Welcome to chapter 9 - I must say I love Edward in this - even if I did write it hahaha

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Chapter 9

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath, when he opened them again he search out mine, trying to see the lie behind my words, I'm not afraid of you, I told him again, silently this time causing a huge smile split across his face.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he told me smugly and I had a feeling that maybe I shouldn't torment a. . .vampire. . .holy shit, E's a vampire! "I'm not the only vampire in this room, love," he laughed.

"Oh God," I gasped as I was pulled off Edwards knee and spun around in a circle so fast I thought that my head might just fly off.

"Emmett, you're gonna hurt her you idiot," Edward growled pulling me back out of Emmett's version of a spin cycle, I automatically buried my head in his chest, trying to stop the dizziness from landing me in a rather embarrassing face plant.

"Naw, she's fine, aren't you, Squirt?" Emmett laughed, "She use to love that when she was little,"

"Umm," I muttered weekly. Before I knew what was happening I had been pulled out of Edwards arms once again – I was really starting to dislike this family!

"Oh, Bella, I'm so excited that you finally know everything, we are gonna have so much fun," Alice chirped as she bounced us both up and down.

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, Alice, there is still a lot the Bella doesn't know, come, princess, sit back down and I will try and explain everything as best as I can," Carlisle said gesturing to the couch where I had been sat next to Edward, but before I could moved towards it Esme reached out her hand and I took it willingly letting her pull me down on the couch, she wrapped her cold arm around me and pulled me into her as she gently ran her fingers through my hair.

"Bella, the first thing I think that you should know is that our family is different from others of our kind, we call ourselves vegetarians, choosing to live on the blood of animals which is the reason behind the colour of our eyes, vampires that survive on human blood have red eyes. You should know that we only know one other coven that chose the same way of life that we do," Carlisle explained.

"Why if you can live on animal blood, do others continue to feed on humans?" That was a logical question right?

"Living on the blood of animals is like a human living on tofu, it keeps you strong, but never fully. . .satisfied," Edward explained.

"So you're always hungry?"

"Thirsty, would be the best way to describe it, but no, animal blood will quench the thirst, you will know when are thirsty as our eyes turn black, but there is always a burn in the back of our throats, that only human blood can truly eradicate." he continued to explain.

"So you were thirsty today?" I asked remembering how his eyes tuned black.

"No," he whispered but didn't offer anything further.

"Then. . ." I started but Jasper interrupted.

"A vampires eyes can turn black for a number of reasons, Little Darlin', thirst is just one of them, but anger, threat or. . .desire can have the same reaction." he explained. I tried to think back to the events in the hallway at school and suddenly remembered Edwards growl.

"So you were angry? Did I do something?" I didn't like the though of Edward being angry with me.

"No, Love I wasn't angry with you, when we're done here we'll take a walk and I'll explain it all to you then," Edward said, I nodded, taking a walk with just Edward sounded nice, he smiled at me warmly and then turned his attention back to Carlisle. I was starting to worry the my inner obsession with Edward would have him running for the hills.

"The true nature of vampires is to feed from humans, most do this conspicuously but there are some, like the one that attacked your mother, who are pure evil and those are the best words to describe what he was." Carlisle continued

"Was?" I asked.

"No matter how our kind choose to live their existence, attempting to feed from an infant is morally wrong, now I'm not saying that I think what we did was right, but he left us no choice. After the rest of us arrived at the scene, I took care of your mother, Esme and Rose brought you back here out of the cold night and the boys took care of him, tearing us apart and burning the pieces is the only way to kill us. The majority of what you know about vampires is myth, sunlight doesn't hurt us, neither does garlic, holy water or a stake to the heart, the sunlight does have an effect on our skin and I'm sure you will see that on the next sunny day we have, but what that means is that we can't be out in public, you'll see why," Carlisle explained gently, "We don't sleep at all, let alone in coffins, we have advance hearing, sight, strength and speed and some of us like Edward, Alice and Jasper have additional abilities," he continued.

"Can you all read minds?" I asked, Alice seemed to be able to read mine earlier.

"No, Little Darlin', Ed is the only one of us that can do that. I'm what you would call an empath, I can feel and manipulate the emotions in a room." Jasper told me,

"Have you changed my emotions?" I asked, needed to know if the calm I was feeling now was my own or not.

"No – well I may have given you a little extra annoyance in the cafeteria this afternoon," he chuckled, I gawked at him remembering being pissed off at Jessica and Lauren in the lunch room today. "Sorry," he laughed.

"How about you, Ali?" I asked turning away from Jasper.

"I have visions of the future, they're subjective depending on peoples decisions, the weather and stock markets are a walk in the park, but people change their mind all the time, only some things in life are certain, like soul mate's, my first vision when I awoke to this life was of Jasper," she turned and smiled at him.

"So you're psychic?" I asked.

"Yep," she said popping the P, "I had a vision the night of the vampire attack and told Carlisle about it, he collected some blood from the hospital and we all came up to Forks."

"When we arrived at the scene, your mom was in a bad shape, princess, the only way to stop her becoming what we are was to suck the venom that the nomad vampire had left behind and she was already dangerously low on blood – hence the need for extra from the hospital, like I said Esme and Rose brought you back here, Alice and I helped your mom and Edward helped your dad. You were all here for a week whilst your mom recovered, we talked to your dad the following day and your mom when she had regained her strength. You weren't put down for a week, always sleeping in one of our arms – you were really an adorable baby," Carlisle explained.

"Venom like from a snake bite? I asked.

"I suppose so yes, when we are changed, venom replaces all of the fluid in our bodies, it is most potent in our mouths and when we feed it's purpose is to incapacitate our prey and if left to spread through the blood stream it works throughout the body, strengthening and changing the cells and after three days the victim awakens to this life. I changed, Edward in nineteen eighteen in a hospital in Chicago where he was dying of Spanish Influenza, Esme was next in Nineteen twenty one, we had met ten years earlier but she was only sixteen at the time and when I saw her lying in the morgue her heart still beating, after falling from a cliff I knew I had to save her. Rosalie was next in nineteen thirty three, I found her dying in a street in Rochester and brought her back thinking that she would be to Edward what Esme had become to me, but I should have known that it doesn't work like that. As vampires we never change, always staying the same, bringing over our personalities, like and dislikes et cetera from our human life. The only time we do change is when we find our mate, vampires mate for life, we love our mates unconditionally and irrevocably for all eternity, if one of us was to loose our mate, there would never be another. Rosalie found her mate in Emmett two years later when she was out hunting, Emmett had lost a fight with a bear and Rose carried him over a hundred miles to me and asked me to change him." As Carlisle was explaining about vampire mates a suddenly wondered whether Edward had found his or not, I knew that he could hear what I was thinking and could answer that question but I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. I suddenly felt sick, it didn't matter whether Edward had found his mate yet or not, Carlisle had just said that there was only one mate for a vampire and that meant that one day – maybe a hundred years from now – he would find her and that left the only place in his heart for me as the one reserved for another sister. I saw Jasper flinch and whip his head around in my direction, it didn't me long to realise that he was feeling the giant hole that had just been ripped open in my chest.

"Bella," Edward said jumping up suddenly, "How about we take that walk now, there is nothing you don't know at this moment that won't keep for another day," he said holding his hand out to me. I didn't know if I wanted to go with him anymore, I was beyond embarrassed that he knew everything that had just gone through my head and I didn't think that I was ready for a it's not you, it's me conversation.

"You should go with Edward, Bella," my mom told me and my dad nodded in agreement, I couldn't be upset with them for pushing me to go, they had no idea of the thought and emotion that were coursing through my body. Resigning myself to the fact that I was going to have to do this sooner or later I untangled myself from Esme's arms and took an unsteady step in Edwards direction.

"We won't be out late," Edward announced to the room as he took my hand and pulled me in the direction of the door. "Here, you might need this," he said as he wrapped a tan leather jacket around my shoulders. I instantly knew it was his, the unique fragrance that was all Edward was saturated into the material and I couldn't stop myself from pulling the scent deeply into my lungs as I fed my arms into the sleeves – of course it buried me.

"Thank you," I whispered, unable to quite find my voice, Edward smiled and searched out my hand under the heavy material.

"You're welcome," he whispered back just as quietly as he held the door open for me to pass through, he didn't let go of my hand though and right then – even though I knew that it would hurt even more later – I was willing to take all that I could get. I didn't know what this conversation was going to do to the thirteen year relationship that I have had with my E.

Edward was silent as we walked across the lawn at the front of the house, more than likely lost in his own thoughts and I tried desperately to keep my mind blank for both our sakes. We stopped at the entrance to the forest and he turned to look down at me.

"I'd really like to take you to a special place of mine, but it is about eight miles from here, up the mountain, out of the cloud bank and if we were to hike we wouldn't make it there and back before nightfall. We have our own way of travelling through the forest that I'd like to share with you, if you don't mind that is," he said quietly.

"You're not going to turn into a bat are you?" I tried to joke,

"Silly, Bella," he laughed "Hop on," he turned his back and crouched down, I gasped.

"I'm heavier then your average backpack," I told him, he looked at me over his shoulder and rolled his eyes fine but if you drop me, I'm going home for my present from Em and Jazz, I threatened silently, he must have seen the picture of the hair spray and flip lighter in my head because he suddenly barked out a laugh, I laughed with him and climbed onto his back. I now understood the joke behind the gift – after Carlisle explaining that fire was the only thing that could destroy a vampire. Why I would be dating one though I had no idea.

Edward stood, lifting me as though I weighed nothing, gripping my thighs, I automatically wrapped my arms and legs around him.

"This might be better if you close your eyes," he told me, I was a little apprehensive about what he was going to do, but I trusted him, so I did as he suggested and closed my eyes tight and buried my head in his neck – well he didn't tell me to do that, but I was like a drug addict needed another hit of his intoxicating scent.

Without further warning he was moving, but the only indication to that fact was the wind that was pulling my hair out behind me – it felt like I was flying. I couldn't resist the temptation to look so I twisted my head slightly and peaked one eye open – and closed it quickly. Edward was running and I'd hazard a guess that he was moving faster than any car I had ever been in, it was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. We were only in motion for about five minutes or so when I felt Edward slow to a stop.

"You can look now, love," he told be quietly. I reluctantly lifted my head from the crook of his neck – I would have been quite happy to stay there forever and briefly considered asking him to run to Alaska, I felt him chuckle but didn't give much thought to it, as I had opened my eyes and the sight before me was simply. . .majestic. "It is isn't it." he said.

"It's beautiful, Edward," I whispered as I unwrapped my legs from around his waist and slid to the ground. We were on the edge of a clearing, just in the tree-line, it was a near perfect circular meadow, the sun was shining down on the long grass and abundance of wild flowers that covered the ground, I had never seen anything like it.

Without conscious thought, I walked forward, brushing the palms of my hands across the feathery tips of the grass as I waded my way through the magnitude of colours. I jumped clutching at my chest as hundreds of butterflies took flight having been disturbed by my passing. I quickly spun around to face Edward, but he wasn't behind me, he was still stood in the shadows of the large fern trees that boarder the meadow. It was then that I remember what Carlisle had said about how the sunlight effects their skin. It won't hurt you will it? I asked him worriedly.

"No, love it doesn't hurt, but you have taken everything so well, I'm just worried that seeing me in the sunlight may finally push you over the edge. I was thinking that coming here wasn't the best idea – but seeing your face light up the way it was a moment ago, is causing me to rethink yet again. You truly are beautiful, love," he told me reverently. I was touched by his words and I could do nothing to stop the blush that spread across my cheeks, but I also couldn't handle his affections when I knew that my world would come crashing down around me at any moment. I heard him sigh and I prepared myself for the worst.

"I'll be fine, Edward," I told him but whether I was referring to to seeing him in the sunlight or my state after his big letdown, I had no idea, but I knew one of them was a lie. He didn't say anything, just nodded and stepped out into the sun.

I couldn't form thoughts, let alone words, if I thought the meadow was beautiful before, it paled in comparison to Edward beauty – to compare the two would be like comparing an arch angel to an accountant.

"Edward," I eventually breathed out, slowly making my way back toward him. His skin usually pale in its perfection, now sparkled, like millions of tiny diamonds had been embedded into his pores. I tentatively reached my hand out and cupped his cheek as I ran my thumb over the skin above his eyebrow, trying to feel the individual fragments, but it was as smooth as highly polished marble. "You're so beautiful," I sighed.

"Compared to you, love, I am nothing – without you, I am nothing," he whispered, I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but before I could ask him to stop making this harder than it already was, he sank down, cross legged into the long grass and pulled me down to straddle his waist. He cupped my cheek and wiped two stray tears away with him thumbs. "You wanted to ask me before, whether or not I had found my mate, I can tell you that I have," I didn't want to hear anymore and tried to shake my head to tell him to stop but he held on to me firmly – but gently – but he could do nothing for my tears now, they were relentless and the pain in my chest unbearable. "I met her almost eighteen years ago, she was so tiny, so beautiful even then and I was completely captivated by her, I just didn't understand why until the time came that I had to leave her. I was sat watching her sleep, she was five years old and every part of me was telling me to stay, to protect her but I knew that I didn't have a choice. It was her mother that came into her room while I was there, that told me what I had been denying for years. She told me that the precious angel that I had saved from death was mine, my true love, my mate, but no matter how much I wanted that to be true and how much she already owned me heart, body and soul I knew that she would never be mine unless she chose to give her heart to me," he continued on a whisper, I couldn't make sense of what he was telling me, my brain had almost completely shut down.

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered.

"Because I need to know, Bella, do you love me as I have always loved you? Are you mine, as your mother told me you were?" he breathed. The strangled sob that burst from my lips barely sounded human, and the tears that were streaming down my face were unstoppable all I could do was nod my head. I was his, I had always been his, I would always be his.

"As I am yours, my love – you are my life now," he told me before pulling my face down slowly and pressed his cool lips to mine. My arms that had been lying listlessly at my sides moved of their own accord around his neck and I sank my fingers into his soft bronze hair, trying desperately to hold him to me, terrified that this was all some amazing dream that I would wake from at any time. Me, I was Edwards mate, all of his gestures and words over the last God knows how many years now made perfect sense and every aspect of my life fell into place, each piece slotting seamlessly with his. But I didn't want to think about that now, I wanted to feel.

Any fear that Edward was going to pull away from me, melted when he moved his hands, that had been cupping my face, and wrapped one around my waist pulling me tightly against him and moved the other up into my hair. His lips didn't stop moving with mine, the kiss wasn't rushed or urgent it was slow and gentle and passionate, I gasped when I felt his smooth, ice cold tongue brush across my lips which in turn granted him entry into my mouth, our tongues dancing together like old lovers. I shifted slightly on his lap and a low moan vibrated deep in my throat when my most intimate part came into contact with his that was straining against the fabric of his jeans. He hissed at the contact and before I knew what was happening, I was on my back with Edward hovering over me, our bodies touching in all the right places. He broke the kiss for the first time in I don't know how long, he was breathing heavily, the look on his face almost feral and I felt my arousal pool between my thighs as his jet black eyes met mine.

He closed his eyes tightly as he steadied his breathing, when he reopened them I could see the gold seeping back in.

"I'm so sorry, Love," he whispered.

"Ssh," I shushed him, "Please, don't ever be sorry for that," I told him honestly, he could ravish me any time he liked. Edward laughed and rolled us on to our sides so that we were nose to nose with my leg draped over his and my head resting on his arm. I refused to break the contact.

"I love you, my Bella," he whispered as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I love you too, E," I whispered back.

"Are you sure this is the life you want? You're still so young, Bella, you can still have a normal human life, I can't give you things that a human man could," he sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, what could I possibly want that Edward couldn't give me?

"Children," he said sadly, "Regardless of the fact that I am here in the flesh – so to speak – I'm not alive, I don't have a beating heart or the means to reproduce."

"I don't care, Edward all I want is you," I told him honestly, he smiled softly as he stroked my face.

"You don't know how long I've waited for you," he murmured as he reached over to kiss me again.

"Edward?" I asked a while later, my head was now on his chest and he was running a finger softly up and down my spine, while I drew circles on his t-shirt covered stomach.

"Yes, love?" he was humouring me, I was sure that he already knew what I was going to ask, it had been playing in my mind for the past half an hour.

"Will you change me? To be like you I mean," I wasn't sure how my mom and dad would feel about that but I knew that one life time with Edward would never be enough. He kissed my forehead before he spoke.

"If it's what you want, love, then yes, when the time is right, I will change you," he promised. I snuggled further into him knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this was where I wanted to spend the rest of eternity.