"Everyone thinks we're doing it."
Remus looked up from the paper and frowned.
"What? What are you talking about?"
Sirius sat at the head of the table, reclined back in his chair and idly toying with a cup of tea.
"I said, everyone thinks we're doing it. You know," he smirked suggestively. "Messing about. Between the sheets."
Skeptical, Remus studied Sirius' face.
"And why would they think that?"
"You'd have to ask them why. I expect they think since you live here all the time...two close old friends reunited after thirteen years. Wink wink, nudge nudge and all that."
"We have separate bedrooms," Remus pointed out.
"Just for show, they think." Sirius grinned.
"Who exactly thinks this and how do you know?'
Sirius was trying to hide a slightly devious expression behind his tea cup, and Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Have you been at the twins' Extendable Ears again?"
At least he had the grace to look a bit guilty, thought Remus.
"I get bored!" Sirius defended himself. "And you have to admit they really are brilliant."
"Sirius," Remus sighed. "I still don't see why anyone would believe that. And just who thinks so anyway?"
"The lot of them-Molly, Kingsley, my cousin, all the regular visitors, I think Fred and George suspect, as well."
"There's nothing to suspect!"
"There could be."
His cocky grin held a challenge.
Remus raised his eyebrows high.
"Why not, Moony? It's not as if either one of us has a line of birds queued up outside waiting to beat down our door."
"No one says "bird" any more," Remus pointed out.
"Whatever." Sirius rolled his eyes. "What do you think about us having a mid-morning shag?"
"No one says "shag" anymore either. Well," Remus amended. "Unless you're using it ironically."
"Oh for-" Sirius threw up his hands in dramatic display. "Call it whatever the fuck you like. Are you in or not?"
"Sirius, you're not gay."
Sirius shrugs. "Never let it be said that I am not willing to try new things."
"Sirius, I'm not gay."
Fingers drummed the table as Sirius thought about that one.
"It'd be a learning experience, Moony. Consider it research."
Remus' mouth quirked.
"Research for what exactly?"
"On how good it feels to be sucked off by a bloke! Christ, Remus, I just want to get off! Stop being so difficult!" Sirius threw himself back in the chair and crossed his arms, working himself up to a good sulk.
"You'd suck me off?" Remus asked with great interest.
"Well, that perked you right up," Sirius smirked, good humor restored in the blink of an eye.
"Have you ever done it before? Sucked off a bloke?"
"No," Sirius stretches out the word slowly and Remus can tell he's trying to come up with a story to convince Remus he'd be brilliant at it regardless.
"Have you ever even kissed a bloke?"
"No, but that's beside the point. I want to shag you, not snog like a couple of first years in a broom closet."
"I thought you wanted to suck me off."
"I want to do both. S'only fair I get something out of it, too."
"Thank you," Remus said dryly.
"You know what I mean."
"I'm not sure I ever do," Remus denied, an infuriating smirk slanting his mouth again.
"Are you going to fuck me, or what?" Sirius demanded.
"So now I get to fuck you? This is getting intriguing."
Sirius manfully ignored the teasing and leaned forward. "Well?"
He watched as Remus tipped his chin back, in seeming thoughtful examination of the ceiling.
"Moony," Sirius growled.
Remus dropped his chin and looked at him.
"I don't think I can agree to this, Padfoot."
"Why the hell not?"
"It's the no kissing bit. Makes it all a bit too clinical for my tastes. Ta, though."
With that, Remus picked up the paper and shook it out in front of his face. Seconds later it crumpled as Sirius leaped out of his seat and swiped it away with an irritated snarl.
"Remus, stop toying with me! We can kiss, as well, if you want to be a big girl's blouse about it."
"Really?" His voice held a faint tone of disbelief.
"Yes, really," Sirius mimicked.
The moments ticked by and they stared at each other, one agitated, the other infuriatingly calm. Then Remus gave a slight tilt of his head.
"Well, go on then."
When Sirius just stood there half-crouched over him and gaping, Remus took matters into his own hands. He pushed his chair back, pulled Sirius into his lap, and snogged him decidedly unlike two first years in a broom closet.
It had been a long time. A long long time, and Sirius didn't remember any kiss ever being as good as this. Not even close. Remus was just so...so thorough, so intense and skillful that Sirius could only melt against him with an embarrassing whimper and let him explore his lips and tongue with willing surrender.
"Wow," Sirius said breathlessly when Remus finally released him.
"That's what Prongs said."
"That's what he said when he asked me to kiss him in sixth year."
"You snogged Prongs?"
"Well, kissed. Once. He was having a some sort of existential crisis, I think. Got over it quick, though, once that bird he was seeing at the time finally let him get to third base."
"I thought you said no one says 'bird' anymore, and where was I during all this?"
"It was during one of your infamous Black sulks. You were too busy swanning about disaffectedly to notice."
Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Remus. "You seem awfully comfortable with this."
"Yes, you do," Sirius said. "Very comfortable. Are you sure you're not gay?"
"I may have lied about that."
For once, Sirius was struck dumb. He stared unseeing down at the crumpled up newspaper where Minister Fudge was chasing his bowler hat out of the frame as a gust of wind carried it off.
"Is that a problem?" Remus asked, and he finally did sound a bit nervous.
Sirius raised his eyes and smiled slowly. "No. It's rather a good thing, really, seeing as how I may not have been completely honest about that either."
There was a moment of silence.
"No one really thinks we're doing it, do they?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked sheepish.
"It seemed like a good ice breaker at the time," he offered with typical Sirius logic.
"Well, you've talked me 'round." Remus grinned. "Good show. When can we get back to the idea of you sucking me off?"
Sirius' grin grew positively wicked and he slid from Remus' lap to the floor.
"Your wish is my command, my dear Moony."
Remus snorted. "Your command, my arse. Perhaps if it-oh, fuck..."
Making Remus Lupin temporarily lose his powers of speech had to be one of the most satisfying feelings in the world, and quite a little ego boost, as well. "I told you this was a brilliant idea," Sirius tried to say around a mouthful of Remus' cock.
"Nngh," Remus replied, fisting his fingers in Sirius' hair and tugging him forward in a manner to encourage him to shut up and get the hell on with it.
Sirius did and all too soon Remus was moaning his name in a most flattering way and happily coming down Sirius' throat. Eventually, Sirius sat back on his heels and swiped a hand across mouth. "Well?" He grinned up at Remus who looked deliciously discomposed, all heaving chest and flushed face.
"I thought you said you've never done this before," Remus accused, though the blissed out smile he was sporting belied the tone.
"Yeah." Sirius rubbed the back of his head and grinned. "May have lied about that, as well."