Dedicated to: OpalescentStorm
Happy Birthday sweetheart ❤
Don't go clubbing without me. (;

the environots;

Tenten rarely got angry. She was frequently childish, sure, and she whined quite often for reasons even she admitted were stupid, but she almost never lost her temper, especially not when it concerned Neji.

Neji, well, he could be sexist a lot, and being a feminist Tenten regretting picking him as a study partner every time he segregated anything that had breasts. He was frustratingly vague, so when giving her short meaningless answers Tenten would have to yell her question at him so he'd understand exactly what she wanted to know.

But he was a trustworthy adult, and quite smart, so she looked up to him in a way.

This, however, was unacceptable.

"Neji," she hissed into her cell phone. She was curled under the blankets in her dorm room, trying not to wake her roommate with the bright light of her cell phone, keeping her voice down. "Do you know what time it is?"

Neji's voice crackled through the cell phone louder than necessary. "Actually, I'm not quite sure…"

Tenten groaned under her breath. "Neji, it's three in the morning," she snapped as quietly as she could. "What are you doing, getting high?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Tenten had to admit he had a point; the possibilities of Neji even getting a whiff of drugs were likewise to that of a flying squirrel learning how to breathe underwater.

She shook her head, frowning and checking her cell phone's clock once again just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. Nope, the big old 3:08 AM gleamed back at her in glowing neon numbers. Tenten scowled and held the phone to her ear once more. "Well if you're not high," Tenten growled, "what is your excuse for calling me while I'm trying to sleep?"

"It's all Lee's fault."

Tenten glowered. Of course. That was Neji's answer to everything lately; "It was all Lee's fault." He forgot his homework, it was Lee's fault. He stubbed his toe, it was Lee's fault. He choked on a peanut, it was Lee's fault.

And what made it worse, was that Tenten legitimately believed him.

As if on cue, Lee's anxious voice could be heard in the background. Tenten could see him now, lurking over Neji's shoulder, pressing his ear to the cellphone trying to listen in on the conversation, and now he desperately wanted a turn. She couldn't understand exactly what he was saying, he was talking too fast and the phone was hissing indignantly, but she knew it was him.

"Get off me and let me talk!" Neji yelled, and Tenten winced at the volume it came out of the phone with. Closing her palm over the receiver and shutting out the sounds of Neji and Lee struggling, she whipped back the blankets. Temari was still sleeping on the other side of the room. Tenten let out a sigh of relief and slipped out of her bed to exit the room, closing the door softly behind her.

"Okay," Tenten said impatiently into the phone as soon as she got into the suit outside. "I'm going to hang up if you two don't tell me right now what's going on, because if I wake my roommate up she's going to murder me."

"No!" Tenten rolled her eyes at Lee's cry of anguish. One more short spurt of struggling noises, and Lee had the phone, wailing into it, "Tenten, we need you!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, I'm not hanging up," Tenten said patronizingly. "Just tell me what's going on!"

Lee gave a long sigh. "Okay…Okay…So, me and Neji were supposed to go to Indiana for our Environmental Studies class, you remember?"

Tenten did remember. The small town in Indiana Neji and Lee were headed for was just two hours away from where Maple University's campus was in southern Michigan. "Weren't you guys supposed to leave tonight?"

"Yeah, we did," Lee insisted, "But we — ouch! Fine, I got us lost."

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "…You were driving?"

"Well, I insisted. Neji looked very tired, so I offered to drive for him, and, well…"

"Lee, you're dyslexic, and you don't have a sense of direction!"

"Neji said I could!"

"He shouldn't have! You can't even tell left from right! I bet he didn't even give you a map or directions at all, I bet you were heckling him so much he just gave in at last and took a nap!"

"Wow, how did you know?"

Tenten resisted the urge to punch something. "Well, where are you now?"

"Um, I think we're in Kentucky…?"

Tenten froze. She'd been pacing the suit outside her room, and now she lightly lay a hand against the wall to steady herself. "…Kentucky…?"

"Yeah, Kentucky. There are cows, and three hours ago it was dark out even though it shouldn't have been..."

Tenten dragged a hand down her face. "You have got to be kidding me," she whispered darkly.

"I don't see this as very funny, Tenten."

"Neither do I, sport," she grumbled. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, still messed up from sleeping. "So let me get this straight," she said as calmly as she could. "You guys were trying to drive to Indiana, which is just two hours away, and ended up in Kentucky?"

"Yes."

"…" Tenten pressed her forehead against the wall. "Can you please give the phone to Neji?" she pleaded softly.

She heard the hiss of the air as the phone was handed over, and Neji spoke ever-so-modestly, "Yes?"

"Neji, are you guys seriously in Kentucky?"

"Well, there are a frequent amount of cows, and judging by the time changes Kentucky would be a little darker three hours ago."

She briefly wondered why he made so much more sense than Lee when he was basically saying the same thing. "So, where in Kentucky do you predict you are?" she goaded.

Neji paused. "I'm…not sure…"

"What are you doing right now?" Tenten asked, swallowing her impatience.

"Standing outside of the car in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky trying to find out where we are and talking to you."

"…Fantastic…" Tenten sat down on the small uncomfortable chair in the corner. "Remind me why you're my friends."

"Because last year in Physics I called you an astounding mathematician with attention defecate disorder, and in British Literature Lee called you a psycho-maniac with a pretty face."

"…I can never tell if you're being serious or if you're not..."

"I am."

coming soon;

("Lee, you've got it all wrong."
"What do you mean, Neji?"
"It's not Spanish, it's French."
"French? For what?"
"...Well, I suppose it…it…"
"If you don't know what it means, how do you know its French?")

(It was normal for friends to lie to each other.
And somewhere subliminally, Tenten knew that.
She didn't expect it from them, though. Never.)

("What are you guys—?"
"—Squirrel!"
"…That's nice, Neji…")

(They each wanted something to call theirs.)

you can't wait.