.Masochist.


Hey.

Think you can come to bed?

Maybe just this once?

These sheets are cold.

And I need your warmth.

No?

That's fine, too.

I won't hate you.

I could never hate you.

Do what you like.

Do what you want.

I won't mind.

Even if it means you're with him.

That's fine, too.

Just as long as I can see your smile.

Your beautiful, perfect smile.

That smile that's for him.

Not for me.

Damn it.

He doesn't even know how lucky he is.

To have someone like you.

Fuckin' wrapped around his finger.

But he doesn't even realize it.

He doesn't even know.

But I do.

I see it everytime.

Every. Time.

You look at me, and you smile.

But your eyes don't shine the same way.

Not when you smile at him.

What makes him so great?

So much better than me?

We have the same face.

The same everything.

But you want the one thing about us that's different.

The one thing I don't have.

I wish you would see what I do have.

What I have that he doesn't.

Which is everything.

But it's not everything you want.

Is it?

Because I'm me.

Not him.

So I'll wait.

Your breath slows as you sleep.

In his bed.

Not mine.

I'll wait for you to wake.

Not catching any sleep at all.

Because I'm afraid.

The instant my eyes shut?

That's when it'll happen.

When I'll lose you.

You're his.

And he doesn't even see it.

But, God.

How I wish you could be mine.

It hurts.

Having you this close.

Yet so far out of reach.

It hurts.

But it's you I'm hurting for.

And God.

How I love it.


Author's Note:

Whoo-hoo! My first one-shot. This seems pretty random. If any of you keep tabs on my profile, you'll see that I mentioned a fan-fiction called "Sugar Coated Syringe". It's a Roxiri written in a very similar style as above about the way Roxas feels toward Kairi, who is in a relationship with Sora (his brother). Now, I did not base this one on that. I based it off of my own, "Kimi to Taiyou ga Shinda hi". But the style for SCS was just so beautiful...I couldn't help not to use it. It's so freakin' poetic and touching.

But I digress. This is in relation to "Kimi to Taiyou ga Shinda hi", and it's something to give a little preview to what the other side of the story is feeling. Perhaps it's part of his thoughts during a certain point in the story that we haven't gotten to yet? c: