Cheerios!" Finn persisted.
"Finn, I like the Cheerios. A lot more than I ever liked football."
"Don't give me that. You liked football. Remember how excited you were when we won? And the team lifted you up on their shoulders?" Finn smirked.
"…alright, so it was kind of fun sometimes. But I simply don't have time," Kurt shrugged. "I'll see you around, Finn…Sam." Kurt added Sam's name at the end with an unreadable expression.
Sam sighed as Kurt turned away from them. That could have gone better. At least Finn hadn't gotten him slushied this time.
The shout came early enough for Kurt to duck out of the way of the frozen treat that was suddenly being hurled through the air, but Sam didn't react quickly enough. Just like that, he was covered in ice-cold purple goop.
Screw the world.
Three minutes later, in the nearest boys' bathroom…
Sam struggled with getting his head under the sink and still being able to use his hands to try and wash the slushie out. He wished Quinn were here. This was a lot easier with somewhere here to help.
"Oh just stop before you hurt yourself," a lilting voice commanded from the doorway. Sam recognized the voice and immediately tried to raise his head so he could see Kurt for himself but he hit his head on the faucet and then nearly fell over from the pain.
"Dear god, this is pathetic," Kurt walked over to him. "You just consider yourself lucky that Mrs. Goodman believed me when I said I needed to leave class because I had the sudden, uncontrollable need to vomit."
"I lied," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. The look of confusion on Sam's face was really kind of adorable and Kurt found that infinitely irritating. "That slushie was meant for me, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I felt bad. Thought I could help you clean up."
Nothing about Kurt's voice conveyed any emotion whatsoever. He spoke of the matter with complete indifference.
"Er…thanks," said Sam. "I…I'm not really good at this whole….de-slushying myself thing."
"…articulate as always, Mr. Evans," Kurt raised one eyebrow.
"Just sit down here, I'll wash the slushie out of your hair," Kurt pulled the chair that was conveniently located in the bathroom over to one of the sinks. Sam wondered if all the bathrooms here had chairs for this specific purpose.
"Hm…grape flavored. That's one of the worst. It's a nightmare, trying to get it out of clothing," Kurt seemed to be speaking more to himself than Sam while he assessed the damage done to Sam's clothes and then eventually started gently washing his hair. "Then again, maybe purple is your color…"
Sam closed his eyes and allowed himself to breathe in the wonderful scent that seemed to go wherever Kurt went. Kurt started humming to himself and eventually started mumbling some lyrics under his breath.
"Start wearing purple, wearing purple.
Start wearing purple for me now.
All your sanity and wits they will all vanish,
I promise, it's just a matter of time…"
Kurt trailed off and Sam found himself very disappointed.
"Don't stop," he muttered before he even thought about what he was saying.
Kurt's hand paused in their work of freeing Sam's hair from the sticky substance.
"Sam," Kurt sighed his name and Sam almost cried. Kurt's voice was just a little breathy and very sad. Sam held his eyes shut tight, refusing to look at the boy above him.
"Sam," Kurt's voice was firmer and more demanding this time. Still, Sam tried to ignore him.
"Sam, look at me."
Sam found he could not disobey that direct command. They stared into each other's eyes for a minute before they both tried to speak at the exact same time.
"It's not that I didn't want to kiss you—"
"I understand that you're a little freaked out—
"—obviously I wanted to or I wouldn't have—"
"—still no excuse for treating me the way you have—"
"—I mean, I like you—"
"—and that's not to say that I didn't enjoy the kiss—"
"—should have apologized sooner but you wouldn't even look at me—"
"—and then you just ran away—"
Both boys were speaking at the same time, simultaneously unloading the weight of what had happened. Their words echoed off each other and the tiles of the bathroom, making all that was said nearly impossible to understand. Not that either one was paying much attention to the other anyway.
"—and it wasn't like any other kiss I've ever had with another boy!" Sam finally concluded while Kurt ended with "—and Finn probably knows I like you which is why he brought you over to convince me to join to football team."
"Wait, you've kissed other boys?" Kurt asked at the exact same time as Sam said, "Wait, Finn knows you like me? Wait…you like me?"
There was an awkward pause when both boys opened their mouths at the same time, saw the other was about to say something and quickly shut their mouths again. This happened several times before Kurt finally broke the silence.
"We're really bad at this," he commented lightly.
"I'm really sorry about what happened," Sam said, willing Kurt to believe he hadn't meant to hurt him.
Kurt went back to washing Sam's hair, carefully avoiding his eyes before saying in a very small voice, "Sorry you kissed me or sorry you ran away?"
"The second one, definitely the second one," Sam said. "I could never be sorry that I kissed you." Sam studied Kurt's face even though Kurt was still intent on staring at nothing but Sam's hair. Kurt was biting his lip and he looked near tears.
"Look…what I said about kissing other boys before…"
"Yes?" Kurt's voice cracked.
"I went to an all boy's boarding school," Sam said in a rush, as if it would be better that way. "We got bored. Things happened. But I never really felt…I mean, I always thought I was straight and I was just kissing other guys because they were my only option."
"Right," Kurt said shortly.
"But I think I might like you," Sam said breathlessly.
"You think you might like me?" Kurt was honestly not sure how he was supposed to feel about such a wishy-washy declaration of affection.
"I'm not like you, Kurt," Sam said and Kurt inhaled sharply. Though it was entirely unintentional, Sam had just uttered exactly what Finn had said to Kurt all those months ago and it immediately put Kurt in a defensive mode. Sam, however, continued a bit differently than Finn had. "I'm not…I don't know who I am. You're so sure of who you are all the time…I've got no clue. I think I like you but…I don't know. Not for sure."
"And what do you suppose we should do about that predicament?" The cold edge in Kurt's voice was returning.
"I just…need some time, okay?" Sam.
"Fine, Sam, take all the time you want. But don't expect me to wait forever," Kurt's voice was drenched in bitterness. His hands left Sam's head as he turned the water from the sink off and turned to walk away.
"Are you ever going to look at me again?" Sam asked Kurt's retreating back.
Kurt paused right before the door but then he walked out of the bathroom with ever turning around.
After school, in the Evansmobile…
Sam waited as long as it was necessary for Christine to get safely in the car before pulling away from McKinley High as quickly as he could, his hands itching on the steering wheel and his ipod blasting.
"Some stupid chick in the checkout line
was paying for beer with nickels and dimes
and some old man who clipped coupons
had argued whenever they wouldn't take one.
All I wanted to do was buy some cigarettes
but I couldn't take it anymore so I left."
As soon as Christine registered the first verse of the song that was playing, she knew her brother was not going to be in anything that would be described as a good mood.
"…want to talk about it?" she offered.
"No…yes…no," Sam was irritably shaking his hair out of his eyes.
"Why are there large purple stains all over your clothes?" she asked quietly.
"Slushie," he said simply.
"Sam, I think you're driving in the wrong direction," she said as gently as she could.
"I'm not!" he practically shouted, before realizing that she was right. "Aw, fuck." He then turned the car around in a very abrupt and incredibly illegal U-turn that left many angry honks in their wake.
"Sam, why don't you pull over and let me drive?" Christine was now gripping the dashboard, eyes wide.
"No! Why should I?"
"Because you're scaring the crap out of me!" Christine shouted as the car went up on the curb when Sam tried to make a left turn.
This outburst seemed to snap Sam out of his mood a little and he shifted guiltily.
"Sorry, Chrissy, it won't happen again," he mumbled.
"Just…just pull over and let me drive, ok?"
"Fine…just…fine," he grumbled and complied.
Christine got behind the wheel and immediately turned the music down and pulled away from the curb in the most cautious way possible.
"All the people on the street, I hate you all,
and the people that I meet, I hate you all,
and the people that I know, I hate you all,
and the people that I don't, I hate you all.
Oh, I hate you all."
The music continued and Christine shook her head. This was one hell of a mood her brother was in.
"You shouldn't be driving," Sam said suddenly. "You don't have your license yet. You don't even have your permit."
"You taught me how to drive last year so I'd always be able to get somewhere in case of an emergency," she replied.
"You're fifteen. I shouldn't be letting you drive. What if we get pulled over?"
"We're far more likely to get pulled over with you driving than with me."
"What's got into you today? I've never seen you like this."
"I just…had a bad day. Guys on the football team and stuff," he muttered without much conviction.
"You have to stop caring about what those guys think," she said. "They don't like you because you won't bully other people. You're too nice of a guy to ever get along with them so you should stop trying to get their approval."
"It's easy for you to say," he snapped. "You don't have to play on the same team as them."
"I'm not saying start fights with them," she said. "I know you don't want to give up football. But you don't have to care about them off the field. You've got friends. You've got Glee."
"God, you're bitchy today," she said it lightly, trying to tease him into a better mood. "What, are you PMSing or something? You know what I think? I think you've got a crush!"
Sam grunted and turned away.
"No denial!" she cried gleefully. She didn't really believe he had a crush on anyone, but he had stopped shouting at her so she figured teasing him was working him out of his funk. "Alright, homegirl, so whose the lucky guy?"
"Don't ever use the phrase 'homegirl' again, even if you are joking…and it's not a guy!" he added indignantly at the end.
"Wait…" she said, perplexed. "I was just kidding…but there really is someone? Who is she?"
"Wait…no, I mean…no. There's…there's no one, I don't even like girls. I mean…I like girls. I just don't like anyone. I mean, I like people…I just don't like…no, there's no one."
As Christine pulled into the driveway, she gave her stuttering brother a wicked grin.
"Ah! The source of your bad mood discovered!" she sighed happily.
"And the people in the west, I hate you all,
and the people I like best, I hate you all.
Oh, I hate you all."
"Shut the hell up, Chrissy," Sam muttered half-heartedly while his sister continued to grin and pester him all the way into the house.
The next day…
Sam sat in study hall next to Finn, going over his French homework and desperately wishing he hadn't pissed off the one person who had been willing to tutor him. He was concentrating so hard he almost shouted in surprise when a note hit him in the back of the head. Picking it up, he looked around as to who could have thrown it, but everyone around him seemed to be intently working. Odd.
Finn was apparently busy trying to remember what FOIL stood for because he was muttering about it under his breath. He seemed so absorbed in his work; Sam figured it was probably useless to ask him if he'd seen who had thrown the note. One way to find out, then. Sam slowly opened the note to see what it said.
Hey, Bieber Cut.
You, me, Brit.
Breadstix. 7 tonight.
Sam stared at the note, trying as hard as he could to understand its contents.
"You alright, man?" Finn whispered to him. Sam quickly slipped the note under his French homework and nodded.
"Yeah, fine," he replied. "It's just this stupid language, you know?"
"I thought Kurt was helping you out with that?" Finn asked.
"Erm…well I think I may have pissed him off a bit, actually," Sam admitted.
"Oh, has he been really bitchy to you, too, lately?" Finn asked. "Yeah, I don't know what's up with him but he has not been pleasant. I'll talk to him, don't worry."
"You don't have to do that, I'm fine," Sam said hurriedly.
"No," Finn said firmly. "You're my boy and Kurt's been acting way out of line lately. It's not your fault."
"I don't want you to get into a fight with him or anything…" Sam was desperate for Finn to not try and persuade Kurt to go back to tutoring him. As much as he needed the help academically, he didn't want to upset Kurt any more than he already was.
"Yeah…he threw a lamp at my head last night because I said that I didn't see what the big deal was about Madonna," Finn shook his head. "Trust me, my lovely brother and I are way passed the 'not fighting' point. I'll work it out. Gotta make sure you stay academically eligible, don't I?"
Mr. Stephens chose that moment to chide both of them for their whispered conversation and so Sam did not have another opportunity to protest.
Later, in the hallway…
Someone slammed Sam's locker shut just has he was about to put away his French textbook.
"Hey, Bieber Cut," Santana Lopez's no nonsense voice cut into his thought of 'what the hell just happened?'
"…Santana," he replied, slowly realizing she was the one that had hit him with the note and wondering what she possibly could have meant by it.
"You'll be there, right?" she said forcefully.
"God, you're slow," she rolled her eyes. "Breadstix. With me and Brit."
"I thought you said I have no game?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Listen, botox lips, you are possibly the least charming person I've ever met. I mean it. Sometimes you're so awkward, it makes me want to die of second hand embarrassment," she tossed her hair. "But Brit thinks you're cute, for god knows what reason, and I'm trying to make it up to her, ok?"
"Good. Don't be late. And don't forget your wallet," she turned to walk away but was interrupted by his voice.
"Um…I'm sorry, but…are we going on some kind of date or something?"
She turned back around only long enough to roll her eyes and mouth "oh my god" before tossing her hair again and leaving Sam standing there, still a little confused about what had just happened.
That afternoon, in the library…
"No, Finn. I won't do it."
"Come on, Kurt. Stop being so difficult."
"Just butt out!"
"We need him for Sectionals!"
"I don't care!"
Sam wondered idly if Finn and Kurt knew he could hear them. He figured they didn't and they would probably even be pretty embarrassed to learn that he was listening in on them. He was working by himself at a table in the corner and the two brothers were having a whispered argument behind a stack of books rather close by. Sam could hear every word.
"God, what is up with you lately, Kurt?"
"None of your business!"
"Fine, don't tell me, but don't take out your issues on Sam! He's a good guy and we need him to compete."
"I don't care."
"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? This is Glee we're talking about! Since when do you not care about Glee?"
"Just go over there and help him. Really. He needs your help and I thought you two were friends!"
"You thought wrong!"
Now that one stung. Sam shifted uncomfortably and wondered if they were wrapped up in their own conversation enough that they wouldn't notice him sneaking out of the library.
"Fine, if you won't do it for him or for Glee…will you at least do it for me?"
Sam thought that was an awfully strange way for Finn to word that request. There was silence for a minute.
"God, fine, you know what? If you're going to be such a jerk about it, I'll do it if it'll shut you the hell up."
A few seconds later Kurt stormed angrily over to the table Sam was working at and slammed his books down so loudly it garnered one wicked glare from the librarian. Finn stayed behind the stack of books, unsuccessfully trying to remain inconspicuous and spy on the two other boys to make sure everything went alright. Kurt stared directly at Finn, made an impatient noise in the back of his throat and started tapping his foot, pointedly jerking his head in the direction of the door. Finn reluctantly left and Sam's only thought was that at least the librarian was still there to witness his murder.
"Listen up, Evans," Kurt snapped, finally taking a seat at the table. "I'm only here because of Finn. This in no way should make you think I've forgiven you."
"I would never think that," Sam said, eyes wide and body completely still. He wasn't sure why, but he was suddenly incredibly afraid of making sudden movements.
"Also, I'm supposed to apologize to you for, and I quote, 'going all bitch-crazy' on you," Kurt snorted.
"Do you always do everything your older brother tells you to?" Sam knew this probably wasn't the wisest thing to say, but he couldn't help it.
"Shut up," Kurt snapped and Sam thought it was odd that Finn was such a sensitive subject for Kurt. They were just brothers, right?
"Right…anyway, you don't have to stay," Sam said. "I know you don't want to."
"I know about your date with Santana and Brittany," Kurt said bluntly.
Damn, Sam thought, news travels fast here…
"You got anything to say about that?" Kurt asked him.
"No, no I don't," Sam said, annoyed. It wasn't like he and Kurt were dating. What right did he have to be pissed about him going out with someone else? And how did he even know, anyway? Had he been gossiping with the girls about him?
"Then I'll be going," Kurt said, collecting his books. "You'll tell Finn I helped, right?"
"Yeah, not that I understand why you care so much about what he thinks, but yeah. I'll tell him you're a real pal," Sam bit back.
"Santana and Brittany are just playing you. I hope you know that," Kurt said coldly.
"What would you know about it?" hissed Sam.
"It's what they always do," Kurt said. "Brittany has a record to keep."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Brittany's made out with almost everyone in school, boys and girls. Even one of the janitors," Kurt said. "She only wants you to take her out because she's got a rep to protect."
Sam didn't know if this was true or not but it wouldn't surprise him. Still, he had the sudden urge to win this fight at any cost.
"What would you know about girls, anyway?" Sam shot back. "You're the queerest person I've ever met. What would you know about why Brittany asked me out?"
"This is what Brit and Santana do. The entire school knows it. It's their thing. They don't care about you. Brit just wants a perfect record and Santana just wants a free meal at Breadstix."
Sam just barely registered the fact that Kurt even knew what restaurant Santana had asked him to go to…they really must do this a lot.
"So? I get to take out two hot girls and if what you're saying is true then I'll be guaranteed in making out with at least one of them," Sam hissed. "Maybe I don't care if they're playing me. Maybe it's exactly what I want."
"You're disgusting," and with that, Kurt slung his bag over his shoulder and stalked out of the library.
Sam sat there for a moment, then quickly started to gather all of his things together. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't let Kurt have the last word on this. He left the library as quick as he could but Kurt was nowhere in sight when he reached the hallway. Sam thought for a minute. Kurt couldn't go home yet, because that would mean running into Finn who would then know that Kurt hadn't really been tutoring Sam. Kurt might just drive around in his car for a while, in which case Sam had little to no hope of finding him…but there was somewhere else in the school Kurt was much more likely to go to blow of some steam and waste some time before leaving.
As Sam approached the choir room, he heard music. He wasn't close enough yet to tell if it was Kurt or not, but at least he knew someone was in there. Even if it wasn't Kurt, maybe it was someone he could talk to…
"You said you wanted more than I could bring,
more than birds can sing.
You said you needed time to find yourself
but you found someone else."
Nope, that voice was definitely Kurt's. And he sounded pissed.
"You said I was your one and only,
You said with me that you'd never be lonely
and I drank in every lie.
I am sorry... I am sorry.
So here I'm apologizing
but one question keeps on rising,
Sam stood frozen at the door as he watched Kurt belt out the song. So much frustration and anger all pouring out. He had never seen him like this before. Kurt usually sang such…pretty songs. Kurt's voice was always high and angelic, smooth and just…pretty. The way he was singing this was anything but pretty.
"We've built this tower. You built the steps of sand.
You don't care where I land.
You're holding someone else's hand."
Sam had intended to yell at Kurt when he found him. He had wanted to shout at him that Kurt had no right to expect anything from him, Sam had told him as much. He wanted to shout that this was his life, not Kurt's and if he wanted to go on a million dates with Santana and Brittany then it was absolutely none of Kurt's business and he could go fuck himself.
But instead, Sam turned away. He could still hear the echoes of Kurt's song as he walked down the hallway. He knew he was an awkward person. Everyone he'd ever met had told him that. But he always thought there were worse things he could be. He had never thought of himself as a bad person. But he couldn't help but feel as though he had broken Kurt's heart. He had kissed him, then ran away, then told him he might like him then agreed to go on a date with not one other person but two. Maybe he had strung Kurt along. And if he had, he knew that made him one of the worst kinds of people. Sam wondered, not for the first time, what the fuck he was doing with his life, anyway.
"You said I was you're one and only.
You said with me that you'd never be lonely
and I drank in every lie.
I am sorry... I am sorry.
Here I'm apologizing
but one question keeps on rising.
Why... tell me why."
Songs (in order of appearance):
Start Wearing Purple by Gogol Bordello
I Hate Everyone by Get Set Go
I'm Sorry by Beecake
(A/N: Let me know how I'm doing with Sam. He turned out to be a completely different character than I thought he was going to be based on the pilot. Now I'm trying to write him more like the character we've been seeing recently but I don't think I'm succeeding.)