Hey. So this is just a little ditty I wrote a few months back when I was still working on the story I just finished. I figured I'd post it while I figure out what I want to do for my next fic. So you know, this isn't at all how I really imagine a post-Shanshu Angel, but the idea just popped into my head and amused me, so I went with it.
Obviously, I don't own the characters. I'm just playing with them a little. Hope you enjoy!
Buffy looked up from the stove at a noise from outside. She felt like a housewife, cooking dinner for her honey, but ever since Angel's Shanshu, they'd been taking turns trying to cook their way through her mother's whole cookbook collection in Angel's excitement to taste every kind of food possible.
She put her spoon down as Angel crashed wildly into the room, panic in his eyes.
"Angel, what is it?" she asked, alarmed.
"Buffy, something's wrong! I… I don't think I'm a normal human!"
"Well, we knew that."
"No, I mean I think I'm still part vampire."
"Okay, slow down. If that's true, we can deal."
"Deal? Buffy, I-"
"Just calm down. Why do you think you're still part vamp?"
"The sun!" he exclaimed.
"I still burn in the sun!"
"What?" she asked, utterly bewildered.
"The sun!" Angel said frantically, grabbing her arms. "It still burns me!"
"Angel, we had a picnic outside yesterday," she said slowly.
"You've spent the past two days outside."
"How can you say the sun still burns you?"
"Look at me!"
Buffy finally took a step back to look at him. He was shirtless, wild-eyed, and… bright red. She stifled a laugh.
"See?" he asked, still panicked.
Unable to hold it in any longer, Buffy burst out laughing.
"What?" asked Angel, offended. He looked at Buffy, who was now doubled over laughing. He started to cross his arms in annoyance, only to wince in pain. "Buffy, this is serious!" he said.
"Angel," she said, trying to breathe. "You just have sunburn."
"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" he cried, making her laugh even harder.
"Buffy!" he cried, a petulant whine creeping into his voice.
Some time later, Angel had calmed down a bit and was listening to Buffy's explanation of sunburn.
"Are you sure you're not just trying to make me feel like I'm normal?" he asked suspiciously.
"I wouldn't dream of pretending you're normal," Buffy said, her lips twitching.
"But humans are fine in the sun!"
"Remember when you tried to eat everything on the menu at that restaurant the first time we went out to eat?"
Angel winced at the memory.
"The saying is 'all things in moderation.' The sun is included in that."
Angel pouted at the thought of not being able to enjoy the sun as much as he wanted and Buffy chuckled, pulling out a bottle from the drawer and handing it to him.
"This is sunscreen," she said. "Put it on whenever you're going to spend a lot of time in the sun and it'll prevent this from happening.
Angel looked at the bottle in awe. "Really?"
Buffy smiled at his amazement. "Modern science. Who'd'a thought. Now come on. Let's go put some aloe on you."
"Man," said Angel. "Food, nutrition, sleep cycles, doctor's appointments, sunscreen…" he shook his head. "Being human requires a lot more maintenance than I remember."
Several days later:
Angel came barreling down the stairs in a state of panic.
"Buffy! Buffy! My skin! My skin's coming off!"