I'll be here
A depressed Romano comforted by Spain. Fluff. One-shot. Rated for Lovino's lovely language.
Pairing: Spain x Romano
Disclaimer: I do not own APH.
It wasn't Lovino's fault that he felt this way.
His silly fratello had decided to bring pasta to the world conference again. Even though most nations deemed the action as inappropriate, they all accepted Feliciano's offer. He had everyone marvelling at his the gastronomic treat. Nation after nation came to praise Feli for his talent.
Lovino wasn't jealous of his brother. No, he refused to think so. In fact, he loved Feliciano very dearly. Why else would Lovino attempt to stand up against that potato bastard for him time after time?
Yet, a little voice kept dancing in Lovino's head, saying nonsense like "You can cook just as well as he does!" and "You guys are twins! You're identical! How can one of you be cuter than the other?"
No, no. Lovino shook his head, sitting on his bed. He was used to everyone admiring Feli for his skills and adoring his personality ever since they were little. Even grandpa Rome spent more time with Feli than he did with Lovino.
In all honesty, he wouldn't have Feli any other way, despite the troubles and annoyance he could bring. Because Feli was the one who knew Lovino. He was the one who could and would understand. And make him smile.
Though there are times when even Feli couldn't help ease Lovino's mind. Every time Lovino saw Feli with Germany, he wondered why his fratello would fall for someone as straight-faced and haughty as him. Opposites attract, he supposed. There have been countless times when Feli told him about his stay at Germany's. He would scoff at Feli's every remark of how Germany's cuddles were the best, how he felt sad but warm when Germany wouldn't let him eat gelato for lunch because he didn't want Feli to have a stomachache. But on the inside, Lovino did fancy the idea of the significant other who would always be there. He didn't feel embarrassed to secretly think that way. He was Italian; for crying out loud. Of course he'd fancy about love. So, at times like this, knowing the more about their relationship in contrast to the nothingness he held, it didn't cease to depress Lovino, even for just a little.
However, Lovino gathered, that it was only normal to feel slightly left out when all attention falls on Feliciano instead of him. When most talk about Italy, they meant Feliciano, not Lovino. For example, France, that bastard, he thought. He was always saying how lovely Feliciano was and how he would love him to stay, to become French. Not that Lovino wanted the French nation's perverted affection; but he knew he should get used to being neglected when he found out even Spain had said that he wished he had Feli instead of Lovino.
Lovino leaned back and let out a sigh of contemplation. He knew. He had always known. He knew his unwillingness to do household jobs for his boss, when he was little, must have gotten on the Spaniard's nerves, no matter how cheerful and carefree he is. He also knew that his potter mouth did no good to anyone except maybe when he was involved in some Mafia assault. He knew he had always put on a wall and blocked himself away from other nations, being that hotheaded and stubborn teen he was. He knew that he never showed gratitude as much as he should have. It really was a miracle how Spain had put up with him all these years.
The thought of the country of passion made the young Italian colour up a little. It warmed his heart as he thought back to all the times that Spain had chosen to make his way back to him, even though all he got would be a callous greeting of 'So you're finally coming home, bastard?' Spain would smile and say hello. "Hola, mi Lovinito."
Lovino didn't understand. He couldn't understand why Spain could always put on a smile, even when he came home with wounds all over him, obviously had gotten himself in trouble in the New World. He would grin as soon as he saw Lovino. Why?
Lovino wondered how long all this would last. He was growing up under Spain's care; growing up fast. He knew that there would come a day when Spain decides to let him go. History at least taught him that much, if not more. He had seen many nations cry, heard them pour out their thoughts to one another behind the walls of the world conference hall. And it was all because someone had left them. Now that he thought about it, Lovino couldn't really imagine a life without the Spaniard. Sure, he could grow fat, juicy tomatoes on his own. He would be able to take care of himself. He had been fine when Spain left him alone, in his days of being a glorious conquistador. But would he, for the slightest, miss the laughter and relentless shower of affection by the Spaniard? His eyes suddenly became watery. Goddamnit, even his mafia listened to his orders more than his own tears. Hang on…feeling so concerned about leaving Spain…Did that mean he actually yearned for Spain's company?
Now he really was confused. Rather troubled. Why the fuck did he think about all this? It made him feel so weak, to bring up his emotions that were always safely hidden under all the humiliations he threw out. Then again, would anyone ever listen to him? More importantly, would he tell anyone what thoughts he held? Surely he couldn't tell Feli anything about feeling outshone by him. He was supposed to be protecting his brother, not making him cry by telling him that his popularity had, at some level, bothered him. Then could he tell Sp-? NO. No way in hell was he going to show this side of him to anyone. Let alone that emotionally impaired bastard. He swears, Spain could never feel anything but joy and passion. It really could be infuriating sometimes.
He didn't like this feeling at all. It felt somewhat…lonely.
A series of soft knocks swept Lovino's wandering mind back to reality.
Speak of the devil, Lovino thought. He didn't say a word.
Hearing no response, Spain knocked on Lovino's bedroom door once more.
'Lovi? Are you okay? You came up to your room straight after dinner! You didn't even talk to the Boss!'
On the other side, Lovino's eyes bore straight into the wooden frame of the door. As if giving it a death glare could make the other man go away. Lovino really wasn't up to any mucking around with Spain right now. All the thoughts that just came up in his mind made him feel fragile inside. He wasn't sure if he could handle talking to him at the moment.
'Lovi…? Por favor, answer me,' Spain started to be worried about the Italian now.
Yep, that was it. Spain's pleading voice. Lovino considered giving in and just shouting "Merda. Just come in!" when a certain Spaniard came bursting in the room, yelling 'I'm coming in, Lovi! Are you all right?'
When Spain saw Lovino sitting silently in his bed, red-eyed, he received the answer to his question. He approached the Italian quietly and carefully, the sight of him pulled at his heartstrings. Why did his little Lovino cry?
He put on his brightest smile and sat down next to Lovino. Putting a hand on his shoulder, he brought him into a half-hug. 'Lovinito, what's the matter? Tell me. The Boss can surely help you out!' Lovino shook his head, trying hard to hold back the rebelling tears.
'Please, Lovi. Tell me what's wrong,' Spain became irritably worried now. Did someone bully Lovino? Did that creep Turkey try anything with him again?
Lovino searched in his head for the words to say that could shut the Spaniard up. As much as his presence somehow made the South Italian felt much safer, talking to him felt like such a complicated thing to do. He didn't want him to go though. His arms were just too warm. '¡D-déjame en p-paz!' Lovino stuttered, saying it in Spanish for effect. Spain's eyes widened at the sound of the phrase, then burst into gentle laughter, holding Lovino by the shoulders.
'Aww, Lovi!That's so cute! S-say it again!' Spain said in between his laughs.
'Dammit, bastard! Here I am, sulking over my fucking life, and you're laughing? I can't fucking believe you! Just when I thought someone fucking cared for m-'
Lovino's pointless rant was cut off when Spain pulled him into a tight embrace. He patted Lovino's hair gently, trying to calm him down. All the will inside Lovino to push the Spaniard away diminished as soon as he felt a pair of warm lips grazing his hair. Spain leaned –if he could be any - closer to Lovino, lovingly kissing his hair.
Dammit. He just couldn't let go.
'It's okay, Lovinito. Please don't be sad about your life. You have a good life.'
'What makes you think otherwise, mi querido?'
Lovino fell silent. But what was he to say? "Because one day you're going to fucking leave me"? No way in hell that those words were going to leave his lips. All he did was slowly returning Spain's hug, letting his tears escape his reddened eyes, for just a moment. When Antonio finally released Lovino from his hold, he didn't fail to notice the trickle of wetness down his cheeks. Lovino seemed to notice Spain's eyes boring into his blushing face, because all he did was quickly turned his head away. Spain's chest tightened in unease; he had never seen Lovino like this.
Knowing how Lovino was, there was no way he could make him tell what he had been crying over. Spain ever so gently reached out to caress Lovino's soft cheeks, wiping his tears away. He smiled at him before touching soft kisses along the trail of tears. To his surprise, Lovino's lips curled up for the tiniest bit, face blushing madly again. Damn that bastard, why does he always make me blush?
'It's okay, Lovi. You don't have to say it if you don't want to,' he cooed, kissing him on the forehead, 'but I'm always here if you do. That's a promise, Lovi.'
Feigning reluctance, Lovino nodded. He felt…relieved to hear that. So Spain did care. He even promised to always care. Lovino wouldn't lie to himself; his heart melted. It really did. Without knowing, a soft yawn escaped his lips.
Spain grinned at the childlike actions of his Lovi. 'Tired? Here, I'll tuck you in.' Lovino didn't open his mouth to snap at him, or even flinch. To tell the truth, he was exhausted from the day's tomato picking and world meeting, and the sudden rush of emotions in his head only made him want to dive into the realm of sleep. He lay down, letting an enthusiastic Spaniard pull the blankets over him, who, after that, slipped in next to him. How nostalgic. Spain remembered the image of a little Lovino fast asleep in his arms. He never thought there would be repeats once Lovino grew up.
Shifting closer to Lovino, whose back was facing him, Spain wrapped an arm around the smaller man, testing the waters. He wasn't sure if Lovi would like his hugs right now, when he was in such a sentimental state. Not sensing any protest, he pressed closer to the Italian's back, attempting to turn him around.
Eyes closed, Lovino let Spain roll him over, his head leaning onto his strong arm. He didn't care how embarrassed he might feel anymore. 'Lovi?' Spain said softly. The said Italian's eyes slowly fluttered open in question.
'Goodnight, Lovi,' Spain smiled fondly at him. Lovino's eyes lingered on his face, the usual aggressiveness gone. Only childish innocence was found in those emerald orbs. As soon as those eyes met Spain's, he let his passionate side take over him- he leaned down to touch a sincere, sweet kiss on Lovino's lips.
Lovino's tired eyes shot wide open in surprise. What…?
'I love you,Lovi. Te amo mucho mucho por vida.'
It had never occurred to Lovino that Spain could love him in a romantic way. Of course, he always said that he loved him since he was little. But he always thought of it as a brotherly kind of love.
Then what about Lovino himself? Did he love Spain that way?
But if he didn't, then how did he explain his drumming heartbeat at that very moment, let alone the flushing cheeks? And at every other time that Spain came unexpectedly near him, why would he feel embarrassed and wanted to run away?
As Lovino's facial expressions turned from confused to uncomfortable to unreadable overtime, Spain tensed up. Maybe he shouldn't have told Lovino how he felt; he should've left it for later. He prepared himself for a push in the chest followed by a ruthless headbutt. More time passed, Spain didn't experience anything of the sort.
It was his turn to open his eyes wide when he felt soft lips against his own, moulding their mouths perfectly by a Lovino, tomato-red in the face. He kissed back fervently, stroking Lovino's hair. Spain pursued staccato kisses as they pulled away from each other, smiling against Lovino's velvet lips. Suddenly, Lovino's palms held his face and pulled it down to glare him in the eye.
'I'm only gonna say it once, so listen up, bastard', Lovino swallowed, he can do this. 'Ti amo, Antonio,' the confession was sugarcoated with a shy tuck on both corners of his lips. Lovino actually spoke his human name! With fervor, Spain pulled Lovino into a long, eager kiss, relishing every single taste of his lovely Italian. When they both had to gasp for air, Lovi buried his head into Spain's chest, hiding his crimson face. Lovi's so adorable when he's shy, Spain reckoned as he held Lovino as tight as he could, happily kissing the top of Lovino's head.
'I'll always be here for you, miel. I'll be here.' He kissed Lovino's hair gently, lulling the smaller nation to sleep. It warmed his heart immensely to be able to hold Lovino as a lover in his arms. Lovino leaned into the embrace, a smile remaining on his handsome face as he drifted off to slumber.
To Spain, that smile was absolutely angelic.
Déjame en paz- Leave me alone [Spanish]
Mi querido- My dear [Spanish]
Te amo mucho mucho por vida- I love you very, very much for life [Spanish]
Miel- Honey [Spanish]
fratello- brother [Italian]
Ti amo- I love you [Italian]
Buona notte- Goodnight [Italian]
I need to be separated from my computer. Seriously, I turned it on to do something like my 5 assignments, except this was what I did instead.
Oh well, it made me happy. XD
Sorry for the rant. Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Spamano is too just way too cute! I hope they weren't OOC! I also hope the Spanish and Italian were right! I got most off the Internet... :P The idea for the fic stemmed from Kelly Clarkson's 'If No One Will Listen'. Thought I should give it credit! :)
Please review to let me know what you thought about it! They help me improve! Hands chocolate cannoli :D
Thank you again! Take care!