I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.
As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.
I hope everyone enjoys.
Chapter Twenty Five
'Fuck, fuck, fuck,' Qhuinn thought. 'I've fucked it all up again.'
He finished rinsing the soap off, grabbed a towel and hurried after Blay.
"Blay?" He called when he didn't see Blay in the bedroom. He felt panic rising in his chest. 'He has to be in here,' he thought. He hadn't heard the door close. "Baby, where are you?"
"No more 'Baby'," Blay's eyes shot daggers at him as he came out of the closet pulling on a pair of stone washed jeans. "I should have known. The minute Jane cleared me you would go and change your tune."
"Fuck." He was ashamed. He had really done a number on Blay. The one person he needed most in the world didn't trust him. This was all his own damn fault.
"Actually, that's the one thing you don't seem to want from me," Blay spit the words at him turning back to the closet. "Guess I should be glad we managed what we did in there before you changed your mind."
"Would you shut the fuck up for one goddamn minute and let me explain?" Qhuinn yelled.
"If you're going to yell at me you can just get the fuck out of my room right now. I will not put up with that shit from you any more."
"I'm sorry, Baby," Blay flinched at the pet name and Qhuinn swallowed hard before continuing. "Just let me explain."
"Fine," Blay sat on the side of the bed. He put his hands in his lap and ducked his head. He looked so sad and defeated that Qhuinn wanted to kick his own ass. He never wanted to hurt Blay, yet that's all he ever seemed to do. 'Fuck me, I'm a total ass,' he thought.
Not sure how to start he knelt in from of Blay. "First, I didn't change my mind. I have told you and told you I am here to stay. Second, I loved what you were doing. Your mouth is fucking amazing."
He covered Blay's hands with his. 'Sweet Scribe Virgin, I love this male,' he thought and smiled at his lover.
Blay blushed, "Then what was the problem?"
"Baby, I was on the edge. I wasn't going to be able to hold back anymore," Qhuinn admitted. "Baby, I almost shoved myself down your throat. I was ready to totally fuck your mouth."
Blay looked up at him his blue eyes looked like glowing sapphires. "You could have," he whispered.
That broke Qhuinn. Good intentions be damned. He had his mouth on Blay's in less than a heart beat. He wrapped his arms around Blay's waist. Blay kissed him back with a hunger that had him growling. He stood pulling Blay up with him. "Pants off now," he growled and tossed his towel on the floor.
Blay quickly obeyed. As Qhuinn watched him shimmy the jeans down his perfectly toned legs he noted that Blay wasn't wearing any briefs. Un-fucking-believable. "Commando?"
"I wasn't thinking straight," Blay said with his cute little pouty lips looking so damn kissable.
"You're driving me crazy, Baby. I thought you said straight?" He grinned at Blay.
Blay blushed again, even deeper this time.
"So damn sexy," he growled backing Blay into the bed.
Blay rolled his eyes, "Just shut up already and kiss me."
So Qhuinn did. He wrapped one arm around Blay's waist pressing their once again hard cocks together. Amazing, they fit together so perfectly. He placed his other hand on the back of Blay's head weaving his fingers in his hair. Blay was fucking made for him.
'This is fucking Heaven,' he thought. Blay was the best thing he had ever tasted. He could kiss this irresistible, beautiful male for eternity and still not be satisfied.
Qhuinn let out another growl as Blay clung to his shoulders. Blay shifted and the next thing he knew he was on the bed flat on his back. Blay was sprawled on his chest. Blay broke the kiss then trailed kisses along his jaw line and down his neck and chest. Blay circled his nipple before flicking the ring with his tongue. A jolt of electricity went through Qhuinn. He moaned and Blay did it again this time sucking the nipple into his mouth. Blay's tongue when around and around his nipple. His lover was damn sexy. Just when he was sure he was going to come, Blay stopped. Qhuinn looked down at him.
"You really like that, don't you, Love?" Blay smiled at him.
"So fucking much, you wicked little minx," Qhuinn said stroking his cheek.
"Then I best not neglect this one," Blay latched on to his other nipple and repeat the process.
"Fuck, Baby, your mouth is amazing." He said thinking, 'I've said that so many times I'm starting to sound like a fucking broken record.'
Blay stopped again and continued his path down his chest. Blay paused and paid special attention to his abs. He licked up and down all the little dips in between and nipped at the muscles. It was really sexy too. Qhuinn never realized that abs could be this erotic.
"You have the greatest abs I've ever seen, Love," Blay told him. "I've always admired them. There one of my favorite of your features."
Those words made him feel special. He been told he had a great body numerous times, but had never felt any emotion. Blay's words made him happy and proud. Pride in himself was new to Qhuinn. He realized that with Blay he didn't feel like a reject any more. He just felt loved.
"I love you so fucking much, Blay."
"Good. Now let me show you how much I love you." Blay slid off the edge of the bed. Blay grabbed his thighs, pulled him to the edge of the bed and spread his legs open.
He sat up so he could see what Blay was up too. Blay was kneeling between his legs. His heart started racing. "Blay, you don't have to do this. I don't want you to think I expect you to be submissive all the time."
"Qhuinn, just when I think I can't love you any more than I already do, you do something so amazing you floor me," Blay said then kissed the inside of his right thigh. "Now relax. I want to do this," he kissed the inside of his other thigh. "So many times I have watched others doing this to you just wishing it was me instead."
Qhuinn took Blay's head in his hands and rubbed his thumbs along his cheeks. Looking Blay in the eyes he said, "So have I, Baby, so have I."
Blay wrapped his hand around Qhuinn's dick and started pumping it. It felt wonderful. Blay took his balls in the other hand and lightly squeezed. Qhuinn's hands dropped to his sides and gripped the comforter. This was fucking perfect. Blay held eye contact with him as he licked the tip of his cock. This was even better than the first time. He had the feeling every time was going to be better than the last when it came to Blay. In one motion Blay took him to the back of his throat again. He moaned and threaded his fingers in Blay's hair again. God he love that hair. It was always soft and silky to the touch.
"Fuck, Baby," He moaned trying not to buck and giving Blay's hair a little tug. He really didn't want Blay to think he had to let him come in his mouth. He wanted to make sure this was Blay's choice. He wanted to make sure his lover didn't feel pressured.
Blay moaned around his cock and the feeling made him jerk. Blay started moving his head up and down again, his hand mimicking the motion of his mouth. Blay moved his other hand away from Qhuinn's sack, skimming it over his thigh and hip, up along his abs and ribs, and settled it on his neck. It was the most intimate thing anyone had ever done to Qhuinn.
Blay paused for a second, his mouth full of Qhuinn, and then he swallowed taking him even farther down his throat. Qhuinn dropped back onto the bed. The pleasure was getting to be too much. Blay's hand settled in the center of his chest.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned out. Blay swallowed again. "Damn, Blay." Qhuinn could feel his orgasm building in his stomach. A warm surge moving through his body. His eyes rolled back in head. Before he could say anything he erupted into Blay's mouth. He heard Blay cough, but couldn't lift his head to check on him. He was far to gone. His body had taken over and he pumped into Blay's mouth a few more times. Then he couldn't move at all. He couldn't talk. 'Best fucking orgasm ever,' he thought.
Blay's hands slipped from his body and he felt the mattress shift as he sat on the bed.
He felt Blay nudge his chest and opened one eye.
"Qhuinn, Love," Blay had lean down to whisper in his ear.
He turned his head and capture Blay's lips. He had the most perfect male on the planet. He deepened the kiss and realized the slightly salty new flavor in Blay's mouth was him. It was sexy as hell.
He pulled back, "Blay I'm sorry. It just came on me too fast to warn you. Did you really swallow?"
"Does that surprise you?" Blay sounded so unsure of himself that Qhuinn quickly kissed him again.
"Baby, no one's ever done that with me before. You're amazing."
"You mean I'm finally the first at something with you," Blay smiled his eyes lighting up.
Qhuinn stood up and move around Blay to sit at the head of the bed against the headboard.
"Come here, Baby," he said.
Blay crawled up beside him and he wrapped his arm around Blay's shoulders. He couldn't believe how right it felt when Blay put his head on his shoulder. He then reached over and laced his fingers with Blay's. He had never considered himself anywhere near being an affectionate person, but he loved holding Blay's hand. Loved holding Blay period.
"Blay you've been a lot of firsts in my life. You were my very first friend. You were my first best friend. You're the first person I ever got drunk with," he grinned at Blay knowing this was about to get a little serious. "You're the first person I want to tell anything to. You were the first person I ever shared my thoughts and feelings with. You're the first person that ever really accepted me. You were the first person to tell me I wasn't a reject, that my defect didn't matter, that I was worth something. You're the first person to ever love me. Do you know how fucking important that is to me? You are the first person I have ever loved," Qhuinn kissed the top of Blay's head trying to lighten things up a bit before finishing. "You're the first person I've ever actually made love to, even if you've done all the work so far."
Blay looked up at him, he had tears on his face, but he was smiling, "Am not. I remember you doing some pretty wonderful things to me in that shower."
"That ain't nothing compared to what I have planned, but I'm going to finish this little speech first," he smiled and kissed Blay again. "You're the first person I've ever wanted to take care of, to protect. You are number one in my life."
"Qhuinn," Blay said running his fingers along the chain around his neck and touching his tear shaped tattoo. "You may love me more than anything, even life itself, but John Matthew will always be first in your life. Don't argue with me, there's no point. I am so proud of you for what you did for John Matthew. It was very brave and honorable that you became his abstrux nohtrum. I am so proud of you. My male, you are my male of worth."
Qhuinn kissed him again so that he couldn't see the unshed tears in his eyes. "Baby, you are too damn good for me. But like I said before I'm a selfish bastard and I won't ever give you up," he stole another kiss. "I'm never going to get enough of your mouth. You know you give the best fucking blow jobs ever."
Blay blushed, "I'm glad you liked it."
"Liked it? Blay, there isn't a word to describe how awesome that was. I don't know how many of those you've given, but I sure as hell have been on the receiving end of a lot, too fucking many to count and I am being humble saying best fucking one in history."
Blay snuggled back into his side and sounding embarrassed said, "Two."
Qhuinn didn't get it. "Two what?"
"Two blow jobs. You were my first."
That really confused him. "What about Sax?"
"We never got that far."
"What do you mean?" Even as the fury built in him, Qhuinn needed to know what had really happened between his cousin and Blay. Then maybe he could completely box it away and move on with his and Blay's new life.
"Well I never… we, umm, well…"
"Baby, take a deep breath and just tell me what happened that day," he said stroking Blay's hair. "I need to know."
"I didn't plan on anything to happen. I was just so hurt and mad and really confused. I only meant to rest with him like the night before. I knew better though, I knew going in there something would happen," Blay paused and took another deep breath. "Who am I fucking kidding? Deep down I knew it would hurt you and right then I wanted to hurt you so fucking bad. I was being petty. I wanted you to feel like I did, even if it didn't last," Blay turned and wrapped his arms around Qhuinn's waist. He was crying. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry."
Qhuinn swallowed hard before he spoke. "I deserved to be hurt. Blay, I did too many fucked up things where you're concerned. There isn't enough pain in the world to inflict on me to make up for what I've put you though. Baby, will you finish telling me? I need to hear this so I can really move on."
"Well we made out for a while and then Saxton…," Blay was embarrassed again, "Well he gave me a blow job. That was it."
"That was it? How could that be it?" He tilted Blay's face back up so he could see his eyes. No way had his cousin stopped without being satisfied. They had a lot of the same blood in their veins and he knew for a fact that when it came to sex, Sax was just as selfish as he was.
"You see . . . I called your name out when I came," Blay was ashamed. He could see it all over his face, but he was so damn happy he laughed.
Blay pulled away, "That is so not funny, Qhuinn," Blay punched him in the arm. "Asshole."
"Your asshole," he said still laughing. "I can't help it. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. If that makes me an asshole, like I said I'm your asshole."
With a boldness that surprised him Blay straddle him and sat on his lap. The feel of Blay's bare ass against him had his dick up and saluting again. He growled and flipped Blay onto his back. Raising Blay's leg he kissed a trail from his calf up to his thigh then from his belly button to the base of his throat pausing to suck the skin above Blay's throbbing vein.
"Fuck," Blay said bucking against him. Qhuinn could feel Blay hardening under him. Such a fucking turn on.
He used his tongue to follow the vein up to Blay's ear and nipped the lobe before whispering in his ear, "Am I really your first, Baby?"
"Yes, Qhuinn, only you. You're all I've ever wanted, Love." Blay's words knocked the air out of his lungs.
"You're mine, Baby, all mine," he growled as his bonding scent pour off of him.
He moved back down the bed and picked up Blay's other leg. He trailed kiss along this leg too, only this time instead of moving on to Blay's stomach he ran his tongue around the head of Blay's dick. He sucked the head into his mouth then pulled back and blew on the tip. Blay hissed and bucked. Qhuinn watched as a drop of precum appeared. He licked it off marveling at the taste and took Blay in mouth again. He took him all the way to the back of his throat. Taking a page out of Blay's book he wrapped one hand around his base.
He felt one of Blay's hands on his head and looked up. Blay was gripping the headboard above his head with his other hand. His eyes were closed and he was biting down on his bottom lip. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and it had his cock throbbing again. Qhuinn carefully worked Blay. He made sure to trail his tongue ring up and down the vein on the underside of Blay's dick. Blay twitched in his mouth and bucked against him. Blay was so close. He was so beautiful.
"Qhuinn," Blay panted pulling at his hair. "I'm about to come."
He just pushed Blay's hand away and sucked on him harder. Blay exploded into his mouth and scream his name. The cum was warm and salty, nothing like Qhuinn had expected. Not too bad. Blay pumped a few more waves of cum into his mouth. He swallowed it all. On second thought, he loved salty things. Blay tasted great.
Qhuinn trailed kisses back up Blay's body and kissed him again. He tasted blood. Blay must have bit his lip too hard. He drew back and licked Blay's lip sealing the small wound.
"Baby, you taste so damn good," he smiled down at his lover.
"Qhuinn, you are a sex god," Blay stared up at him with love in his brilliant blue eyes.
He sucked two of his own fingers into his mouth wetting them. When he removed them he looked Blay in the eyes again. "Let me make love to you. Let me take you, leelan."
As he started to move his hand down Blay grabbed his wrist.
"I love you so much," Blay said. "There's nothing I want more right now. The lube's in the night stand drawer."
Qhuinn had to smile, "Good thinking."
He opened the night stand drawer and was surprised at what he found. Not only did Blay have a bottle of lube in there he also had a vibrator. He couldn't help himself. He snatched the vibrator up and waved it in Blay's face.
"Been experimenting in your free time?"
Blay actually blushed from head to toe and covered his face with his hands. Qhuinn laughed.
Blay jerked his hands down and for the second time that evening said, "Not fucking funny, Qhuinn."
"Baby, you are so sexy when you blush. I couldn't help myself," he said toss the damn thing back in the drawer and getting the lube out this time. "Actually that thing could come in handy later. If things ever get boring it could help spice them back up. We can play with it when you get tired on me."
Blay had calmed back down while he spoke and was looking absolutely delicious again.
"I'll never be tired of you, Love," Blay said.
"Well then shall we continue," he said lifting Blay up a bit and putting a pillow under his ass. "Want you to be comfortable, Baby."
He put lube on two of his fingers and slowly worked them in and out of Blay getting him ready.
"Feel good, Baby?"
"Qhuinn, I need you in me now," Blay moaned.
Qhuinn quickly lubed up. He positioned himself at Blay's entrance and slowly and carefully pushed his head in. He watched Blay's face for any sign of pain, none showed. He continued to push in slowly until he was completely buried in Blay's sweet, tight ass.
"Blay, you are so fucking tight, so fucking perfect."
Blay's muscles clinched around him. They both moan. He captured Blay's mouth and kissed him as he started moving in and out. Every time he pulled out Blay's muscles would clinch again. The feeling was so fucking amazing. Qhuinn's bonding scent was flowing again. He had been right; no one would ever doubt Blay was his after tonight.
He must have found the right spot because Blay jerked his mouth away from his and shouted his name. Blay flung his head back leaving his neck exposed. Qhuinn felt his fangs slide out. "So fucking perfect," he whispered and sunk his fangs into Blay's vein. It was warm and sweet like honey with a little spice. It was better than any female he had ever tasted. He took just a few long pulls and noticed a new smell. Blay's bonding scent was pouring over him. Before he could completely process the event his orgasm hit him. He rode it out, his mouth never leaving Blay's neck. Blay however was screaming his name again. Finally he sealed the wounds and collapsed on top of his male.
"I seriously think my bones melted," Blay said nipping at Qhuinn's ear. "Sex God, you were amazing. You can do that to me any time you want."
"Baby, we're going to have to fucking sound proof this room," he said rolling off Blay and scooping his discarded towel off the floor. "You are such a fucking screamer."
Blay had come all over the two of them. It gave Qhuinn a feeling of satisfaction that he had pleased Blay. He had never taken the time to please others when having sex. It had always been about him getting off. More proof that this was love. Qhuinn cleaned them both off and tossed the towel again. He lay back down on his side and drew Blay to him. He pulled the throw on the foot of the bed up over them not wanting to make Blay get up to get under the covers. If it got too cold he could always grab one of the extra blankets from the closet. Over the past few days here in Blay's bed spooning like this had become his favorite way to sleep.
"I tried to be quite, I really did," Blay blushed again settling into his embrace.
"Yeah and I don't want you ever pulling that shit again. Scream all you want. I don't fucking care who hears. I'm serious we'll have the walls lined. You are not to hurt yourself again. Are we clear?" Qhuinn knew he was being a little too fucking intense, but this was his male he was talking about.
Blay turned his head to look at him. "You really are a bonded male, Love."
"And damn proud of it. I'm not the only bonded male in this room you know," he smile and gave Blay a little peck on the lips.
"It's been a long time coming," Blay gave him a scolding look when he smiled. "Don't you dare laugh at that. I'm being serious," Blay playfully smacked him on the thigh. "I love you so very much, Nallum, that at times it actually hurts."
"I love you with every fucking thing in me, Baby. I'm yours and only yours, now and forever," he kissed Blay slowly savoring the way their tongues moved together. "Now," he said pulling Blay tight against his chest again. "Let's get some rest so we can get another round or two in before Wrath orders us back on patrol."
Blay took a deep breath, "I love you always, Nallum."
He kissed the back of Blay's head. "I'll love you into the Fade. Baby, you are my everything."
Qhuinn fell asleep with Blay wrapped safely in his arms. For once all was right in his world.