"Dr. Cullen speaking," I said as I answered my cell phone. I knew immediately that something was wrong. As if the screaming and yelling in the back ground weren't enough.
"Carlisle. I think you need to come home," Esme said, her voice choking on the words.
"What's happened," I asked as I hung my coat on the rack in the corner of my office and gathered my things quickly. I was on my way down the hall before she could say any more.
"I'm not really sure. Edward and Bella got into an argument and Rosalie got involved. Then the next thing we know Bella's leaving and Alice and Rosalie were fighting over whatever was said. Jasper is trying to calm everyone down. But Alice saw a vision and Edward saw it at the same time and he flew off the handle. Carlisle whatever it was it was bad. No one is doing anything except for throwing insults and throwing tantrums. Please hurry," she said quickly.
"I'll be there as soon as I can," I said before hanging up. I found my second in command quickly and explained to him something about a family emergency before I left the hospital. I hurried to my car and quickly pulled out of the parking lot. As soon as the car was shut off in front of the house I was sprinting inside and into a war zone.
"Damn it Rosalie. Why can't you just let it go. It's what she wants. And it's going to happen whether you or Edward like it. I've already seen it. I don't understand what the big deal is," Alice yelled. Rosalie was standing beside Edward as he sat on the floor his head in his hands.
"You don't know that Alice. You just want that to be the way it is. I can't do that to her. I'm not gong to let her lose her soul just because she thinks that she loves me," Edward mumbled, although we all heard him perfectly.
"It's not your choice Edward why can't you see that. You're going to lose her if you don't realize that," Jasper said.
"He's already lost her and he knows that. That's what my vision was about. She has needs too and he's been putting them off for too long. We need to do something soon or we're all going to lose her," Alice spat as she turned to leave the room. She saw me and I saw the tears that wouldn't fall in her eyes. "You need to go check on her Carlisle."
"Why does he need to go check on her. Let her go. She doesn't belong with us anyways," Rosalie snarled. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice glared at her.
"Rose, please," Esme tried to say.
"No, I'm not going to stop. This is ridiculous. We've put ourselves in danger by even being in contact with this human. I want us to be happy but at what expense. All she's doing is causing problems," Rosalie said vehemently.
"That's because," Alice began but I cut her off.
"Enough. You need to quit acting like children. Alice you're right it is her choice," I said. Alice gasped and I stopped to wait. Her eyes were wide and blank.
"Damn it," Edward said miserably.
"What's going on," Emmett asked.
"She's leaving. She's going to buy a plane ticket. But first she's going to drink some tequila she found in her dad's liquor cabinet. God, I'm so stupid. I'm loosing the girl I love because I can't give her what she wants. How the hell does that work," Edward said. He stood quickly and looked at us all.
"What exactly does she want? Is it being changed or is it the physical stuff that she's really mad about," Emmett asked.
"Both really. But right now she's just so sexually frustrated she doesn't know what else to do. So she thinks that because he won't change her, then he'll never sleep with her. I can understand where she's coming from. Seriously, she's 22 now Edward. She's young and beautiful. She's graduating at the end of this year. You've moved her across the country and yet you've still asked her to wait. So now, here in her home town years later, you're still denying her and yourself that connection. Honestly, it really isn't fair to her," Jasper said. We all looked at him in surprise. He shrugged.
"Empath, remember," he said simply. Edward looked to me suddenly.
"You can sleep with her, can't you Carlisle," he said.
"Excuse me," I asked looking at him in disbelief.
"What the hell Edward," Rosalie yelled.
"Seriously, if that's what she needs right now. Then you're the only one, out of us, who can give it to her," he said.
"Edward, that's really not," I began. I was interrupted though.
"He's right," I heard my wife say. I looked over at her in shock.
"Esme," I said in surprise. She looked at me with amusement.
"What? It's true. You're the only one who would be able to take it that far and if that's what needs to happen for her to stay in this family, then that's what needs to be done," she said simply. I didn't know what to say to that so I said nothing. I just stood there. Alice looked at me sadly.
"I can't see anything else. It's gone blank," she said quietly. I shook my head.
"I can't do that Edward. I'm sorry," I said as I looked back to my son.
"Please Carlisle," he begged. I looked around at the rest of my family. Rosalie stormed out of the room followed by Emmett who shrugged his shoulders as he left. Alice sat down and put her head in her hands. Jasper sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. I looked to Esme. She was smiling. About what, I couldn't even hazard a guess.
"Esme, you can't be serious can you?" I asked.
"I have a feeling about this Carlisle. You need to, at least, do as Alice said and go check on her. Take it from there. I trust you and I know this will all work out right in the end. Edward, Would you like to go hunting with me? Maybe we can take a short weekend trip up to see the Denali's," she said. He looked at her in confusion before nodding. He looked at me and smiled sadly. They left quickly and left me standing there.
"Well shit," I mumbled. Alice laughed quietly.
"What do you think Alice? Jasper," I asked.
"Like Esme said. It'll all be okay in the end. But someone needs to go check on her at least and I think she would be the least hostile to you," Alice said. Jasper nodded his agreement. I sighed unnecessarily.
"Fine. I'll be back. Can you at least tell me where she is," I asked.
"She's at home and Charlie's at work. It looks like he's going to have to go out of town to help with a situation so he won't be home until tomorrow. I'll let you know if anything changes," she told me.
"Okay. Well I'll be back later this evening," I said before walking back to my car. I drove slowly into town giving myself some time to think about what had happened in just the hour since I left work. I pulled into the driveway and shut off the car. I quickly walked to the door and knocked before I could change my mind. After 10 minutes she hadn't answered, so I opened the door and walked in. I heard the music playing in the living room and I followed the sound. I paused as I noticed the sight before me. Bella was sitting on the floor leaning against the couch. Her feet flat on the floor and her knees bent with her arms resting on them. Tears tracks stained her face. She was holding a bottle of tequila just as Alice had said. Thankfully, it hadn't been opened yet. I cleared my throat and she looked over to me. Her glare softening.
"What are you doing here Carlisle," she asked. I shifted on my feet nervously and she stared at me curiously. I approached her slowly.
"I heard about what happened and I wanted to make sure you were alright," I answered as she climbed slowly to her feet. She sat the bottle of tequila on the coffee table before returning her gaze to mine.
"You think I'm being stupid and hormonal don't you," she said. She sat on the couch and looked away. I slowly made my way over and sat down beside her, careful not to touch her.
"No. I actually think you've been more than accommodating. It's not fair to you that this is even something you have to worry about. You shouldn't have to feel as if you need to convince your boyfriend to have sex with you. Although it's one of the hazards of dating a vampire," I said. She wiped the fresh tears off of her face before looking at me again. Her hazel and green eyes were still glassy with tears.
"It doesn't matter. It's over. I can't do it anymore Carlisle. I need to be loved by a man who isn't afraid to make sacrifices to be with me. Who doesn't treat me as if I'll break. Who isn't so controlling all the time. I want an equal. Not a protector. I love him, but I've realized love doesn't make a relationship work. And he's not willing to compromise. On anything. Not just the sex and the changing me. Just everything. Carlisle, what am I supposed to do," she asked quietly.
"Bella. If you want to try and make it work with Edward until you can convince him to change you, I might have a suggestion to the other part of the problem," I said. She looked at me sadly.
"And what might that be Carlisle," she asked. I cleared my throat and I stood.
"Well Edward knows that I have the best control in the household. So, he actually asked if I would help you with the physical aspect of the relationship," I said quickly. She looked up at me in shock.
"Are you serious? What about Esme? Did he not even think about the two of you before he asked that? What the hell is he thinking," she said harshly.
"Actually Esme was the only one to agree with him," I told her quietly.
"What," she asked.
"I was confused too. I'm not really sure what they're expecting from either of us at this point but I still wanted to come and make sure you were okay. Alice saw the tequila," I said with a small smile as I returned to her my seat beside her. She looked at me shyly.
"Yea, my dad's not going to be home tonight so I figured I'd be a stupid young adult for once. I mean, other than Emmett taking me out for my twenty first I've never really drank before," she said before looking at me curiously, yet again.
"Did you want to say something Bella," I asked.
"Would you really do that for me Carlisle," she said. Her eyes studied my face intently looking for some sort of sign.
"I would do anything for you Bella. Just as the rest of the family would. But I can understand if," I said before she moved forward and placed her lips on mine for a chaste kiss, effectively cutting off the rest of my statement. I slowly placed my hand on her cheek before pulling away. My lips were tingling and I smiled slowly at her as my cool thumb caressed her warm skin. "Bella. Think about what it is you really want. I'm just a replacement. A substitute."
"Never," she said simply before pressing her lips against mine again. I pushed my confusion about her words away as I relaxed. If this is what she wanted then I wouldn't fight her on it. None of us could ever refuse Bella. I thought of my wife briefly before Bella's tongue grazed my lower lip gently. All thoughts disappeared when we both gasped as a jolt went though my body. I could only assume the same had happened to her as she moaned lightly. My hand moved lightly down the side of her face and across her neck to wrap around the base of her head. I pulled her closer as my tongue met hers gently. She shivered and I pulled away trying to give her time to realize who she was with.
"Carlisle," she whispered. Her eyes opened and she looked up at me. She leaned into my body and placed her hand on my chest. She pushed gently until I was leaning back on the couch. She crawled up my body and settled herself down on my hips. One leg on each side of my body. She leaned down and brushed her lips across mine again and I smiled gently. She pushed her hips down onto mine and I felt myself growing hard from the simple movement. I felt her lips brush mine a second time and I moaned faintly.
"Bella," I said softly, as the electric current flowed through me again.
"Carlisle. I don't want you to feel obligated to do this. If you don't want me I'll understand," she whispered quietly into my ear and her hand ran up into my hair. I turned my head and kissed her neck gently as I ran a hand gently up her spine. We both shuddered at the touch. I'd never felt so much energy in such a small gesture. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop unless she truly wanted me to.
"Isabella, how could I not want you. Even if you're not mine to have," I told her. She lowered her head to my shoulder and I felt her lips on my neck. She kissed up my neck to my ear.
"Please, Carlisle. Please, make love to me. Make me feel beautiful. Make me feel anything. Please, I need you," she whispered, as she pulled away, her eyes begging me not to abandon her. That was all I needed to hear. I sat up slowly as I kissed her neck. I put my hands under her thighs as I stood. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her fingers brushed through my hair as I made my way up the stairs and into her bedroom. I laid her on the bed gently and removed my shirt, my undershirt and my shoes before I joined her. I was on my knees between her thighs, my hands running delicately up her legs. She looked up at me with hooded eyes. I could feel her burning gaze as it seared my soul. I lifted her shirt as my fingers barely brushed her stomach. Her muscles quivered slightly. She sat up and her shirt joined mine on the floor. She quickly removed her bra and I could only stare at her flushed body before me.
"You're exquisite Isabella," I told her. She smiled at me shyly. I ran my finger slowly from her collar bone down through the valley between her perfect breasts. She shivered at the touch and her eyes closed. I traced a design over her ribs and her body arched towards me. A small gasp escaped her as my hand moved up and my thumb brushed her nipple. Her skin tightened at my cool touch and I smiled gently. I loved her reactions to just the smallest movement. I rolled the pebbled nipple between my fingers and her hips ground down onto my leg. My other hand grazed down her stomach and popped open the button to her jeans. I lowered the zipper slowly and she lifted her hips and helped me pull her jeans and sheer panties down her legs. She kicked them to the floor. I leaned down and kissed her hip lightly. My tongue flicked out to taste her skin. She moaned, breathlessly. I ran both hands down her sides and to her inner thighs. I could smell her delicious arousal and I wanted to taste her sweet scent.
"Carlisle" she gasped in surprise as I slowly licked her clit. Her hands flew to my hair and gripped tight as I applied more pressure. "Oh fuck, Carlisle."
"Do you like that Bella," I asked her, my voice deep with desire. I could feel my dick throbbing with need. Her hands tugged my hair and I looked up at her as I continued to savor her sweetness.
"Oh! Fuck! Yes! Carlisle. Please," she screamed. I growled deep in my chest and she looked down at me passionately. Her eyes were locked with mine. I could see the fire burning, waiting to be released. I ran a finger gently up her thigh. I gently ran it over her warm, moist clit and she quivered intensely. I ran it along her wet slit as I gently slid a finger into her, pressing my tongue to her clit at the same time. She let out a moan and her hips arched towards me. "Carlisle! Please!"
"Patience, my Isabella. Just enjoy yourself," I told her as I slid another finger in slowly to join the first. She pushed her hips down even further and a gasp escaped her. I began moving my fingers in time with my tongue. The sounds coming from her mouth were addicting in their richness. I felt pride and possessiveness, knowing I was the first person to make her feel like this. Her hands jerked my hair hard and I growled again letting the vibrations reach her clit. Her back arched and she let out a deep throaty moan as her first orgasm exploded through her, my name spilling from her lips. I felt her body convulse around my fingers and I moaned in anticipation. She whimpered as she came back to earth and she opened her eyes to look down at me.
"Carlisle," she breathed. I kissed my way up her body as I continued to circle her clit gently. She pulled my face to her and kissed me deeply. I moaned low in my throat. I felt another rush to my now, fully erect dick, knowing she was tasting herself on my tongue. Her lips and tongue danced a trail to my ear and she gently tugged on the lobe with her teeth.
"You have too many clothes on Dr. Cullen," she said in a sultry voice that made my body shiver.
"Fuck Isabella," I whispered. I smelled her arousal spike and I grinned into her hair. "So you like it when I talk dirty?"
"So you like it when I call you doctor," she replied cheekily. I could feel her smiling as she kissed my neck. Her hands ran down my chest lightly and I could feel the shock that her touch left behind. She palmed me gently through my slacks and I purred deeply and nuzzled her neck.
"I hope that's not your stethoscope," she said teasingly before she gently bit where my pulse used to race. My hips jerked forward and I had to turn my face away from her neck.
"Oh god, Bella," I murmured. She hummed a response as she ran circles along my neck with her tongue as she sucked gently. I felt my slacks loosen and then her warm hand descending on my throbbing erection. I whimpered as I felt the heat caressing me. I buried my face in her hair and I closed my eyes tightly.
"Roll over," she whispered. I nodded and rolled to my back. She moved down and pulled my pants and boxers down over my hips and then down my legs. I heard them hit the floor as she settled herself between my legs. Her lips danced across my stomach as she wrapped her hand around the base of my dick.
"Fuck, Bella," I gasped as I felt her tongue sweep across the head. My hands flew up to the pillow under my head. My hips arched up as her mouth closed over me. All I could do was mumble incoherently as she sucked gently, moving up and down slowly. The heat and electrifying charge rushed through my body and my eyes closed as I enjoyed the warmth of her mouth. I looked down at her and almost came at the sight of my dick sliding into her mouth and her lust filled eyes looking up at me. "Dear god. Bella, love, you need to stop."
"Should I do something different," she asked as she pulled away. I drew her up my body and rolled her to her back. I settled myself between her legs and rubbed myself against her clit gently. Her eyes fluttered closed and she moaned quietly.
"No, you were doing it perfectly. Too perfectly. I just want to be inside you when I cum and if you hadn't stopped, that wouldn't have happened," I told her as I kissed over her collar bone.
"Oh," she replied. I smiled as I moved up and kissed her deeply. She arched against me and ran her hand up into my hair.
"Carlisle, please," she whispered as she pulled away. Her eyes locked with mine and I felt the connection between us deepen. I couldn't look away, even if I had wanted to.
"It's going to hurt," I said quietly. Her eyes never left mine as she smiled.
"I trust you Carlisle. I want to feel you in me," she said. I smiled at her gently. I ran a hand lovingly down her cheek as I cupped her face and kissed her again. When we broke apart our gazes locked again as I positioned myself at her entrance. I moved one hand to her clit and began rubbing circles against the sensitive flesh. She moaned and her eyes fluttered again but she didn't break eye contact. I began pushing into her slowly and she gasped.
"Oh god Carlisle," she breathed out. I continued pushing gently until I felt her barrier. I stopped and held myself there as I increased the speed of my fingers and soon she was panting as her orgasm raced closer. I held her hips down with my other hand as her fingers tightened their grip in my hair. Our eyes stayed connected as her eyes clouded over with passion as her orgasm hit her hard and I finally pushed all the way into her.
"Isabella," I whispered as I felt her body convulse around me. I fought the urge to thrust as I stayed sheathed inside her. I could smell the scent of her blood drift into the room and I fought the primal need to mark her that rushed though me.
"Carlisle," she said questioningly. I leaned down and kissed her as hard as I dared. She moaned into my mouth and thrust her hips forward. I growled and pulled away. I buried my face into her neck and inhaled deeply. I could feel her heat and blood rushing through her veins. I licked and nipped at her neck as my hand moved up to grip her hair. "Carlisle. You're eyes are nearly black."
"Isabella," I crooned as I gently pulled her head to the side. I ran my teeth down her neck, careful not to break the skin. She shivered and moaned as I pulled out and thrust back in slowly. I purred low in my chest. "You're so fucking tight. God you fit me like a fucking glove."
"Let go Carlisle. Please, let go and let me feel you. I need to feel you," she said darkly as she ran her fingers down my back and gripped my ass. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me forward with both her legs and her hands. She moaned deeply and I watched as she threw her head back and bit her bottom lip. I took her arms and moved them up above her head, holding them there with one hand. I took my other arm and slid it under her leg. I lifted the leg up onto my shoulder as I pulled out and thrust forward again. She gasped my name. I purred in return. I repeated the motion and she moaned deeply. "More."
"Isabella," I murmured as I started a slow pace. I closed my eyes as I lost myself to the heat and pleasure of her body. I opened my eyes and I met her eyes once more. This time I didn't look away.
"Harder," she murmured. I moved faster and deeper as I lifted her hips slightly.
"Fuck, Carlisle right there. Don't stop," she panted. I continued moving deeply hitting that spot that had her thrusting and gasping beneath me. "Fuck me Carlisle. God, fuck me. Please don't stop. Fuck. Fuck."
"Touch yourself Isabella," I growled as I let go of her hands. I grabbed at her free hand as her other moved down to rub feverishly at her clit. I locked our fingers together and squeezed gently. We moved together roughly as the pleasure built between us. I could feel the coil tighten with in me and I nearly broke eye contact the moment was so intense. But I couldn't. I didn't want to lose this connection I felt with her at this moment. The connection I'd never felt with anyone ever before.
"Carlisle," she murmured as her breath began to catch in her throat. I thrust as deep as I could go and I felt her body envelop me, the spasms milking me as her orgasm tore though her, her body trembling with pleasure. She screamed my name as she held my gaze.
"Oh god Bella. Fuck, you feel… oh fuck, so fucking good," I murmured as I joined her a few moment later, the pleasure crashing through my body. I continued to thrust as deep and hard as I could as her body drained me. The ecstasy that wrapped around my body was intensified by whatever bond that had us linked together. The current of passion and desire that flowed from my body to hers, from her body to mine. I lowered my forehead to hers as I lowered her shaking leg back to the bed. My hand shook as I raised it to smooth her hair away form her face. She saw it and tears filled her eyes. I kissed her gently and lovingly as her hands came up to my shoulders to pull me closer. I rolled us to our sides as the tears spilled from her eyes. I went to pull out of her but she held me still by wrapping her leg around my waist. "Not yet. Just stay there for a moment," she whispered. I caressed her shoulders and back gently as we lay there staring at the other, hanging onto the bond we now had for as long as dared. She ran her fingers over my face before leaning up for another kiss. When we finally pulled away I buried my face into her neck breathing in her scent that was now mixed with mine.
"My Isabella," I whispered gently kissing her gently in the spot that I would have marked her had she been mine.
"My love," she whispered back. She pulled me into one last desperate kiss before pulling away and breaking the physical connection between us. She stood from the bed taking the sheet and wrapping it around her. She walked on shaking legs to the window and looked out in to the sky that was growing dark from the setting sun. She looked back at me and smiled. "Thank you."
"Bella," I said quietly as I stood and took a step towards her. She looked away as tears rolled down her cheeks. I felt my body urging me to go to her, to comfort her, to make her mine. But I knew I couldn't. I felt for her what I had never felt for Esme, but this beautiful creature that stood before me wasn't mine. The connection between us was still there, drawing us towards each other but we held ourselves back.
"I will always remember this moment Carlisle. Always. But I think it's time for you to return to your family," she whispered. I nodded and turned away from her even as my body ached to go to her. I dressed swiftly, leaving my plain white undershirt on the floor next to her bed, and turned to face her one last time. I inhaled her scent one last time and smiled at her gently as I moved forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Goodbye. My Isabella," I whispered as I turned to leave.
"Goodbye. My love," she replied softly. I left quickly, fighting the urge to return to her as I quickly got in my car and began the drive home. I could smell her scent, consuming my senses in the enclosed car. I didn't dare open the window though. The feelings of love, longing, absolute pain, and confusion only got worse the closer I got to my home. As I pulled up the drive and parked in front of the house I felt as if my heart was being torn from my body. Nothing felt right. I felt lost for the first time in 400 years. I saw my family come to stand on the porch as I climbed out of the car slowly. I don't know how but as I looked up at Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Edward I think they knew exactly what had happened. I had finally found the one person I was meant to be with but she was the one person I could not have. The one person I'd never expected. I turned my face away from them.
"Carlisle," Jasper said quietly. I couldn't speak.
"She's your," Alice whispered but I cut her off with a shake of my head.
"It doesn't matter," I whispered brokenly, swallowing a sob as it rose in my throat, "She's not mine to have."
"Carlisle," someone said but I couldn't even focus enough to tell you who. I couldn't take it any more. I turned and fled away into the woods surrounding the home. Stumbling for the first time as my body shook from the sobs wracking through my body. I heard someone calling my name but I couldn't stop. My vision blurred with tears I could never shed and I stumbled again, this time colliding with a tree. As it crashed to the ground I stopped and sank to my knees. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me to them. I was vaguely aware that it was Alice. I felt Jaspers hand on my shoulder as he tried to calm me, but all I could do was scream out in complete sorrow and pain as I felt my soul rip apart from the loss of my soul mate.