A/N: Yeah, I know, I suck at life and all that good stuff, but I'm in Wisconsin visiting my family. When I drive back out to Mass, I'll probably have more time to actually update. I'm just really busy getting everything together and hanging out with my friends as much as possible.

So, you may wonder why I'm writing this. Well, it's simple. I'm sure most of you saw a story/profile claiming to be a superstar's girlfriend. First of all, if you bought it, don't. But, unlike that pathetic person, I am not going to claim that this story is real. This story is simply for the lulz. And it's going to focus on the POSITIVE side of being a ring rat, if there even is one. Just think about it. Again, this is simply satire. Flame me if you must, but this is supposed to be a joke. It's also going to be in an actual story format. So, if you can't take a joke, or if you are one of those gullible people who felt sorry for someone who was lying, I suggest you just stop right now. ONTO THE STORY!

How to be a Ring Rat
Chapter 1: Go to as many shows as possible and dress like a whore

"I don't want to go," Sarah whined, swinging her right leg into the passenger's side of Nicole's car, closing the door once she was already in. "I don't like wrestling."

"I don't like wrestling either," Nicole explained, putting the keys into the ignition and turning the engine over. "But I like hot guys."

"I feel like a tramp," Sarah sighed, trying to tug down her short denim skirt that Nicole had insisted she wear. Nicole also paired her with a low cut blouse and black pumps. Her blonde hair was teased and her brown eyes were hidden behind tons of dark makeup. Sarah thought she looked trashy, but Nicole insisted that she looked perfect for an event like this.

"You don't have to feel like a tramp. You don't have to do anything, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to. Look, my dad got us ringside seats for this Supershow for free from his baller job. After that, we're going to use his VIP status and name drop him at the door to the hotel where these guys are staying at since we're not 21 yet and can't get into the bar. You don't have to come with me, but just remember, I'm driving. If you want to pussy out and bail on me, go right ahead, but you're going to have to find your own ride home," Nicole ranted.

Sarah quietly groaned to herself and she looked Nicole over. Nicole's dark hair was tied up into a messy updo. She was wearing skin tight jeans and an even tighter tank top. Her blue eyes were masked by just as much dark makeup as Sarah. Sarah thought Nicole could pull the look off, unlike herself.

Nicole flashed her parking pass to the security guard in the preferred parking lot, which was connected to the venue. He allowed the girls in, and they parked in the third row.

"Nic, this place is empty. Why are we here so early?" Sarah wondered out loud.

"We're going to watch warm-ups," Nicole grinned. "Daddy hooked me up with access."

Sarah followed Nicole to the venue and let the brunette do all the talking. Nicole kept talking about her father and everyone let her go wherever she wanted.

"Nicole? Is that you?" a deep voice behind the girls asked.

The two girls turned around and their eyes met a tall, tattooed man in his early thirties at the oldest.

"Randy! I haven't seen you in forever!" Nicole screeched, running as fast as she could in her stiletto heels and jumping into the man's arms.

"I know. We haven't been to this area for a while. Vince doesn't like to tape here because it doesn't sell, so that's why we're just doing a Supershow. You coming out tonight?" Randy asked.

"You know it. Already got the go ahead from Daddy," Nicole smiled.

"Excellent," Randy said with a wink. "Oh, and you've brought a friend? Who is this lovely young lady?" Randy took Sarah's hand in his and bent down to place a light kiss on the back of her hand.

Sarah felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "I'm Sarah," she giggled. However, she quickly regained her composure when she could practically feel Nicole's eyes burning holes in her back.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sarah. Actually, the pleasure just might all be yours." Randy gently dropped Sarah's hand and said, "I trust I'll see you two later. I've got to go warm up."

Sarah was frozen as Randy walked away.

"You okay?" Nicole asked, roughly shaking Sarah's shoulder.

"Uh-huh," Sarah nodded.

"Really? Because if you can't handle that, you are not going to be able to handle the rest of the night."