Summary: I have lived with a secret for 18 years. My secret? I can't tell anyone. If I told my secret, then I would be killed. My secret is that I am not supposed to be alive. I used to be Lily Potter.

Characters: Lily Potter (Lily Montgomery), Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, And Ginny Weasley.

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: If I was J.K.R., I would live in England, own a really cool car and have children. As I have none of that, that means I am not she. But I do love her books.


The Secret:

Birthday to Remember

I have lived with a secret for 18 years. My secret? I can't tell anyone. If I told my secret, then I would be killed. My secret is that I am not supposed to be alive. My name is Lily Potter. Now I go by Lily Montgomery. My family was killed on Halloween 18 years ago. My husband, James, and our twins, Melody and David, all died that horrible night. Everyone thought I had died to, but they never found my body, there is no body to find. The only known survivor? My youngest son, Harry. To make matters worse, Harry was sent to live in my vile sister's house. I knew, for my safety, as well as Harry's, I had to stay hidden.

I lived 18 years as Lily Montgomery. No one was any the wiser. The only person to suspect anything was Albus Dumbledore, the leader of the Order of the Phoenix, and the headmaster of Hogwarts. I applied for a job at the Ministry. I had plenty of training as an Auror, so I decided to go there. I was hired after a test. I had changed my history, making sure to come up with a false identification. I rejoined the Order and kept my ears open for news on Harry.

I watched Harry grow up. I was there when he asked Molly Weasley about the train, before his first year. I watched him play Quidditch. I was there in his fourth year, when he went through the Triwizard tournament. I saw him when he returned from the graveyard. I fought alongside Sirius when we went to help Harry at the Ministry. I was with him when he killed the Dark Lord that killed our family. I stood by his side when he found out that Ron and Hermione died. I went to his graduation from Hogwarts and the Auror Academy. I watched as he proposed to his girlfriend, Ginny. I stood in the back at his wedding, silently giving him away as a groom. I bought him the honeymoon of his dreams; of course he never knew it was I. Albus told him that a friend had bought the tickets to Hawaii.

I never told anyone who I really was, but today, today I plan to tell Harry everything. I know that he will be mad, he has all rights to be mad. To him, I was never there. I know differently, but he doesn't know that I was. I have dreaded this day for 18 years. I had tried for the past 6 years to tell him I was still alive, but I had never followed through. Tonight I will tell him. Tonight is his 19th birthday. The Dark Lord and his Death Eaters are gone now and I can come back to 'life'.

"Miss Montgomery, are you ready for the party?" Dumbledore asked through the door.

"Yes, Albus, I will be out in a minute." I grabbed the letter I had written to Harry, in his fifth year and walked out the door.

"Harry will be so happy to see you." Dumbledore said, almost as if he were hinting that he knew who I really was.

"I am just a common Auror, he will be happy to see you, Albus." I smiled, nodding to the door. "You first, sir."

"As you wish." Dumbledore knocked and stood back, allowing the door to the new Potter Manor open and for a small house-elf to invite us in.

The party had started and Harry was laughing with a few friends. Fred and George Weasley sat talking to him; Neville Longbottom sat talking to Luna Lovegood. Other friends from his school years, those that survived, were scattered throughout the room. He looked so peaceful, so happy. I laid my present on the table that was already piled high with gifts. Harry caught sight of Dumbledore.

"Albus, sir, welcome to the party." Harry's eyes met mine. It's really hard to look at your eyes. Everyone said he had my eyes, and I never doubted them. "Lily, it's nice to see you here too. Make your self at home."

Easier said than done. My body tightened as I thought about my letter. I had written it so long ago, yet I remember everything I wrote. I never wanted to hide from him, but I knew that I Harry knew I was alive, and then I would die in front of him, at the hands of the Dark Lord.

"Presents!" Ginny announced, her red hair held back into a ponytail.

Harry picked up a box. He tore through the wrapping paper and smiled at the gift. A watch. After all the other presents had been opened, Harry noticed my envelope. The Letter.

"Well, this is it, the last present." Harry opened the letter and began to read, out loud. "Dear Harry…"

I cleared my throat. "Harry, can I speak with you really quick?" I gave him a pleading look and he nodded.

"Follow me." He led me into the kitchen and nodded to the breakfast table.

"That letter…" I hesitated. "That letter is for you. You alone. I had hoped that you wouldn't read it out loud." I paled as he looked at me questioningly. "Harry, it holds information that could get me in a lot of trouble. Before Voldemort's death, this information could have gotten me and you killed. Please don't read it out loud."

"Lily, what's going on? What information?" He looked concerned.

"Harry, I can't say. You have to read the letter. I must go." I scrambled out of my seat and headed for the back door.

"Lily, wait." Harry called after me, but I didn't turn back.


"Lily, wait." I called after her, but she didn't turn back. I looked back at the letter and sighed. "Well, I won't read it out loud. I owe her that much."

As I returned to the party, alone, Dumbledore stared at me. Ginny looked at me questioningly.

"Lily, she wasn't feeling well. She went home, she apologies. So back to the party?" I looked at Albus hopefully.

"I believe you were about to offer everyone cake, correct Mrs. Potter?" Albus turned to Ginny.

"Yes, of course." Ginny began to sing Happy Birthday to me. As it ended, a cake was placed in front of me and I made a wish. My wish: To have the family I never had.

That night, I lay awake. I never read the letter. Getting up, silently from the bed, I grabbed my wand and the letter. Walking down the stairs, to my office, I turned on the lights and sat at my desk. As I opened the letter, I got really nervous. I unfolded it and began to read:

"Dear Harry,

You grew up, the first ten years of your life, alone. I know the hurt you went through. I saw it with my own eyes. The cupboard, the beatings, the nasty way that Petunia and Vernon treated you, and the abuse of Dudley. I tried to stop it; I tried to get Dumbledore to see all the things they did to you. He wouldn't listen. He thought he knew what was best for you. I am not entirely convinced that he did everything for you. He is a great wizard, and a great man, but sometimes doesn't see what his choices lead to. I watched you grow up. I looked after you. I admit I failed quite a few times. The dementors in your third year, the Triwizard tournament in your 4th, and in the final battle: I should have been there by your side, fighting the man who killed my family. I failed, yes, but every human will at some point, and I beg your forgiveness for my failures. I have some things to tell you, things you might already know and things you will never want to believe.

Harry, you were attacked because like Voldemort, you are a Half-Blood. He saw you as the threat. He attacked that night, killing you father, and two siblings: Melody and David. Your mother escaped, barely. Your mother is still alive, Harry. You may find that hard to believe but it is true. She tried, many times, to contact you; but she never made it. She is proud of you, Harry. She has been with you the entire time, your entire life. I promised her that I would look after you if anything happened to you. She understands if you are angry with her for not being there, but she was there.

You never saw her, but she was there. She was there when Ron and Hermione died, she was there when you proposed, and she was there when you graduated, both times. Tonight, at your birthday party, she was there. She smiled when you smiled; she smiled when she saw you laugh. You turned into the son she always wanted. She was at your wedding; she told me that Ginny's gown was amazingly beautiful.

Harry, I know this is hard to take in. For your entire life, you have been told that you mother died. Now being told the exact opposite. The name below is the name your mother goes by now. She is waiting for your call. Harry, everyone is so proud of you, but no one as much as you mother.

Lily 'Montgomery' Potter.

P.S. No one else knows. If you wish to declare it, go ahead. I love you, My Son. My Harry."

The letter fell from my fingers and I flopped back in my seat. My mind was going at the speed of light, trying to figure out what I just read. I didn't notice dawn breaking through the windows. I didn't even notice Ginny enter the room and pick the letter up off the floor.

"Harry, you ok?" She asked, I just barely heard her. "Harry?" she shook me lightly.

"Sorry Gin. I am…" I paused, unsure of what I was. "Fine I guess."

"Harry, you are really pale, what's wrong?" her voice went from concern to panic.

"Ginny, read the letter. Read it!" I nodded to her hands, as I stood. "I am going to go for a run. I'll be back later."

"Ok, dear." She said as she started to read the letter.

Running normally clears my head, but today, I had a destination. I was going to pay Lily a visit. Turning the corner of her apartment building, I jogged up to her door. Looking down at my watch I saw that it was only 7:30. I paused before ringing the doorbell.

'What do I tell her? What do I say?' I thought.

I buzzed the doorbell and waited.


The doorbell rang and I grudgingly got up from the kitchen table. 'Who is visiting at 7:30 in the morning?' I reached the door and pulled it open.

"Harry? What are you doing here?" I asked, clearly shocked.

"I… I… just read the letter. Can we talk?" He seemed calm, and quite distant.

"Um… sure. Please come in." I moved aside and let him step in. "Would you like some tea or water?"

"Water, please." He asked as he followed me into the kitchen.

"So, Harry, what did you want to talk about?" I asked, handing him the glass.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Why did you wait 6 years to tell me? Where have you been? Why didn't you die?" Harry threw the questions at me.

"Hang on. One at a time. Better yet, why don't I start at the beginning?" He nodded and we walked back into the living room. "Harry, the night Voldemort attacked, I wasn't home. James was watching you kids. Melody and David had just turned four and you, Harry were one. I went to the market to get something, I don't remember what. While I was gone, Voldemort attacked. I got home just as he was killing David. James and Melody had already been killed. So I cast a spell on you. A spell that now runs in your veins. I disapparated just as Voldemort disappeared. I was sorry to leave you behind, but I knew that someone would fine you soon. I sent Sirius to the house. I went to Dumbledore, under a Polyjuice potion, and told him what I had seen in that area. I tried so hard to let go of you, so that you could live. I knew that Dumbledore would take you. I didn't know that he was going to put you with Them." I paused. Harry had tears running down his face. "Harry I am sorry." He nodded. "I watched over you, knowing that if I got too close, Dumbledore would know. Everywhere you went I went with you. Primary school, Hogwarts, The Burrow, everywhere. I was inside the Maze during the Triwizard tournament. I tried to grab on before the portkey took the two of you. I helped get everyone ready for whatever came back. When you came back, I was the first to try and get you away from Cedric." I paused, my breath becoming short. After a minute, I continued. "I saw everything, I heard the whole story. I tried to convince the Aurors that Voldemort was back. I got a few people to listen. When you came to the Department of Mysteries, I came with the Order, to help you. I saw Sirius die too. I went after you when you chased Bella. I did everything I could to prove that I could protect you. I petitioned to Dumbledore to have you in my custody, so that I could protect you and train you. He wouldn't hear of it. Everything you have done in life, I saw."

"Lily, why did you tell me this now?" Harry's voice shook.

"If I didn't tell you now, I never would have. I am sorry to drop this bomb on you so suddenly." I turned away from him. "If you never want to see me again, I understand. Just know that I will always be there." I got up and walked into the kitchen. I heard the front door open and close. "Goodbye Harry."


I shut the door and began the six-mile walk to the manor. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Dumbledore had appeared next to me. The feeling of his hand on my shoulder woke me from my thoughts.

"Harry?" Dumbledore asked. "Harry, you alright?"

I nodded my voice unwilling to work.

"Well, I just spoke with Ginny and she told me everything." Dumbledore said. "Have you talked to Lily, yet?"

Again I nodded.

"Is that why you were so wrapped in your thoughts?"

For the third time I nodded.

"Well, my boy, we have about another mile before we get to the manor, would you like to talk about it?"


a/n: Alright, here is the deal, due to some… less than flattering reviews, that I have left posted, I am adding a split ending. Directions and choices are below… if you really want to read both… then have at it… I will post an A/N at the beginning of each… to make sure it's the one you want to read.

If you want the happy ending, if a tad unrealistic and a bit unbelievable, then head to ending number one (Redemption), and ignore the other…

If you want the more realistic and more brooding anger and upset anal arse… then skip ahead to ending two (Demise).

Save the reviews for each ENDING chapter… don't review telling me that its not an ending… I know that. Please and Thanks!