Disclaimer: I do not own Kamen Rider Den-O, it belongs to Shotaro Ishinomori who created it and to Yasuko Kobayashi and Shoji Yonemura who wrote it. This is simply for my own entertainment, and I make no money off of this.

AN: I wrote this a while ago (back in June/July actually, and the majority of this chapter while I was in Japan). I've been wavering on whether or not to post it since most people who might read this won't have seen the newest 3 movies, but I decided to since, while there are a few spoilers, there isn't anything majorly major in there, and I figured that Den-O needed a little love too after the past several weeks of just W fics.

Warnings: Cursing (it's Momotaros's POV, what else do you expect?), some slight shonen-ai, slight spoilers for the Cho Den-O trilogy (though to put it in perspective, if you've read the Wiki articles with the summaries you very likely know much more about the plots than what I put here), and a little bit of angst (I was in that mood when I wrote it), but I promise that the second chapter ends on a better note and that it will be up ASAP

Contemplations 1 – Momotaros

I wasn't supposed to care for him this fucking much. I never really remembered (or cared about) our "purpose" as imagin; all I cared about was being able to fight and have a good time. I never factored those big, guileless eyes into my equation. I'm supposed to be the big, bad fighter dammit! I'm not supposed to fall in love!

But, fuck it all, I did, and with Ryotaro of all people. What a fucking mess.

It started off fine, I honestly figured I'd just make a contract with the first kid I found and use him to find a few good fights. It was my goddamn luck (bad or good depending on how you look at it – bad because I found him and fell in love, but good for the same reason) that landed me with the Singularity Point who didn't even know what he was. After the initial shock, I figured this was even better because now I could keep using this kid to fight! It didn't matter that my opponents were imagin (in fact it was better that way because they were stronger than the humans), all that mattered – at that point – was that I was able to get what I wanted, especially since my contractor seemed like such a pushover.

Ryotaro, though, showed more backbone that I thought possible when I first met him. Taking a fucking beating just to teach me a lesson sure proved that. Then he accepted that damn turtle into the fold as well, talk about a kick to the face. Not only did the brunette have a backbone when it was important, he also cared. He honestly cared about every fucking body: the fucking liar, the brat, the bear, and the goddamn bird. He even cared about me, the one who started the whole mess for him. What the hell was I supposed to do about that? Especially when I realized that I was starting to care too.

The whole incident with Gao was another sucker-punch that made me realize I wasn't quite as detached as I thought I was. When Ryotaro forgot about the imagin – about me – it shocked the hell out of me. Beyond that, it hurt. I felt hurt and lonely and all sorts of other things I hadn't thought I could, and it made me realize that I actually did care about Ryotaro, no matter how much I denied it before. Then Ryotaro regained his memories, and everything seemed to go back to normal. That fact alone made me so happy that it kinda scared me.

But then the others started to disappear. As much as I know I bitched and complained that the train was too fucking crowded, when I thought they'd be gone forever I was upset. I had come to care for them too it seems. Then they reappeared, interrupting my fight – which, admittedly, wasn't going all that well – to form this clusterfuck called "Climax Form." I know I had missed them, but god it was hella weird to have all four of us possessing Ryotaro at once. Everyone was back again though, and, more importantly somehow, Ryotaro wasn't depressed and distraught and blaming himself for the others being gone when it wasn't his fault in the first fucking place.

Then all that shit with that Yuto brat went down, and Odebu tried to join us – thank god that didn't work out. Ryotaro started worrying again, this time about the other rider because of the damn Zeronos cards he used erasing people's memories – which is one of the most fucked up prices I've ever heard of.

After that, fucking Kai – who I really didn't remember – showed up, claiming that he was the one who sent the imagin to Ryotaro's time, and the bastard tricked the damn brat into sending the DenLiner on what was nearly a suicide run – and would've been if the creepy ass Station Master hadn't stopped it. Ryotaro then promised to stop Kai – to his face...I know he'd have done it either way, but really...did he have to put a fucking target on his back – and suddenly we couldn't possess him properly and started to disappear.

We hid it from his for as long as we could, but, Ryotaro being who he was, he found out and was suddenly torn on what to do – despite what we were all telling him. He tore himself up inside because he knew he had to fight – that much was fact – but he also knew that, by fighting, he was effectively ensuring that the existence of a future where we imagin couldn't exist. It hurt to watch him, and I tried damn hard to convince him it was alright. We knew that fighting to defeat the imagin would eventually lead to a future where we didn't exist. I didn't give a damn though, and I knew the others agreed for their own reasons. That more than anything else, though, showed me just how much Ryotaro had come to mean to me. Looking back and being completely honest, the only thing I gave a damn about was making sure a future existed for him, one where he could be happy.

Now, Kai is gone and so are most of the imagin. Since then it's been mostly clean up, but there have been some strong fuckers since then as well. Of course Ryotaro managed to get tangled up with every single fucking one of them. He doesn't seem to have a normal sense of self-preservation so someone has to look out for him, and at this point I think I care too damn much to give the job to anyone else.

So, naturally, when he managed to get himself kidnapped it scared the shit out of me. I couldn't exactly fight the damn ghost imagin, not when the fucker kept de-henshining with Ryotaro's body as his host, and the bastard knew it. He fucking knew it and took advantage of that fact in order to shove a sword through my gut – which fucking hurt by the way, even if I am technically made of sand. Ryotaro came through though – as I knew he would – and pushed the fucker out just in time for me to possess him so that I wouldn't turn back into sand and disappear. Then, of course, we beat the shit out of the damn ghosts with some help from a kid who's supposed to be Ryotaro's grandson – and I'll be damned if that doesn't freak me out a bit, who wouldn't be if they met the future grandson of the guy they were in love with when they themselves were male too.

Then, of course, all the shit with Decade went down where I temporarily forgot what my body looked like and could therefore not form it – talk about freaking the shit out of someone – and Ryotaro de-aged about ten years physically even though he was still mentally twenty-one. Of course, once I finally got my physical form back and got back to the DenLiner, I get shot back to the fucking past and get mistaken for a goddamn oni. I mean what the hell? I look nothing like those fuckers! Ryotaro, naturally, made his way back to the past where I was – as expected because of, if nothing else, the massive oni infestation throwing off the timeline. I was really fucking glad to see him either way. I think I might've actually clung to him if Kohanna-kuso-onna hadn't kicked me where I'd been shot earlier. That fucking hurt! We ended up beating the shit out of the bastard oni brothers in the end, though somehow the clusterfuck Climax Form also managed to include that damn toriyaro that time as well.

For some reason even Owner can't – or won't – explain, Ryotaro has yet to return to his original age, and can you imagine how fucking weird it is to realize you're in love with someone who is technically and mentally twenty-one but whose physical form has regressed to pre-pubescence? Then we had more fucking drama. Some creepy ass stalker made a contract with an imagin so that he could rescue Airi and become her "hero", and the imagin also managed to send the DenLiner rocketing through January 2010 so that no one could transform with Ryotaro. Or at least that would've been the case if I hadn't been tossed off the fucking train and been stranded for five months – because if I had sought out Ryotaro and created some sort of messed up paradox, Owner would've kicked my ass off the train. I was so fucking happy, though, when Ryotaro finally showed up because I was so fucking sick of living like a hobo with those yapping monstrosities, and because I just knew that Ryotaro would've tried to fight even if one of us could help him. We did get to beat the shit out of the imagin once, though it was that Yuto brat who ended up finishing the pig-bastard off – and who also managed to finally resolve the whole fucking mess with him, Airi, and his older self. Then, of course, another fucking imagin shows up with a contract that let her take her contractor back to the past, and, during the fight, I somehow manage to sprain my fucking ankle! What the hell? Really? Though, at least that particular injury didn't transmit to Ryotaro as well so he could at least walk. That other brat Kotaro ended up taking care of the mess, and along the way we learned that he is definitely related to Ryotaro since he managed to inherit the Ryotaro's luck along with the mantle of Den-O. There was some drama between Kotaro and Tendon that eventually managed to resolve itself – thank god since, knowing Ryotaro, he'd find some way to feel messed up about it if it hadn't, and I really didn't want that to happen.

Then Daichi – or whatever the hell his name is – steals the DenLiner by finding the pass when I tossed it after charging my hisatsu attack. Fucker tries to kill his past self before he gets arrested by the other bastard calling himself G Den-O who appears out of fucking no where – literally. The cop bastard takes the pass from the thief then fucking arrests us – though kameyaro managed to stay out long enough to find out some of what the damn thief was doing in the past before he gets his own ass arrested. The thief steals the keys when the guards were distracted by the creepy ass Owner and breaks himself out before leaving the keys just out of reach – bastard. Then Ryotaro shows up – having managed to get himself fucking arrested – so that I could possess him and break all our asses out of jail. We end up helping the fucking thief bastard – because Ryotaro is just too damn nice for his own good – with what he was trying to do. Cop bastard shows up again – fucker – and kameyaro possesses the thief so that, between the two of us, we break the bastard's shield and beat the shit out of him. Then cop bastard shoots the thief – hitting both the past and future forms – and manages to change time, finding the letters he hadn't known his mother had left in the process. The cop goes soft and his fucking fake imagin goes berserk and becomes G Den-O himself. The thief bastard powers up with help from the cop, and we finally manage to beat the shit out of the fake imagin too. In the end, all the damn thief stole was Ryotaro's cup from the DenLiner, and things have gone mostly back to normal – whatever the fuck that is.

Sometimes I have to wonder, though, why Ryotaro is the one who always seems to be cursed with bad luck. All the really strong fuckers seem to find him, and he keeps trying to help every-fucking-body he can. I do know that Ryotaro will never change, though, just as I know he won't ever feel the same way I do – the fact that he has a grandson in the future pretty much fucks that over. The latter doesn't change anything dammit. No matter what it takes, I just want him to be safe and happy. So I'll just keep quiet and continue to be his friend and guardian even if it tears me up inside to watch him eventually find and fall in love with someone else. After all, what the fuck else can I do when I love him so damn much.