Disclaimer: Where is he?

...Sir, he drove off the roof.


He drove off the roof!

Written for and dedicated to Mydarkreply. Hope it's up to your standards.

After the whole Apocalypse incident, things had calmed down between the X Men and the Brotherhood. That's not to say that they hung out at the bowling alley together or anything, but neither side intentionally went out of the way to antagonize the other. Although, it wasn't unusual for Rogue, Jamie, and Tabby to hang out with the Brotherhood at their place. The fact that Mystique hadn't been seen since she was left in Egypt and Wanda's assurances that she'd hex her if she showed up were the only reasons Rogue could go there.

As for the Acolytes, Piotr was staying with the X Men; no one cared where Sabertooth was except for Logan and that was because he wanted to stab him; as far as they knew, Gambit was still in Louisiana. As for the Pyro, they assumed he went back to Australia.

It was during one of Rogue and Jamie's visits to the Brotherhood house that there was a knock on the door. The knocking was a rare occurrence in and of itself since the door was never locked and everyone who knew that always walked right in. One might say, 'What about robbers?' To which the Brotherhood would say something insulting, question that person's mental capacity, and threaten to have Fred sit on him/her. Everyone knew that they were mutants and that they used their powers liberally. No one was that stupid.

From where most everyone except Wanda was lounging in the living room, they sent a look towards the door, willing for the knocking to go away or someone else to answer it.

"Get the door, Pietro," Lance ordered.

"You're not the boss of me. Rogue, you do it."

"I don't live here anymore, so I'll pass. Jamie?"

"What you just said. Can I have more soda?" Jamie asked in a high speed voice that almost made him sound like Pietro.

"How many have ya had?"


"Five," Jamie and Fred answered at the same time.

The knocking was still steadily going.

"If you answer the door, you can have as much soda as you want, kid," Todd promised.

"Okay!" Jamie jumped up, took a detour through the room skipping the whole way.

"TOAD! ANSWER THE STUPID DOOR!" Wanda yelled from upstairs.

"Sure thing, babycakes!" Todd practically tripped over himself to get to the door.

When Jamie saw that he might end up missing out on his precious caffeine fix, he lunged for Todd's legs tripping him up and creating two doubles of himself that then fought each other over who was going to answer the door. The others turned away from the TV to watch the spectacle. The knocking could still be heard over the struggling.

"Must I do everything myself?" Wanda yelled as she stomped down the stairs.

"Don't worry, Wands! I got it," Todd assured her as he tried to pry Jamie from his leg who was coaching his doubles to get the door.

Wanda ignored him as she made it to the foyer, pushed the two brawling Jamies aside and wrenched open the door. She had to look up in order the see the tall, red headed man in front of her.

"'Ello there, Sheila! Oi was beginnin' to think no one was home," a bright, Australian voice greeted her.

"NO! My soda!" Jamie wailed from inside.

"You…you work for my father," Wanda tilted her head and examined him. Big smile, blue eyes, blinding orange shirt with black fire on the front and baggy brown jeans tucked into brown combat boots. He had a lighter in his left hand that he kept flicking open and closed. There was a black, leather bag slung over his shoulder as well.

"Nope. Used to, not anymore. But here's the deal: yoahr ol' man don' offer any severance pay so Oi need a place t' stay. Then Oi thought t' myself 'Man, are y' screwed!' Ever'one Oi knows sans ol' Petey just poofed away. There's no way, I mean NO way, Oi'm gonna stay with those X-blokes. So Oi thought maybe my ol' pal Pietro would put me up for a couple weeks or months. Whichever comes last."

Wanda continued to stare at him a few moments after he stopped talking, not sure if he was done talking.

"Yoo-hoo! You there, Sheila?" he asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

She scowled at him and swatted his hand away.

"Don't do that."

"Wanda! Who's at the door?" Pietro called.

"It's…Uh, what's your name?"

"St. John Allderdyce the Pyro, luv. At yoahr service," he gave her a little mock bow. He straightened up abruptly. "Oi'm thinkin' Oi've hung out with that Cajun a bit too long. We gonna talk on the porch the 'ole toime or can Oi come in?"

"Oh, sorry," she stepped back, allowing him to enter.

Jamie was still on the floor, now rocking back and forth as he felt the effects of his caffeine crash. Todd was leaning on the banister railing, trying to look cool while glaring at the pyro.

"What's up with the little tyke?"

"Soda gone! Soda all gone!" Jamie cried.

"I guess that," Wanda replied.

"Aw, that's stuff's no good, kiddo! Evah 'ave tea?" Pyro asked.

"I hate tea," Jamie said.

"'Tis a pity with you Americans," Pyro tsked, shaking his head sadly. "Oi'll 'ave to fix that. Where's yoahr kitchen, luv? Nevermoind, Oi see it. Come along, junior," he turned and walked off, Jamie following out of curiosity.

Wanda watched him go, slightly unsure what happened.

"Wanda! Who was at the door?" Pietro called again.

"Why don't you get off your lazy butt and go see if you care so much?" Lance hollered.

"What's wi' all the yellin' in this house? 'Ow can ya expect me to live 'ere if you people are always screamin'?" Pyro yelled from the kitchen.

"Waitaminute!" Pietro zoomed to the entry of the living room. "I know that crazy voice."

He turned to his sister.

"Wanda, what's that insane Pyro doing in our house?"

"He says he needs a place to stay and since you're his friend, you'd let him stay here," she shrugged.

"I am most definitely not that guy's friend! Make him leave!"


"Because he'll burn the house down!"

"That would be an improvement, actually."

"Wands, you don't get it! The guy's a stark, raving nut."

"Seemed pretty normal to me."

"Well, duh, that's 'cause you –"

Wanda narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, feeling her temper flare.

"Because I what, Pietro? Finish it."

"Nevermind. Forget it."

"No!" Wanda stomped her foot, and her brother flinched. "What were you going to say? Answer me!" she threw her hands out, now glowing blue, and the rug running along the stairs snapped out and wrapped around Pietro and hanging him upside down from the ceiling.

"Hey! Wanda, calm down! You know when you get like this, we have to call Agatha for HELP!" he yelled the last part.

During this, Todd had moved away from the stairs to stand behind Wanda. When Pietro had started yelling, the others in the living room had gotten up finally to see if they would need to leave the house because of imminent collapse soon.

"What you do this time?" Fred asked.

"Nothing! Wanda, you're overreacting. Just cal –"

"Do NOT tell me to calm down!"

The pictures on the wall, the curtains on the windows, and the chandelier began to be affected by her foul mood.

"Wanda, it's okay," Rogue tried to soothe her, stepping from out of the relative safety of the living room.

"All roight, what's going on?" Pyro walked back to the foyer to see Todd cowering behind the wall, the others peeking from out of the living room, Pietro stuck to the ceiling and turning red in the face at this point, and Wanda all in the middle of it.

Without the slightest hesitation, Pyro walked right up to Wanda and tapped her on the shoulder. She rounded on him, breathing heavily and looking absolutely livid. She was about to raise her hand to hex him but he gently caught her wrist.

"Don'cha think that's a'nough o' all that, luv?" he looked her in the eyes, and his voice was calm and gentle. Wanda found her breathing evening out, her fury ebbing away to the point she couldn't even remember why she was angry in the first place. The items she'd hexed all fell to the ground, the rug holding Pietro captive included.

Once Pietro landed, he sent Wanda a fearful glance, took to his feet, shot over to the door, and was about to run out.

"Pie, wait!" Wanda called after him. "I– I'm sorry! I'm…I'm sorry," she pulled away from Pyro and retreated up the stairs almost as fast as her brother.

Pietro shut the door and leaned against it, bowing his head in his hands. Rogue was about to follow her friend but Pyro stopped her.

"'No, lemme talk to her," he glanced at Rogue and recognizing her, said, "Ey, yoah're that Rogue girl Remy's ahlways goinin' on and on and on and on about!"

Rogue's eyebrows shot up near to her hairline. Gambit talked about her?

"Well, off to talk to Wanda! Later," and with that he bounded up the stairs before Rogue could think to respond.

"Why is he even here?" Fred asked.

"I think he's movin' in," Todd said.

"Hey, if he pays, he can stay," Lance said.

"He's not staying here," Pietro declared.

"Do ya think he has Gambit's number?" Rogue mused.

All the boys turned to stare at her. She glanced around at them.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"


Jamie came walking in, a wide grin on his face, a hooded look in his eyes, and a big cup of tea in his hands, completely calm. He stopped in the middle of the damaged foyer and announced,

"I…likey like like…teeeeaaa."

Then he walked back into the kitchen.

"Where'd he get tea from?" Fred asked.

Upstairs, Pyro merely had to follow the sound of the slamming door in order to find Wanda's room. He stopped just outside and knocked. He didn't get a response so he kept knocking. And knocking and knocking with no near end in sight.

"Get away from my door!"

"Not 'til ya open up, luv. Yoah're doin' jus' what Oi used t' do 'til moiy buddy Gamibt showed up. Said keeping all this stuff locked up insoide o' ya will drive ya batty or some such stuff. 'E use to jus' lemme go yammerin' on for what had t' been 'ours but Oi'm pert near sure 'e'd stop listenin' and koinda zone out on me. Couldn't fault the bloke a bit on that 'un. So you openin' this door or are ya jus' gonna leave me out 'ere talkin' and knockin' all noight?" he paused his monologue a moment, still knocking.

He didn't have to wait much longer after that as the door swung open and Wanda sent him a glare.

"Oi was startin' to think you'd crawled out yoahr window," he chuckled.

"What. Do. You. Want?" she asked him in a clipped tone.

"Set the world on fire, most toimes. Other toimes, well, Oi'm not too sure 'bout them. Oi'll burn that bridge when Oi get to it. What about you? What do you want?"

She stared at his still grinning face, trying to figure out why he was even up here, before she decided that it didn't matter.

"I honestly have no idea," she sighed, walking back into her room. She didn't tell him not to, so he assumed it was all right for him to enter. Still, when he walked through, he stayed very near the door, leaving it partly open, sliding down the wall to take a seat. She seated herself on the edge of her bed.

"Oi've always loved fire," he told her, flipping open his silver lighter, bringing it to life. "It's always calms me down. Settles everything. At the same toime, it's fascinating to jus' watch it breathe for a while."

The flame from the lighter jumped to his other hand onto each fingertip. He stared at the flames, and Wanda leaned forward, trying to see what he saw.

"On top o' all that, it's really pretty," he grinned brightly at her. "But Oi didn't come up here to talk about me moiy obsessions. This is about you, luv. So go ahead," he made a gesture with his hand that held the fire that was now in the shape of a baton and it signaled with him.

She gave him a blank look.



"About what?"

"Anything, everything, nothing at all whatsoever. Whatever ya feel ya need to get offa yoahr chest. What had ya all upset downstairs maybe?"

She frowned, looking down at her hands.

"I got mad."

He waited a beat for her to say more. She didn't.

"Yoah're really bad at this. Yoah're not much for talkin', huh?"

"That'd be my brother."

"Yeah. Even if 'e didn't 'ave those powers o' his, Oi still think he woulda tore outta 'ere jus' as fast," Pyro mused off-handedly, the flames now weaving between his fingers.

"I didn't mean…I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Pietro, or just anyone, but I just get so mad over these stupid things and I…snap."

"Ya didn't 'urt him, luv."

"I could have though," she looked up at him. "He's scared of me. Everyone is. They all think I'm just going to lose and kill all of them in their sleep."

Pyro stared at her for a moment before he started laughing. Real, straight from the belly laughing. He fell over to his side, the fire he ignited dancing over his head as little figures of laughter.

"It's not funny!"

"No! Oh, n-no! Not laughin' at ya, sheila!" he struggled to sit up and contain his mirth.

"Sure seems like it," she growled out.

"Nah, Oi'm not. Trust me. But are ya sure yoah're not a moind reader? 'Cause Oi can't tell ya 'ow many toimes Oi've thought that and Oi can't begin to think 'ow many toimes Gambit whalloped me for sayin' it out loud!"

"You're messing with me."

"And could ya tell me the what for o' that? Oi swear on the first flame, Oi'm bein' level with ya."

"Why would anyone be scared of you?" she slid herself off of the edge of the bed, situating herself cross-legged on the floor across from him. "You're not scary at all."

"Well, some people say Oi'm unstable and such, prone to mad fits of random burning of this and that. Utter rubbish and la-dee-da nonsense. Really, ya burn down one apartment complex and they brand ya for life."

"You burned down apartments?"

"Yes, but in moiy defense there, luv, they were already condemned."

The flames formed a halo around his head and Wanda chuckled at the sight.

"I believe you."

"Good. Then beloive me when I say that you are not scary. Any fool that fears ya is afraid o' his own shadow Oi'd bet and ain't gotta lick of sense in 'is head," he tilted his head, studying her. "Then again, ya are a bit intimidating."

The smile that had started to form on her face faded with his last words. He seemed unmindful of that as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Oi mean, Oi don' know many blokes who'd keep his cool 'round a sheila beautiful as you are."

And that is when she blushed. So painfully bright that she was sure it could be seen in the dark.

"Yoah're not used to compliments," he stated, staring right at her glowing face. "That, we will have to fix. No doubt about it! Hungry?"


It seemed like she'd been saying that a lot today since she met him. She still wasn't used to his quick changes in subject.

"Do you. Want to. Eat?" he slowed his speech and asked her not unkindly. "Oi didn't think my accent was that 'ard."

"Oh, it's not. I really like it."

"Same 'ere. Yoahr's, Oi mean."

"I don't have an accent."

"To me, ya do. It's very…American. Really cute."

She felt her cheeks turn pink again.

"All roight, no more compliments today. Moight end up overloadin' ya, and ya end up loike that brother o' yoahrs," he stood up, shutting his lighter, putting out the fire and extending his hand to Wanda.

She gave him her hand, and he pulled her up easily.

"Wow, you really don' weigh much, do ya, luv? Ya loike pizza?"

"I love pizza."

"All roight. We'll order a couple dozen boxes, some chips, and pig out. Sound good?"

He pulled her out of her room and down the stairs, not letting go of her hand, a fact that she was very aware of. In fact, she stared at their joined hands the entire time to the point that she wasn't even aware that they were back downstairs.

"So where's the phone?" he asked.


Well, at least she wasn't saying 'what'.

"The phone? The telly, the ringer, where do ya keep it?" he asked patiently, not the least bit concerned with her mood swings from calm to angry to quietly out-of-it.

"In the kitchen. I think they use it as a hanger or something. I need to go to talk to Pietro."

"Sure thing. Whad'dya want on yoahr pizza?"

"Anything but anchovies," she told him with a delicate shudder.

"Oh, Oi hear ya, luv," he put his arm around her should and squeezed it in a short hug before walking off to the kitchen.

Wanda took a deep breath before she walked to the doorway of the living room. Pietro was flopped on the sofa, taking up all of the space. The rest of the boys were scattered around the room, Lance in his chair, Todd on the back of the sofa, Fred on the floor.

"I need to talk to Pietro alone," she announced.

At the sound of her voice, Pietro bolted straight up and sent the others a nervous glance as they obediently filed out of the room past her. Wanda walked over to the couch and sat down on one end while Pietro covertly scooted to the other. When she noticed that she sent him an annoyed glare. He stopped moving and sent her a nervous smile.

"Don't do that," she told him.

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're trying to see if I'm on the verge of murdering you."


"And stop apologizing all the time! You don't really do anything wrong. You just get on my nerves and I get mad and attack you and it's not your fault! You can't help being annoying."

"Right. Sorry. I mean, um…I don't even know."

"Why is this so hard? It didn't use to be."

"Let's try this,"Pietro turned halfway to her. "I will try to not be as annoying so much and if I send you over the edge, you give me a three second count down to get out of range."


"And you know, maybe you could take some anger management classes or something," he told her with a cheeky grin.

She swatted at him and he zipped behind her.

"What are you aiming at?"

She grinned up at him, twitched her hands, and the remote hit him in the head.

"Ow!" he whined. "Unnecessary roughness!"

"You're such a wuss," she stood up and walked out of the living room, her brother trailing her.

"You know what your problem is?"

She stopped and spun around to face him, hands on her hips and brow raised. He put his finger right in her face.

"You're a big meanie head," he told her, his face deadly serious.

Wanda groaned and rolled her eyes.

"You can't come up with any better insults than the ones we used when we were kids. That's just sad," she walked towards the kitchen and said over her shoulder, "Stupid head."

Twenty minutes later, their pizza arrived. Pietro zoomed out to the car from the back door, took every food item and the liter of soda and the money from the delivery guy's ash tray, and used that to pay him, even giving him a tip.

It was put to a vote and Pyro was officially welcomed into the Brotherhood house when he handed over two-thousand dollars to Lance, the unofficial treasurer of the house. Seeing creatures made of fire trotting through the house became a regular occurrence for everyone. Pietro and Wanda started getting along better. For a time, all was peaceful in the home.

Until Pyro asked Wanda out on a date and Pietro tried to kill him. That ended with Wanda and Pyro going out for a lovely time, and Pietro spending his night locked in the closet, cocooned in jackets and sweaters.

The next day when he called their father, Eric told him that he was staying out of it, and if Pietro had any sense of self-preservation, he would too.

It also came about that, yes, Pyro did have Gambit's number. Once acquired, Rogue spent the next month or so agonizing over whether or not to call him. Locked away in the relative privacy of her room, she finally did, only to hear ringing coming from her balcony. Suffice it to say, the Wolverine was not pleased when by the end of it all, Charles allowed the thief to stay on as a part of the X Men.

Incidentally, Jamie was banned from Pyro's special brand of tea. Do not ask.

And so it begins!

A/N: This pairing was a little odd to me. The only time they even see each other in the show is when they're fighting at that warehouse area and when he lures her to the mountains. They don't even speak. Very random, the ways of the fandom. So since their relationship isn't real in my mind, I've never worked through it like I have for some others, I had to do this as a type of intro. However, I now officially like them instead of just accepting them. Romy beats all of them though.

Now, I don't think that Pyro is 'crazy' all the time. That mood just seemed to affect him sometimes. The scene of him laughing at Magneto's demise does give evidence to the contrary though. (Am I the only one who enjoyed that, but would have preferred for that episode to only feature Remy and Rogue? Who really cares what everyone else is doing?) For the most part, I think he's normal but a complete and total Pyro and sometimes it comes about in other aspects of his personality.

Please excuse me if the accent and slang is wrong.

…wow that's a long one shot. Can I ramble or what?

Hey, just realized that has some and Pietro/Wanda sister brother stuff!