Motionless. Walking to the door. My hands wrapped around my rist. I look back at the place where i first started calling "home." But now I'm leaving. And entering the world again. I climb into the car with my mom as we head off to her house. Ha, i guess i should be calling it my house now. I look at her for a long time. Her face was calm. But her eyes screamed with pain and fear that i might mess up again and go back to that stone room. I look around at the places I've missed. And the places i remember as a child. The cold fall morning brought back memories of apple picking and hiding under leaf piles as the parents clean up the backyard. I rub my hands on my knees. My mother was looking at me. I turned to her and she moved her eyes back to the road. I wanted to say how great it was to see her again, and how was the family. But i couldn't. Not now. Too soon. I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes. I heard my mom sigh and turn on the radio.
When i opened my eyes again it was near the house. I heard my sister's dog from a mile away. "Gosh, she still had that monster" i thought to myself. My naborhood wasn't bad. It had all good kids on the road, with fancy people. My parents where one of those fancy people. So when the news hit them, they were ashamed and didn't visit me till 3/4 of my term was done. Still my mother holds hatred till this day. I hurt her. I hurt my family. I wasn't sure what my plans where next. Finally, we turned into our long drive way. It felt like forever till we finally got to that blue house. I looked up at it and stared into what used to be my window in my room. My mother turned off the car and opened her door and got out without saying one word. I opened the door and then went to the back seats to grab my things. I headed to the front door when I heard a small "hi" come from behind me. I turned around. It was my baby sister, Mia. When I was sent away she was only 6. I'm shocked she even talked to me. I just looked at her. I turned away and started for the door again. She just let me walk. When I opened the door to the house, I heard nothing. I looked around the room to make sure no eyes were on me. I slowly made my way up the stairs. I looked at pictures of the family while I was gone. So happy and free. I remember my roomie telling me that being in a room can make you miss out on a lot of things. Then anger builds up, and makes you regret your mistakes. I guess that's why they call it "jail time." I didn't have any anger, at least not yet. I am very happy that I could look at them and see a smile on their faces. I walked up the stair's till I hit the hall way. I looked around. Nothing has changed. Still the smell of cleaner mixed in with my mother's perfume. I looked at my parent's room, the door was open. I started walking toward it but I heard someone clear their throat. I turned around to see my dad, Mr. Michael Ladue.
"I believe your room is the other way, Jonathan." He's dark brown eyes started right through me. I started to walk away but my dad stopped me. "Just because you're free doesn't mean we forgive you." He's hand was on my arm. I tugged away and started walking up our second flight of stairs to my bedroom. I could feel my father's eyes on me. Watching me. What he said cut me. "….doesn't mean we forgive you…" I feel like a bottle that needs to be opened before it burst. I opened the door to my room. Everything was left the way it was when I got hulled off to jail. I sat on my bed and began to think about what started this in the first place. I put my head on my pillow and fell asleep.
July 15th, 2009
"Jon! You promised me that we will be forever! Why can't you just keep on little promise? Why!" Cathy, my ex-girlfriend screamed. I was in the move of breaking up with her when she started flipping out. This must be stopped.
"Cathy stop it. Right now. I never, ever promised you that we'll be forever. I don't make stupid promises like that. All I'm telling you is that I'll be going off to college soon and I just don't think that this is going to work very well. So I think we should see…"
"No!" she wailed.
"I'm sorry Cathy; it just has to be that way. I'm sorry." I tried to calm her, but failed.
"I cannot believe this! I had my whole life planned with you! And it's gone! Just like that!" she looked up at me. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" she yelled "now before I call the cops!" I looked at her and slowly moved away.
"Gosh that chick is crazy" I thought. I walked up the road a bit and saw some friends near the park. I walked over to them.
"Hey! It's my man Jon Ladue!" hollered James Keithe. I smiled and waved to a couple other friends.
"Hey, dude, how it go with the gurl-friend?" Jeremy asked.
"She totally flipped out. Started saying that I promised her "forever" with her and then she kicked me out of her house. Crazy girl!" I laughed.
"Tell me again why you started dating her in the first place?" James asked. I looked at him for a while.
"To tell you the truth. I'm sure why I did. Oh right I remember, I got forced into it." I death scared Bred.
"Haha, sorry man!" He jumped off the swing and looked at his phone. "Well boy's I must leave you. Gotta visit my babe. Talk to you guys tomorrow." He ran off to his car. We all stared at him for a while, even after he was gone. We then heard a big noise and we turned around. It was Tom Carrie and his crew.
"Hey Tom!" James called him over. Tom stopped his crew and turned around and started walking toward us.
"Hey Keithe, whatcha up to?" Tom asked. Tom was buff and tall. He had rich black hair and blue eyes. To all the girls, he was a heartthrob. James walked over to give Tom a guy half hug. Just at that moment my life turned around. James was on the ground and the gun was in my hand.
August 4th, 2009
"You are charged with the murder of Tom Carrie and James Keithe." The Judge said. "Like I didn't know that. I didn't even kill James...He was my best friend." I thought off to myself. "You will be sentenced in jail for about 3 ½ years. After your release, you must complete 3 hours of committee serve every day, minus Sunday, for about 3 months. And then every month you must come in and have a "check" up. If you fail to do any of these things you will be sent back to jail unless a bail is notified and or you change your mind, even then you'll have a 30 day sentence. Do you understand Mr. Ladue?" She asked me. I just stared at her. I wanted to yell and scream at her. I did not kill James! I was not aiming at Tom, but somehow I was to blame. "Mr. Ladue, I am asking you a question." She repeated.
"Yes." I softly replied.
"Good." She looked over at the policemen, "take him out of my court." She looked at me, "Now." The policemen grabbed my arm and started pulling me away.
March 29th, 2012
When I woke up I looked at the time. I sighed. Time for the committee serve. So long college, so long life. I'll guess someday I'll get you right again. But it's not now. I grabbed my bag and went down stairs to the kitchen where my family was. I looked around at Mia, Heather, Jacob, Chris, Taylor and Brittany. They all looked at me.
"Jon." Brittany and Heather both started. They dry laughed. Heather started up first. "it's great seeing you. And I've miss you. A lot." She came in and gave me a hug. So did Brittany. When they both stepped back, they we're crying. Heather ran out of the room and Britt followed. Christ gave me a half smile and ran after he's sisters. Jacob, who was only 3, came up to me. He was the brother I never met. He just looked at me with he's green eyes. He ran away. I looked at Taylor and Mia. Mia Smiled fully and blew me a kiss and Taylor just death stared me. She left the room without saying a word. I left the room and headed out the door. I looked at my mom. And then my dad. They both stared at me.
"I'll be gone for the afternoon. I'll call you when I need to be picked up." I told me.
"who is bring you?" my dad asked harsh.
"Bred." I answered. My dad nodded his head and turned his eyes to the morning paper.
"Do. Not. Get. Into. Any. Trouble." My mother broke out into syllables. I walked out the door and stopped. My life was here and now. And its going to take a while to gain everyone's trust again. But I'm happy I'm here. Back with my family. Even if they think the opposite.