A/N: Okay, am I the ONLY one who sees the fantastic potential of a Fretberry pairing? Come on, people! Anyways. My general rule of thumb is "stay away from romance fics like the Black Fucking Plague", but this one just had to be written. Hope you like it.
"That was good. You're a really good singer, Sean."
"Thanks. You are too."
"Well, I've been singing since before I was talking, so…"
"Why are you crying?"
"I dunno, I just like this song. As a performer, one of the things I've trained myself to do is let all my emotions come immediately to the surface to better communicate the message to the audience."
"There's no audience here. Just me."
"Force of habit, I guess."
"So…what are you good at? Besides singing."
"Um… I'm…pretty decent in the kitchen."
"Yeah. I can bring some treats with me next week if you'd like."
"Definitely. I get sick of my mom's cooking sometimes."
"Of course, we'd have to wait until after our singing session to actually eat them. Sugar lubricates the throat so that it's difficult to hit the right notes."
"That is one fantastic cookie."
"Wow, he sounds like a total prick."
"Well, all I know is that he used to like show choir and then somehow became convinced that it was…bad for the soul or something."
"Like I said. A prick. How the hell could singing be bad for the soul?"
"Maybe it's just bad for his soul… He actually took the paper Artie wrote his dream on and threw it in the trash, as if his speech hadn't been dramatic enough. And that's coming from me."
"Now I know you're serious."
"So what did you write?"
"Huge star on Broadway. I've had my mind set on that dream since I was four, so not even Mr. Ryan can tell me it's not going to happen."
"When I was four, I wanted to be a brontosaurus."
"She left you a cassette tape? Of her singing?"
"Yeah. She was singing I Dreamed A Dream. It was beautiful."
"That seems like one of those classic movie moments."
"My life would make one fabulous musical."
"Your life already is one fabulous musical."
"Oh, come on, you're one of those freaky people who can just burst into song without rehearsing. You can't debate that."
"I'm…not sure whether that was a compliment or not."
"Nothing. You're just funny."
"I resent that."
"I just called you a funny girl. I would think that to you of all people, that'd be a dream come true."
"…I cannot believe that you picked that up before I did."
"I'm sure it won't happen again."
"It most certainly will not. I have a reputation to uphold."
"…You're trying really hard not to sing Funny Girl right now, aren't you?"
"Just sing it already; I can tell you're suffering."
"You found her? That's…that's amazing!"
"My life is officially a soap opera. Next week I'll probably find out that Kurt is my long-lost brother."
"I wouldn't sweat it; from what you've told me, he'd dig the drama."
"Oh, stop it. You're making him sound like me."
"Well, isn't that what makes you guys work as a club?"
"I mean, I only know you and Finn, but you both talk a lot about Glee and, judging by the many stories, you're all different versions of each other."
"Seriously, I'm not joking."
"Okay, fine, I'll list them off. Kurt's just a male version of you with a fashion flair. You're a vocally dramatic version of Tina. Tina's a Goth version of Quinn. Quinn's a Republican version of Mercedes. Mercedes is a black diva version of Artie. Artie's a handicapped version of Puck. Puck is a dickhead version of Finn. Finn's a male version of Brittany. Brittany's a blonde version of Santana. Santana's another version of you, except she's a slut and she can probably take anyone down in a fight."
"She's also just Puck with boobs."
"…That is…really frightening."
"I should major in psychology."
"…Wow. I don't think I'll ever look at Santana the same way again."
"So what's she like?"
"Oh. Um…well, her name is Shelby, and she's…she's like me."
"An older version of you?"
"Yeah. I guess there's a lot of me's around, huh?"
"Don't be upset about that. Nobody's actually unique, Rachel."
"You know, come to think of it, you remind me a lot of Mike Chang."
"The dancing Asian? I'm cool with that."
"I'm sorry, Rachel."
"Just sorry you had to go through that."
"Well, she's right. She's my mother but not my mom. There's a big difference."
"If it makes you feel any better, my dad left when I was five."
"Why would that make me feel better?"
"Maybe 'better' was the wrong word. Less alone?"
"Why did he leave? If you don't mind me asking."
"Kind of a long story."
"I have time if you do."
"I live in my bed. I got all the time in the world."
"He wore a gown? Made of a shower curtain?"
"He actually looked quite nice in it. I think he should wear it more often."
"I am unquestionably rubbing that in his face the next time he pays me a visit. Please tell me you have a picture."
"He wouldn't let me take one, but I got a candid shot with my cell phone."
"…Holy Christ, that's hysterical."
"He really worked it, didn't he?"
"Well enough to earn a stripper name."
"…Let's not go any further with that mental picture."
"Agreed. Subject changing now."
"Hey. I missed you last week."
"Sorry about that. Some serious drama came up."
"I love juicy gossip."
"No, but I like you, so spill."
"…Remember how I told you I was dating Jesse?"
"I knew St. James was a douchebag name. I can try to run him over with my chair if you want, though there's no guarantee he won't outrun me."
"Thanks. You're a really good friend, Sean."
"Any other men on your horizon or do I still have a shot?"
"Please. My life's already enough of a soap opera without the relationship drama."
"So…is that a yes or no?"
"Are you okay?"
"I just can't shake the feeling that tomorrow's not going to end well."
"Coach Sylvester is on the judging panel this year. She hates everything about us and she's been out to get us since the club was reinstated."
"You think one judge will sway the opinions of the other three?"
"Normally I wouldn't, but Coach Sylvester is an extremely terrifying woman one more than one level."
"Rachel, you need to relax."
"You're biting your nails. You're not a nail biter, Rach. You need to relax."
"I can't. I just know that Ms. Sylvester is going to try to pull something, and we'll end up with—"
"Coach Sylvester can only contribute so much to the final decision of who wins the competition. I've seen her on television – she needs to be committed, Rach. She's insane. You really think that she'll be able to convince the other three judges, whoever they are, that you don't deserve the trophy?"
"Rachel, only you can convince them that you don't deserve it."
"You and everyone in the club. Judges can sniff out fear and low self-esteem like bloodhounds. If you don't perform like you know you're gonna win, you probably won't."
"Don't let them think that, even for a second. Make sure they know goddamn well that New Directions is the best ensemble in the continental U.S."
"How'd it go?"
"Whoa, Rach, don't— don't cry, okay? Hey. Come here."
"I'm sorry, I'm just—"
"You make a really good pillow."
"Thanks. I try."
"I still can't believe we got another year!"
"Come on, you guys deserved it!"
"I kinda want to dance around the room like a crazy person while singing Don't Stop Believing."
"What's stopping you?"
"Can you feel that?"
"No. Up a little higher. Little more. Another inch or so. …Yeah, right there. I can feel from that point upwards."
"I'm just a head and shoulders, Rach."
"Come on, you're way more than that."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
"You have so many CDs."
"Music tends to build up when you don't have much to do outside of your own bedroom."
"You like Patsy Cline?"
"Are you kidding? It's impossible not to like Patsy Cline."
"Maybe once school starts again I should try to get Mr. Schue to do a Patsy Cline week in Glee."
"I just had a mental flash of Finn singing Honky Tonk Merry-Go-Round."
"Ooh, bad idea."
"Duh. Better expand the unit to classic American country."
"I actually don't know that much about country music, classic or otherwise."
"You could have the girls do Cline and the guys do Cash. Finn would dig that."
"Oh, Johnny Cash would be perfect for Puck! You're a genius!"
"Don't I know it."
"Bring it over here so I can see it… Oh, that's The Queen and the Antelope."
"Weird name for a band. What are they like?"
"They're actually a two-person band – a guy and a girl. They're sort of indie-folk type music, from some little town in Vermont I can't remember the name of."
"Yeah, the girl – Aubrey – is my cousin. That's why I know their stuff. …Why don't you borrow it?"
"Oh, no, that's fine—"
"Don't worry, Rach, I trust you. Listen to Planetarium; I think it'd be a good song for us to practice."
"Well, we haven't done ballad-duets yet."
"I'll admit, I am a sucker for ballad-duets."
"I knew you'd like it."
"Really, if your cousin ever comes to visit you, let me know so I can gush over her in person."
"I will, and I'll warn her ahead of time."
"I am not that pushy!"
"Okay, maybe I am. But still."
"What'd you think of the other songs on there?"
"I liked a lot of them, but Planetarium and Again Some Day are definitely my favorites."
"You are a sucker for duets."
"What can I say? I'm a performer, born and bred to be the leading lady."
"And leading ladies always need male co-stars."
"Exactly. You know, you make quite the co-star, Sean."
"…What are you doing?"
"It's the quadriplegic version of a stage bow."
"It makes you look like a duck."
"What? I love ducks!"
"…So, should we give Planetarium a whirl?"
"Sure. I'll warn you, though, I might not be that great at this one. I've never sung an indie-folk song before."
"Come on, Rach, it's impossible for you to mess up on anything musical."
"You're sweet, but I don't need to remind you about my bout of tonsilitis."
"That wasn't you, though, that was a sore throat. And I know it was kinda scary for you, but I'm glad it happened to you."
"If you hadn't gotten sick, Finn would never have introduced us."
"Come on, play the CD. I'm in the mood for singing."
"You're always in the mood for singing."
"You're one to talk."
"Okay. Here we go."
"I've got my very own planet, with skies of green. The sun shines for most of the time… It's always a beautiful scene. But I've been wanting to know… I've been wanting to know, what's going on over in your world…"
"I've got my very own planet… It's beautiful, yet dole… When night falls, I sit and watch the stars."
"I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only o-o-o-one."
"I know I'm not the only one. I've been wanting to know…"
"I've been wanting to know, what's going on in another world…"
A/N: I think there will probably be at least one more chapter. This was my first attempt at doing the whole only-dialogue shtick, so please leave a review and let me know how I did. And if you aren't already a follower of my Expect the Unexpected series, you should definitely check it out because it's crazy fun.