Once again, deepest apologies for the delays. I'm such a perfectionist and I really wanted to get this chapter right. Thank you in advanced for all the great reviews! :D Standard disclaimer always applies. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy!

Chapter Eighteen- Beginnings

Before this happened. Before Scotty, Cristina, Alexia, she thought she was happy. Not extraordinarily happy, but for the most part she was content. She had her health, her career, a relatively decent social life, occasional boyfriends. She never knew she needed more. She never knew she wanted more. Or maybe, somewhere deep inside her she had always wanted more, needed more, but she had been afraid to admit it. Just when she thought, she was close to extraordinarily happy, it all fell apart. This wasn't supposed to happen. Before this, she thought she was adaptable. Now she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore, expect that she was in intense labor and everything was going wrong. She hadn't stopped crying since they left the station. The paramedics loosened her restraints, once they realized she was directing most of her strength to crying hysterically and the contractions, which kept getting increasingly stronger and closer together. Kat sat beside her, holding her hand, brushing aside locks of her tear-soaked hair out of her face, and speaking to her, attempting to calm her down. Lilly can't concentrate on the words Kat is saying. She's lost control over her own body and emotions. She couldn't stop crying, screaming, and panicking. She knew what to do, she had taken classes, but this was all wrong. Everything had gotten so complicated. Scotty was supposed to be here. She should be at their registered birth center. She and Scotty... they had plans. But nothing was going right. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, she notices the paramedic searching for something frantically. He and Kat whisper to each other, then look back at her. Her tears and screams quiet and she goes into a mildly dazed state. Before she can ask anything, Kat returns back to her side and grips her hand tightly as she says, "Lilly, you have to be strong. We're about ten minutes away from the hospital but you're not going to make it. Paramedic says you're fully dilated and you need to start pushing now."

"What? No. No I can't" Lilly says protesting.

"Sweetie I'm sorry we don't have a choice. The longer we wait the greater the risk of complications for both you and the baby."

She was still a bit dazed and although the tears had subsided a bit, they began to resurface again as she heard Kat's words in the distance. She watched the paramedic prepare several medical instruments and move away from her side to the opposite end of the stretcher. As Kat helps her sit up on the stretcher and positions herself to prop her up, the reality of the situation begins to sink in further and she begins to panic.

"No. No... No, I can't. I can't have this baby here. It's not..." She pauses as another contraction hits. Once it begins to pass she continues, "...not the right time, or place. Scotty isn't hereā€¦" She pauses again for another contraction, then says, her voice rising as she panics. "He's not going to make it..." She pauses for another contraction and begins to hyperventilate a bit as her panicked thoughts drift to Scotty. "He's not here... he's not going to make it. He's going to die. I can't... I can't do this alone. Kat, I can't. I can't..." Lilly says, stopping for another intense contraction.

Kat waits until the contraction passes before saying firmly, "Stop. You can't talk like that. You are not alone and you can do this. You are strong and I know you can do this. You need to pull yourself together, for your own sake, and especially your baby's sake. You need to think about what's best for your baby. Your child."


"Is not going anywhere. Lilly, he's been shot before, at least half a dozen times and he's always survived. Never affected him much before. Besides, do you really think one bullet could kill that man?" Kat says, trying to lighten the dense situation. "He has everything to live for. You, Alexia, the baby. He's a fighter. He's going to make it."

Lilly calms down a bit, as Kat's words begin to get through to her. But before either one of them can say anything, Lilly winces and begins to scream as the final contractions begin.

"Okay, this is it," the paramedic says, helping Lilly prop her legs up on the stretcher. "Okay, its time to push."

"Come on, Lilly! You can do this," Kat says encouragingly offering her hand for support.

Lilly grips Kat's hand tightly and lets out a cry as she pushes with all her remaining strength, which isn't much since she's drained much of her strength on screaming for Scotty, and fighting off anyone who tried to keep her away from him.

"You're doing great," Kat says encouragingly, as Lilly gasps for breath and strength.

"Almost there. The head's crowing. I can see the head," The paramedic says reaching for a nearby blanket. "One more. Just one big push. You're almost there."

Lilly glances at Kat, who reassures her and says," One more Lilly. Come on you can do this!"

Lilly nods and concentrates all her strength on pushing. For her baby's sake. For Scotty. After a lot of screaming and crying, Lilly lets out a desperate gasp for air as the paramedic finally says, "Congratulations! You're a mother." He cleans the baby as best as he can, and wraps it in a fresh blanket as he hands it to Lilly, who immediately cradles her baby in her arms. She strokes her baby affectionately as his screams diminish and he blinks, his eyes adjusting to the light. He's the most beautiful baby boy. When she looks into his tiny eyes, all she sees Scotty looking back at her.