Continued from the sporking of The Writer by Pstibbons

Kill Pstibbons

Ginny and Hermione worked hard to gather up their resources for going after the Department of Time. Ginny did as she felt she had to, she broke into Olivander's shop and tried every wand she could before she found one that suited her and then left with putting a few galleons down on the counter Hermione had given her. Hermione had not enjoyed the idea of stealing, of course.

Hermione discarded the bizarre yellow tracksuit and wanted to give up the motorcycle—the very idea of riding it making her cringe—however Ginny talked her out of it and they used it to hide from the Ministry. Ginny took the seat and they rode to the Ministry and made short work of infiltrating it with the use of the invisibility cloak that had belonged to Harry. All around them the Ministry was relatively unchanged, however, where once there was a great statue of a witch and wizard and various creatures around them, there stood a great monument to Hermione. She stared at it agape in horror. Ginny had to put a hand over her mouth to keep Hermione from shouting and giving their position away.

The monument had Hermione standing tall with her eyes staring coldly off into the distance, her clothes that of a loose fitting tracksuit. She held in one hand her wand and in her other a book that read Witchcraft: Magic For Witches Only. Her hair was wild around her and her face was a terrible look. It was twisted in an insane grin. Hermione looked to Ginny and they moved closer to it. There were bodies around Hermione's feet and they looked to be all male. One face in particular stood out to both women. It was Ron's. His face was cold, dead, immortalized in bronze much like everything else. Indeed, there was the end of a broomstick up his rectum like Hermione and Harry both had described.

"I don't recall—I never—did I do this?" she gasped softly. Ginny clamped her hand over Hermione's mouth as someone walked past, some ministry worker. Ginny motioned to Hermione to leave and Hermione nodded, walking with her quietly to go down into the department of mysteries. They stopped when they saw a large portrait of a dull-witted face connected to a horrible looking man. He looked like the epitome of pedophiles. He could have reigned as king of them, in fact. They grimaced and moved quickly. They didn't stop until they got to the department of mysteries. It was then that they ran into trouble.

"You came back, did you, Hinny?" said Pstibbons as he walked out from behind a hidden door. "Very good, Hermione, my precious, you did exactly as I expected you would."

Ginny looked to Hermione under the cloak and she shook her head before pulling the cloak off and smiling. "Of course! Why would I team up with a traitor? After all, the only reason I am with such a wonderful man as Harry is because of you."

Ginny glowered at Hermione, but then turned her glare at Pstibbons who simply looked at her with a sick smile spreading across his features. "I'll have fun letting your former friends torment you. Too bad your bastard brother isn't here or I'd have him rape you again and again and you would think it's that shallow Harry who was doing it to you. Oh, but don't worry. You would see it was Ron after a while and you would know that while he was raping you he was doing it because he loved it."

"My brother is—was a better man that you could ever be," said Ginny.

"Silence you colanderous fangirl! You heronista!" snapped Pstibbons. He was slobbering on himself, practically foaming at the mouth, as he screamed at her. "Don't you dare open your mouth, you shallow excuse for a character!"

"Character?" asked Hermoine.

"Right, right—you all think you're living in a world that's real. It really just comes from my world where I saw the third movie and decided to read the books. Hermione was so awesome in the movie, so beautiful and sexy in her little pink jumper, I wanted to read the books to read more about her! But then she—you got turned into a simpering little twit by that horrible J.K. Rowling! She ruined you! She ruined Harry! She made Ginny stronger than you! Well, I wasn't going to have it. I found the hidden portal to the Department of Dimensions and went through it. I brainwashed the ministry personnel with hypnosis and their own magic and then amassed myself a force! Then, when J. K. Rowling's world was about to reach the end and Voldemort was defeated and there was going to be the gap and the crapilogue, I took my army and destroyed everything."

Hermione remained quite…calm. Ginny could tell she was fighting the urge to punch him. Ginny was as well, however, they needed to get past him to get to the Department of Time. "It was surprisingly difficult to get my precious Hermione to turn back to what she was before, a strong, willful, beautiful, stunning, glorious goddess of a witch! And then to change Harry was just as hard, though that could be attributed to him being so dim and shallow. Sorry, Hermione, but it's unfortunately very true. Harry is so shallow I wouldn't argue that he belongs with Hinny there."

"It's to be expected," said Hermione. She was quite tense, stiff as a board and trying to regulate her breathing and voice.

"Yes, I'm glad you think that! I always said you deserve someone who is better than anyone in this world can offer. I would offer myself, however, it's much more enjoyable to see you loving and living with a man of better caliber than Harry or MoRon Weasel," said Pstibbons, wiping the form from his mouth. "I will admit that you gave me a lot of trouble, Hinny. You went over and wrote those books instead of Jo Rowling—or to be more exact, you became Jo. Still, I will congratulate you on writing something that gave power to me. You're not the best fanfic writer, though. That would be me."

"It's not fiction," Ginny said through her teeth.

"Say that all you want, Mrs. Rowling, however, you're not going to go much further than me. You see, I'm going to get one of your other Weasle brothers, or maybe your precious bitch of a mother or your useless father, to do all the torment to you. They deserve it. You deserve it. All of you Weasles deserve it for even existing!" Then, Pstibbons slobbered again, laughing.

"Now!" snapped Ginny.

Hermione pulled her wand and pointed it at Pstibbons in a swift motion. He was shot backward with a spell and slammed into the wall behind. Ginny grabbed Hermione's hand and they ran into the Department of Time quickly. They grabbed a time turner, a large one, and started counting the turns backwards they were going to have to take. With that done, the world changed around them, they saw people come and go, they saw Hermione doing this or that there, Harry show up, Harry and Hermione share a sweet moment here and there before it all disappeared and they were stuck in the Department of Time alone.

"Let's go," said Hermione. "We've got to kill Pstibbons."


The battle of Hogwarts was gruesome and bloody, men and women, children, were laying on the field dead or dying. Voldemort came out and taunted the rebels with letting the children live if they joined him. It seemed all was lost. Neville Longbottom, who hardly ever showed himself up until fifth year to be very brave, did the bravest thing ever and grabbed the sword of Gryffindor and used it on Nagini, Voldemort's pet snake and one of his horcruxes. The push of battle moved into Hogwarts, into the great hall, Bellatrix fell by Molly Weasley's hand and Voldemort finally found his end. All was right.

And it wasn't.

From nowhere, from the silence of the forest, from the silence of the village of Hogsmeade, there was a great many people traipsing to the castle. Harry looked out the window, hugging Ron and Hermione and broke away from them to frown at the people coming to the castle. Was it reinforcements? No, that couldn't be!

At the end was a dull-witted looking, horrible man sitting atop a throne that was being carried by five or six strong men. He stood from the throne and walked down on top of the backs of more men before touching the ground and surveying the scene. "This is not good," said the man, "This is the ruination of the Harry Potter world! Jo Rowling will pay for this! Guards! Go into the castle and seize everyone!"

Harry grabbed up his newly fixed wand and the elder wand and put the elder wand in his pocket and his phoenix feather wand in his hand. Hermione and Ron followed out with him, Ginny close behind, as well as Neville and Luna. They went to find another way outside besides the front. Several other students were doing the same. The teachers, McGonagall in particular, her face bloody from a claw mark she received on the left side of her face, went to meet these troops. They were met with aggression.

The troops overtook them far too quickly, easily, to be right. Hermione looked to Ron and grabbed his hand before looking on to the fresh fighting. This couldn't last long. They were all tired from trying to stop the deatheaters. They were all tired from trying to fight Voldemort. This could not last!

The insane man stood atop one of the fallen teachers and eyed the others that were subdued. He made his best wizards come over and start using their spells on the teachers' memories. Harry grit his teeth and looked for another way over. They found an exit that wasn't blocked off by debris or bodies and went through it. Ron came up with him and the pair of wizards shot spells off at the troops. Ron grabbed Harry and pulled him sharply away from a blast from a wand, getting hit in his shoulder himself. Hermione cried out in surprise before she pulled her wand and send a hail of spells at the men that were shooting hexes and curses at them. Harry grabbed them both and pulled them away, Ginny pulling Neville and Luna away to safety as well.

"What can we do? We're exhausted!" said Hermione.

"We can't give up, 'Mione! We have to keep going!" said Ron.

"We've got to come up with a plan," said Harry, "But what?"

"We could use the second floor as a cover," said Luna.

Harry blinked and then grinned. "Right! We can get some people up to the second floor where they'll be safe behind lots of rock to get their attention."

"I think I have an idea," said Hermione, then she ran off.

Unbeknownst to everyone on the ground there were two broomsticks flying overhead. It had taken forever, they had had to steal the fastest broomsticks available, the expensive Firebolts, to fly all the way to Northern Scotland where Hogwarts was. It was all or nothing and both witches knew that they had to do what was right for everyone, even at their expense. The world they came from could not be repeated. Ginny gave the signal and both flew down at the army. They swept over the army with spells and bombs, blowing up the zombie like masses of aurors and ministry officials. Most of all, however, they were getting Pstibbons' attention.

"GET THEM!" he snarled.

Hermione clung to her broomstick and wavered on top of it. Ginny had to move closer to her every minute just to make sure the poor girl didn't faint or vomit. Harry looked up at the two and he recognized the bushy hair and the fiery, bright red hair that streamed out from a ponytail behind the second witch's head. He looked to Ginny and she looked at him in confusion. "What's going on?" he asked her.

"I don't know. Come on, we should go see if Hermione needs help," she said.

"No, no, I'm back," said Hermione as she jogged over to them. "What's going on outside?"

"A great lot of confusion," said Ron. Hermione rolled her eyes and looked up. Ron looked to her and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She blushed faintly and looked to him.

"That is you, Ginny!" cried Neville as he pointed to one of the flying witches. "I recognize how you fly!"

"That's strange, though. Why am I out there and we're in here?" Ginny looked to them all as Hermione nibbled at her lip in thought.

"No—could we have-could we have used time turners?" asked Hermione.

"Didn't you say that would cause problems for anyone who went back in time and were seen by themselves?" asked Harry.

"Yes, well—we already know about time turners and it makes sense that there are two Ginnys and Hermiones here, but why is what I want to know," said Hermione.

Pstibbons snarled and ran for the castle; the pair of witches flew after him into the great doors of the school and had to ditch their broomsticks to run after him since Hermione still didn't quite have a handle on flying her broom. Hermione didn't bother apologizing. She had a bigger problem to deal with and Ginny knew it. They chased after Pstibbons until he couldn't run anymore. He instead turned and pulled up a notebook, writing in it quickly. "I've got it! I'll write you two into oblivion! Then I'll take over! Especially you, you telligent fangirl!" Then, he pointed at Ginny. Once more he spoke words she had no idea what he was say, and didn't really care. Together, the witches pulled up their wands and they knocked him back into the wall behind him. Ginny ran over to him and pulled up his top half.

"Ungh! This bastard is heavy!" she grunted.

"Come on, we need to get him out of here and to the Department of Mysteries before anyone comes looking for us," said Hermione.

"I know, I know, but it's hard as bloody hell to lift this fuckwit off the bloody ground!" Ginny tried again with Hermione's help and they were left panting at the effort. Hermione slapped her forehead as something came to her. "What?"

"We're witches, right? Come on, use our magic together to lift him up and we can get to one of the teacher offices and use the floo powder to get back to the Ministry of Magic!" said Hermione, laughing. It had been a long time since she had laughed at herself.

Ginny grinned and together they lifted up the body of Pstibbons. They found McGonagall's office and broke into it. They found some floo powder on the floor when the canister was pushed over by accident and tossed it into the fire, shouting their destination. It was then they heard someone behind them. "What are you doing?"

Ginny and Hermione turned to see Harry, themselves and Ron standing there in the doorway. Hermione looked to her younger self as did Ginny, both trying their best to keep from saying anything. However, if they didn't exist any longer after they dealt with Pstibbons, then it really wouldn't matter. Theoretically, the timeline would fix itself once the source of the problem was eliminated.

Harry spoke again. "What are you doing? Why are you here? Who is that?"

Ginny smiled gently at him. "You look good, Harry. You always do. Take care of yourself."

"Ginny?" he asked, his voice soft, his brows furrowed.

The younger Ginny looked to the older and then to Harry. The Hermiones did the same, though the older spoke as she looked to Ron and then to Harry. "If you see this man again, don't hesitate to do anything! He is very dangerous and he will ruin everyone's lives. He's done it before and he'll do it again!"

"I don't understand," said the younger Hermione, "What has he done?"

"He brainwashed everyone except Ginny," said the older Hermione. "She was exiled as being a traitor and… a-and Ron was killed and I was forced to marry Harry to satisfy his whims."

The younger Hermione gave her a dubious look, the older Hermione shaking her head and moving her wand. "We have to open the connection again, Ginny. Come on."

"He made me do what?" asked Harry.

"Don't ask anymore, Harry!" snapped Hermione. "You won't like it."

"What did he make me do?" Harry said more firmly.

Ginny let out a sigh of exasperation as did Hermione. "He brainwashed you into thinking I was a traitor to you both, was feeding you love potions and that Hermione was your one true love. You stayed at home like a housewife and took care of the children instead of becoming a good auror like I know you could be. He made Hermione go out and be some crazy mascot for his sick ideals including, but not limited to, the feminization of wizards and the emasculation of wizards that opposed the regime."

"What?" Harry blinked at the older Ginny as she spoke. "Is that true?"

"No, I'm blowing wind up your skirt. Yes!"

"Even worse, he made Ron do terrible things and then you and I… we… did a terrible thing to him and killed him," said Hermione. Harry looked to Ron, Ron looked white as he stared at the older Hermione. "Please, we really must go now!" she cried.

Harry nodded and looked to his friends, they backed away and stood in front of the door. Ginny let out a sigh of relief and started the floo connection all over again. Then, they shoved the body through and disappeared. It took some doing to get back to the department of dimension, but they managed it. They found it, though, and shoved Pstibbons back into his own world. Then, they closed off the portal for good and broke the ball that had the essence of it, the signature of that dimension, so that it couldn't be used again. Hermione looked to Ginny with a great deal of relief. "It's done, Ginny," she said, "We're free."

Ginny smiled and looked to the broken glass ball on the floor. She saw that her friend's feet were fading away as were her own. She looked to her friend and pulled her close into a tight embrace. "Thank you, my friend," said Ginny.

"No," said Hermione, tears coming to her eyes, "Thank you for helping me."

Then, they were no more.

From then on, everything was back to what it should have been.

The End