Shirt

A.N. I had resurrected some of my LPs (those flat round things 12 inches in diameter and made of vinyl that rotate at 33 and one third RPM) from the layers of dust in the attic the other day and found myself listening to The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band reminiscing about my university days (or was it daze) when this piece of HP whimsy came to me. It's based on the intro to 'Shirt' from the 'Tadpoles' album.

Disclaimer: Harry belongs to Jakey.


Intro:

We are now going over to Olympia for The Shirt Event.

I'll repeat that. The Shirt Event.

I'll repeat that. The Shirt Event.

I'll repeat that. The Shirt Event. © The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band


"Harry!" screamed Hermione "You can't possibly wear that."

"I've tried to tell him love" interjected Ron "but he just doesn't seem to get it".

"But it's my best dress shirt" said Harry.

"And it looks like a dish-cloth" replied Hermione.

"But I've only worn it twice" mumbled Harry.

"Two times too many" growled Hermione.

"I told you Harry. If you want to get married and survive the wrath of Hermione, let alone that of my sister, you need to go shopping" said Ron.

"Harry. I'll tell you this only once" said Hermione. "In two days you are getting married to Ginny. If you want to remain 'The Chosen One' or 'The Boy Who Lived' and not become 'The Castrated One' or 'The Boy Who Had His Bollocks Chopped Off By His Prospective Bride' then you will go shopping for a new dress suit and a good dress shirt and you are going shopping with me NOW."

"Yes dear" croaked a subdued Harry as his girl best friend grabbed his arm and apparated him to Diagon Alley.


Harry stood tugging at the collar of his brand new brilliant white silk dress shirt as he tried to loosen the emerald green cravat around his neck. His Best Man, best friend and brother of the bride, Ron Weasley, stood at his side and tapped his elbow.

"Calm down Harry. Everything's all right."

"You sure Ron?" said Harry.

"Yes".

"You've got the rings?"

"Yes".

"Is my suit OK?"

"Yes".

"The shirt?"

"Yes".

"You sure she's coming?"

"Yes Harry. For Merlin's sake calm down. She'll be here any minute".


Hermione Granger glanced round the doorway of the little chapel in Godrick's Hollow to see her best friend, Harry Potter standing at the end of the aisle beside her fiancé. Harry appeared as nervous as a Rangers fan in the Jungle at an Old Firm game (*) whereas Ron looked unusually relaxed.

A whisper came from behind her

"Hermione. Is Harry there?" asked Ginny.

"Yes".

"Does he look OK?"

"Yes".

"Is my veil straight?"

"Yes."

"Is my dress OK?"

"Yes. It's beautiful"

"Auntie Muriel's tiara?"

"Yes".

"My bouquet?"

"Yes. Just relax Ginny. Everything's fine. Your beautiful and your handsome groom is waiting for you."

Hermione caught the eye of the organist who discretely nodded and placed his hands above the keys.

The opening bars of the Wedding March sounded as Arthur Weasley took his daughter Ginny's arm and led her down the aisle to her future husband followed by her Maid of Honour, Hermione.

When the reached the end of the aisle, Arthur placed his daughters hands into those of his son-in-law to be. "Take care of her son" he said, as Harry mutely nodded an affirmative.

Arthur then went to stand beside his wife, Molly, while Hermione took position to Ginny's left and Ron stood to Harry's right. The vicar stood in front and raised his voice.

"Dearly beloved. We gather here today to witness the joining of Harry and Ginny in holy matrimony..."


Her brown eyes were lost in the depths of his emerald gaze as she whispered "I do" to the vicar's final question.

They barely heard his final words "I now pronounce you husband and wife" as Harry leant in to kiss his new bride.

After what could have been a moment or an infinity of summer afternoons they separated and turned to see all their friends and family smiling at them from the pews. Ginny discretely pulled Harry's head down and, whispered in his ear. "By the way I really do like that shirt."


A.N. (*) The Old Firm is the collective term for Celtic and Rangers, the two largest football (Soccer) clubs in Glasgow (Scotland). The Jungle is that area of Celtic's stadium which, traditionally, the home fans occupied.

Just a bit of fluff that came to me and I had to write. I'll get back to HP & the Great Manipulator shortly.