A/N: I was supposed to update this chapter two days ago but it got procrastinated, err. Well, this probably will be my last update in a while since I'm gonna get very busy starting next week. I should be back in November, hopefully. But who knows, I tend to want to write more stuffs when I'm under stress (like I am right now XD, I've been updating like crazy in the past two weeks XD).
And thank you all for the great reviews. It seems these days getting reviews has become harder and harder in this fandom in general (which to be honest is a bit discouraging). So I really appreciate every review I get from my readers. You guys are awesome. You guys made me feel that I haven't yet been abandoned by my readers despite the fact I'm not a good author since I don't update as frequently as I should be.
Err, sorry I rambled too much. Now enjoy the latest chapter of Emptiness. Personally I really like this chapter though it was big pain to write. Sorry for the poor English and any errors. Review please?
BTW, this chapter is why this story is rated M…so you are warned.
Chewing on his pen again, Roxas felt even more agitated. There was definitely something wrong about Sora. Staying out late, dying hair into black, isolating himself from others - all these things were just not what a normal Sora would have done. Roxas had made a decision to talk to Sora during the day today, he should go to ask Sora about what happened, but now he was hesitating, as if something bad would happen if he went to see Sora now. It was like his intuition was warning him, warning him to stay away from Sora. Why? Roxas always had a sharp instinct of avoiding danger. That was what helped him survive through his year in the Organization, survive through countless dangerous missions the Organization had put on him. He always trusted his instinct, but should he listen to it this time too?
The whole house was eerily quite. Roxas almost jumped from his chair when a sudden sharp noise from the bathroom ripped apart the silent air.
It was a sound of glass breaking. The sharp harsh sound almost pierced Roxas' eardrums, causing the hairs on his neck back all stand up on end.
The bathroom? Sora?
Before he even realized himself, his body was on action. Roxas rushed out his own room, racing towards the bathroom, completely forgot about what his instinct told him not to do.
When he rushed into the bathroom, he saw a half-naked Sora standing there, his exposed back facing Roxas while his face was facing towards the mirror, or, what's left of the mirror.
The mirror that was used to be hung on the wall above the washbasin was now shattered into millions of broken pieces, scattering on the bathroom floor. The remaining pieces on the wall were reflecting and multiplying Roxas' stunned expression, as well as an emotionless face that was hidden under the shadows of black bangs.
Sora's right hand was bleeding. Scarlet liquid streamed down along his slim long fingers, dripping onto the floor. The narrow space of the bathroom was soon tainted with the iron smell of blood.
Roxas gasped in surprise.
"Sora, what the heck happened?"
Blood-dripping fingers twitched, the black-haired boy slightly turned his head to the side, but didn't answer the blond teen's question as he remained silent. Roxas couldn't see his expression clearly under those shadow-casting black spikes.
"I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."
The knuckle of Sora's right hand was cut and bleeding. It was Sora who hit and broke the mirror. Being a smart kid as Roxas was, he quickly figured this out. Though he seriously wanted to ask him why, but not now, now he had to help Sora stop bleeding at first.
At the moment he turned on his heels, the raven teen suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him from leaving the room.
Confused by the other's action, Roxas wanted to turn his head, yet again was cut off as a pair of strong arms embraced his body from behind, tightly. Roxas completely froze when he sensed the other teen's warm breath blowing against the crook of his neck.
…I need you.
His murmur was deep and low. Roxas couldn't tell whether he heard it, or the words were indeed entering in his mind directly, echoing in his heart. Sora's voice was so deep, broken, and sad, crying for help.
Never had he have such a close physical contact with anybody, Roxas froze at not knowing what to do or how to react. He had never been embraced by anyone like this before, feeling another person's body warmth so close. And he could clearly feel that, Sora was…shaking.
"So..Sora? What are you…? W-why are you…"
Roxas called the other's name again, hoping to get some response from the other teen. But Sora only responded by hugging him even tighter, so tight like a drowning man clenching a life preserver and holding on it for dear life.
Not used to this type of body-to-body contact, Roxas felt rather uneasy. It was way too unusual. Sora's embrace was frightening him.
…Roxas, I need you.
…I can't do this alone anymore.
Frowning, he was so confused at the words echoing in his mind. This couldn't be Sora. Sora would never sound so weak and helpless. Sora was never weak! He was the hero of Light, a boy who was able to keep shining on his own with the brightest smile on his face even in the worst darkest situation. He even brought Light to the Realm of Darkness! How could he sound so vulnerable and helpless? How could he be asking for help? He was the one who was always helping and saving others, not the other way around. He shouldn't be and couldn't be so broken like this!
Shaking body, burning heat, needing whispers, helpless cries. All was too foreign to Roxas, too foreign and confusing that frightened him.
…Roxas, save me, I need you.
…I need you.
…I need you!
I NEED YOU.
No, it can't be. No, I don't believe it. No, Sora would never ever need a Nobody like him!
"No, Sora! Let go of me!"
Roxas started struggling hard, trying desperately to get away from Sora's embrace. This can't be right. This isn't happening. Is Sora trying to mess around with him? Is he just playing some kind of sick joke on him?
Angered for unknown reason, Roxas pushed the black-haired boy away hard. When their bodies separated, he finally got to see the expression on Sora's face.
Cerulean eyes widened, full of disbelief, pain, hurt, and despair.
Sora quickly lowered his head, backing up couple steps. His bare feet stepped onto the broken glass, yet he seemed not noticing or caring.
"I'm sorry Roxas, I…"
He said with a broken shaking voice. Bleeding hand was now clenching his own forehead, fingers digging into the black hair, digging into the scalp forcefully, the strong smell of blood stimulating his every nerve ending.
"I'm…very sorry, I just…I…"
His other hand suddenly grasped his left chest hard, nails digging into the flesh, back arching. Sora threw himself on his knees as they lost all force to support himself. The heavy thump in his chest was resonating with the agony of being rejected, crashing him, smashing him, that he could no longer hold the pain anymore.
Roxas had never seen Sora being so hurt. He had never seen such desperation in that pair of cerulean eyes. All made him feel confusing, guilty, and…regretting. But he wasn't able to think much as he was soon stunned by the black aura that suddenly started emitting from Sora's arching body.
"Fuck!" Letting out an angry groan, Sora grasped his head with both hands. His features twisted in pain. His face was stained with blood. Roxas was horrified by the ferocious expression that was now across the once handsome young face.
"Roxas! Get away from me, NOW!"
Sora growled like a desperate injured animal. But his warning only froze Roxas even more. Instinct was telling him to follow Sora's warning, to run away from him immediately, but he just couldn't move his body anymore.
"S-Sora, are you falling into the Darkness?"
The boy in front of him was now completely enveloped by the ominous dark aura. A sudden realization struck Roxas – Sora's black hair, he didn't dye it.
"Run! Just fucking run away! Run, run, run! I can't hold him back any more!"
Over-flowing negativity, flooded emotions, everything falling apart, limit breaking. He was on edge of losing control. But he couldn't. He couldn't lose control in front of Roxas, he just couldn't allow himself to lose control in front of him.
"Why don't you understand? I don't wanna hurt you!"
I don't want to hurt you!
A single redtear rolled down Sora's face as he shouted in despair.
- HmphHmphHmphHmph, poor Sora, how pathetic you are. Still want to protect him even after being rejected?
- You are indeed too kind for your own good.
- But, my dear Sora…
- The game is over now.
- You. LOST.
"No, Vanitas! NO!"
It was now too late for him to run away. Roxas was pinned down to the floor before he even realized. Both wrists being pinned above his head, white shirt being ripped off from his body, Roxas couldn't understand how this was happening, why this was happening. Sapphiric eyes widened in horror, looking at the black-haired boy hovering on top of him in disbelief. He saw nothing but emptiness in that pair of melt golden eyes, so empty that it almost felt unreal. But the stings from his back, the prickling pain caused by the broken glass under his back reminded him that this was all happening for real.
"Stop Sora, let go!"
He tried to struggle, feeling angered and embarrassed. But no matter how hard he writhed, the body above him pressed against him firmly, imprisoning him and wouldn't let him go free. Fear started magnifying as he struggled in vain. The fear of unknown frightened him to no end. What was he doing to him?
When his lips were sealed by another pair of tanned lips, Roxas' mind went blank. His shirt was completely torn open, exposing the pale skin of his chest. When the other boy's bare muscular chest pressed against his own, he almost jumped. The electric thrill caused by the skin-to-skin contact petrified him. He panicked at how good it felt as the other's lips moving against his own lips. But his mind was yelling at him that he shouldn't feel this way. The kiss was forced. He shouldn't feel good over something that was forced upon him. He should resist, so he did. He tried to shake his head side to side, trying to not let the other's lips touch him, trying to avoid the raven boy's kiss. But no matter how hard he tried, the other always managed to capture him between his lips. And his resistance only angered the black-haired teen.
He kissed him harder, turning the kiss into a more brutal and fierce one. He bit on his lower lip mercilessly, causing his lips parted in attempt to yell in pain. And he took the chance, tongue pushing straight into the blond boy's cavern immediately.
Roxas was beyond shocked when he felt his tongue was being stroked by the hot and wet thing that invaded his mouth. He realized it was Sora's tongue. A sick feeling started boiling in his stomach, the realization made him want to puke. He wanted to break away, but he couldn't bite the invader as his jaw was held still by the other. So he used his own tongue attempting to fight against the muscle that was wiping every corner of his cavern. But soon he realized his action only satisfied the other as the fighting ended up to be more like an erotic tongue-dancing as the muscles swirling around each other, like he was kissing him back.
Roxas felt his cheeks were burning, all flushed, either from the shame or from lack of oxygen, that he didn't know. Sora kept stirring in his mouth, taking away his every breath, forcing his tongue to dance with his. It was electrical, unbelievably intense. Roxas couldn't help but shut his eyes close, which only intensified the electric feeling created by the tongue-to-tongue contact. He shivered at the sensual feeling. He couldn't allow himself to enjoy this, but everything was so novel to him that he didn't know what else he could do. The feeling was just too overwhelming and suffocating that intoxicated his mind. He had never felt so violated, so exposed, so helplessly vulnerable.
Sora was tasting every corner of his mouth, devouring him. And he could taste Sora's saliva as well. He even noticed that the taste of Sora's spit changed over the prolonged kiss, it changed as the kiss getting more and more passionate, violent and fierce. All he could felt now was Sora's touch, Sora's taste, Sora's smell. All of his perceptions were taken over by Sora. Roxas felt he couldn't breath anymore, couldn't even swallow. Unswallowed excess saliva finally started spilling over from the corner of his mouth. He wanted to breathe. He needed oxygen. He squirmed helplessly underneath Sora, trying to make protesting noises which only turned into strangled moans.
Just when Roxas thought he would stop breathing, Sora finally released him. Before he could say anything through the heave panting, a feeling of fear soon replaced the disgusting feeling in his stomach as he found Sora was looking at him in such an animalistic way that as if he was his prey.
The sadistic smirk curling up around the corner of black-haired teen's lips completely froze him. Roxas realized he really was going to be harmed, terribly harmed. The vicious intension of harming him was so clearly written in that pair of crazy gold, and what scared him all the more was that the black-haired teen wasn't even trying to hide his intension a single bit.
Straddling the blond boy, the black-haired Sora let go of the blond's wrists, moving both his hands to circle around Roxas' delicate pale neck.
"Give back my heart."
He whispered mysterious words into the blond boy's ears. Roxas' sapphiric eyes widened in fear. Force was being applied around his neck, grip gradually tightening. He was strangling him.
Roxas struggled again for his life, his hands desperately trying to pry the fingers off his neck. Blue eyes soon filled up with tears as he was being choked. He could feel his consciousness and life was swiftly slipping away from his body. If he was going to die, he wanted at least to ask why. Why, Sora?
But he didn't die. Sora released him again at the last moment. Cold fresh air rushed back into his windpipes, causing him to cough uncontrollably.
Watching as the blond coughing pathetically, the black-haired teen laughed out loud happily, as if he so enjoyed watching the blond teen suffer. The twisted spastic crazy laughter echoed around the whole house, making Roxas' blood running cold.
"I'm going to fuck you hard."
The black-haired boy hunched over Roxas' frame again, lips close to the blond's ear, claiming his next plan with the blond as he whispered the cruel words one by one.
Roxas' body started shaking uncontrollably at the claim. Overwhelming fear struck him like brick. Lips being sealed again as he kissed him hard, Roxas felt a cold hand roaming all over his exposed body while the other hand went down to undo his pants.
He was going to be raped, raped by the one who was supposed to be the closest person to him in this universe.
"No, Sora! Please No!"
He screamed in terror. He used all the power he could forge to fight against the vicious deed the black-haired teen was forcing upon him, but this black-haired Sora was simply too strong, too powerful. The other used his whole body to restrain him. The more he struggled, the more happily he grinned. His power was no match to this sadistic monster.
His dignity was being torn apart. His mind was clouded by chaotic confusion, fear, shame, and despair. He even begged him, begging him to stop. He couldn't care more that the broken glass was cutting his body and arms as he struggling, the physical pain was nothing compared to what's hurting his heart.
He didn't understand. Why would Sora do such terrible things to him against his will? Why did it have to turn out to be like this for them?
The tears that he had been holding so long finally fell down his cheeks as he shut his eyes close in despair.
"Please Sora, please stop…"
All of sudden, the pressure was gone. The restrain on his wrists, the pressure over his body, everything was gone. The blond boy who almost gave up already slowly re-opened his eyes, only found a pair of gentle cerulean eyes gazing at him, full of sorrow and pain. The dark aura around the boy's body was turning disorderly and seemingly fading away.
"I'm sorry Roxas. It's all my fault. I'm being too weak."
The blue-eyed raven boy smiled at him bitterly. His trembling voice sounded so far away from him. He got off from his body, right hand reaching out. Soon, strings of silver light wrapped around his palm and materialized into a giant key that appeared in his right hand.
"But I will not allow myself to hurt you again, never, ever."
Looking determined, the raven teen lifted and turned around the keyblade, pointing it towards his own heart. A golden ball of light started forming around the tip of the keyblade.
As if he vaguely realized what the other boy was trying to do, Roxas felt his heart clenched by a sudden pain of fear, a different type of fear, a fear of losing something dear to him.
"No, Sora, you don't…"
The said boy only flashed him a toothful grin, a bright grin he'd been long missing. Sora closed his blue eyes as a beam of light shooting from the keyblade penetrated his chest.
The dark aura that was surrounding Sora's body instantly turned into strings of dazzling silver light along with the dematerializing keyblade. Sora slowly fell onto the ground as his body being wrapped in bright light.
- Yes Vanitas, I lost. But you didn't win either.
- As long as he's unhurt, I'm willingly to pay any price. I'll protect him at any cost.
I'm sorry Roxas. I've been a fool all along. I said I want to protect you. Even though I can't be the one who bring back happiness to you, I still wished that I could at least keep you away from any harm. But after all, I AM the one who's always hurting you. I AM the one who has hurt you the most.
Maybe this is the best ending for both of us. From now on, you won't be hurt by me anymore.
Please, forgive me.