AN: For my second fanfic, we're going to try an OC, cause I really don't like that whiny little bitch Bella. Seriously, what is wrong with that chick? She needs to grow some self-esteem. And picking the ice-cold guy? Has she never been to the gyno? Those cold-ass instruments up the hoo-ha are not the least bit comfortable.
Oh, and I don't really have any fucking clue where I'm going with this because I pulled it from an original story of mine and the ending of that wouldn't work for the La Push world so I'm going to have to completely re-work it (not that I ever got around to actually typing out the ending, but I knew what it was in my head). So the updates on this will be a lot slower, since I had most of Lap Dog typed up before I ever put it out there. And I'm too impatient to wait to post this until I have that many saved up for this one.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to its rightful author SM, who ain't me (this thing gets so repetitive and you people are smart enough to know this shit...do I really have to do this every fucking time?).
The first twelve hours were difficult, since I had been awake all day and I hadn't even started the trip until late evening. But with several stops to care for Anderson and to top off the gas tank and my coffee cup, and take a smoke break, I managed to stay awake. Once the sun came up it was a bit easier to manage. Still, around noon that next day I was forced to find a secluded spot off the highway to take a short nap. I think it was somewhere in Colorado. Or possibly Wyoming. I was a little too out of it to know at that point. I was aware enough to realize that it wasn't safe to keep going without some sleep. Anderson was a good alarm clock though, so I didn't lose too much of the afternoon.
My three-hour nap lasted me through a tank of gas and about six of the next twelve hours. Then I had to start relying on coffee again. By the time I hit Utah I was drinking it black and stopping every sixty miles to refill my travel mug. You could just get a cheap-ass motel and stay the night. I eyed the next cheap motel as I drove by, not the least bit tempted to stay there. Memories of what I had allowed myself to do in similar cheap motels back home surfaced and I shuddered. No. I had no intention of ever stepping foot in a cheap motel again. I would camp out in my car before sleeping in a place like that ever again.
The coffee began to fail me in Idaho. The road was swimming before me, blurring and swaying. When I realized that my eyes were closed and had been for more than a second I jerked them open. Shit! Anderson was in the car with me! I didn't care if I died, but I sure as Hell wasn't taking him out with me. I cried with relief when a sign for a rest stop appeared seconds later. And the rest stop was only a mile away. It was a struggle to stay awake for even that one mile. I had pushed myself too hard. I needed to be taking more breaks. Sleeping longer. But it was scary sleeping on the side of the highway. Especially with Anderson. If anything happened to him I was pretty sure I would kill myself.
I pulled into the very back of the rest stop. Then I crawled into the back of the car with Anderson, pulled a blanket over myself and passed out. Cries woke me. Groggily I woke up, my hands already reaching for his infant carrier. The poor thing was probably soaked through. I unbuckled him by feel as I looked around. The sun was just starting to come up, which meant I had slept for nearly eight hours. Wow. I hadn't had eight hours of sleep since Anderson was born. Driving must be the trick. I'll have to remember that when I'm having trouble getting him down. Of course, once I reached my destination, I had no intention of driving for a very long time.
I took care of Anderson as quickly as I could, anxious to get back on the road. I still had to get through Idaho, Oregon and across all of Washington state. I thought I could possibly reach his house by that evening, if traffic wasn't too bad and there weren't any major construction issues. Fear and doubt stabbed at my chest but I shoved them away. It was too late for self-doubt. I'd come too far already. I didn't have anywhere to go back to. If this didn't work out…well…it just had to work out. I didn't have any other options.
I carried Anderson's whole baby carrier with me to the restroom, feeling guilty that the poor guy was stuck in there this whole time. But I couldn't very well put him on the bathroom floor while I peed could I? I silently promised him that I wouldn't put him back in for at least a week after I took him out, unless I absolutely had to. Then I used some of the cash from my quickly diminishing funds to get myself some breakfast from the vending machines before hitting the road again.
I strained my eyes at every stop sign, hoping to see my turn-off. My mind was beginning to spin with fatigue again and the countryside was rushing past me in a surreal, almost psychedelic way. The trees were just so green, even the trunks were green, from the moss covering them and the ferns rising from the ground. It was all a green blur, and it was starting to hypnotize me. If I didn't find the turn-off soon I was going to have to pull over for another nap. I didn't want to do that though. According to my internet search, I should be minutes from the La Push reservation. Unless I'd gotten lost, which was very likely in my confused, sleep-deprived state.
Anderson let out a tentative whine from the backseat. I groaned. Not now.
"Shh, Baby. We're almost there."
My heart jumped as a sign popped into the headlights, declaring that I was entering the reservation. Finally. I was on the right track. I was one step closer to providing a safe environment for Anderson. If John was willing to help me out.
Half a mile down the road I began to doubt myself again. There was nothing on this road. I hadn't passed a single house or even a side road yet. Nothing but trees were illuminated for as far as the headlights shone. The doubt began to overtake me. My map showed that there should be a side street a mile in, and that his house was half a mile further down that street. Without buildings or landmarks to judge distances by I couldn't be sure, but it sure felt like I had been driving for at least three miles since I had entered the reservation. Why hadn't I glanced at the odometer when I first got onto the reservation? What if the map was wrong? Why hadn't I called before jumping into my car and heading out here? I could have gotten directions from him. Who traveled from Oklahoma to Washington without calling first to make sure the visit was welcome? Especially when the person wasn't visiting but asking to move in?
A desperate person, that's who. I clenched my jaw and leaned forward to squint into the night. Anderson gave out a louder cry. Tears fell from my eyes as his cries filled the small car. I was just too tired to deal with my own worries and his distress too.
"Honey, it's ok. We're almost there. I'll take care of you as soon as we get to John's house." Surely he would take us in long enough for me to get Anderson changed and fed.
Was that a street sign ahead? I held my breath as I approached it. Yes! It was even the street sign I was looking for! I turned down the road and crept along, my eyes peeled for John's address. I held my breath again as the car neared a mailbox. I slowed to a crawl as the headlights finally illuminated the numbers on the side. Anderson's cries were deafening by now and I cringed in reaction. My breath came out in a rush. That was the address. I was finally here. I took the turn into the gravel driveway quickly and drove up to the house. There were no lights on but there was a vehicle in the driveway. I glanced at the clock as a motion sensor light clicked on, flooding the yard all the way out to the road. It was only ten. John shouldn't be too upset with me showing up at this time even if he was asleep. It was better than two in the morning at least.
I pulled up next to an expensive looking SUV and shut off my engine. I crawled over the seat and unbuckled Anderson. John would probably react much better if his first impression wasn't a screaming infant. So I changed Anderson's diaper and fed him quickly, marveling at the child as he suckled. As always, my emotions settled and peace filled me as I watched my son latch onto my breast. I had never intended to be a teenaged mother, because seriously, who does? But this amazing little creature in my arms had changed everything the moment the doctor placed him in my arms. Every horrible experience and bad decision from my past were unimportant now. Life started fresh when Anderson was born. I had responsibility now, someone depending on me to make the right decisions. Which was why I was here, sitting in a stranger's driveway.
I raised my eyes to look at the house. The motion detector had switched off, so I couldn't really see any details of the house. I could see that besides regular porch steps there was also a handicapped ramp. Was John in a wheel chair? Or was another resident handicapped? I didn't know enough about John. I didn't know anything about John.
How would John react when he saw me? Was it even really John's house? That was a horrible thought. It could be anyone's house. I had gotten the address from my mother after all, in a round about way. She hadn't been back since before I was born. Why had I taken off on this fool's journey without checking the facts first? What was I going to do if I knocked on that door and John wasn't the one who answered? What if the person who answered had never even heard of John? What if it was John and he shut the door in my face?
Anderson was finished eating and was content once again. I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. If I stayed in the car much longer I was going to pass out from exhaustion. Then John would find some random stranger passed out in her car in his drive-way in the morning, not the first impression I wanted to make. Pull your big girl panties up and get out of the car, Jenna. Go on…move. I stared at the house for a long moment. Finally I grabbed the diaper bag and a backpack that contained a few spare clothes and toiletries for me before popping open the back door and stepping out of the car.
The motion sensor kicked back on, providing plenty of light as I walked toward the front porch. Every step felt like I was walking toward my doom instead of my possible savior. But I made myself keep walking. I mounted the porch steps with shaky legs. My body was going to give out on me soon from the way I had been pushing it for days now, but that wasn't the main contributing factor. Now that I was facing the doorway, my stomach was in knots. I was so tense my whole body was shaking. There was no backup plan if John ended up being the kind of person Amy insisted he was. If he shut that door in my face, then I was done. I had no one to turn to. I would have to go to the child protective services and put myself and Anderson in their hands. I wasn't going to do that without a fight though. I rang the doorbell and waited anxiously, shivering harder with every second that passed.
I had no idea what kind of person John was. I didn't know if he was married or single. If he had any kids. Amy refused to give any information about the man. His full name and town had been a slip of the tongue. After searching through my mother's papers the tip had led me to a Christmas card in it's original envelope containing the return address. Since there was still a John listed at the address in the yellow pages online, I had taken the chance that he was the man I was looking for.
The door finally opened slowly to reveal a medium sized man with short black hair sticking up at odd angles. He had lines from his pillow on one cheek and narrowed, sleepy eyes. He took a second to take in the sight of me and Anderson and his eyes slowly widened.
"Can I help you?"
"John Black?" I had intended to introduce myself and plead my case quickly and eloquently, but I was too tired to do anything but confirm his name.
He nodded slowly, his eyes darting down to the baby and back up. "I'm sorry, but do I know you?"
"I'm Jenna, Amy's daughter."
He stared at me for a long moment, clearly shocked.
"Can I come in?"
He jumped back, holding the door wide open. "Sorry, yeah, come in."
The house was quiet, dark and cool. My eyes started drooping almost immediately once I was inside. I felt myself relaxing. He had let me into the house. That was one step in the right direction at least. I couldn't help but eye the couch. If only I could lie down for just a few moments.
"Where is Amy living now?"
I dropped the diaper bag and backpack before slowly turning to face John. "Oklahoma, for the moment."
For the next five to ten years.
He rubbed his face with one hand. "Did you drive here by yourself?"
I nodded, unable to answer around a large yawn.
"When'd you leave Oklahoma?"
I furrowed my brow in thought, my memories snarling around each other. "Uh…I think it was a couple of nights ago?"
John shook his head at me. "And I take it you need a place to crash for awhile?"
I couldn't quite meet his eyes as I nodded. He didn't sound terribly thrilled with the idea. "I won't be any trouble. I swear. I had nowhere else to go."
John groaned and rubbed his face again. He lowered his hand with a grunt. "You can sleep here tonight at least. We'll figure it out in the morning."
I started to reach down to grab my bags, but John beat me to it, somehow crossing the distance between the front door and the bags before I could finish bending down. He led me into a hall and to the first doorway. He set the bags down by the door and disappeared into the dark room. A moment later a lamp flicked on, sending a soft light through the room. The room was fairly large with a king-sized bed, an armoire in the corner and a vanity. There was even a sitting chair off to the side. All I could focus on at the moment was the bed though.
John started to head out of the room, but stopped at the doorway. He turned with a small frown, his eyes clearly more awake than they had been earlier. "Where exactly is Amy and does she know where you are?"
I stared down at my feet as I answered. "She's in prison, and she couldn't care less where I am…I put her there."
I could feel his eyes on me for a long, uncomfortable moment. Then he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself.
I dialed my brother's number as I carried the cordless phone outside and began to pace as I waited for him to pick up.
"Hey, what's up?" Billy asked.
"Amy has a daughter. And she just showed up on my porch."
"What!" Billy exclaimed.
I ran a hand through my short hair. "It gets worse. The girl has a baby. She looks all of fourteen and she has a baby! She's got to be older than that. She drove herself all the way from Oklahoma. In two days. She looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion."
"Damn…that's just…we have a niece?"
"And Amy is apparently in some prison in Oklahoma." I stated as I turned so I could make another round on my porch.
"Sounds like Amy," Billy said with a sarcastic snort.
I nodded my head, although he couldn't see it. "Look, I called to say I want you to make sure none of the pack shows up here for a few days."
"Just pass the message on to Sam, ok? She's at least half Quileute. She's already proven to be fertile. She's prime imprinting material. I don't want any of them showing up here." I asserted. My niece had obviously been through a rough few months or years to get to the point where she would drive half-way across the country to show up on a stranger's porch, begging for a place to sleep, if only for a night. Anger filled me at the thought of another stranger laying claim to her as his soul mate, changing all the plans the girl might have had for her own future. That seemed like too much to put on her right now.
Billy sighed. "John, if she stays here then she's going to run into them eventually. If it's going to happen then it will happen. What's the point of banning them from your house if it's going to happen anyway? You know some of those boys rely on having a place to crash sometimes."
"Well I guess your couch is going to be a lot more crowded." I hung up on my brother and glared at the phone.
Sometimes Billy's attitude toward life just drove me crazy.
AN: So….what do ya'll think? For some reason I'm a lot more nervous on this one then I was the first. What's up with that? To keep anyone from being confused: The OC's are all Blacks, John and Amy are Billy Black's siblings which makes Jenna Billy's niece and Jake's cousin.
I tried to make the main guy character one of the other wolf pack members because I'd just done a Paul story, but the main guy character is always getting into fights...so it kinda had to be Paul (and I wrote the original piece way before ever reading Twilight, so the character was not Paul-like intentionally). So I compromised by keeping the original OC gal. Unfortunately the gal starts out the story with a kid, so I'm going to try my damndest not to make it too much like Lap Dog. You guys will have to make sure I don't falter there. The girl is dealing with different issues though, so hopefully I can manage. It does seem a bit more angsty and filled with less of the sarcastic goodness. I was in a darker place when I wrote the original work it's based off of. I managed to tone down the 'oh please just slit my wrist now' feel to it somewhat by re-writing it for the Twilight world, but I think it still reflects some of that vibe. Or maybe I've just been looking at the original too much!