Chapter 35: Swan Song
AN: This will combine the Pestilence/Death episode and the final battle
Pestilence was coughing and sneezing on everything. He sneezed on Newton's face, and next day Newton was in the hospital with swine flu.
Crowley suddenly appeared before Fox.
"I heard that you're planning on cramming the devil back in the box," said Crowley. "I want in. You need the Four Horsemen's rings. I don't know where Pestilence or Death are, but I'll be able to do anything if you sell your soul."
"Why would I want to sell my soul?" said Fox.
"I promise I'll return it once Lucifer's back in, or when the the world is destroyed, whichever it is," said Crowley.
"Deal," said Fox.
Fox told Krystal and Renamon where Pestilence and Death were.
"I'll go after Pestilence," said Krystal. "You go after Death."
"This is Death's scythe," said Crowley. "It can kill demons, angels, reapers, even Death himself."
"You want to talk to us after what you did?" said Renamon.
"What I did?" said Crowley. "I gave you the Colt!"
"And you knew it wouldn't work against the devil," said Renamon.
"I never," said Crowley. "Honest mistake. I thought it would work."
"He's the one who told me where Pestilence and Death were," said Fox.
"And you believed him?" said Krystal.
"The devil knows I want him dead," said Crowley. "They burned down my house!"
"He's right," said Renamon. "It's the only chance we've got. How else are we supposed to find Pestilence and Death?"
"You trust him now?" said Krystal. "Remember Ruby? We trusted her, and she turned out to be working for Lilith."
"He's the only shot we've got," said Renamon.
Krystal and Renamon went their separate ways, each trying to get a hold of Castiel on the phone.
As Krystal was in the hospital watching the monitor for Pestilence, she called Fox. "Fox, remember you told me about a time you were possessed by a demon, and were able to fight it?"
"Yes, why?" said Fox.
"How did you fight the demon?" said Krystal.
"Why do you want to know?" said Fox.
"If we do get the four rings together, how are we going to get Lucifer back into the cage?" said Krystal.
"You're not thinking of…" said Fox.
"What other options are there?" said Krystal.
"That isn't an option!" said Fox. "It can't be done. It's like stealing a national monument! It's like stealing some akruner with greasy feathers! What happened was one in a million! And that was some mook demon! You're talking about taking back the wheel from Satan himself!"
"Yes I am," said Krystal.
"It's impossible," said Fox.
"Wait!" said Krystal. An old man with short spiky white hair was walking by, and the areas of the screen around him looked warped up. "There's Pestilence right there! I'll call you back."
Krystal ran into a room where Pestilence just killed one of the patients with seventeen different diseases. Krystal ran toward Pestilence with a knife. Pestilence turned around and turned the ring on his finger. Krystal fell to her knees, coughing.
"I can give you any disease I want," said Pestilence. "You have three viruses that will kill you in a few minutes."
"Why do you want me dead?" said Krystal. "Lucifer needs me alive! And he'll just resurrect me."
"I want revenge for what you did to my brothers," said Pestilence. "They're withered husks right now. Fetal position on the floor. They'll never return to this world or regain their power, even if the rings were crammed back onto their bony fingers. And it's all thanks to you."
Suddenly Castiel entered, grabbed the knife, and, as Pestilence turned, cut off his fingers. Pestilence fell to his knees and disappeared.
"Castiel!" said Krystal, who was now fully recovered from the viruses now that Pestilence was gone. "You're alive!"
"Yes," said Castiel, "but I no longer have any power at all."
Renamon and Crowley walked through Calgary.
"He's in here," said Crowley, pointing to a Domino's Pizza. Renamon entered to see everyone dead except a skinny man dressed in black eating Oreo pizza. Renamon raised the scythe, but it burned hot and she dropped it on the ground. Death recalled the scythe to his hand.
"Thank you for bringing it back," said Death. "Have a seat. Eat some pizza."
Renamon took the seat across from Death and took a bite of Oreo pizza.
"Is this where you kill me?" said Renamon.
"They don't want you dead," said Death. "And even if they did, I don't want you dead either." He took off his ring and gave it to Renamon.
"Wait!" said Renamon. "Won't you disappear and turn into a withered husk when that happens? Crowley said…"
"I am more powerful than the other three Horsemen," said Death. "Fortunately for you, I do not willingly serve Lucifer. That bratty child has me on a leash. When I'm not a Horseman, I'm the leader of the Reapers. He's making me do whatever he wants to, go wherever he wants me to. I needed you to find me. And I need you to lock him away and sever his control over me."
"That's what I'll do," said Renamon.
"But you have to promise to do this by any means necessary," said Death. "Krystal wants to say yes to Lucifer, take control back from him, and jump into the pit."
"WHAT?" said Renamon.
"Only she can defeat him," said Death. "You have to promise me, or I won't give the ring to you."
Krystal and Renamon were driving to Detroit with Fox and Castiel.
"A lot of omens in Detroit," said Castiel. "He's there for sure. And Michael has possessed Wolf by now."
"Wolf?" said Renamon. "I thought he was still after me."
"Wolf said yes, and he's the next best thing," said Castiel. "Now listen Krystal. You'll have to drink three gallons of demon blood for him to possess you."
"And remember what I told you," said Fox, "although it's hard enough to take back control from a demon, let alone an angel, especially the devil."
They arrived at Detroit. Krystal stabbed two demons in the back and they hung them up and drained all their blood into jugs. Krystal drank the demon blood and then entered a room crawling with demons. She turned to face Lucifer, whose face looked slightly more decayed than before.
"I'm here to say yes to you," said Krystal. She waved her hand and all seventeen demons in the room fell dead.
"What did you say?" said Lucifer.
"Yes," said Krystal. "You always said it would be in Detroit. Well here I am."
"I know all about the rings," said Lucifer. "I know everything Gabriel put in that Spongebob tape."
"How?" said Krystal.
"But that doesn't matter because you can't take control back from me," said Lucifer. "If you can, you jump into the pit. If you can't, then I win."
Lucifer left Nick's body, which fell dead. And Krystal fell to the ground.
Renamon threw the four rings, now resembling a Triforce, into the wall and it opened up a dark, shadowy hole.
"The Shadow Realm!" said Renamon. "Lucifer's cage! Krystal! If you're going to do this, jump in now!"
Krystal stood up. When she spoke, she spoke in a different tone than usual.
"Krystal can't hear you anymore." It was Lucifer. He closed the hole and took the rings back. Then he vanished.
Renamon called Chuck. "Where are Michael and Lucifer going to fight?"
"At Stormy Beach," said Chuck.
(AN: Stormy Beach is my own made up place)
Renamon, Fox, and Castiel drove to Stormy Beach in their car, while at Stormy Beach, Michael, in Wolf's body, walked up to Lucifer.
"Well here we are," said Lucifer, "possessing two furries, about to fight to the death and destroy the world."
"I don't want to fight you any more than you want to fight me," said Michael.
"Then why fight at all?" said Lucifer. "Can't you rule the world beside me?"
"I have to," said Michael. "I was a good son. You betrayed us."
Michael and Lucifer raised their angel-killing swords and dashed toward each other, when suddenly Renamon ran up to them.
"Krystal! I want to talk to you!"
"Krystal's gone," said Lucifer.
"You're wrong," said Renamon. "I know she's still in there! Krystal, remember all the battles we've been through! All the time trying to stop the Apocalypse! You can fight him!"
"She can't," said Lucifer. "She's locked deep away in my mind, and she can't fight me off."
"Renamon," said Michael. "You would've been the ideal vessel. Wolf works just as well, but I'll offer you one last chance to say yes."
"Never," said Renamon.
"Then you shall die," said Michael. "Shall we summon Blabberton, my brother?"
"Yes," said Lucifer.
Both Michael and Lucifer yelled "BLABBERTON! I SUMMON THEE!"
A hobo with long brown hair, a beard, and several scratches on his face appeared. He ate a spoonful of crickets and transformed into a great skeletal dragon.
"Renamon is no longer part of the game," said Michael.
"Destroy her!" said Lucifer.
"Then we can begin the battle," said Michael.
"As you command," said Blabberton, the dragon. He breathed fire at Renamon. Renamon dove out of the way.
"Diamond Storm!" said Renamon, and she shot diamond shards at Blabberton. They exploded, but Blabberton emerged from the explosion unharmed.
"It didn't even faze him!" said Fox.
"Blabberton is an incredibly powerful dragon," said Castiel. "Only archangels who wish to destroy the earth can control him."
"Can he be destroyed?" said Fox.
"He has to be burned to death," said Castiel.
"But he's a dragon!" said Fox. "He uses fire as a weapon!"
"Only when he breathes it," said Castiel, "because it's hellfire. But any other type of fire will incinerate him."
Renamon pulled out a rocket launcher and shot it at Blabberton. Blabberton flew high and avoided the rocket. He swooped down and his fearsome mouth opened wide as he flew towards Renamon. Renamon got down to the ground and Blabberton sailed over her and flew into the distance. He flew back and swung his thin, skeletal spiked tail at Renamon. Renamon jumped to avoid it, however, she did not entirely avoid it; Blabberton's tail connected with Renamon's tail and sliced it off! Renamon fell to the ground, tail-less, and her tail fell down into the sand and lay still.
"HA!" said Michael.
"She'll never win," said Lucifer.
Blabberton breathed fire at Renamon, scorching her. She tried to get up, but he breathed fire at her again and she fell down again.
"Hey! Blabberton!" said Michael.
"Blabberton!" said Lucifer.
"We're still waiting!" said Michael.
"Just eat her!" said Lucifer. "Or hack her up with your tail!"
"All right," said Blabberton. His fearsome mouth opened wide, and Renamon could barely even move.
Then a little kitten with a crescent moon on its forehead walked up to Renamon. "Meow!" said the kitten.
"Hey!" said Lucifer. "Back off!"
"This isn't your fight," said Michael.
The kitten nuzzled Renamon's head, and Renamon was suddenly able to stand up. Her tail had grown back.
"WHAT?" said Michael and Lucifer in shock. Was this the legendary Moonkitty destined to destroy the Blabberton?
The Moonkitty's crescent moon forehead glowed.
"He's a cattlist!" said Fox. He turned toward Castiel, but Castiel was gone.
"Renamon digivolve to… Kyubimon!" Renamon was once again on four legs, with nine tails and more powerful than ever.
"WHAT?" said Blabberton.
"Fox Tail Inferno!" said Kyubimon, and she shot blue fireballs from the tips of her tails at Blabberton, starting him on fire.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" said Blabberton.
"Dragon Wheel!" Kyubimon spun around so that her body was on fire, turning her into a blue fireball, and from the blue flames a dragon appeared and flew at Blabberton. Blabberton stared in terror as the dragon got closer to him. The dragon stabbed right through him and engulfed him in a wave of flame, and he was completely consumed. Kyubimon dedigivolved to Renamon.
"So she destroyed our dragon, big deal," said Michael. "I'll kill her myself."
"Hey!" came a voice. Castiel threw a Molotov cocktail at Michael and it burned him and he vanished.
"Is he dead?" said Renamon.
"No," said Castiel. "He'll be back and he'll be angry."
"Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?" said Lucifer.
"No," said Castiel, backing away.
"No one dicks with Michael but me." Lucifer snapped his fingers and Castiel exploded.
Fox shot Lucifer three times with his blaster. Lucifer waved his hand and snapped Fox's neck.
"NO!" said Renamon.
Lucifer beat Renamon up. He punched her in the face, knocking out a tooth, and forced her against the Leadra Ink Endol Omni Bob Dodge car. "You can't defeat me," he said. "And Krystal can't defeat me either. It's a shame I have to destroy you. You're kinda cute. But I have to or else you'll try to stop me and Michael from destroying the…"
Lucifer stopped. He stared at the Leadra Ink Endol Omni Bob Dodge, which had some power he knew not, and within seconds, Krystal was now in control.
"I've got him," said Krystal. She threw the Horsemen's rings and opened the black hole again. "Renamon, you have to promise not to try to bring me back. I'm not coming back and I'll be trapped with Lucifer forever in the Shadow Realm, probably in an hourglass full of bugs. But if you try to get me out, you might release him."
"How can I get anyone out when Lilith has to be killed to open the cage and release its prisoners?" said Renamon.
"Goodbye Renamon," said Krystal, and she raised her arms to the side to jump in.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Michael running up to Krystal. "You can't! Give the wheel back to my brother! We have to do this!"
Krystal sweeped Michael by the leg and grabbed his tail and pulled him in with her. The hole closed up, leaving only the four rings.
Castiel appeared and healed Renamon.
"Are you God?" said Renamon.
"That's a nice compliment, but no," said Castiel. "He did bring me back however, new and improved." He raised his arm to Fox's head, and Fox came back to life.
"But isn't he going to bring Krystal back?" said Renamon.
"Who knows?" said Castiel. "But with Zachariah dead and Michael in the Shadow Realm, Heaven must be in complete anarchy. I must return to heaven and assume the role of general." And he vanished.
Crowley appeared before Fox. "In another time, another place, I might have been the next Ruby. But in this world, I return your soul to you." And he vanished.
(AN: Yes I am aware of the events of Episode 4 of Season 6, but this is a different universe and I'm leaving no loose ends)
Chuck, dressed entirely in white, was drinking wine. "And then he brought her back and everything was back to normal. The end." Chuck waved his arm, and Krystal reappeared.
"I'm back?" said Krystal. "What about Lucifer?"
"He's still in the Shadow Realm," said Chuck, "and probably duking it out with Michael as we speak. That is, if they're not both in hourglasses full of bugs."
"How did I get out then?" said Krystal.
"You're the one who ended it," said Chuck. "I was testing you and Renamon, and you did pretty good on the tests."
"What do you mean?" said Krystal. "I thought you were a prophet."
"Renamon is at Fox's house," said Chuck. "You return there and everything will be back to normal. As for me, I'll head back to Heaven and help General Castiel settle everything down."
And Chuck vanished.
"Is anyone going to get me out of here?" said Raphael, who was still standing in a ring of holy fire.
How'd you like the twist at the end that adds in a fight with a dragon? He's loosely based off the Puzzle Guardian from Hellraiser.
If you haven't guessed the cast already, I'll list it for you:
Slagar the Slaver: Bela
Agent Lance: Agent Henriksen (get it?)
Sabrina (from Pokemon): Ava
Tina Shepherd: Lily
Professor Charles Xavier: Andy
Knuckles: Both Ash and Isaac (Gluttony's victim)
The Four Horsemen (War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death)
Yu-Gi-Oh! Filler arc
Made-up by me
Omah the pilot
Many of the random victims
Steve the Red Shirt