Hello fellow readers/authors! (This is ONLY time I'll be posting a lengthy author's note)
So it's that time again where I post something unfinished… but this time I'm hoping to get it done. There are already at least 30 chapters to this piece but even so, it'll still take time to post each chapter. I'm going over it to make sure it's to my liking before I release them.
A couple of things you should know about this fic. It's very, and I mean very AU and characters are OOC. This type of story has been in my head for years and originally it starred original characters. However, it works just right as a fan fiction and what better fandom to use, than Glee?
I worked hard on this and there are so many plots within themselves so I appreciate any patience I can get from you. Answers to questions about things that are unravelling will be revealed eventually as I don't want there to be any loose ends.
This isn't finished by a long shot but since I know exactly how it will wrap up, it shouldn't take me long to do so. And by long, I mean a few months (or more)?
Anyway, you may find that this starts off slow and choppy but that's how I like to do it.
Disclaimer: Fox, Ryan Murphy - Glee.
Rating: M/NC17 for sexytimes and other mature themes.
Spoilers: Absolutely none. This is so AU.
Summary: Love. Sex. Music. So dirty, it's addictive.
List of all characters (main & minor/mentions): Quinn Fabray, [Delia] Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mike Chang, Puck, Artie Abrams, Sam Fabray, Shelby Corcoran, Cera Michaels, Hannah Brette, Neve Lennon, Tehya Brunette, Ruth Ann Berry, Kai Evans & Autumn Chase
Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Santana/Tehya, Tina/Mike, Hannah/Sam, eventual Brittany/Santana
Minor/Mentions: Rachel/Brittany, Rachel/Neve, Quinn/Kai,
Warning: This does contain forms of physical/emotional/mental abuse, violence, drugs and alcohol (no matter how big or small, if this could trigger something, just be warned); femslash of the biggest kind and minor hetero. So yes, there's angst, drama and epic!romance.
PS: I'm more than nervous at posting this so please be gentle - and enjoy!
Cars honked as traffic piled up on the streets of New York City. The sun was shining, beating heat waves on the people trying to get to and from work.
"God-damnit!" Quinn Fabray slapped the steering wheel of her midnight gray 1969 Mustang. "Traffic is such a bitch, isn't it Duke?" she looked down at her white boxer and rubbed the top of his head, resting her head back against her seat.
The small white puppy just looked at her, tilting his head to the side before resting his chin on the seat.
"Sometimes I ask myself if it was a mistake coming here." The blonde sighed, succumbing to the slow-moving traffic. She took the time to take in her surroundings and pulled her shades up over her eyes more. People on the sidewalks were rushing to and from their destination points. Friendly smiles were thrown upon strangers while others scowled and pushed their way through the crowds. It was a very different environment she was used to, moving from Highland Springs, Virginia to a bigger city where she knew absolutely no one. She had so much to look forward to and yet so much to fight to forget and move on from; from the recent passing of her mother to her recent disappearance of her ex girlfriend. Sometimes Quinn didn't know which way was up and which way was down.
Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths before releasing some of the anxiety out of her body. She was in New York and she figured she'd make the most of it because in the long run, she'd never return to the place that left her feeling so alive yet insignificant at the same time.
Chapter 1 – Traffic's A Bitch
The garage door opened slowly, allowing the sun to peek through briefly. Her black boots shuffled against the smooth pavement, her guitar case was gripped in her hand tightly.
"Rachel, you made it." Cera sighed, her drumsticks splayed across her lap. Her foot tapped against the leg of the old coffee table set up in front of a worn out couch.
Rachel pushed her sunglasses up on her head so her long dark hair was removed from the front of her face. Her mahogany eyes glanced at Cera. "Traffic's a bitch and I needed to make sure Grams was napping before I left," she apologized with a brief shrug.
"Rachel, you raced the streets illegally at night for more money than we all make in a month. Traffic can't be that big of a bitch, besides we thought you forgot about us." Santana took a drag of her cigarette and eyed up her best friend cautiously.
"C'mon guys, give me a break." The brunette pleaded, placing her guitar against an old chair before squishing herself between her two best friends. "Besides, Hannah isn't even here yet."
Cera slapped the girl's lap. "We're just giving you a hard time," she smirked and wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders.
"No shit, you'd think you'd be used to it by now." Santana laughed, squishing her cigarette out in the ashtray and pulled her long black hair in a pony.
It was quiet for a moment before they heard commotion outside the garage door. Sun blinded them when it opened and a figured came running in. "Sorry I'm late." Hannah sighed, her red hair was in her face and her stage keyboard was practically falling out of its case. "Traffic is a bitch!" She huffed, plopping her ass down on the old worn chair.
Cera smirked at Rachel's 'I told you so' look.
"So are we going to practice?" Santana got up and ran her fingers over her bass guitar.
"Yeah, let's play" Hannah ran to keyboard stand.
"I have to call it an early night though, guys." Rachel said, strapping her electric guitar over her shoulder, then continued to adjust her mic. "Neve is supposed to pick me up for dinner around six."
"Supposed, being the key word." Santana snorted with an eyeroll, never taking her eyes off her instrument.
"Santana, shut it." Hannah hushed and kicked the girl's shin, scowling.
"Whatever. Just don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart into a million pieces," the Latina woman paused briefly, "again."
"Let's just play." The brunette shrugged off her best friend's harsh words and shoved her emotions down inside like usual. She didn't need to be reminded how bad her life with her girlfriend had become nor did she want to think about why she was still with someone who treated her like garbage.
Duke laid down on his bed, watching Quinn clean her new small house. Music blared as she folded clothes that needed to be put away. The dog barked as her cell phone rang. "You're out of state, I can't see who's calling!" She answered smiling, knowing exactly who it was.
"It's just me. The one you left behind." A male voice said, mock-hurt.
"Sam," Quinn pouted, "I said you were more than welcome to tag along."
"I know and you know I couldn't leave my job," he chuckled softly. "So how's my little sister adjusting?"
Shrugging, despite knowing he couldn't see her, the blonde looked at her almost unpacked house. "Almost finished. I went for a drive today and was caught in traffic for over an hour."
"Aww, told you it wasn't going to be easy." Sam snickered.
"Yeah I know. I even told Duke that I'm probably making a mistake. I mean what exactly am I chasing here? Aside from my own sanity that is." Quinn sighed heavily, fighting off a small headache coming on.
Silence covered Sam's end but he took a breath and exhaled what he had to say. "One name for you: Kai. Q, I don't understand why you had to chase her all the way up there. You don't even know if she fled that way. You know you deserve better than someone walking out of your life when you needed her the most." His voice was laced with anger but Sam was able to control it. If he was one thing in the world, it was that he was very protective of his little sister.
"Yea, I know." Quinn sighed in frustration. She ran her fingers through her hair before kicking over her last neatly folded pile of clothes. Duke grunted and got up from his bed to lie on the now messy pile of clothes. Quinn shook her head and smiled at her dog.
"Quinn, speaking strictly from a brother's point of view and not your best friend, Mom just passed away not even a month ago and Kai knew the hell you went through while Mom was still alive and very ill. Yet, she left two days after the funeral without a word. What kind of love is that?"
Quinn put her head down. Her brother was right. Her ex didn't care how much she hurt; she didn't care that Quinn wanted to drive her car off a cliff moments after Judy Fabray took her last breath. When they talked about it, all Kai had said was "I dare you."
So the only question she had to ask herself and find the answer to was "why am I here chasing her?"
"So why are you all quiet tonight?" Neve looked across the table at her girlfriend who was pushing her pasta around with her fork.
Shrugging, Rachel looked up at the woman. She knew Neve was beautiful with her dirty blonde hair and blue eyes but there was so much more to her when they first started going out. Rachel had often wondered where they went wrong and how could things be fixed or if it was even possible. "You just seem to be in a happier mood tonight."
"Am I not supposed to be?" Neve raised a serious eyebrow. "I don't understand why you have to be so uptight all the time Rachel, why not lighten up a bit?" She finished in an unrelenting tone, glancing around at the other people eating in the dimly lit restaurant.
Rachel remained quiet and looked back down at her plate. Her heart sank and she couldn't understand why she loved Neve so much, yet it hurt every single time they were together. "So we're playing at Addict'd Saturday night." She changed the subject. Music was her passion and when the opportunity presented itself, she'd talk about it non-stop.
"That's great. Can you tell me something new?" Neve sighed. "You play every weekend at that dive, why not somewhere else for a change?" She shook her head and viciously stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork.
"Just thought you'd like to know where I'll be on our 2nd year anniversary." The brunette looked at her girlfriend. She was trying to keep calm but it was getting harder with the snide remarks being thrown her way.
"Well at least you'll be getting paid, right?" The other woman took a sip of her champagne and ignored the hurt flash across Rachel's face.
"Yeah I guess," she said as another wave of hurt washed through her body. "Don't you care?" she blurted out, her mind whirling in circles; her brown eyes desperately searching for a reason as to why she was still sitting at the table with Neve when the woman clearly wanted nothing to do with her.
"Why? I mean, I see you every day almost. Selfish much?" Neve frowned. "Not everything revolves around us, Rachel. What if I already have plans? Would you want me to cancel them because you want to 'celebrate' a pointless date?" She placed her napkin by her plate, waving the waiter over.
A younger man approached their table, waiting for the dark blonde to continue. "Dessert?" Neve looked over at her girlfriend, "Not that you need it." She muttered.
Rachel flung her fork across the table before standing up, making the other woman gasp. "You know what Neve?" she stared at her before opening her mouth, "Fuck you." Pushing her chair back harshly, the brunette stormed out of the restaurant making her way home. She could only take so much in one night.
It never used to be that way with Neve. Things were simpler when they started dating and Rachel found someone she thought she could share her dreams with. Neve used to be thoughtful. She'd buy her flowers every time she had a gig, she'd be front row and center cheering her on. She would call her every morning and wish her a good day and their sex life used to be fantastic.
In recent times, Rachel Berry found her back against the wall with Neve's wild fists heading her way and all she could do was wait until it all ended for the night. It was hard to keep up appearances when she had to cover her bruises from time to time but she kept telling herself that everything would go back to how they used to be and if they didn't, then maybe she deserved it in some way. Maybe she had been the one responsible for taking them down that road.
Rachel hugged her pillow as she sat on her couch watching TV. Her hair was pulled back in a wet ponytail from her previous hot shower. She couldn't believe she walked out on Neve at dinner earlier that night. She was even more surprised that her girlfriend hadn't followed her - if anything to give her shit. It's not something she would ever considering doing but she could only take so much. It was one thing to have Neve beat her emotionally, and sometimes physically, in the privacy of their relationship but she didn't want to take it in front of people in public.
Sighing, Rachel was just about to call it a night when she heard a knock at her apartment door. Getting up she turned off her TV and looked through the peephole, not at all surprised at who was on the other side. "Neve," she opened the door and looked at the dark blonde before her. "Look, about earlier-" she was cut off by a sharp pain against her left cheek, the stinging shooting up through her temple. Realizing she was just slapped by her girlfriend she held her cheek and looked dumbfounded at the woman in front of her.
"Don't you ever fucking embarrass me like that again," Neve seethed through her teeth. "Got it?"
Rachel nodded, tears threatening to spill but she refused to cry in front of her. She refused to show any sign of weakness because it'd make Neve feel like she had even more unwanted power over her. As the dark blonde disappeared down the hallway, Rachel clenched her fists and for the first time in her life, she was letting that slap be the final straw.
There had to be someone better than Neve, just waiting to be rescued as much as she was.