Be Prepared - Voldemort-style!
Miranda Shadowind's version

Angry Author's Note: Contrary to the beliefs of certain reviewers (brandy, the drunken penguin, Aurora Lynn Rose, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Imhotep Ardeth Bey), I did not I repeat DID NOT copy off of Princess of Mirror's parody dammit! I haven't even SEEN it for crying out loud!!! To all of you, and anyone else, just because someone's parody looks like another's doesn't mean they're necessarily a copycat!! In most cases, the author is guilty as charged. But, as in my case, the author may have merely been thinking along the same lines as the other one. Did you think of that?! Geez...

Anyways, on with MY parody!

*words* = Spoken

(Setting: Post-Goblet of Fire)

Voldemort:
*I never thought Death Eaters essential
They're dull and unspeakably plain
But maybe they've a glimmer of potential
If allied to my vision and brain*

I know that your powers of retention
Are as thick as a cauldron is wide
But slow as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride

It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking takeovers and purifications
Even you can't be caught unawares

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer

Malfoy:
And where do we feature?

Voldemort:
Just listen to teacher
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues!
And let no mudblood be spared!
Be prepared!

Wormtail:
*Yeah! Be prepared. We'll be prepared! For what?*

Voldemort:
*For the death of the Minister of Magic!*

Wormtail:
*Why, is he sick?*

Voldemort:
*No, fool! We're going to kill him. And Potter, too*

Malfoy:
*Great idea! Who needs a minister?*

Malfoy, Wormtail:
No minister, no minister! La la la la la la!

Voldemort:
*Idiots! There will be a minister!*

Wormtail:
*But you said...*

Voldemort:
*I will be Minister! Stick with me and you'll never go to Azkaban again!*

Malfoy, Wormtail:
*Yay, all right! Long live the Minister! Long live the Minister!*

Death Eaters:
It's great that we'll soon be connected
And ruled by the greatest Dark Lord!

Voldemort:
Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
They won't stand a chance against me!

Death Eaters: Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee

Voldemort:
So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the bloodiest scam

Death Eaters:
Oooooo, la-la-la!

Voldemort:
Meticulous planning

Death Eaters:
We'll have power!

Voldemort:
Tenacity spanning

Death Eaters:
Lots of power!

Voldemort:
A decade of exile

Death Eaters:
We repeat

Voldemort:
Is simply why I'll

Death Eaters:
No defeat!

Voldemort:
be Minister undisputed
Respected, saluted
And seen for the terror I am
Yes, my wand and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

Death Eaters:
Yes, our wands and ambitions are bared -
Be prepared!