Pearls of Wisdom From Zartan

A/N: Okay, here it is for my vast legions of fans (insert hysterical laughter), the latest in the highly-acclaimed (yeah, right!) "Pearls of Wisdom" series! I'm writing this on caffeine and sugar on an empty stomach. Not the brightest move on my part, but there you go. Read and review! Both compliments and complaints equally welcomed, as long as they're polite. Also, for any who may be interested, I have a "Top Ten" list featuring Destro on the Misc./Lists section of (I just won't leave the man alone). Check it out! Thanks muchly! :-)

Disclaimer: COBRA is still way too dangerous for me to possibly lay claim to. Besides, the humidity at their jungle bases is just unreal.


It was the middle of the afternoon, and Bobby was frantic.

School was out for the day, and he had come home as usual before preparing to go out and meet the other kids out in the open field nearby. But before he could leave the house, a cop car had pulled up at the curb and parked. The officers were downstairs talking to his mother now.

"Oh, no," he moaned, pacing restlessly around his room. "What if they know about the stolen guns? I don't wanna go to jail!" Sweat formed on his brow, and his hands grew clammy with fear. "How am I gonna get out of this? Maybe I can run away... yeah..." Bobby abruptly ran to his closet and pulled out a duffle bag.

Once again, a voice from behind him interrupted him at his task; but this one was smooth, almost unearthly-sounding. "Not so fast, young one... there may be another way."

Bobby whirled around, the duffle bag hanging from his hand. "Zartan!" he cried out, a look of profound relief spreading over his features.

Zartan winced, holding up his hands in a restraining motion. "Not so loud, boy!" he hissed, jerking his head in the direction of the police downstairs.

"Oh—right," Bobby whispered back, his face flushing with embarrassment. "So what can I do? The cops are gonna find out about the guns!"

"What you need here is a simple diversion," the leader of the Dreadnoks told him. "Simply call the police station and tell them you know about the crime, directing them to one of your friends' houses. Tell them that even though he's your friend, you can't let him get away with breaking the law. Be sure to leave some incriminating evidence at the scene for the police to find. If your friend tries to connect you with the theft, the cops will merely think he's attempting to extract revenge on you for turning him in. They think they've found the culprit, and you're left in the clear. If you're lucky, you might even get a cash reward for the information." Zartan smiled broadly at the boy.

"Hey, yeah!" Bobby agreed excitedly. "I could send them after Dave; he's been a real jerk to me lately, anyway... Thanks, Zartan—now I know!" He gave the mercenary shapechanger an enthusiastic grin.

Zartan returned it with an almost parental air, nodding. "And knowing is half the battle."



Man, I need therapy... *sigh*