Think you've read a terrible, cliché Seddie fic? Well, this one beats all.
"Oh my gosh, Carly!" gushed Sam as she sorted through the dresses.
"That dress is totally perfect, Sam!" Carly grinned at Sam's hot pink dress.
Sam nodded, screeching a girly screech. "I'm gonna look so, so pretty!"
"And then Freddie will drool over you," Carly promised.
"Wait, I don't like Freddie," Sam thought for a second. "Never mind, I totally do! I hope he'll think I'm so, so pretty and drool over me!"
"But he won't know who you are, Sam," Carly reminded her. "We're in disguise."
"Ooh!" Sam squealed. "Even better. Then he won't know who I am, even though you can see my blue eyes that, according to most, are recognizable anywhere and my blonde curls and even though I'll be the same height because I'll wear Converse instead of heels, of course-"
"Shush!" hushed a giggling Carly. "You're not supposed to make the story look bad. He just will be stupid enough to not know who you are, right? And he won't even try to look for me, even though he's 'supposedly' in love with me, because he has true feelings for you, he just doesn't know it yet."
"All right, enough already!" Sam exclaimed. "Just skip to the ballroom scene."
"Even though we don't know where the school got a ballroom," Carly added. "Oh, well, next scene!"
Scene 2: Ballroom (which is who knows where) (Oh, and by the way, it's a random change to present tense. Don't know why)
Sam walks in, and everyone's eyes are on her, because they apparently don't have anywhere better to look. Even though usually at school dances, it's dark and no one sees people come in. Unless they are stalkers.
Freddie, who's supposedly the hottest guy in the school now even though on iCarly he's just a tech dork, flexes his newfound hot boy muscles. "Yo, who is that?" he whispers to Gibby.
"I don't know," Gibby replies. "I mean, she looks awfully familiar, a lot like that girl I see everyday with the blonde curls and blue eyes. Only a bit of the area around her eyes is covered up, but no, no idea…."
However, Freddie immediately recognizes Carly. But he doesn't feel any jealousy when he sees her dancing with some other guy. OH MY GOSH…why am I not jealous? She's dancing with another guy, why am I not jealous? I should be jealous. Does this mean I don't like Carly? I don't like Carly, all right. Now, next in this five minute thinking session, I have to figure out who I like. Sam. Cool, I now like Sam, even though it took me less than five minutes and nothing special to realize this. Nice, I'm over Carly and I've now moved onto Sam.
Meanwhile, Gibby peers into Freddie's eyes, and realizes he's zoned out. So even though Carly is dancing with the other guy, he goes, steals her away, and probably goes and makes out with her in a bathroom stall or something. But who cares about them anyway? This story is about Freddie and Sam.
So Sam sees Freddie and thinks something like He's really cute, without realizing that he looks a lot like Freddie. Then she goes and gets some punch. He sees her, recognizes her as the pretty girl that made the cool entrance, so he goes and asks her to dance.
Of course she accepts, and of course like some Another Cinderella Story knockoff, they are both amazingly terrific dancer.
So they pirouette (which is usually for girls, but Freddie's apparently now more feminine), and they do some tap moves, and they do the salsa. And the boring people who still don't have anything better to do stop and watch them.
Now they share a tender kiss. It has lots of sparks though. At the end, Sam realizes that Carly's limo is coming so she just randomly dashes out. She doesn't care much about Freddie's feelings. Then like some sick and twisted Cinderella, she leaves something of hers there.
"OMG!" exclaims Freddie, though he would never say this in the show. "I SO HAVE TO FIND THIS GIRL! OMG I HOPE IT'S SAM…NO I DON'T…YES, I DO! But even though I want it to be Sam, I will probably check her last, just to add drama. Even though it's not really drama….but oh well, who cares?"
Scene 3: Searching (which isn't a place, but who cares?)
So then 'Prince' Freddie goes around looking for his 'Princess'. Meanwhile, Sam's sitting at home, sulking, because apparently fearless Sam is too scared to tell Freddie that it was her at the dance. And Carly's doing…who knows what?
When Freddie goes to Carly's, she acts like she's some weird stepsister person and tries to pretend the object is hers (even though she has brown, not blonde hair, and looks nothing like the mystery girl). Freddie almost believes her but then uses logic to figure out it's not her. So he leaves a pouting Carly to continue searching.
He runs into Valerie, Melanie, Shannon and pretty much every single girl he's ever dated/ shown interest in on the way. But of course, they're all pretty much still in love with him, because of course there are no better guys for them, and there's still nothing better for them to do than sit around and pine over him. But Freddie's so sure he's in love with Sam that he turns them all down (but if he's so sure he's in love with Sam, why is he even searching for this mystery girl? We all know how disappointed he'll be if it's not Sam, so what's the point? The world may never know).
Then, finally, he picks up his stupid butt and hightails it over to Sam's. She's sulking in her room still. She is probably listening to depressing music because she still has nothing better to do (and still no one ever does anything interesting). He asks, "Is this yours?"
***CLIFFHANGER/ A/N: OMG IS IT HERS? I know you all know but still***
Sam looks at him and says, "Yeah. It's mine."
His eyes go so wide because he never suspected it. "It's YOURS?"
"You hate me, don't you? OMG I never should have thought you would like me! Of course you wouldn't, you're still in love with Carly! AHHHH!" Sam begins to cry.
Freddie begins to rub her back, then gets a tissue to dry her tears. Sam gets snot all over his new sweater but Freddie doesn't care. "I'm so not in love with Carly."
"Well, who are you in love with? And why do you have my item of clothing?" Suddenly, it hits her (FINALLY!). "OMG you're that guy from the dance! And OMG I say OMG way too much but who cares? You danced with me and we kissed so we're totally in love now, right?"
"I love you," he says with so much emotion.
"I love you, too! And I so didn't see that coming!" She squeals and giggles. She then jumps on top of him and starts kissing him. "Wow, Freddie, I always thought you were a dork but now I see you're really perfect!"
"And through all the emotional abuse I found out you're so cool!" Freddie sighs. "Wow, this is such a happy ending that I'm going to start crying."
"We finally get our happy ending," Sam sobs, and then kisses Freddie again and again.
REAL A/N: Gosh, that was horrible. YAY! Hope it made you laugh even a little.
I still ship Seddie, don't worry!
NOTE: This is not going against Seddie Cinderella fics in general in any way. Some are really good and I love them! However, this is going against all terrible, cliché fics. And I realize that some of mine are cliché…ㅠㅠ but it's ok!
Well anyway, review! Please?
Would you guys want next chap to be a Creddie, Cam, Cibby, Sibby... which ship do you want me to parody? And which cliché? I'm not the best at clichés from these pairings.