A/N – I was going to reply to all the reviews but thought that this might be a slightly better thank you. So this epilogue goes to bathtoeb, normalab, lestobiosis, t, kkk, reckless-23, ,SilvaLDN, WinterAquair, Scarpan D, freshtilapia of lj, ilikepie2013, adilamgp, Awesome Anon, Miss Evrae, chev14j, tvloverr93, smashintoyou, ElizaOlivia, agarza1538, HeyArcia, Liz, elvenshoes, mkylsmth, soledaddl, Novak fan, prajna paramintha, seacat03, Vsquared-k, thefrick, soccerstar11-5, Jess, TeardropxMiles, germankitti, dumbstruckk, 0A, Anonymous, jacketweather, ilovemyself26, heykaramore, Cassicio. Thanks so much for reviewing the last chapter. Hope you like the epilogue.
My Future In Your Hands
This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Her pager goes off and Quinn jerks awake, her hand grabbing hold of the device, hoping to silence it before it woke Rachel up. She can feel her stir as she holds her breath, only, she hears Rachel's soft voice, "Do you have to go?"
Quinn turns around to look at Rachel, her hand tracing the side of the brunette's beautiful face, trailing down her neck as she feels Rachel shudder beneath her fingertips. She really does not want to leave the warmth of their bed or to forgo the time she has with Rachel. "I don't want to go.."
She sees Rachel smile at her, a look full of understanding and love that it takes her breath away. "I know which is why though I do not like the thought of you abandoning me here bereft and alone, I understand that you need to go and do your job." Rachel tempers her words with a small smile and goes a step further as she guides Quinn's hand to her lips, kissing her palm, before leaning in to capture Quinn's lips.
She hears the pager go off again and groans into the kiss, wishing not for the first time that she had chosen law or business over medicine; any job that wouldn't drag her away from Rachel in the middle of the night. It was definitely a completely new experience for her to have someone she did not want to leave and most definitely wanted to come back to.
It had only been a month since Rachel had turned up at the free clinic and in that span of thirty days they had managed to spend only four days apart and that was due to Quinn's surgery schedule. Quinn's love of cooking meant that more often than not, they would end up at her place because as she delicately put it, her kitchen was set up for more than just take out.
Otherwise, they would pick up their orders from Blossom and spend the time, weather permitting, on Rachel's terrace, overlooking the Park. Their routine almost happening by serendipity, with no arguments as to where to go or what to do, both of them just enjoying being with each other. Exploring their newfound closeness and reveling in their physical connection.
To be honest, they were still so new into their relationship but it wasn't as if they had started off as complete strangers although their past history was something that Quinn knew she still needed to make up for. Rachel had forgiven her, going as far as to ban her from apologizing for her appalling behavior.
"It's in the past and you're a different person now. I don't need you to apologize for something that I know you have no intention of ever repeating. I mean unless you are going to install a slushie machine in your kitchen, I think I am completely safe." Rachel smiles as she makes her way to the refrigerator to help herself to a bottle of vitamin water she knows Quinn keeps just for her.
"I'm still sor."
"No" Rachel cuts her off, this time whirling around to face her, a solemn expression on her face."I have forgiven you." She enunciates each word as her hand unconsciously twists the cap on the bottle belying her words to an extent. And she knows that Quinn has also picked up on it.
"It's not something I think about." Her words are softer as she turns to walk towards the living room only to feel Quinn's arms around her waist, stilling her movement. She leans back slightly, feeling her weight supported by Quinn, knowing that the blonde's presence means a lot more. "It's like it happened to the both of us but to the other us." She shakes her head as if clearing her thoughts as she feels Quinn's breath on her neck.
Rachel's always been good with words and she knows she can explain this because Quinn is giving her the time she needs, not saying anything but just holding her. "But we're so different now, it seems a shame to focus on past mistakes knowing that we're never going to purposefully hurt each other like that." It's been something she's thought about in quite a lot of detail.
"I'm hereby banning you from ever apologizing to me for whatever you did in high school." She feels Quinn stiffen and knows she wants to protest, but it's a test of sorts on her part, wanting to show Quinn that she does trust her and even if she hasn't really forgiven the old Quinn, she loves and trusts the new Quinn.
"It's probably Mrs. Lowell. I'm almost sure she has Meniere's Disease and has been misdiagnosed for years. I told the service to call me if she has another attack so I can do a few more tests and hopefully treat her correctly." Quinn pulls on a new shirt as she looks around already a bit lost in her head as she thinks through the tests she wants to do in order to hopefully improve the quality of Mrs. Lowell's life. She turns to see Rachel, her head resting on her arm as she stares at Quinn, the sheet so casually draped over her body that Quinn has to stop the urge to reach out and pull it away, knowing that if she did, she wouldn't leave.
"I really don't want to go." She's repeating herself and it still amazes her how being in Rachel's presence distills her wants into the most basic need. A need to be close to Rachel, to be able to touch her and to show her that she was special, unique and most definitely wanted.
"Just bring bagels and coffee and I'll forgive you." She knows there's nothing to forgive but Quinn wouldn't or couldn't see it that way so she relents as she says the words, knowing that Quinn would feel guilty regardless.
She accepts Quinn's kiss. "I'll see you in a few hours with breakfast."
The alarm blares a song so familiar that she almost thinks she needs to get on her elliptical before school starts. Only her eyes finally open and adjust to the bright sunlight filtering through the window. Rachel recognizes Quinn's bedroom about the same time she realizes that Quinn's still not back.
There are a dozen reasons or more why Quinn hasn't come back. Rachel knows she could have been pulled into an emergency surgery or got so caught up with doing rounds. However, Quinn had always managed to get word to her either though Julie, her scrub nurse or a quick text. But her phone had stayed silent as she again checked for messages and even ensuring that the battery was still half full. Her sixth sense is going into overdrive though a she calls Quinn's cell only to have it go straight to voicemail.
Rachel does not think twice as she raids Quinn's closet, putting on the faded crimson college sweatshirt that still smells of Quinn as she pulls on her jeans. She does not bother to comb her air, instead pulling it into a pony tail using one of Quinn's hair ties.
The drive to the hospital is relatively uneventful and surprisingly enough, the imposing sight of the hospital does not fill her with dread. Rachel knows that it should, the sense memory of pain and fear from her disease forever tied to the hospital. However, she also has realized that Quinn had found solace in the place, it had been a home of sorts to Quinn and it was also where she had first witnessed a different side to the doctor.
She had see Quinn at her most vulnerable and she knew that it was also where Quinn saw her as more than just a patient. She still feels so uneasy that she exits her car and stands before the automatic doors, not moving as the cold air washes over her skin, goosebumps forming along her arms as she tries not to shiver.
All she knows is that she needs to see Quinn as she steps into the fray, the metallic smell of blood and clean smell of antiseptic assaults her senses as she makes her way to the bank of elevators at the back of the ER. The beeps and noise of the machines are distracting but she does not waver, only finally distracted when she sees a flash of blonde down one of the corridors.
Rachel almost misses the lone figure sitting on the gurney, pushed to the side of the wall. Quinn's leaning back, her eyes closed, one hand holding a red stained towel to the side of her head while the other loosely holds a clipboard. It's as if time had slowed down. All Rachel could see was crimson blood against pale white skin.
"Quinn." She knows her voice is loud as it bounces off the whitewashed walls of the Emergency Room but she can't keep her emotions in check, knowing that Quinn was hurt, that she was bleeding even as she slept in her bed not more than an hour ago.
Her feet propel her forward as she tries to regain some form of equilibrium but all she sees is dark red blood and all she can register is that Quinn is hurt. Hazy hazel eyes meet hers and she does not blink finally reaching Quinn's side as she grasped her hand, her fingers delicately touching the side of Quinn's face.
This was definitely not how Quinn pictured the day going. She had been relatively happy having finally been able to diagnose Mrs. Lowell correctly. She had immediately prescribed diuretics and a new dietary plan that would at least improve her quality of life. It wasn't an easy diagnosis though and Quinn had spent the better part of two hours, counseling Mrs. Lowell, explaining that while there was no cure for her disease, Quinn would do her best to get her on one of the more promising clinical trials that was being run in Boston.
That was the main reason she had gone down to the ER. She had needed Alex's approval to continue to treat Mrs. Lowell even though she couldn't afford to pay the hospital. Quinn didn't mind donating her time but she still needed Alex to say yes.
The chaotic scene that greeted her was not unexpected although the level of violence was new. There were patients' strewn around the large room looking at the melee taking place in the middle. Alex and one of the senior residents along with three security personnel were trying to subdue four men hell-bent on hurting each other. One of the orderlies had already been knocked out, blood seeping from his temple.
Quinn knew she couldn't do much but the flash of the knife and Alex's sudden distraction at her entrance made her act. She rushed forward, pushing the man brandishing the knife only to be pushed down, her head hitting the side of a tray. She hears Alex call her name but all she sees are stars as her vision dims. Only to realize that she had blacked out for a few seconds and blood was dripping down her eyes.
In the end, it had taken two more security guards and the other two residents before the four men were finally stopped. Alex had insisted she get stitches and she really didn't want to go home to Rachel looking an extra from Carrie. So she spent the past hour equivocating on the gurney, wondering if Rachel was still sound asleep, hoping to see her but not wanting to disturb her.
The sound of Rachel's voice is welcoming but the worry and fear bleeding through is not. She's still a bit woozy as she meets Rachel's gaze, hoping that she's dreaming this and Rachel was not really there, panicked and scared. But she feels Rachel's fingers curl around her own as her fingertips trace the cut at the side of her head.
Quinn can't help the hiss of pain and regrets the sound as Rachel pulls back, tears in her eyes. "It's nothing serious. Head wounds bleed a lot." She can see her words are not providing comfort. "Trust me, it could have been wor." She stops, wishing that she was more coherent and had her filter on as she sees Rachel's eyes widen further, a tear already escaping her eye.
"Dr Fabray, I'm ready for you. Could you go to room three?" The tired but friendly voice of resident on duty cuts through the tension as Quinn slowly gets off the gurney, Rachel's presence solid and real as she walks to the room indicated, not once letting go of Rachel's hand. The bright fluorescent light in the room hurts her eyes but she does not let it deter her as she sits in the chair next to the tray.
"Are you finish with the form?" It's a simple question regarding a bureaucratic procedure that Quinn herself had asked a hundred times. Only she knows this is different as she stares at the clipboard in her hand, the name she had written under Emergency contact, clear on the page but not so in her mind. It's something she had written automatically, only realizing that she may have been presumptuous after the fact.
The only thing that stopped Rachel from talking a mile a minute and demanding more medical attention than the hospital could provide was the fact that she was holding on to Quinn's hand and that she was hurt but still walking and talking. She hears the doctor's question and sees Quinn stare at the clipboard in her hand. She follows her gaze, finally recognizing the name written in Quinn's beautiful script, near the bottom of the form.
'Rachel Barbra Berry * '
The small star at the end of her name finally bringing a smile to her lips. It's then that everythnig coalesces in her mind as she finally understands that Quinn's guarded reaction wasn't because she didn't want her there but because she wasn't sure if Rachel wanted to be there. "Normally, I only use gold stars because they're a metaphor and metaphors are important." Her voice is clear as she looks directly at Quinn.
Rachel takes the form from Quinn's hand and gives it to the Resident. "Not that I ever want there to be a next time but at least now they know who to call."
It's all she needs to say as Quinn stares at her unflinching even as the needle pierces her skin. They had come together again in accordance, reaching a foregone conclusion, opening more of themselves to each other.
Trials and tribulations would come, it was inevitable but they had chosen a path together, needing each other in their lives, understanding that they were better together than apart.
The End…for now
So for those who noticed it's kind of a prologue as well. I am going to write a sequel, Faberry is too fun for me not to. It will be titled, Mercy, Pity, Peace and Love (from a poem by William Blake). I'll start a new thread for the new story so hope you guys will read it when I eventually post. Have a nice Christmas.