Changes

Olivia sat in her lounge room for the first time in what seemed eternity. For the first time in over 4 days she had made it home other than to just grab a few hours sleep and a change of clothes. It had to be the first time in over a month that she had made it home when finishing her shift at her specified end time of 1700. The others had decided to go for a drink at O'Malley's, but Olivia had had too much on her mind for the last couple of weeks. Babs Duffy to be exact, or rather her comment.

Babs had been positive that she was gay, Olivia had denied the claim, long and loud to anyone who would listen. She suddenly thought that saying about protesting too much applied to her. It hadn't helped that when she had asked Elliot's and Alex's opinions they had shied away from direct answers. Alex herself was a bit mystified with Bab's coming onto her, so was everybody else, Cabot screamed 'straight'.

Olivia had no idea what to do. When she sat down and thought about it she had to admit it had been a long time since she had been attracted to a man. Oh she had been with a few but she admitted ruefully that that had been more of a need to scratch an itch than any real attraction to anyone. When she had tried to force a relationship recently things had gone south quick. That didn't mean she was attracted to women though, did it? I mean sure Alex was HOT, but anyone can appreciate beauty with that hair and those eyes and the glasses and ... Ooooookay. Then there was Casey, when she had toned down the hair and the mismatch clothes she had been appealing and her body was toned from the sports and ...Whoa. Olivia bolted upright, these were her friends she was thinking about she..

Oh thank God saved by the bell, or the ringing phone as it would be on this occasion. It wasn't Elliott thank God, as she had set a personal ringtone for him, guaranteed to wake her up from the deepest sleep. She loved the man, he was her partner and the brother of her heart but she wanted one night to herself.

"Hello?"

"Hey Yankee" drawled the smoky voice of pure Southern Texan. Abbie Carmichael.

"Hey Tex" Olivia smiled "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Aw common now Benson, can't a girl ring an old friend" Carmichael was many things but a liar was not one of them and Olivia picked up an undertone. She relaxed back onto her couch and sighed

"Spit it out"

"I've been talking to Alex" Abbie admitted and Olivia groaned closing her eyes predicting what was coming "She says you're going through a bit of an identity crisis"

"I'm fine"

"Uhuh, try again and remember who you are speaking to" Well hell that was a low blow. She had been the one Abbie had come to when she had been going through her own identity crisis and tossing up whether to stay in New York and climb the corporate ladder here or follow her heart and her female lover to Washington. Abbie was currently making a long distance call thanks to Olivia.

"Alright, alright tell me what you know?" she sighed and listened as Abbie informed her on what she had been told by Alex. Olivia filled in a few blanks while Abbie listened patiently until a silence hung between them.

"Do you need me to take a few days and come up there?"

"Thanks Ab's but I will be fine, you'll probably get here and we'll be snowed under with a huge case and we won't be able to spend time" Olivia admitted

"Yeah but I could catch up with Alex"

"She's our ADA. If we're busy then she is too"

"Oh, well I'm here if you need and I er...oh...um" Olivia heard her groan and wondered what was going on until she heard another female voice. Oh

"Abbie something tells me you are about to become otherwise occupied"

"Ugh" came the strangled reply and Olivia had to grin

"Just say hypothetically, someone wanted to go check out their sexuality somewhere safe, where she wouldn't be attacked by lesbians on Viagra, where should she go?" she asked then waited, trepidation setting in as the silence grew. When she could handle it no more and was going to tell Abbie to forget it she spoke

"Jaydeez"

"Jd's. As in the bar and grill?' Olivia was confused

"No Jaydeez. J A Y D E E Z. Women's only bar and club over on 52nd. It's not a meat market"

"A meat market? Oh Ok" she heard another groan and grinned "Talk to you later Tex, and thanks"

"Bye Yankee" and the phone disconnected but not before Olivia was privy to a few more things she would rather not hear.

Olivia checked what she was wearing for the hundredth time since she left the apartment. She had procrastinated for hours swinging between going and staying, in the end she had called herself a coward and dressed in skinny hipster jeans, healed black boots, large belt, tight black t-shirt and her brown leather jacket. She looked in the mirror as she had run some gel through her hair and admitted to herself that for 42 she was pretty darn hot.

She looked back up at the establishment she was standing in front of. It was unobtrusive, non descript old warehouse style building, 3 stories. It blended in nicely with the other buildings surrounding it, other pubs and some cafes, eateries and shop fronts. A small blue sign above the door proclaimed JAYDEEZ in rainbow writing and an even smaller one under that claimed Women only.

It was only 2100hrs, late for someone who hadn't slept in 30hrs but early for the usual nightlife. She figured she could get in early, scope things out, see how the action went in the bar as to whether she adjourned upstairs to the nightclub.

Taking a deep breath she opened the door and entered. She was instantly greeted by a dark foyer and a hulking shape in the form of a butch female bouncer. The bouncer gave her a once over, grinned and nodded her through the thick curtain into an open room. The lighting was low, the décor in sleek blacks and reds. There were booth seats and table and chairs to her left, a dance floor and stage to her right. ¾ of the back wall was taken up by a bar. The place was popular and already 2/3 full. A band was setting up on the stage, a DJ played, people filled the dance floor and most of the tables were taken.

It was the cop in her that had her scoping out the different exits, casting her eye over the clientele before looking at the half dozen barmaids behind the counter. They all wore a simple uniform of blue jeans and black shirt, a logo on the left shoulder. Probably Jaydeez.

Feeling a bit more confidant as no one had stopped and pointed wondering what someone her age was doing there she spied a stool at the far end of the bar and zeroed in on it. She didn't know whether it was a look on her face or whether she just appeared confidant but the women parted as she passed and she made it to the stool without incident and climbed on. Leaning her arms on the polished Jarrah wood she looked down the bar, taking in the patrons first and dismissing them with a quick glance before turning to try and capture a barmaids attention.

As she cast her gaze about they passed by, then moved back to lock on a pair of sparkling green eyes full of merriment and she felt her stomach lurch up to the vicinity of her mouth. OMG. The eyes, cat eyes, belonged to a beautiful woman who couldn't possibly be gay. A couple of inches taller than her own 5'8", lean and toned, fair skin but not totally alabaster like Alex or Casey. She had long caramel coloured hair with lighter highlights. The woman had luscious pouty lips that were stretched wide in a welcoming smile that showed perfect white teeth.

"Hey, what can I get you?" she asked in a rich voice that made Angelina Jolie's and Megan Fox's voices squeaky. That gorgeous smile got wider and a head cocked to the side in inquisition. Olivia realised she was staring and rapidly blinked.

"Er C..c..Corona" she stammered then sighed. Real smooth, can't even talk to a barmaid. A gorgeous, siren barmaid she had to admit.

"Lime?" the siren asked and Olivia wrinkled her nose in distaste before she could prevent it then smiled in relief when the woman laughed and turned to do as she requested. Olivia's eyes honed in on her backside, her eyes bugging when the siren bent to retrieve her beer. Oh boy. She blushed when the barmaid suddenly turned and she raised her eyes to realise she had been caught staring. Busted. The woman only grinned and moved forward to offer the beer after popping the lid.

Olivia hastily paid for the beer and waited as the woman returned with her change and placed it in front of her. She tried to stifle her disappointment knowing she would have to go off and serve someone else but to her surprise the woman stayed.

"First time in here?"

You could say that, Olivia thought, first time anywhere, but stated "How do you know?"

"Oh I would have definitely remembered you" the woman said with a wink that had a blush spreading up Olivia's cheeks again. Damn. "I'm Jay"

"Olivia" Olivia offered her hand and Jay accepted it. Olivia expected some bolt of lightning when their skin touched and was somewhat relieved and disappointed when her hand slid across a slightly callused one. Jay's skin was slightly calloused like hers, soft and cool from dealing drinks. There was no zap but she had to admit as the contact prolonged her fingers started to tingle.

"Hey Boss" another barmaid came up "Sorry I'm late, thanks for covering for me"

Olivia watched as Jay pulled away slowly and started to converse with the other barmaid. As she did a realisation started to set in that the woman in front of her was young, a lot younger. Without the distraction of those green eyes her brain started to function. Oh My God what had she been doing?

She needed to get out of here and away from Jay. She quickly looked around and saw a vacated booth right at the back. Trying to act casual but also hurrying like the hounds of hell were after her she retreated to the safety of the booth and slid in, squishing herself tight against the wall and hopefully out of anyone's sight. Especially a particular someone. She was half way through her beer and thinking she had succeeded when she became aware of a presence beside her. From her bodies reaction she didn't have to look up to see who it was before Jay slid into the seat opposite her.

"Trying to hide?" Jay asked with an amused smile. Olivia opened her mouth to offer a reply and let out a squeak instead. She closed her mouth and looked away instead, as long as she didn't look into those green eyes she would be fine. She couldn't help herself though and risked a look up into a now serious face.

"Do you want to be alone?" Jay asked next and for the life of her Olivia couldn't reply. What the hell was wrong with her? She was a cop, trained to talk in all kinds of situations and she couldn't even say one intelligible word to this woman. "I see" Jay nodded "Sorry to bother you, I obviously got the wrong message" and started to slide out of the booth.

Everything in Olivia protested at that moment and before jay made it to the end of the seat Olivia grabbed her arm and whispered shakily "Stay please – I...stay"

"Ok" Jay breathed out and took a good look at the woman in front of her. Dark hair, brown eyes, tanned skin. Despite recent events Jay knew she was a confidant woman, had seen her purposeful stride when she entered. She'd seen several heads turn and stare in awe and without conscious decision she had moved to serve the woman and then stay to talk. In doing so she had let every patron in the bar know one thing. Mine. No one else would approach Olivia now, not while in one of her establishments. She was a little surprised at herself, she hadn't publically claimed anyone in a long time. As she continued to stare at the woman she realised her first estimate at Olivia's age was slightly off. She had her pegged as mid thirties but would now have to revise that to late thirties, maybe 10 years older than her own 28, nearly 29 years.

She felt Olivia pull her hand away and decided to let her, this time. She was skittish as a new born foal and she didn't want to scare her off. So instead she turned to look at the bar and caught Julies attention. She pointed at Olivia's half drunk beer then held up 2 fingers requesting two more. Julie nodded and she turned back to Olivia who was staring at her again. Damn but that woman was good for her ego.

"Ok Olivia how about we start again, this time without the retreat" she smiled and watched as Olivia blushed. She loved that blush, something told her it wasn't a common occurrence.

"Hello Olivia, my name is Jay Carlington"

"Olivia Benson" Olivier replied

"So Olivia tell me about yourself"

"What do you want to know?" Olivia shrugged not used to being so open and friendly to strangers. Usually upon hearing about herself and the job people ran a mile.

"Wow answering a question with a question. You wouldn't happen to be a lawyer would you?" Jay laughed and Olivia couldn't help but smirk. Julie arrived with their drinks and Jay thanked her before they departed.

"Do I look like a lawyer?" Olivia asked and received a shake of Jay's head in reply "I do know several lawyers though, good ones and not so good that I go toe to toe with on a daily basis"

"Ah a cop then, somehow I don't have you pegged as a criminal" Jay's eyes twinkled and Olivia inclined her head in agreement. "So do you have a uniform?"

"Yeah for awards ceremonies and such. I'm a detective so I wear plain clothes" Olivia admitted finding it easy to talk, which was surprising as she wasn't usually so open.

"Oh. Homicide?"

"SVU" Olivia admitted and upon getting a blank look sighed and informed "Sex crimes. Rape, murder and child abuse"

"Wow" Jay searched for something to say that didn't sound clichéd "That must take up a lot of time in a city like this. I can tell that you care, for the victims I'm glad" Olivia blinked in surprise at the unusual reaction she received from Jay. Most people either quickly moved on or asked if she was crazy dealing with that. "How long have you been a detective?"

"13 long years" Olivia had to smile, she was getting used to her reaction to Jay now. She was so open and friendly that Olivia felt it was easier to ignore the attraction. Just because she was at a gay bar didn't mean she had to pick up. There were such things as friends.

"Wow and how long have you been with SVU?"

"11 years" Olivia stated watching for any reaction and merely got a raising of the eyebrows

"Wow, you are dedicated, I admire that" Jay watched as Olivia's face clouded over and guessed that there was more than just pure dedication behind her motivation. "Ok so tell me about some of the people you work with"

"Oh" Jay watched as Olivia's face became slightly animated "Well I have to start with Elliott Stabler, he's my partner and family. Good man, married to Kathy, 5 kids –"

"5 kids, my God" Jay's eyes bugged

"Catholic" Olivia smirked and Jay smiled and encouraged her to continue "Ok. Our Captain is Donald Cragen, there are two other detectives John Munch who we call Munch and Odafin Tutuola who we call Fin"

"I don't blame you" Jay laughed "I take it you are all close"

"Yeah we're family. We're nicely rounded out by our ADA Alex Cabot"

Jay nearly choked on her beer and her eyes went wide in disbelief.

"Alex Cabot, back from the dead Cabot, one of the Manhattan Cabot's?" Jay was in awe and whistled

"You know her?" Olivia frowned and Jay shrugged

"Her family knows mine. Our mothers belonged to the same charities before Alex's mum passed. Growing up mum always pushed me to be more like Alex, have political inspirations like Alex. If I wasn't such a nice person I would hate Alex on principal" she chuckled "Of course Alex went and got herself 'killed'" she used her fingers to make inverted brackets "I was in college at the time and told mum thanks but no thanks I'll stick to being myself as I wanted to live a long life" she sighed and shook her head "We argued a bit so I threw out the gay card, told her I wasn't interested in Law, Business and Economics were fine"

"Oh" Olivia was trying to get past the fact this woman was in college 7 years ago. My God how old was she?

"Thank God for open minded grandma's who came through for me. I got disowned when I refused to admit I was simply curious and not gay. Nan gave me a loan and I went into business"

"Business?"

Wow she was a bit slow on the uptake for a cop, Jay had to grin and tapped the logo on her shirt and Olivia's eyes widened as she suddenly remembered the other waitress calling her boss. Oh God Jay owned this establishment

"You own this bar?" Olivia gulped

"Yep" Jay beamed and took a gulp of her beer, Olivia took a long guzzle too "Actually I own the building along with a few other bar and grills" she hinted and waited to see if the Detective could work her magic

"JD's Bar and Grill, you own those?"

"6 at my last count yep" and watched Olivia's jaw drop

"This building?"

"Yeah, Bar this floor, nightclub on the second my own space on the 3rd"

"You live on the top floor?" Olivia gaped "All of it?"

"I like my space" Jay shrugged and seeing it was having an adverse reaction stated "Is it honestly that big of a problem, or is it just hard to believe? I'm rich Olivia, not Cabot rich but rich anyway. The depression hit me hard in the pocket book but I own the majority of what I've got and I have worked hard to do it. Does that bother you?"

"I know I wasn't implying you hadn't, and no it doesn't. I know enough rich people and I work hard too" Olivia looked contrite and dared to reach out and touch Jays hand "I think I am actually still in shock of you admitting that you were in college 7 years ago. It kind of hit me how young you are"

"I'm 28, well 29 in a couple of months."

"Oh my God a baby" Olivia felt old suddenly and took another swig of her beer

"Oh come on, you can't be a day over 36" Jay took a couple of years off her estimation just in case

"I'm 42" Olivia stated and watched Jay's jaw drop in shock. Yeah she figured that was the reaction she would get.

"No" Jay let her gaze roam over the beautiful woman in front of her, no way she was 42, not that 42 was old mind you, 40 was supposed to be the new 30's.

"Yep, every single year"

"So that makes you a '68 baby" Jay whistled and Olivia mock glared. "Oh no I love the 60's it's my favourite era. God I was born in the time of bad clothes and big hair. Only thing decent about the 80's was the music" Jay grumbled "My baby photos are atrocious"

Olivia couldn't help it she laughed, this woman had her smiling and laughing more than she had done this year, when she wasn't in awe of her beauty or dumbfounded by her age.

"So you own a bit of prime real estate, nice. You have done well for yourself"

"As have you." Jay stares at her long and hard, long enough that Olivia started to feel her stomach knot "You are incredibly beautiful you know, you must have some seriously good genes" she complimented and watched as Olivia's face darkened. Ok, that was a sore subject, for now.

Jay decided to steer the topic of conversation away from the personal for a while to get things back on a lighter mood. So she played 20 questions from favourite foods to drinks, movies, TV, music, colour, clothes, and hairdresser. Anything she could think of.

Surprisingly they both loved a good grill and Chinese, beer was the drink of choice. Where she liked juices Olivia did water or sports drinks. They both liked action movies, maybe a bit of comedy. Olivia didn't watch TV too often but liked dramas and had an eclectic taste in music from Nina Simone to Metallica. Jay didn't care as long as it wasn't Opera, Jazz or classical. Olivia stated she liked green while staring into her eyes, Jay flirted right back saying she had a thing for brown whether it be caramel or chocolate. She grinned when Olivia flushed and guzzled the last of her beer. Jay got the ever vigilant Julie's attention for more drinks just as the band started up and talking across the table became impossible. With a grin Jay moved from her seat and slid in close to Olivia. Mindful of the sudden tension radiating from the brunette she left a few inches between them and continued to talk over the music. They were half way through their 4th beer when Jay noticed Olivia tapping her leg in time with the music. She grinned and sliding out from the booth took the older woman's hand and tugged. She ignored Olivia's half hearted protests and pulled hard forcing her to slide out and follow her onto the crowded dance floor. She led Olivia into the middle so they were surrounded by gyrating bodies and letting her hand go lost herself to the beat of the music. She kept her eyes trained on Olivia's though and offered up an encouraging smile until she saw the woman give in and start to move. She was a natural and Jay had to bite down hard to prevent a moan as desire invaded her body. God this woman was gorgeous, age be damned if she could get this woman in her life she would fight tooth and nail to keep her there.

Olivia should have felt silly, self conscious even, dancing like there was no tomorrow. She couldn't have done this with the guys, definitely not with Alex or Casey. Abbie maybe but she thought Miranda may have something to say about that. She didn't feel any of those things, instead she felt invigorated, liberated, like she was living another life, in a dream world. She wanted it to go on forever. One song turned into another and another still. They danced the whole set, just her and Jay, surrounded by other women, but in her world it was just two. When the band took a break they went to the bar where Jay left her at the corner to go help the others, placing a bottle of water in front of her to stay hydrated. Olivia spent the time watching Jay like a hawk, smiling at her when Jay shot looks in her direction. Olivia was certain Jay was making sure she hadn't run off. She had no interest in going anywhere. She liked Jay and while she was determined that any type of relationship was off the cards she did hope that friendship was a go. One because she still wasn't sure a relationship with a woman was the way to go and if she was one with a woman 14 years younger was definitely out of the question. She really needed someone her own age or closer, someone who wanted to settle down and maybe have kids. Guy or girl she wasn't choosey.

When the band started up again they found themselves back on the dance floor. Olivia let herself get totally lost in the music again, closing her eyes to take in the whole experience. Her eyes shot open in surprise as long strong arms wrapped around her from behind, only to find Jay was no longer in front of her. One quick glance down at the hands attached to the arms, recognition of a ring on jay's right hand and her libido skyrocketed. She forgot all about protesting as Jay pulled her tighter against her front as they started to sway together. Olivia fought back a groan, her left hand going to cover Jay's on her stomach, her right hand curling back and up to cup the back of Jay's head as Jay pressed their faces together. Many a song went by as Olivia desperately tried to think with her head and not any other part of her body. It certainly didn't help when Jay spun her in her arms so they were chest to chest, breast to breast and hip to hip. Jay pushed a thigh between hers with determination and Olivia felt like a rag doll as electricity raced through her body. Oh God. This was heaven and hell all rolled into one as they practically made love on the dance floor. They had to stop real soon, her desire was becoming much too evident to herself. Jay, being an experienced lesbian that she was, was sure to catch on. She waited until the end of the song before pulling back, breaking Jays hold. She stared into Jay's stormy green eyes and declared she needed a drink.

She quickly made her way to the bar and got the attention of the barmaid that had served her before and mouthed 'water' just as she felt a presence beside her and knew it was Jay. The barmaid delivered two bottles of water which Jay scooped up in one hand before taking Olivia's hand in her spare and dragging her towards a door at the back of the building marked 'Private'. Olivia put the brakes on the second they were through the door.

"Wait. Stop" and much to her surprise and pleasure Jay did. Olivia was at a loss for words so while she was trying to get the jumble of feelings under control she snagged one of the water bottles and guzzled. She took her time to take in her surroundings and realised they were in a stairwell that led up to what looked like private entrances to the second and third floors. There was a second door on the other side which she presumed led to outside.

Finally she took a deep breath and said to Jay "What do you want from me?" She watched as Jay cocked her head and studied her hard, her eyes never left her face though and Olivia was getting a little uneasy.

"How about we start with the truth" Jay's eyes narrowed as if things were falling into place. "Have you ever dated a woman?" she asked bluntly and Olivia hesitated for a second before shaking her head. Jay hissed out her breath and turned her back on her. Olivia felt like scum at the moment and startled when Jay turned back on her angrily "So what was that tonight? I didn't imagine your attraction to me did I?" when Olivia hesitated to answer Jay took a step forward "Answer the damn question detective"

"Please Jay don't be mad at me, I'm so confused at the moment" Olivia begged

"You're confused" Jay laughed dryly

"Lets go sit back in the booth and I'll explain everything I promise" she paused when Jay shook her head and disappointment slammed into her chest. She was such an idiot, she blinked as she felt tears close to the surface. "Oh Ok I'll just go then"

"Olivia Benson you're an idiot" Jay sighed seeing the detective was upset. "Come upstairs with me where we don't have to yell over the music and I can listen to you uninterrupted. I want the whole story of how you came to be in my bar tonight"

"Ok" Olivia nodded, that sounded fair and she followed Jay up the two flights of stairs, trying hard to keep her eyes off of the delectable backside in front of her. Jay finally let her into her apartment and they walked straight into an open living area with a lounge off to her left, kitchen in the middle and dining to the right. A door led to a corridor which she presumed led to the rest of the apartment. The apartment was done in a classical country style, with large bits of wooden furniture that looked comfortable. The lounge had a giant screen Plasma TV with state of the art surround sound. The kitchen was polished wood and stainless steel with pots hanging over a bench area with stools matching the dining setting. The walls weren't covered in expensive art but pictures of scenery. She liked it.

Jay led her over to a large 3 seater lounge, with large thick comfortable cushions. This was one lounge she could crash on with delight. Her gaze was drawn to the large screen TV again as she sat at one end and Jay the other

"What?" Jay asked noticing her interest

"Nothing much really except that the guys would love to watch the football and or the World Series on that. I'd be a legend at the station if I could bring them around here just once" she offered up a smile and was glad when Jay returned it.

"I'm sure that can be arranged" Jay told her and Olivia started to relax, maybe she hadn't damaged a chance at friendship

"Ok, that's good, I was worried there that my omissions had put a premature end to our friendship" she admitted and Jay shook her head

"Olivia, friendship was always on the cards, sure I'm a bit disappointed that you lied by omission but I like you too much to not be friends" she informed and the Detective sighed relieved. Jay was right, she had lied and she was glad now that they had gotten past that "I guess it depends on what you tell me now if we can be anything more"

"More?" Olivia squeaked her eyes bugging

"Olivia it doesn't take a detective to know that you were turned on on the dance floor. If you had been even slightly more experienced we wouldn't be up here having a conversation" she grinned as the detective went red again, god she loved doing that. The woman was gorgeous "The fact that I am contemplating that after 3 years celibate is a very big thing" she informed and had the detective regarding her curiously. She shook her head "You first detective"

Olivia sighed and wondered where to start "I've never really done well in relationships, there's a lot of resentment when the job comes first. They don't understand that offenders don't offend 9-5 Monday to Friday, they get frustrated when I have to cancel 4 out of 5 dates. I don't even keep pets or plants" Olivia sighed and looked down at her bottle of water "Tonight is the first night I have had free in over a week. I haven't slept in" she looked at her watch "36 hours and I still feel fresh because sometimes I can go 70" she shrugged

"Oh my God you must be a walking Zombie on those days. I don't understand how you are allowed to do that, surely fatigue sets in? Wouldn't you be able to think and act quicker if you weren't tired?"

Olivia blinked stunned "I er, most of the others do go home, I have a hard time sleeping until someone is caught, I kind of promise the Captain I'll go home then stay looking over evidence' she admitted sheepishly

"Olivia that is not healthy" Jay sighed and held up a hand when Olivia went to protest "I gathered by your reaction a couple of times tonight that there is something behind your driving insistence to work long hours, I don't want to know or need to know, not yet but one day I hope you trust me enough to tell me" Olivia could only stare at Jay in awe. She had to be dreaming, no one was this wonderful and understanding "Look I won't grizzle or complain if you break any dates in the future as long as you let me know in advance. I won't care if you put in long hours as long as you let me know you are Ok and let me look after you when I can"

"Look after me how?"

"Well if you are still working and haven't eaten you'll give me a call and I'll organise a feed for you"

"From your restaurants?' Olivia's mouth watered at the thought "Hell woman expect nightly calls"

"Whatever you need Detective. I want you in good health so I can look after you when you aren't working too. Have I told you about my hot tub?" she chuckled when Olivia gulped and decided to get her talking again "Please continue with your story"

Olivia sighed "Well as I said, dating was a challenge and I guess the years just went by, I sort out company when I had an... itch I guess but they were few and far between and not very satisfying. The men were also put out when I refused further dates. They thought they could tame me I guess"

"Idiots" jay mumbled and Olivia had to smile, she already knew her well

"well anyway, about a month ago I met a woman on a case called Babs Duffy" Olivia said and when Jay looked at her sceptically she crossed her heart "I swear it's her name and I could blame her for my current self discovery I guess" Olivia shrugged "She made a pass at me and when I rebuffed her she called my sexuality into question. Some of the things she said hit home I guess and when I asked my work colleagues what they thought they wouldn't give me a straight answer." She shrugged and looked down at her water bottle again "I called up an old friend and asked her where I could go to scope things out and do a bit of soul searching and she suggested here" she looked up earnestly at Jay "I swear I had nothing more in mind than sitting in a corner, having a drink and just watching. Seeing you was like being hit with a sledge hammer"

"Is that good or bad?" Jay grimaced "Who am I kidding it certainly sounds bad"

"No, just unexpected" Olivia sighed "I really hate labels and the idea of labelling myself gay just sits wrong"

"I'm not asking you to label yourself" Jay reached out a hand and placed it on Olivia's knee "I just want you to be Olivia Benson and I will be Jay Carlington and we'll be friends"

"Friends?"

"Yeah for now" Jay looked away "I'm going to be honest with you too Olivia, I like you, a lot. You're the first woman I have looked at in 3 years and I need us to both be sure before we start anything more. I don't do curiosity or one night stands, I do long term relationships, serious long term" she got up and moved over to a picture sitting on the DVD stand and Olivia watched her carefully as she returned and sat more in the middle this time while handing her the photo. Olivia had to hide her shock as she found herself looking at a much younger Jay and another woman, both in white dresses and proudly holding up their left hands to show off their rings. She looked at Jay in question "Her name was Deidre, we called her Dee. She was the other half of Jaydeez. We met in High School, got married at 23 and two years later she was killed along with the baby she was carrying by a drunk driver" Olivia stared at her in shock. Oh wow. She noticed the silent tears spilling over and without thinking pulled Jay into her arms, offering her silent comfort

"I'm sorry" she whispered as jay snuggled in closer. Jay felt safe in Olivia's arms, she was strong and compassionate at the same time. Jay bet that victims just opened up to her.

"It was a while ago but it is still hard. I've grieved and healed and need to move on. I just haven't found anyone to move on with" Olivia looked down as Jay looked up "I guess time will tell" Jay offered up a crooked little smile then placed her head back on Olivia's shoulder. They sat there for long minutes until Olivia's stomach rumbled and she apologised.

"When did you last eat Detective?" Jay asked and when Olivia shrugged jay sighed and pulled away to check her fridge for ingredients for a meal.

By Monday night at 2000hrs Saturday night and Sunday were like a dream to Olivia as the team found themselves buried in another case. A 14yo girl brutally raped and murdered and they had no suspects. She had last been seen leaving a Public Library and turned up in an alley behind a dumpster. Olivia sighed as she let her mind wander to Saturday night. Jay had cooked her a wonderful pasta for a late dinner which they had shared over a beer as they watched a delayed telecast of a NY Yankees game. The last thing she remembered was an ad for a cookie or something and the next thing she knew she was being woken by the smell of coffee and a smiling Jay was placing a coffee and a freshly cooked bagel on the coffee table beside the very comfy couch she was sleeping on.

Jay had waved away her apologies and told her she obviously needed the sleep. She had nearly spit out her coffee in surprise when she saw it was 1000hrs. She had eaten brunch with Jay then stated she needed to go home and get out of her hair. Jay nixed that too. She had ridden home on the back of Jay's bike instead, a Kawasaki 750 ninja in black and green. She had loved it. Jay had waited on her couch until she had showered and changed and they had spent the afternoon riding around on the bike and acting tourists at some of the hotspots. Jay had been funny and charming and Olivia had learned that she had an estate in the suburbs which she had inherited from her Grandmother and used infrequently and a cabin on the lakes up North, not far from the Cabot's but nowhere near as grand, you could justify calling hers a cabin. Besides the bike she had a Jeep and a large SUV. Oh and a 2 x ATV's, 2 x jet skis, ski boat and 2 x snow mobiles up at the cabin. Wow, she wanted to visit that cabin. Jay had laughed and told her that entailed taking time off work, Olivia told her it would be worth it.

They had tea at an Italian restaurant that Olivia loved and Jay decided to try before going back to Olivia's. Olivia had invited Jay up but she declined citing paperwork. They had swapped cell numbers and Jay promised to call later in the week before she departed with a wave. Olivia had gone upstairs and decided to get an early night. It turned out to be a wise decision when she received the phone call at 0400 from Elliot this morning.

It had been a frustrating case, no witnesses, no leads, and no fluids on the body. In fact they were struggling to find any forensic evidence at all. Even fingernail scrapings had turned up clean. She had text Jay just needing a friendly voice at 1800hrs. Don was frustrated, Alex was riding them, Elliot was moody, Munch was in a philosophical mood and Fin was encouraging him. Olivia just wanted to be curled up on jays couch watching sport, drinking beer and cuddling. She sighed, wasn't that a kick in the pants and way too fast.

She heard the click of heels and groaned when she realised Alex was coming back to the squad room to ride their asses again. She really didn't need this as the blonde swept into the room.

"Anything new"

"No" Elliot growled "No more than last time you asked"

"I was just asking detective" Alex snapped back and came to lean against her desk. Olivia groaned, a headache coming on and getting ready to referee when another voice cut in

"Um Hello?" her head shot up to see a young male holding a large basket in one hand and a cooler in another "I have a delivery for Detective Benson and her colleagues" he said and Olivia stood quickly, not expecting anything

"That's me"

"Oh" he hurried forward and placed the items on the desk next to a startled Alex. Olivia was hit with tantalising smells the same time as Alex's stomach growled and she flushed. The young male started to unpack containers of food onto the table. They had fresh bread, assorted meats, vegies, garlic bread and wedges from the basket and Salads, cold drinks, deserts and picnic plates and cutlery from the cooler. "Oh um Miss Benson the boss gave me this for you" he dove into his pants pocket and pulled out a slightly battered envelope.

"Hmmm" Olivia took the envelope "Tell your boss thanks" she gave him a smile. He blinked and blushed before hastily gathering up the items and hurrying out.

Olivia chuckled and opened the envelope, pulling out the card inside.

I told you I would look after you, enjoy. Don't work past 30 hours and call me to let me know you're safe

Jay ;p

Olivia chuckled and slipped the card back into the envelope before placing it in her desk drawer. Munch came back with the captain and they all looked at the feast.

"Is that from Jd's grill?" the captain asked and Olivia nodded.

"Dig in all" she told them and looked at Elliot who was looking at her curiously

"Are you keeping secrets from us? Who do you know that would send all that from JD's?" he asked and everyone listened curiously as they opened containers and loaded plates. Even Alex dug in. Olivia shrugged, for now deciding to be mysterious as she chose a selection of food to load onto her plate along with an iced tea. She returned to her desk put her feet up and devoured the food. She was just cleaning up her apple pie and cream when her phone buzzed and remembering she had put it on vibrate she snatched it up and looked at the screen.

Jay

She stood and answered the phone

"Hey you"

"Hey" Jay laughed in reply "Like your surprise?"

"We loved it thank you, it's been devoured. Alex has actually taken 10 minutes to eat and stop riding our asses" she chuckled as she walked into the change rooms aware of curious eyes following her.

"Good I'm glad. Maybe when I meet them they will take kindly to me"

"Jay you only have to invite them to your pad to watch the Yankees on your TV and they'll love you for life" Jay laughed and they continued to talk small talk until Elliott opened the door and yelled

"Liv common we got another body"

Olivia's good mood came crashing down and she sighed "I'm sorry Jay I gotta go"

"I heard, just be careful and if you work through the night let me know and I will organise some breakfast"

"Jay"

"No, no arguing, do as you're told woman, let me look after you" Jay was firm and Olivia was starting to think the woman was heaven sent. She caved easily

"Ok. I gotta go, Bye" Olivia sighed and ended the call as she hurried out of the room.

So set the pattern for the next couple of days. Olivia snatched a couple of hours sleep in the crib, sent quick texts to Jay to let her know she was still working the case and Jay sent food to keep the hard working detectives going. Sometimes it would be a big spread, others it would be soup and sandwiches and she even sent Chinese once. Elliot stated he didn't know who this guy was but she better keep him around. Only Alex knew the truth as Olivia had confided in her on a bathroom break which had earned her a hug and a "good catch" with a wink. Olivia had protested they were friends and Alex had just shook her head and left with a laugh. Come Friday they were seriously frustrated, the perp had struck every day and left no evidence. The Public was up in arms and the higher ups were demanding answers. Then a call came in, a member of public had seen her neighbour carrying a wrapped item from his house out to the boot of his car. She swore black and blue that an arm had fallen out of the wrapping and her neighbour had gotten angry. A unit had been called and there was currently a high speed chase ensuing. Everyone ran. Even Cabot was running towards chambers to compel a warrant for the man's house. It ended when the perp lost control and crashed. He had pulled out a weapon and been shot by officers. A dead girl was located wrapped in the boot. They had conducted a search on the house and found a torture chamber in the basement along with a sterilised room where he had cleaned the victims after his sadistic ways. He turned out to be a 38 year old medical examiners assistant who had a history of assault in his teens and nothing else. They found no reason why he suddenly decided to commit such crimes. None at all. The victims' families were happy he was dead but Olivia knew they would get no real closure.

She sighed as she finished up her paperwork and checked her watch. 2100. Elliot had left and gone home to his understanding wife, Munch and Fin had gone off to get drinks and Alex had a date. She heard the Captains door open and waited for the predictable demand for her to go home. It came as predicted and Olivia immediately got up and grabbed her jacket, trying not to laugh at the surprise on Don's face. "I'm done"

"Going home?"

"Nope" she answered cryptically and he nodded, he knew never to push with Olivia

'Have a good night. I don't want to see you until Monday unless you get called in" he ordered and Olivia nodded. She wouldn't come in unless called. She quickly headed out of the 1 6 and hailed a passing taxi. Giving the driver the address for Jaydeez she sat back and tried to control the excitement growing in the pit of her stomach while she chanted to herself. Friend, friend, friend. She watched the traffic go past, the pedestrians and the other businesses until they pulled up outside the bar and Olivia handed the cabbie some money and told him to keep the change. He called out his gratitude after her and wished her a good night before she slammed the door and hurried inside. The butch bouncer offered her up a smile in recognition as she swept through the curtain and paused to look around, first taking in the band playing the blaring music, then the throng of women dancing, moving on to those who were sitting at the tables and booths before searching the bar. Her gaze alighted on Jay who was working the bar with her staff and laughing with a patron. Olivia felt her heart give a tiny flip and a smile bloomed on her face no matter how hard she tried to prevent it. She watched as Jay frowned and then looked straight over at her, saw the recognition in her face before it split into a grin. Olivia returned the grin and hurried to the bar, by the time she got there Jay already had her beer out and was coming around from the other side to meet her. They paused awkwardly in front of each other for a second before Olivia stepped in and wrapped her arms around jay's waist in a tight hug before Jay reciprocated and they held each other for long seconds.

Finally Olivia pulled back and blushed much to Jays amusement. Jay offered up the beer and Olivia took it as Jay waved to her staff and pointed upstairs. Olivia found her hand clasped in Jays before she could protest and was being dragged upstairs to her apartment. Jay gave her a warning look and led her to the couch where she sat her down and turned on the TV to a live baseball game between two other cities and left Olivia watching it while she disappeared down the other end of the apartment. Olivia relaxed, she was in Jays apartment, watching TV, Jay would return soon and they could spend the evening together watching DVD's or go back downstairs and dance. She just hoped that the phone stayed silent tonight at least.

Jay was back within 5 minutes and taking the detective by the hand started leading her to the rear of the apartment. She gave a 5 cent tour along the way pointing out an office, spare room, gym, second bath, laundry, another spare room and finally into the master suite which took up the whole far end of the apartment. A large 4 poster King size bed with matching tables was to her right which looked out floor to ceiling windows over the city below. To her left was a walk in robe. Once again to her right, past the bed was an ensuite, all open except the shower and closed off toilet. What was extremely visible was the bubble filled Jacuzzi. Olivia didn't offer up a protest when Jay dragged her over and told her to have a soak. Jay pressed a button and Olivia's jaw dropped as a 60cm TV dropped from the ceiling. Jay took up the remote and turned the baseball on before telling Olivia she was going to organise her a meal and would call when it was ready. She provided Olivia with a towel and some track pants and jumper and told her to dump her clothes out in the hall and she would put them in the wash. With a squeeze of her hand Jay left.

Olivia utilised the facilities and hastily stripped, dumping her clothes outside the bedroom door she hurried back to the tub and sunk gratefully into the waters. She sighed as she sat back and let the water sooth tired muscle. The last thing she remembered was the score tied at the bottom of the 4th.

Jay paid for the Chinese delivery and hurried back upstairs to her apartment. She set out the cartons on the table and took a punt on lighting a candle in the middle. She retrieved two fresh beers, some plates and cutlery before heading for her bedroom. She knocked on her door and called out "Olivia, dinner" and paused when there was no reply. She opened the door and stuck her head in, noticing the game was still on but Olivia was oblivious as a gentle snore proved. Jay sighed, hoping the bubbles were still in effect, she moved forward until she was in the doorway of the bathroom. "Olivia"

Olivia came out of her sleep fast and bolted upright. Her eyes wide as she looked around Jay's bathroom. Oh God she had fallen asleep in the bath. What had woken her?

"Liv?" came the quiet voice behind her and with a gasp she sunk under the water and minimal bubbles, crossing her legs and her arms over her breast. She looked up and back to the entrance and notice Jay had her back to her. Who said chivalry was dead.

"I'm sorry Jay I fell asleep" she apologised

"It's fine, dinners here. I'll let you get out in peace while I go put your clothes in the dryer. I'll meet you at the table" Jay grinned over her shoulder

"Thanks Jay, you're a jet"

"Hmmm, I'll collect in kind one day. Hurry OK" and with that she scrambled off trying to dispel the image of Olivia's naked back from her brain.

They shared a quiet meal, Olivia had glanced at the candle but made no comment, not sure what to make of it. They chatted quietly as they ate, Olivia told basic details of the case and that the offender had been shot and killed. Jay listened quietly letting Olivia unburden about her week without comment. Olivia passed on the thanks from the crew for all their meals which she took in stride. After dinner Olivia helped Jay clean up before they settled on the couch to watch a late movie. Half way through Olivia could feel herself nodding off and decided it was time to leave. Jay refused to let her go and led her into the spare room, ensuring her phone was nearby and her gun was safely tucked in a drawer. Jay wished her goodnight and told her she was going back downstairs and not to worry if she heard her come in later. Olivia was out like a light before she made it out of the apartment. She didn't so much as stir when Jay dragged herself upstairs at 0300 from a long night and checked in on her before crashing in her own bed.

Olivia slept in again until 0900. Wow, she hadn't slept this well since, ever. She got out of bed to use the facilities and found a note taped to her door telling her that Jay had come in late and would probably sleep until 11. If she wanted to stay feel free to utilise the kitchen and TV otherwise Jay would call her later. Deciding she had nowhere better to be she raided Jay's fridge for a glass of milk then settled in front of the big TV, muting the sound as she watched a College basketball game. She became so engrossed in the game she didn't hear Jay coming up behind her until long arms wrapped around her from behind and she received an impromptu hug.

"Hey" she grinned, noticing it was 1130hrs as she turned her head to look up at Jay "Busy night?"

"Madhouse" Jay groaned and yawned. "You had breakfast?"

"Glass of milk" Olivia offered sheepishly and Jay rolled her eyes

"How about I cook pancakes?" Jay asked and pulled away. Olivia bounded to her feet and was in front of the younger woman in seconds

"How about you sit down and let me make us some brunch" she paused as Jay yawned again "Then you can go back to bed and I'll get out of your hair"

"Ok you've got a half deal. You can cook brunch but if you think I am wasting precious time with you you're mad." She grinned and Olivia rolled her eyes and headed for the kitchen. She found some eggs in the fridge, some fresh bread and OJ. She made Scrambled eggs on toast for them and took it back to where Jay waited on the couch. They ate in silence, washing it down with OJ as they watched the game. Once Jay was finished she put her plate on the table and arranging a few cushions lay down with her head on them and her feet in Olivia's lap. Olivia shot her a look and received a mischievous grin in reply before Olivia put her own plate aside. They continued to watch TV quietly, just enjoying downtime together. Olivia found to her amazement that she was struggling to keep her eyes open again.

Jay noticed Olivia's battle to stay awake, she too was struggling but wanted to stay awake and in the lovely woman's company. As sleep became harder to fight an idea hit her and she wondered whether Olivia would allow it.

"Olivia" she called softly and waited for the detective to turn towards her before she scooted as far back into the couch as she could go and patted the space in front of her. She looked into Olivia's tired eyes and implored "Common, we're both tired". She waited for long seconds, watching the different emotions play across the older woman's face before Olivia finally gave in and stretched out in front of her. Jay grinned and organised them so her left arm was under Olivia's head and the other arm was around her waist as she spooned into the back of her. Long seconds later she felt a hand cup her left bicep and fingers entwine with those on her right hand. Jay smiled and let her eyes drift closed. They were both asleep in minutes.

Olivia was woken by the phone a short while later. Years of practice had her wide awake in seconds upon recognising Elliot was the caller by the ring tone. She hastily reached out and answered it before it could wake Jay

"Hello?" she whispered keeping her voice low. There was a second of silence

"Why are you whispering?" Elliot asked and Olivia sighed

"Elliot please, what have we got and where shall I meet you" she grizzled as she tried to pull away from Jay who automatically tightened her grip and growled. Unfortunately someone heard

"Wow your with someone" Elliot seemed shocked "Way to go champ"

"El" Olivia warned and he chuckled

"Kath says she has forgotten what you look like and Eli won't recognise his godmother soon. I've got strict instructions to invite you for tea and not take no as an answer"

Oh no. Not fair, Olivia was torn. She loved going around for tea and she loved her Godchild. Jay chose that precise moment to open her eyes and see her on the phone.

"Hey" she whispered "You being called in?". Olivia shook her head as Elliot crowed

"I knew you were with someone. Is that the mystery man who fed us this week?" he asked and Olivia groaned

"Yeah"

"Great, bring him with you. What's his name so I can forewarn Kathy?" Elliot asked eagerly and Olivia sighed. You asked for it champ.

"Her name is Jay. Will see you at 5 partner" and she hung up on him. Placing the phone back on the table and lay back down in Jays arms, a frown marring her brow.

"Hey, why so down?" Jay asked and Olivia looked back at her and forced a smile

"I'm good. Elliot's wife extended a dinner invitation for me tonight. Their youngest is my God Child. I haven't seen them in weeks"

"Then you need to go" Jay instructed trying to keep her disappointment at bay. She was hoping for a night with Olivia to herself. She enjoyed working in her bar but she didn't have to, she had competent managers that allowed her to sit back and relax. She kept a finger on the pulse most nights, checked her restaurants occasionally but mainly she just did her paperwork.

"Ah well you've been invited as well. I kinda accepted for both of us" she admitted sheepishly as Jay rose a brow questioningly. Had she now "I hope you don't need to work tonight, besides El wants to meet the guy who's been feeding us all week" Olivia blushed and Jay thought back over the conversation and chuckled

"Oh boy, you told him her name was Jay and hung up" she wagged a finger at Olivia "You are naughty"

"I know" Olivia went redder still "So will you come? I want you to meet them"

"Sure" Jay grinned happy that Olivia wanted her to meet what was essentially her family, or the important part anyway. It was a good sign. "How about we head downstairs after you get dressed and I make sure all things are a go for tonight, then I'll get ready and we can head to you place for you to get ready" she paused and gave an evil grin "How about we take my bike, that will get your partner thinking the old cliché as we pull up"

'What cliché?" Olivia asked

"Dykes on a bike" Jay giggled and then laughed harder when Olivia smacked her arm.

Olivia spent the next couple of hours stocking shelves, polishing glasses and helping change kegs. She loved it and she loved watching Jay and seeing the muscles in that lean body as she moved things. She squeezed her legs shut as a rush of desire hit her and a flush shot through her body. Jay glanced over her and seeing where Olivia was looking grinned. She put the keg down and then made a show of flexing her biceps. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned back to the glasses she was polishing.

At 1530 they adjourned upstairs as staff started to trickle in to open at 1600. Olivia sat and watched TV after changing into her own clothes while Jay showered. Jay returned dressed in black jeans, boots, tight white t with a JayDeez logo on the back and carried a black hoodie, in case it got cold later.

Olivia grinned and gave her the thumbs up when she asked if she looked OK. They then headed for Olivia's. Olivia was given the bike jacket and helmet that used to belong to Dee while Jay had her own. They were both a little uncomfortable with the arrangement, especially Olivia but Jay promised she would get her new ones. Olivia protested that she could buy her own but Jay refused. They would go shopping tomorrow, fingers crossed.

Once at Olivia's Jay sat on the couch flipping through Police magazines that Olivia had stacked on the coffee table while Olivia showered and dressed. She quickly realised the magazines weren't exactly for everyday reading when she came across horrific photos of crime scenes that made her stomach churn. Olivia saw these in real life and she didn't know how she did it. Just made her more special.

At 1640 they were ready, Olivia was dressed in blue hipster jeans and a black shirt. She had her ever present leather jacket too. She provided a back pack for it to go in with Jay's hoodie and then slung it on after putting on the riding jacket. They headed out into the hall and Olivia caught the nosey biddy from next door stick her head out. She gave the woman a wave and then deliberately took Jays hand as they walked past. They chuckled as the woman gasped and slammed the door.

At 1657 they pulled into Elliot's driveway and saw him out the front watering the garden, beer in hand. His mouth fell open in shock on seeing Olivia on a bike and hastily retreated to turn off the hose. The front door banged oped as the 15 year old twins decided they could be uncool for a few seconds and raced for their honorary aunt. Olivia had just enough time to take off her helmet and hand it to a bemused Jay who hadn't had a chance to take hers off yet when Lizzie pounced

"Aunt Olivia" she launched herself at Olivia who caught her and swung her around 360 degrees before giving Dickie a one armed hug and ruffling his hair. Noticing that Jay had finally removed her helmet she introduced Jay

"Jay these terrible twins are my nephew and niece Dickie and Lizzie. Guys this is Jay."

"Hello" Jay smiled and offered her hand. They both went a bit shy and shook it hesitantly before Lizzie turned to her aunt

"Is she your girlfriend aunt Olivia?" which caused Olivia's eyes to bug

"She's hot" Dickie proclaimed next and Olivia groaned in mortification

"Why thank you young man" Jay laughed and then turned to Lizzie "I'm working on it kiddo, give me time" which earned her another smack on the arm from Olivia. Elliot made his presence known then and Olivia looked at him to see him offering a wicked smile and his eyes were twinkling. Oh boy.

"Hey Jay, I'm Elliot"

"Hi" Jay took his offered hand "I've heard so much about you"

"Please don't give him a big head" Olivia groaned and they laughed

"Oh" Elliot ignored her comment "Tell me everything"

Any further banter was disrupted by an excited squeal and Olivia's smile bloomed as she raced over to the front door and carefully opened it before scooping up her Godson into her arms and smothering his face with kisses as he squealed.

Jay watched on, heart in mouth as she saw the woman who was slowly becoming to mean a lot to her play with the toddler. Elliot watched Jay watch Olivia and relaxed. This woman adored his partner. He had to admit he was a little shocked that she appeared quite young but she was also stunningly beautiful. Only the best for Olivia.

"She was there when Eli was born" Elliot told her as Olivia strolled over oblivious to the conversation "Kath was in Labour and I was working and couldn't get away. Olivia was racing her to hospital when a drunk driver hit the passenger side of the car" he failed to notice Jay pale and continued with the story "Olivia held her while they cut her out of the car then helped paramedics deliver Eli. Kath coded after he was born but they got her back"

"Elliot shut up" Olivia growled and handed over Eli who didn't want to go before closing Jay into a hug. Jay held on tight while she tried to fight her own memories and demons.

Elliot stared at Olivia and Jay wondering what he said. The next second he had Kath yelling at him from the door asking what he had done. He could only shrug and look at her dumbfounded. By his reaction Kathy calmed a bit as she came forward but was concerned for the young woman she had yet to meet.

Jay gathered herself slowly then became mortified when she realised what had happened. She had to stop reacting like that.

"Are you OK?" Olivia asked

"Yeah just embarrassed" she admitted and pulled back to look at Elliot and Kathy who were watching in concern "I'm sorry I lost my wife and unborn child to a drunk driver 3 years ago. You talking about Eli kinda reminded me"

"Oh" was all Elliot could manage

"Oh no I am sorry" said another voice and Jay turned to see Elliot's wife

"Kathy I presume"

"Yes. I'm sorry for my big mouthed husband" she apologised "it's a pleasure to meet you"

"Likewise and he didn't know" she told them and finally let go of Olivia when she realised Eli was straining to get to her. Olivia swung him up easily and brought him over to Jay.

"Jay this is my Godson Eli" Olivia said "Eli this is Jay, can you say hello?"

"H'wo" he said shyly as he buried his head in her neck. Jay chuckled and chucked him under his chin. He giggled and held tight to his aunts neck.

Slowly they progressed inside and the twins ran off to entertain themselves in the lounge while the adults took Eli into the kitchen for his dinner. Elliot organised meat and potatoes for the grill while Kathy organised Eli's dinner. Jay watched Olivia as she played patter cake with Eli before placing him in his high chair for feeding. Jay was not surprised that the older woman had Eli giggling while he ate all sorts of yucky vegies.

"She is a natural, she should be a mother" Kathy whispered in her ear

"She is" Jay nodded "She will be, one day I am sure" she gave nothing away but as she watched Olivia she had to hope that it would be one day soon and she would love to be mom to Olivia's mama.

The evening progressed quickly as Eli finished his meal and then had play time with his God mother. Jay offered to help in the kitchen or with the grill but found herself shooed away and was soon crawling around on all fours with Eli and Olivia in the play room. Playing with one toy then another in an energy burst only a toddler could have. Although soon the adults became aware that said toddler was rubbing his eyes sleepily and Olivia scooped him up and carried him into the bathroom for his bath. Jay followed and more play time ensured with a little boat and sea creatures before he was rubbed down and dressed for bed. He was taken in to say goodnight to his parents and family who all kissed him and wished him goodnight before Olivia took him off to bed. Jay waved goodnight and blew him a kiss over Olivia's shoulder and he giggled and buried his head in her shoulder.

"You're a natural" Elliot beamed and she shrugged

"I love kids" she told them and rolled her eyes when they shared an conspiratorial look. "I think I'm going to check on Lizzie and Dickie" she told them and quickly left the kitchen. She found them in the lounge playing with the Nintendo Wii

"Hey Jay, how good are you at Monster Truck?" Lizzie asked and Jay recognised it as one of the games she had at home. She shrugged not giving anything away and moved forward, taking the steering wheel Lizzie offered and sitting beside Dickie on the couch. She listened as the kids explained the buttons which she already knew and then asked which truck was hers. Soon the race was on and Jay was glad for the hours of solitary practice as Dickie was finally a worthy opponent. The lead changed several times, Jay using all her driving skills and Dickie fighting dirty. She wasn't sure how the computer separated them but Dickie won by a hair.

"Wow you're good, better than Aunt Liv" he stared in awe

"Shh" Jay shushed him looking around "You say things like that she won't bring me anymore" she teased and watched his eyes bug "I have two consoles. One at my apartment and one at my cabin. I also have two giant screens to play them on"

"Really?" Both kids were bug eyed now

"Yep. Over twice as big as that" she nodded at their TV and their mouths gaped. They could barely imagine it "Maybe you can come play one day"

"Awesome" Dickie crowed and they turned back to play another game. By dinner they were 3 games apiece and decided that they would play the decider after they ate and before the twins went to bed.

Jay followed the twins into the kitchen and found Olivia draped in a kitchen chair swigging a beer, Kathy opposite with a wine and Elliot bringing in the meat and potatoes. The table was laden with salads and fresh bread. Jays stomach growled quietly.

"Mum, dad guess what, Jay has 2 Nintendo Wii's" Dickie said excitedly as they sat down at the table, Jay sliding in next to Olivia

"Yeah one at her apartment and one at her Cabin" Lizzie cut in

"Yeah and she says her TV is twice the size of ours and we can come over and play anytime" Dickie added

"Yeah and she says maybe one day we can all go up to her cabin and she can teach us to ride her ATV's or her jet skis. She'll teach us to wakeboard in summer and snow mobile in winter"

Jay was aware of all 3 adults looking at her and cleared her throat "What?"

Olivia had to bite her cheeks to prevent a laugh, Kathy just shook her head and groaned and Elliot was practically salivating.

"You have a giant screen TV?"

"Um yeah" she answered tentatively

"Oh brother, you know they're all going to bug me until they can go see that TV for themselves" Kathy stated and Jay shrugged

"No problem with me, we're not doing anything tomorrow are we?" she asked Olivia who's breath caught on the implications of the question, it wasn't lost on the Stabler's either. Jay was acting like they were already a couple.

"Um no"

"Ok good, come for lunch, I'll give you the address after tea Kathy. I'll do a grill and the kids can play Nintendo. Oh bring your bathers so you can relax in the Hot Tub"

All 3 adults stared at her in different levels of shock so she elaborated while placing a hand on Olivia's thigh

"I haven't shown you yet but I have enclosed half the roof, which has folding doors you can open on a nice day. I have a patio area up there with chairs and grill. I have a hot tub and a small heated lap pool"

"Wow" was all Elliot could say "She could rival Cabot" he told his partner and Jay vigorously shook her head

"No. Oh no no no. Cabot's are SERIOUS money. My estate I inherited is smaller than their cabin up at the lakes. I believe last year they left the Millionaire status behind and climbed into the Billionaire hemisphere, recession be damned"

"You know Alex?" Kathy asked as they all slowly piled food on their plates, saying grace quickly and started to eat. The conversation continued to flow, everyone asking Jay questions and the young woman flushing in embarrassment as she answered. She was also aware that Olivia sat quietly taking it all in.

After a lovely dinner and a superb desert of Apple pie Jay was dragged back into the lounge by the twins. Elliot plodded outside to clean the grill while Olivia helped with the dishes. Kathy smiled and said honestly

"I like her". Olivia laughed and shook her head. Incorrigible.

"So do I. We're friends Kath and if it develops it does"

"Are you attracted to her?"

"Yes, but whether I ever get the nerve to act on it I don't know, plus the idea of intimacy still makes me skittish after um" she paused and Kathy understood she was talking about her undercover operation in a women's prison and the assault that occurred there. Olivia sighed "She's a lovely woman, a little young but" she shrugged "Damn Kath she gets me. She knows there's something dark in my past just by conversations and hasn't pressured me to tell her. She understands I work all hours and this week she's kept the whole squad fed. All she asks in return is I let her know that I'm safe so I do" Olivia sighed and Kath listened intently "Kath I've only been home to shower and change in the last couple of weeks. I've either slept in the crib or on Jays couch or in her spare room, I'll probably stay there tonight. She makes me laugh, makes me feel secure, confidant, free. I feel safe with her Kath" she admitted and Kathy grinned

"Good, then you need to keep her around. No running scared"

"I'll try" Olivia nodded "Promise me if I do you'll get me and drag me straight back again"

"Absolutely" Kathy finished washing and tugged the towel out of Olivia's hands "Now go grab a couple of beers and speak with El, he needs to know your OK and probably ask a few questions of his own"

Olivia groaned but did as she was told, finding Elliot relaxing in a deck chair out the back. She slid into the one beside him and handed him his beer

"Cheers" he thanked her and blew out a breath "So the Spanish inquisition over"

"Yep, you're turn now" Olivia teased and he shook his head

"Just answer me this Liv, are you happy?" he asked and she didn't have to think about it, just nodded "Then I'm happy for you" he told her. Olivia looked at him for a long time then reached out and squeezed his arm. They shared an awkward look, realised they were getting mushy and looked away "So' Elliot cleared his throat "Giant TV huh?"

Olivia laughed. She confirmed the TV and that the master en suite had a Jacuzzi which she used, alone she told him pointedly. They discussed the possibilities of the estate and the cabin. Especially the cabin and it's toys. Olivia informed him that she had a Jeep and a SUV in the garage back home. Elliot teased her that she had snagged a rich toy girl which earned him a smack.

They changed the topic onto neutral conversation, trying hard to keep away from work related. It wasn't until the evening chill got to them that they realised they had been outside for a couple of hours and hurried inside to the warm.

They found Dickie and Jay still locked in battle, this time on a Mario bros game though. Kathy was sitting in a chair watching while Lizzie was sitting on the couch behind Jay who was sitting on the floor leaning back and allowing Lizzie to braid her hair. She shared a look with Elliot before he went to sit in the spare chair and Olivia sat on the couch beside Lizzie. Jay spared her a grin before sending a barrel into Dickies car and blowing him up so she could pass him.

"Cheater" Dickie yelled and Jay chuckled as everyone settled in to watch the action.

At 2200 Elliot physically turned off the TV and told the kids to say goodnight. There were a few grizzles but Olivia eventually got hugs for the twins before they hugged their parents. Lizzie turned and looked at Jay who was picking herself up off the floor. Jay winked at her and thanked her for doing her hair. Lizzie grinned and ran forward to envelope Jay in a hug, no longer shy. She practically skipped out of the room calling over her shoulder "See you tomorrow Jay" Jay grinned and waved. Dickie offered up his hand to shake and Jay took it and in a swift move tugged him off balance and swept him into a hug. He blushed beet red when she kissed his cheek

'Seeya handsome'

"Awe Jay" he grumbled "save it for Aunt Liv" he teased his aunt who bolted up and chased him out of the lounge. Jay laughed and slumped into the couch

'Phew, I think I'm going to be playing Mario Bros in my sleep tonight" she chuckled and closed her eyes, popping them open straight away "Yep definitely"

Everyone laughed and swapped banter until Olivia returned 15 minutes later and sat beside her. They made small talk for a while then Olivia made the decision to go, she wanted to sleep while she could. She shot Elliot a glare when he waggled his eyebrows in suggestion. Jay blushed and Kathy rolled her eyes.

Jay wrote down her address for Kathy and told her where the private entrance was. She informed her that even if the two superheroes were called out she was still expected with the kids. Any time after 1100 was fine. Kathy promised to be there.

They said goodbyes and then rugging up they headed for the bike, Jay starting the powerful engine and climbing on, Olivia snuggled in behind her. They gave one last wave and with a rev of the engine zoomed out onto the street.

"If Liv doesn't hold onto that woman I'm going to smack her upside the head" Elliot stated

"Join the cue. She fit in so well tonight, the kids love her and despite her age Olivia and her look meant to be"

"Yes" Elliot grinned "I can't wait til tomorrow. Lets hit the sack, the sooner we sleep the sooner tomorrow will be here" he took his wife's hand and led her inside the house.

It took a bit of convincing but Jay managed to get Olivia to pack a weekend bag and agree to spend until Monday morning at her house. It was a bit awkward carrying it on the bike but they were home by midnight. Jay sent Olivia upstairs while she went and checked on the club. Olivia smiled indulgently and headed up the stairs and then to the spare room where she changed into track pants and a tank top before heading out into the lounge. She walked around, using the time to look at the pictures on the wall, the landscapes and the few of Jay with Dee. It wasn't long before Jay was letting herself in and seeing her still up grinned. She shed her bike jacket and hung it on the nearby stand and placed her helmet down before heading for the waiting detective.

"I had a great time tonight. I love the Stabler's" she sighed as she enveloped Olivia in a hug and held her. Olivia chuckled and hugged her back

'I believe they love you too. I'm sure they can't wait for tomorrow" she held on a bit tighter "I believe that feeling is mutual too"

"Yep" Jay laughed placing a kiss on Olivia's forehead "Common bed young lady, I'd hate for me to be the reason you missed your beauty sleep"

"Don't wanna" Olivia complained and Jay groaned as she struggled to fight the desire being this close to the beautiful detective caused "Liv please, I know you're not ready for any alternative ideas" she pulled back steadily and was glad when Olivia let her. She cupped Olivia's downturned face and forced her to look up "Sweetheart listen to me" she begged an Olivia's eyes bugged at the endearment "I want nothing more than to take you to my bed and just hold you all night but 1 I don't trust myself and two I don't think you're ready for that small step. I need you to be sure Olivia, I can handle friends but once we take that step I know there will be no going back for me. For now though goodnight, sleep well and I will see you in the morning so we can prepare lunch for our guests" With that and a light kiss to the cheek Jay strolled out of sight.

Olivia stood in a daze for a long time but finally decided she was too tired to decipher anything tonight. She had a small grin on her lips though when she remembered Jays words 'our' guests. Turning off lights as she went she soon fell into bed and a deep sleep.

The downstairs buzzer rang at 1055 the next morning while they were standing side by side in the kitchen making salads. Olivia wiped her hands and buzzed them in then waited for the doorbell to ring before hurrying to the door thinking her guests had arrived. They had slept in this morning and were running a bit late. She threw open the door with a big smile on her face only to come face to face with a stranger. I beautiful stranger dressed in army fatigues and looking a bit worse for wear

"Who are you?" the woman asked then groaned and held her head "Where's Jay?'

"Stacey?" Jay asked and hurried over to grab the woman around the waist as she swayed "Dammit Stacey what have you been doing this time." She sniffed "You smell like a brothel and brewery all rolled into one" Jay raised distraught eyes to Olivia begging for help. Olivia took up the other side of Stacey and they led her down into the third room.

"I'm not drunk, not anymore, just a hangover" Stacey sighed as they sat her down on the bed "I woke this morning in a cheap hotel, naked, with 2 women beside me and had no recollection of what happened" she looked up at Jay with devastated eyes "It still hurts Jay. When does the pain stop"

Jay paused from her mission of untying the boots and gently cupped her friends face.

"I know Stace, I know it hurts. It will get better I promise"

"Do you still hurt Jay?"

"Sometimes, but its less each time, I try and remember the happy times. I've moved on"

Olivia saw striking blue eyes cut to where she was standing and assess her quickly before looking away

"She's hot" she heard and couldn't prevent a blush from rising up her cheeks. Jay finished untying the boots and pulled them off, socks, pants and long sleeve shirt followed leaving the woman in an Army issued t and boxers.

"Go to sleep Stacey. I've got visitors coming so ignore the noise OK. When you're feeling better get up and shower, I'll leave some clothes out for you"

"Thanks Jay, you're the best"

"I know" Jay grinned and tucked her friend in. The woman was snoring before she had finished. Olivia led Jay back out to the kitchen where she went to the fridge to pull out beers, offering one to Olivia. Olivia took it and waited.

"A year ago Stacey returned from Iraq after suffering shrapnel wounds, burns, hearing loss in both ears and partial loss of sight in her left eye. She expected her long term lover, a heli pilot to be waiting, pissed that she got injured. She found out then that Mia had died in a crash, mechanical failure, 6 months prior" Jay sighed "I've never hated the armed forces don't ask, don't tell policy more. It devastated her and being ruled unfit for duty and being discharged on a pension threw her over the edge. She lives day by day now. She doesn't often turn to alcohol but when she does" Jay waved towards the bedroom and Olivia sighed and moved forward to hold her "Mia would be so fucking annoyed with her"

"Have you told her that?" Olivia asked

"Are you kidding, just saying Mia's name breaks her" Jay snuggled closer "Thankyou"

"Anytime" Olivia gave her a final squeeze "Common the guys will be here any second and we still have to finish that salad"

Half an hour later the Stabler's had arrived and Olivia had explained the situation. She took Eli to keep him quiet and after letting the twins and Elliot ogle the TV they had followed Jay out of the apartment and up to the roof. Olivia had taken a quick tour this morning and watched the Stabler's reactions. You stepped out of the door into an enclosed patio. To your left was a large 8 person hot tub, beyond that an ensuite, to your right was an alfresco area complete with outdoor kitchen and dining. The patio doors had been opened onto a garden and some turf before leading to a raised lap pool.

'Wow' Kathy whispered and Elliot whistled. The twins ran excitedly over to the hot tub and begged to get in. Jay told them for half an hour only and pulled off the cover. The kids were wearing their bathers and stripped quickly and hopped in. Jay activated the jets and eyes went wide with surprise. Olivia chuckled, she didn't think they'd experienced a hot tub before. Even Eli stopped jabbering away at the sound and looked over. He stared for long seconds then squealed reaching out. Figured. The tyke loved a bath so the Hot tub was nirvana. She went over and gently lowered him so that he could feel the bubbles. He chuckled and splashed, ensuring he and Olivia got wet.

"Monster" she growled and blew raspberries on his belly. She handed him over to Kathy who came over to check things out and headed for the grill. Soon the smell of sizzling steak and sausages filled the air. Jay made a few trips downstairs with Elliot to bring up plates, cutlery and salads. Not long after that they were tucking into their lunch.

When Elliot's phone rang half way through everyone froze. Elliot shot his wife an apologetic look before unclipping it from his belt. His brow rose in surprise on seeing the caller though.

"It's Alex" he stated then answered the call 'Hi Alex... yeah... sure...I'm kinda busy... I'm with Liv, we're having lunch"

Jay held out her hand for the phone and looked at Olivia who nodded. Jay understood this to mean Alex knew

"If that is Alex Cabot give me the phone" Jay demanded and Elliot stared for long seconds before handing it over.

'Alex Cabot it has been years" Jay stated.

Alex Cabot arrived half an hour later dressed like Olivia had never seen her before in skinny jeans, sandals and skin tight long sleeved top which kept riding up and showing off a strip of flesh and a toned abdomen that had her gaping. One would think this was a totally social occasion if not for the little square glasses and the briefcase. She wanted to go over depositions for court the following day and Jay had ordered her to 'get her ass over here, do business and then catch up'. So Alex had showered, dressed to kill and come over.

Olivia turned her attention to Eli who was eager to explore his surroundings and left Jay to catch up with Alex. When Alex admitted she had only had a few cups of coffee today Jay had dragged her to the table still laden with food and ordered her to eat. Eli jabbered away in baby gibberish, telling a story only he understood, Olivia picked up a few words, mainly her name. She took him wherever he pointed, although she refused to take him near the pool she happily showed him around the gardens looking at all the flowers.

"Jay!" he crowed next and pointed, straining in Olivia's arms to see where Jay was. Olivia blinked in surprise and looked over at the table to see Elliot and Kathy watching curiously. Jay was still talking with Alex as she ate. Put out he wasn't getting attention from the nominated source he squealed, about deafening Olivia and cried "JAY!"

Jay blinked in surprise and saw Olivia walking her way with a straining Eli who held his arms out to her. She simply reacted to the imploring and standing quickly scooped him out of Olivia's arms.

"Why hello there" she grinned and tickled his tummy, laughing as he giggled. She slowly became aware of all the adults staring at her in shock. "What?'

"I don't believe it" Elliot crowed and slapped his partner on the back as she slumped in her chair and sulked

"I feel replaced" she sighed and stuck out her bottom lip comically. Kathy just shook her head

"He never willingly leave's Olivia's arms. Even as a baby he would scream like a banshee" Kathy was dumbfounded "Looks like you've been replaced Olivia" she teased and received a mock glare

"Oh" Jay bit her lip to try and keep a straight face "Sorry about that babe" she told Olivia. Olivia blinked and shot a surprised look at Jay at the endearment. It didn't go unnoticed by the other 3 adults either. Eli grabbed Jay's attention though before she could regret her slip of the tongue by cupping her face and pressing his nose to hers

"Jay" he laughed

"U huh, that's my name" she poked him in the tummy "Eli"

"Jay" he chuckled then turned his head to Kathy "Mum" he pointed to Elliot next "Da" he shuffled "Wivia" then he turned towards Alex and looked at her steadily as if trying to place her. He turned to Jay as if asking for help and she smiled

"Alex"

"Awix" Eli crowed and everyone laughed at the slaughtering of the name. Thinking he had said something funny Eli continued to crow "Awix, Awix, Awix" while bouncing up and down on Jay's leg. Alex groaned and decided it was time to speak to her detectives. Eli protested Alex and Olivia moving to sit out in the garden but soon was sidetracked by Jay as she played little piggy with his toes.

The twins waited exactly 30 minutes after lunch before asking if they could get back in the hot tub. Jay nodded her consent and they scrambled away. Olivia swapped places with Elliot and raised a querying brow when Eli held out a foot for her

"Little piggy" Jay instructed and Olivia grinned, playing as requested.

Kathy sat back and watched the two women with her son and decided then and there she would help Jay move heaven and earth to be Olivia's partner. They just looked good together, responded well together and she could already see the attraction and growing affection between the couple. They played game after game of little piggy, insy binsy spider and patter cake.

Olivia had never felt so relaxed or so comfortable around someone as she did Jay. The woman was so open and free with her affection towards Eli and in return Eli trusted her implicitly. Olivia was simply overwhelmed with affection towards the younger woman and as they shared a look she let some of that affection and happiness show. A smile bloomed on Jay's face and Olivia could see the caring returned in waves. Their happiness was broken when the silence was shattered by the ringing of Elliot's phone. Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head. Figured, just when she was having a moment of completeness.

She turned her head to look at Elliot who was already striding her way, a determined look in his eye. Yep, duty calls. Sighing she turned back to Jay and saw the understanding in her eyes, accompanied with a bit of worry. She was relieved to see no anger or resentment.

"Duty calls" Olivia sighed

"Part of the job description and why I like you so much" Jay told her and taking her hand gave it a squeeze. Olivia blushed and turned back to Elliot

"What have we got?"

"Double rape and homicide in Central Park. Two male victims" he sighed and Olivia rose a surprised brow. Male victims, unless children, were rare.

"Ok let's go" she stood and looked around unsure what to do. Usually when she got called away she was alone and at home, maybe having lunch with Alex but now? Elliot looked nonplussed to, what to do with Kathy and the kids. Jay came to the rescue.

"Kathy and the kids are staying, we've got all afternoon. Alex is staying too" she growled when Alex started packing up her briefcase. Alex froze like a startled deer then sighed and leant back in her chair. Jay turned to Olivia "Take the jeep, keys are hanging up near the coat rack, green tag."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked and Jay nodded "Thanks" she smiled and bending placed a kiss on Eli's cheek "Seeya little man, Aunt Liv's gotta go fight the bad guys" she told him and watched as he leant his head on Jays shoulder and waved. Ah she had been replaced. Bummer. Before she had time to stop and think she leant forward again and placed a kiss on Jay's cheek "Seeya, I'll call you"

"I'll keep the phone handy" Jay nodded not daring to bring up the kiss "Be safe". Olivia nodded and squeezed her forearm then after Elliot said his goodbyes they quickly headed down to the apartment. She found her wallet and keys before locating the Jeep keys and they quickly raced downstairs. The black jeep was parked in the farthest bay and they hurried to it. Elliot whistled as he climbed in, looking at the luxurious interior

"How the other half live" he chuckled and she told him to shut it. She drove as Elliot guided her where they needed to go. Olivia was very cautious of the expensive vehicle and it took them 5 minutes longer than it normally would to get to the scene. They flashed their badges upon arriving and told the uniform to watch the jeep like a hawk. Upon arriving at the scene they found Melinda Warner the medical examiner already in attendance.

The scene was approximately 50 yards off a running track. A couple had been playing Frisbee with their dog when it had sailed into the trees. The dog had returned with a bloodied wallet instead and the unfortunate couple had decided to investigate and came across the grizzly scene.

Olivia sighed as she took in the scene, both men were young, college age she guessed, both had hands tied, mouths gagged, jeans around their ankles exposing their privates which had been mutilated, pre mortem. Olivia swallowed the bile in her throat when told that. Both had had their throats slit and dozens of stab wounds. Someone was very angry.

They recorded the names of the boys according to the ID found and waited for the crime scene guys to arrive. Warner gave an estimation of time of death somewhere between midnight and 5am. She would know more once she had conducted a Post Mortem. Crime scene guys attended and did a sweep of the crime scene nearby. Elliot updated the captain by phone who would contact Munch and Fin to get them working on next of kin's. Olivia canvassed the immediate area but found nothing out of sorts. They talked to a park Officer who stated the park is usually shut down at midnight until 5. Security cameras were nonexistent. No one had seen the boys enter, nothing suspicious had been seen or heard.

They widened their search grid, showing polaroids of the boys faces, until they came to a cafe about a block away from the nearest entrance to where the bodies had been located. A barista claimed to have seen them last night just before closing at 1000. They appeared close and had left arm in arm, they were regulars at the shop, lived nearby. She was devastated to hear they were dead. No she hadn't seen anything, no one had followed them out, and they were the last to leave. She had locked up and left via the back door at 11pm, she had heard and seen no one and had walked to the subway.

Olivia took her name and details and thanked her before she left the cafe with Elliot. Further enquiries turned up blanks and they returned to the jeep to head for the precinct. Upon arriving she glance at her watch and wondered quickly what jay was doing but quickly cleared her mind as she made her report to the Captain. As they were talking the Captains phone rang, it was Munch and he was at the apartment the victims shared. They had found the door ajar and upon pushing it open for a peak had found it trashed and "All faggots must die" spray painted on the wall. They hadn't been in the rest of the apartment and were waiting for techies to finish the crime scene before heading over.

Olivia sighed as they were ordered to go over to the scene and free up Munch and Fin who would go notify the parents. It was going to be a long night.

Jay had had a great afternoon with Alex and Kathy and the kids. Stacey had made an appearance about half an hour after Olivia left, freshly showered and looking a little better. Jay had forced her to eat and had kept the topic light.

The twins had been persuaded to leave the hot tub and they had adjourned downstairs to her apartment. Eli had fallen asleep in her arms and she had taken him with Kathy to the room Olivia used and tucked him up between pillows on the bed. The room smelled of Olivia so something would be familiar when he woke.

They returned to the lounge to find Alex and Stacey had been roped into playing Wii and there was a 4 way competition going on. The women were holding their own. Jay was pleasantly surprised to see Stacey smiling. Even Alex appeared to be enjoying herself. She retreated to the kitchen with Kathy to boil the kettle to make a cuppa. Stacey declined, opting for water but Alex requested a coffee. She had tea along with Kathy and they left the kids, including the two big ones, to play Nintendo while they sat at the dining table to talk. She asked Kathy how she handled Elliot doing his job, the call outs and the other cons of the job. She was surprised when Kathy informed her of the divorce and the subsequent reconciliation, hence Eli, and her understanding that the job was dangerous but it could be worse, they could be on the front line. Yes Elliot had been shot, stabbed and all manner of things. Jay felt her heart jump in her throat when Kathy informed her that so had Olivia. They were both passionate about the jobs and sometimes you just had to take the passenger seat. Then Kathy asked

"I know it hasn't been long but I have seen you with Olivia and I think you will be good for her. How involved do you intend to get?"

Jay understood that Kathy was family and Olivia undoubtedly had no one else to look out for her intentions

"Very, I take that seriously. Honestly Kathy I'm already half in love with her, she's a very special person"

"Yes she is" Kathy agreed and looked at her long and hard before deciding to warn her "I want to see you with Olivia but it won't be easy. At times, a lot of the times she thinks she is unlovable. She may run from you thinking she is doing you a favour. I've already told her if she does I will be dragging her straight back again" she paused and Jay waited, she knew Kathy wouldn't give away Olivia's secrets but she may get a few clues "Olivia was raised by her mum, her father" Jay was surprised when Kathy's eyes went cold "well I'll leave that story to her. Her upbringing had very few happy moments and her mother has passed. She has an older half brother who she discovered a couple of years ago but he is controlling and she rarely sees him. Further information comes from her"

Jay nodded in understanding. Sounded like her father was an ass, her mother ignored her at worst and when she finally found some family he tried to control what she did. Oh Liv, I swear I am going to love you like no other. When you are with me you are going to be seriously loved.

The Stabler's left at 4.30 along with Alex. Jay gave them her contact numbers and they returned the favour. Jay told Kathy that if the 'heroes', as she had dubbed them, got called out on weekends in the future to give her a call. They were welcome any time. She gave Kathy and the twins a hug, cuddled and kissed Eli before waving them off. She gave Alex a hug too and told her not to be a stranger and if she didn't hear from her in a fortnight she would start stalking her. Alex laughed and with a wave left.

Jay had then returned inside to have a heart to heart with Stacey. Stacey took it on the chin, agreeing with her. Jay even dared to bring up that Mia would be pissed with her and what she was doing with her life. To her surprise Stacey had nodded through her tears and claimed she wanted to kick start her life. She then grinned and held up a piece of paper with Alex's name and phone number. Jay was dumbfounded and horrified all rolled into one. Stacey had told her she told Alex about her injuries and her dismissal from the army. Alex had become affronted and started talking about contacts and they had swapped numbers. She had no idea what it meant. Stacey had stayed for tea before helping her clean up and going home. Jay found herself at loose ends and instead of sitting around thinking of Olivia decided to head downstairs. Changing quickly into her uniform she raced downstairs and immersed herself in the familiar.

Olivia and Elliot left the victims' apartment at a little after 2130hrs. She was tired and frustrated. The victims were popular students at a local college. They were not into partying, were studying difficult subjects, members of all different associations and were clean living. Neighbours were shocked at their passing, had not seen or heard anything and were now petrified.

At 2200 they were back at the station with takeouts for all from Nandos. As they ate they reviewed what they had which wasn't a lot. Munch was able to provide that one victim came from a well to do family and the other a middle class family. Both family were Christians, both denied their son was gay and claimed the other boy was a friend and flatmate only. Munch then stated something interesting. He had spoken to a younger sister of the middle class boy who said she knew her brother was gay and so did her parents. They had tried to intervene several times and her brother had been sent to a course to help 'cure' him. He had come home, claimed he was cured and promptly moved in with his boyfriend, telling his parents not to contact him unless they could accept him for who he was. The family sent their pastor to try and bring him home. The boy had called the Police on the pastor when he refused to leave. Presented with this information the parents had become angry and insisted they leave.

The captain told them to write up their reports and go home. He wanted them fresh faced at 0700 tomorrow. Munch and Fin were going to visit the pastor and Olivia and Elliot had Court then autopsy duties. Bring on Friday Olivia grizzled. She took time out to text jay and tell her what was happening and that it would be another hour before she got away and then had to drop El in Queens. She was 5 minutes into the paperwork when she received a text back stating Jay would wait up, she was currently at Jaydeez working. Olivia replied she would see her around 1am. She was looking forward to going home to someone. In fact she felt so comfortable she hadn't even realised she thought of going to Jay's as home until she was letting herself in the apartment at 0115 to find Jay watching the late news.

Olivia placed her keys and wallet on the table beside the door and put her jacket on its peg on the coat rack before turning to find Jay had moved to the kitchen and was putting on the kettle. Grinning Olivia strolled to the kitchen and leant up against the sink while she watched jay make some lemon honey tea. She raised a querying brow at Jay who handed her a mug, took her free hand in hers and pulled her to the couch

"It will soothe you and help you sleep. When do you have to be back at work?" Jay asked as she sat and pulled Olivia down next to her, not relinquishing her hand

"Seven" Olivia informed and shrugged when Jay gaped at her

"Well shit" Jay reached for the remote and turned off the TV. "Common lets get you to bed"

"I'm too jazzed to sleep" Olivia admitted and Jay rolled her eyes and pulled her up off the couch again leading her to the bathroom, turning off lights as they went.

"Well you can drink the drink and at least lay there and rest" she told the older woman, taking her mug and giving her a nudge towards the bathroom "Go on go. I'll take this to the bedroom".

Olivia sighed and shut the door before taking her time on the privy. She brushed her hair and her teeth and washed her face in warm water before heading for her room. She was disappointed not to see Jay and with a sigh quickly changed into a singlet and boxers. She looked around for her tea but couldn't find it. Frowning she headed out into the corridor

"Jay?"

"My room" came the reply and she wandered down the corridor to jays room, finding her sitting up in bed on the far side. Her mug was on the nearest bedside table, the bedspread on this side of the bed was turned down "Hey I figured since you weren't tired we could have a bit of a slumber party and stay up watching TV and drinking and eating in bed" she held up a bag of potato chips "If you get tired you can go to your own room. If you fall asleep at least you'll be comfy"

Jay stopped when she realised she was babbling and sighed. Olivia didn't move, just continued to stare knowing there was more to the story and if she gave in now Jay would get away with her happy go lucky answer. Finally Jay raised her eyes to hers and they were serious when she stated

"Today was my first experience of having you called out to a job. I'm glad Kathy was here cause it's slightly nerve wracking you know" she blew out a breath and Olivia waited patiently, heart in mouth as she continued to explain "I wouldn't change it or you for the world Olivia, I love what you do and I can see you do too but let me be a little relieved that you're home safe. I just want to be with you, nothing will happen I swear"

Olivia stared at the young woman in front of her in awe. What had she done to deserve this wonderful creature? Pushing aside all self doubts for now she moved forward and cautiously slid into the bed next to Jay. Jay offered her a tremulous smile and simply turned her attention to the TV. Olivia took up her drink and sipped it as she mulled over options. She could sit here and pretend that just being here, side by side was enough. Or she could stop acting like a wimp and do what she really wanted to do and reach over and draw Jay into her arms. It took until she finished her drink to build up the courage. She put the mug aside, slid down in the bed and reached out to touch Jay's arm.

"Jay"

"Hmmm?" Jay didn't take her eyes off the TV scared she would crack and hold on to Olivia, refusing to let go.

"Turn the TV and light off Jay, can you set the alarm for 0630?" Olivia whispered and shakily Jay did as requested before laying down on her side of the bed, not daring to move, ecstatic that Olivia was in her bed "Come here Jay, let me hold you" Olivia whispered next and Jay didn't have to be asked twice, scooting across so that she was cuddled into Olivia's side and she sighed happily. Olivia heard the sigh and asked "What?"

"I am the happiest woman on the planet at the moment" Jay sighed again and wrapped an arm across Olivia's waist, her tension draining away.

Confused Olivia asked "Why?"

"Duh!" Jay poked her in the ribs "Because I'm in bed with the sexiest woman on the planet and she's letting me hold her"

Olivia blushed and chuckled embarrassed "You need glasses" she muttered before adding "Simple pleasures make you happy then if it only takes cuddling with me to make you that happy"

"Well I could be happier" Jay admitted

"Oh?" Olivia asked

"We could be doing it naked" she chuckled which earned her a poke in the side.

"Smarty. Go to sleep" Olivia ordered and Jay sighed, finding she was already drifting. She thought being in bed with Olivia would have her awake all night with sexual tension but realised she was wrong. They both needed sleep and comforting at the moment not sex and therefore it was easy to drift into sleep. Olivia listened to her bed partners breaths even out, telling her Jay was falling asleep. Her last thought as sleep took hold was how natural it felt to fall asleep with Jay in her arms.

The hardest thing Olivia ever had to do was crawl out of bed the next morning and leave Jay behind. Jay had woken long enough to tell her to take the jeep again and to call her if she needed anything. Olivia had pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and quickly left to have a shower and dress. She raced out the door with 10 minutes to get to work and pulled into the underground car park with 2 minutes to spare. She walked into the squad room to find coffee and bagels on her desk. Looking around she noticed everyone else sipping on drinks. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it to find a message from Alex

I just had coffee and bagels delivered to my office. I swear if you do not marry that woman I will.

Olivia gaped and hurried to her desk where she found a note propped against her cup.

You forgot breakfast, be safe

Jay ;p

Smiling she sat down and opened a folder to review her notes for the case. Captain came out of his office, his own take away cup in hand and they rehashed the evidence, which was basically zero. Munch and Fin set off to find the pastor and to canvass the College the victims had attended.

Olivia took time out to review her case for court then headed down with Elliot. They met Alex in court and she appeared to be buzzing with energy. Wow, what a difference coffee and bagels made. Trevor Langon appeared and upon seeing Alex's attitude sighed, he was about to be creamed again.

He was right, Alex led them through their testimony well, objected strenuously in cross exam and made a brilliant closing speech. They were dead in the water. Olivia returned to the precinct after a light lunch with Alex who promised to call when the jury returned. 2 hours later as she was making phone calls her phone buzzed.

Guilty on all counts. Sentencing next week. Prob 25.

She quickly text back then informed Elliot of the verdict. He grinned and gave a thumbs up. Not long after Munch and Fin returned dejected. The pastor had preached to them about tolerance of one's preference but admitted he would prefer not to know the sexuality of his parishes, liking to believe they followed the bibles teachings. Olivia, with her budding relationship with Jay, couldn't help but roll her eyes. Elliot just shook his head. He was Catholic and lived by the bible but believed you loved who you loved. As long as it was mutual and you were happy.

The College had been little better, most people were tight lipped. All agreed the guys were nice guys, had no enemies other than the usual gay hating small minded morons but they were few and far between in college. It was after all, the age of experimentation. Olivia sighed, it was going to be a long day.

They ordered in pizza at 2000hrs after returning from once again canvassing the area near Central park and the victims neighbourhood. Nothing. Alex came to check on progress and to toss a few ideas out. Hence why Olivia and Elliot were sitting in an unmarked sedan near the main entrance to the park near midnight on a stakeout of the area. Olivia got bored with Elliot's questioning about Jay and decided to give the lovely lady a call.

Jay was sitting reading a good book in bed when her mobile rang and she recognised Olivia's personal ring tone. She had spent the day, once she finally got up at 0900, doing paperwork with a quick break to do some personal and grocery shopping. She had finished up the work at 2030 and put the money aside to bank tomorrow at some stage. She had then enjoyed a long soak in her Jacuzzi before coming to bed. She hadn't heard from Olivia all day and knew she would be busy. Now she grinned as she answered the phone

"Hey babe"

"Hey to you too, I hope I didn't wake you"

"Nah, just reading" Jay looked at the cover of her favourite Lesbian romance book "Still working huh"

"Yep, on a stake out for a few hours, prob wont finish until 3 or 4" Olivia admitted with a sigh "I'll just crash for a couple of hours in the crib"

"Why not come here?" Jay asked "It's only ten minutes at most"

"Jay I can't come visiting at 4. You'll be asleep. Tomorrow I'll try and finish up at a decent hour and come over" Olivia tipped her head back against the headrest and sighed, she was exhausted again. All she wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed next to jay. There, she did it again, calling Jays place home. She had to admit she felt more at home there than her own place. Was that due to the place or the owner?

"I'm sorry I'm turning into a whiner. I just miss you"

"I know, you too" Olivia admitted

"Really?" Jay sat up straighter in bed

"Yes Jay really" Olivia grinned then scowled at Elliot who clutched his hands to his chest and batted his eyes. She hit him and he yelped

"What was that?" Jay asked

"Elliot being an idiot" Olivia chuckled then sighed "I better go. I'll call you tomorrow"

"Ok, make sure you get some rest" Jay ordered

"I will. Night Jay"

"Night babe"

Olivia hung up and glared a Elliot who was making kissing sounds. She swore some days she wanted a new partner.

Jay hung up and put her book aside. Turning off her light she closed her eyes and hoped she dreamt of a certain brown eyed detective.

Olivia spent the next couple of days doing double shift with Elliot trying to find any sort of lead in the case. Nothing. Their nightly stake outs of the Park only heralded young elicit couples or people having affairs. They nabbed a tagger and a small time drug dealer, both of who they handed off to uniforms. She called Jay nightly to apologise and they spoke for a few minutes before they had to hang up. Jay was a trooper all through it stating she was busy too covering for a girl off sick at Jaydeez and doing all the paperwork. Every morning Olivia attended the station after going home to sleep a few hours to find coffees all round. Sometimes they had bagels, sometimes donuts and on Wednesday they had a big spread delivered, pancakes, hash browns, bacon and egg muffins the works. Even Alex was being fed and commenting she would have to start rolling into work soon and patted her still slim stomach.

By Friday Olivia was exhausted and missing Jay, she realised despite the fact that they hadn't been intimate, that Jay was becoming to mean a lot to her. More than Elliot, more than any relationship she had. She had maybe got 12 hours sleep the whole week and just wanted to spend tonight cuddling with Jay and then going to bed. They were at an absolute dead end with the case. She jumped when Cragen's door flew open

"Benson, Stabler go home. I just found out you've been pulling doubles all week. I don't want to see you until Monday at 7 unless we get a break. Munch, Fin you too but I want you in on Sunday to check out that church"

"Right on Cap" Fin agreed already packing up his stuff

"Who wants to go to O'Malley's?" Munch asked

"Count me in" Fin stated

"No way, Kathy would have my hide"

"Olivia?" Munch asked but the only answer he got was Olivia's retreating back as she hurried out of the squad room, cell phone already pressed to her ear.

Olivia growled frustrated when she got jay's voice mail for the 3rd time in twenty minutes. She was at her apartment and packing as many assorted clothes and accessories as she could into a travel bag. If she had the weekend off then she was going to enjoy it whether they stayed at home, went to the bar, or did some sightseeing. She didn't think she was being too presumptuous by packing a bag, something told her Jay wouldn't mind as she checked she had everything she needed, including bathers for that hot tub and headed out the door. Once at street level she hurried to the Jeep and threw the bag on the back seat. She had become more comfortable driving it, had actually come to quite like it as she drove it back towards jays. Parking in the underground car park she headed up the stairs to the apartment. Knocking she waited several seconds before knocking again. When no answer came she used the key on the key ring to unlock the door

"Hello? Jay?" she called and received no answer. Checking her watch she saw it was 1900hrs. Maybe Jay was downstairs still filling in for her sick worker. She closed the door and went to dump her bag in her room before wandering around the apartment to make sure jay wasn't there. She checked up on the roof but that was in darkness. Heading back downstairs she grabbed some fresh jeans and shirt and headed for a shower. After a power shower she did a bit of primping in the mirror, added boots to her outfit and grabbing apartment keys headed downstairs to the bar.

She entered the bar through the private door Jay had led her through a couple of weeks ago, she paused. Had it only been 2 weeks? Wow. She looked around the establishment, already half full as the sound of the jukebox playing and loud chatter assaulted her. Looking over to the bar she couldn't prevent the huge grin spreading across her face when she saw Jay behind the bar pouring drinks. She noticed Jay pause and scratch at her neck before her head shot up and flew around so their gazes collided. She chuckled as Jay quickly placed the glasses on the bar and ignoring the offered money ran. Olivia took a second to brace herself as Jay literally jumped into her arms.

"Whoa" she laughed and quickly cupped Jay's thighs as she wrapped her long legs around her waist "Guess that means you're happy to see me" she laughed into Jay's ear as Jay held her in a death grip around her neck.

"Of course I'm happy to see you, I've missed you" Jay pulled back and looked at her "You look exhausted, worse than last time"

"Thanks" Olivia muttered dryly

"Oh don't get me wrong babe, you still look stunning but I guess you've got little sleep this week" Jay told her as she let her legs slip to the ground, gently guided by Olivia.

"Not a lot no" Olivia cupped her face with a hand and told her earnestly "You're very beautiful too"

"Thanks" Jay grinned, then looked thoughtful "Have you eaten since breakfast?" she asked and rolled her eyes when Olivia shook her head. Taking Olivia's hand she led her over to the same booth they shared the last time she was here. Jay waited until she slid in before saying "Sit here, I'll get Julie to bring you a beer. I've gotta work unfortunately until midnight when we kick everyone into the club. I'll get the cook to make you something." She leant over the table and grabbed a small bar menu which she handed to Olivia "Kitchen's open for another hour. Tell Julie what you want OK"

"Ok" Olivia nodded

"Good" Jay leant down and kissed her cheek lightly "It's so good to see you. Is it too much to hope we've got tonight?"

"Whole weekend barring developments" Olivia grinned as she watched Jay's face come alive and laughed when that earned her another kiss.

"Great, then once you've eaten go upstairs and relax. Be in bed early so you get plenty of sleep. I want to go shopping tomorrow" she told Olivia who groaned good naturedly. Jay laughed and with a squeeze of her shoulder left.

Olivia turned her attention to the menu and could hear her stomach growl over the din. Chips, wedges, garlic bread, dimsims, Turkish bread and dips. You had toasted sandwiches, steak burgers, hamburgers, fish and chips, squid and chips, fisherman's delight, hotdogs, fried rice, lasagne, carbanara. For desert you could have ice creams, apple pie or pudding with custard and cream.

Julie came over then and delivered her beer and requested what she would like to eat, placing a table number on her table. Olivia was starving but didn't want to make herself sick by over indulging so ordered a steak sandwich with apple pie and ice cream for desert. Julie grinned at her and told her it wouldn't be long before hurrying away. Olivia relaxed back in her booth and spent time sipping on her beer while people watching. Although this was mostly known as a lesbian establishment she saw that there were a lot of everyday business women here too. Obviously they just wanted to relax in good company of friends without being hit on for the night. Olivia also noticed a few straight women who were there checking out what was on offer and grinned. That had been her until last fortnight. She wondered how she got so lucky to find Jay. She sighed as she finished her beer and turned her attention to the bar and to Jay. God she was so beautiful and young, what on earth did she see in an old burnt out cop like her? Olivia refused to feel self doubt, Jay knew her own mind and Olivia could honestly see the affection Jay had for her, affection she could see rapidly changing into more. The feeling was mutual too which did scare her a bit. Ok a lot. She knew it wasn't just lust and therefore owed Jay the truth about her past. Her mother's rape, how she came to be, her mother's alcoholism and the harsh words and violence she had grown up with. Then she had to come clean about her undercover work in a women's prison that left her with PTSD. It also left her fearing intimacy past first base. Olivia sighed, Jay was a trooper, a legend and slowly becoming her saviour. If she could handle all that and still wanted her she should be nominated for sainthood and Olivia knew she would probably be hooked for life. She looked up in time to see Jay hold up another bottle of Corona and realised she had finished her first. She nodded in agreement.

Jay delivered the beer and stole another kiss on the cheek at the same time. Olivia just shook her head at her antics and watched her walk away, her gaze drawn to the sway of her hips. Jay must have felt her stare because she paused, looked over her shoulder and wiggled her hips. Olivia just laughed and turned her attention to the DJ setting up for her hours gig. God she barely looked old enough to be in a bar. The kid saw her staring and wiggled her eyebrows. Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head just as a plate was placed in front of her and a delightful aroma hit her. Her eyes bugged when she saw the meal. Jesus, how was she supposed to eat all this?

A large steak sandwich consisting of a thick steak, onion, egg, lettuce, tomato and sauce was between two large pieces of Turkish bread. Fries littered the rest of the plate and a small garden salad in a bowl accompanied it. Shit.

"Wow" she told Julie "You may have to make that desert to go" Julie merely grinned and shrugged

"For the bosses lady no problems" and left Olivia gaping after her. Well she figured with the welcome Jay gave her tonight everyone knew she was the bosses lady. Turning back to her meal she wondered where to start so she picked up a chip while she contemplated the sandwich and groaned as it crunched. Nothing better than crispy chips. Taking the plunge she picked up half the sandwich carefully and bit into it. It melted in her mouth and she groaned. Nirvana.

Jay was ecstatic. Olivia was here, currently sitting in a booth devouring her meal like it was her last supper and looking gorgeous while she did it. Heat curled in Jay's stomach at the thought of having Olivia all to herself for the weekend. God she hoped Olivia's phone didn't ring, she had plans to steal her first kiss sometime this weekend, depending on the mood, circumstances and how skittish Olivia was. Jay was sure the kiss would be phenomenal.

She was busy serving drinks to a couple of regular patrons when she noticed AJ the young DJ standing talking to Olivia. Jay growled. AJ was their local womaniser who loved fresh meat and could smell it at thirty paces. She looked under aged but was in fact only a year younger than her. AJ had tried it on with her last year when she hired her and had been nonplussed when she had been rejected. Now she dared to try it with Olivia. She saw red and slammed the drinks down hard enough to have everyone in the vicinity stare at her then look in the direction she was glaring. All knew it didn't bode well for AJ. AJ chose that moment to lean over the table giving Olivia a clear view down the front of her shirt. Jay's ears steamed as she marched towards them but was brought up short by Olivia shaking her head and saying something to AJ that had the woman straightening quickly. Jay stood at the end of the bar as Olivia slid out of her seat and walked straight past the gaping AJ and towards her a determined look in her eye. Jay gulped as Olivia stopped in front of her, wrapped her right arm around her and pulled her tight to her side. She then leant down and whispered in her ear

"Cool down hot stuff, I'm only interested in you. You should know I gave her a good telling off and she will never approach me again" Olivia leant in and kissed her cheek "I fight my own battles Jay, I'm a big girl. I've been fighting off unwanted suitors since you were still in your diapers, I can handle it" and with that she let her go and headed towards the bar. Jay blinked stunned and slowly turned around to see Julie hand over a covered bowl to Olivia before she walked off towards the door that led back to her private residence. When Olivia was out of sight Jay shook her head to try and clear it and walked back towards the bar.

"Hey boss, you OK, you look a little stunned" Julie teased

"I think I'm in love" Jay was still slightly spaced out causing Julie to laugh and clap her on the back

"Ya think? I'm glad, she's a great woman. Common a few hours and then you can go get some loving" she teased and dodged Jay's hit directed at her arm.

Olivia made herself comfortable on the lounge to eat her desert, chuckling as she recalled the last few minutes. Serve that young woman right for trying to put the moves on her with such an atrocious pick up line. She had firmly put the young pup back in her place then declared she was the property of Jay. The young woman hadn't believed her hence her little show with Jay, who also had to be informed of a few matters. She thought she had handled the whole thing well. She grinned as she took a mouthful of desert then groaned, oh wow, this was good. She searched around for the remote to the TV and found a well worn dog eared book instead. She picked it up and looked at the front cover that showed Police tape stating Crime Scene across the front. Hmmm. She turned to look at the back to see the plot of the story and her brows raised in surprise. It was a lesbian love story. A 30 something homicide detective and a 20 something rookie cop with instinct and the makings of a good detective working together to catch a killer. Olivia was intrigued as she opened the book and started reading as she finished her desert. An hour later she was hooked on the book. To make things interesting the rookie Taylor, was a sports playing, short haired baby dyke who was out and proud. Uniform by day, jeans and shirt after hours, beer and burger style person. The detective, Brooke, was divorced, 2 young kids, living at home with her influential parents who hated she was a cop. She dressed classically and impeccably at all times and had a 'rich' air about her but wasn't snobbish unlike her parents. Brooke's parents hated Taylor, her kids loved her. Brookes parents were trying to get her date a rich doctor, Taylor had other plans for Brooke. The couple were sharing their first explosive kiss up against the wall in Taylors house, where Brooke had gone to find Taylor after she had caught her out on a date with the doctor, when Olivia just about cracked her jaw on a yawn. Seeing it was 2200 she stood and stretched and made her way to bed.

After using the facilities she made her way to her room where she changed into her night clothes and then paused. Did she dare? would Jay mind? she doubted it and mind made up she went.

Jay finished up downstairs. The last of the patrons had been pushed through into the nightclub area and she was leaving the running of that to its capable manager. She helped Julie and her other staff sweep floors, stack chairs and put glasses in the dishwasher. Restocking the fridge and changing kegs could wait until tomorrow morning. Olivia would help, she didn't seem to mind last time. With a last check to make sure all things were good they locked up, activated the alarm and left. She slowly made her way upstairs and smiled when she found Olivia had left a kitchen light on for her. She sighed as she kicked off her shoes at the door and made her way to the kitchen where she poured herself a cold glass of water and sculled it. Bed time, she was tired and wanted a good sleep before facing tomorrow and her plans for the weekend. She turned off the lights quietly tip toed down the hall, past Olivia's closed door. She noticed a dull light coming from her room, the door slightly ajar and smiled again. Olivia must have turned on a light for her so she wouldn't have to stumble in the dark. God that woman was incredible. She pushed open the door and came up short at the wonderful sight in front of her. Olivia was sleeping in her bed, the side she'd slept in on Sunday night, stretched on her stomach, one arm by her side, the other curled under her pillow. Oh wow. She quickly made her way to the bathroom and went about her toilet and changing into her boxers and t shirt before heading back to her bedroom and sliding gently into bed trying not to wake Olivia. As exciting as it was that she had the woman in her bed she knew Olivia really needed a good night of sleep. Unfortunately Olivia stirred just as she turned out the light

"Hmpf. 's dat u Jay?"

"Expecting someone else?" Jay teased and leant across and kissed her forehead "Go back to sleep"

"Oshkay" Olivia sighed "Don't mind?"

"Don't mind what?" Jay asked softly reaching out a gentle hand to sift Olivia's hair soothingly.

"Me being here"

"Sweetheart I don't mind at all, you're welcome here every night" Jay told her wondering if the seriousness of that would actually compute with Olivia. As it was there was such a long pause that Jay thought Olivia had gone back to sleep before Olivia whispered

"OK".

Jay grinned and remained silent until she heard Olivia snore softly. She kept playing with Olivia's hair until her eyes and arm grew heavy and she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Olivia woke early the next morning at 7. She realised though that she had had a good solid 9 hours sleep. She opened her eyes and turned her head to see Jay fast asleep next to her, mouth slightly open and breathing deeply. She looked adorable. She slipped quietly out of bed and made her way to the bathroom for her morning toilet before heading down to the kitchen to make herself a coffee and grabbed the book she had been reading and headed back to bed. She slid in gently and froze when Jay grumbled and rolled over but didn't wake. Grinning she sat in bed and continued to read from where she left off last night. She had just gotten to the good bit, the sex scene was hot and steamy and explicit and had her flushing when she realised she was being watched and quickly turned to meet green eyes. Jay grinned and arched an eyebrow, Olivia's flush deepened.

"Wow, that must be a good bit your reading. It wouldn't happen to be the incredibly hot sex scene would it?" Jay asked and Olivia couldn't help but squirm in her seat "Go back to the beginning and read it out loud" Jay instructed and Olivia gaped at her but seeing she was serious quickly flipped back a couple of pages and started to read. She read how Taylor had called Brooke a liar, denying her feelings, Brooke had tried to walk away, Taylor had grabbed her and Brooke snapped. She shoved Taylor against the wall and attacked her with her mouth. Soon positions were reversed and then they were tearing at each other's clothes until Brooke came screaming riding Taylors fingers and thigh against the wall. Taylor dragged her to bed where she performed Cunnalingis several times over until Brooke could barely move long enough for Taylor to come riding her thigh. Olivia continued to read still, aware of the raised temperature in the room and the tension between her and Jay. She read how Brooke had woken a while later to find Taylor holding her and waiting. Brooke hadn't run, instead she had returned the favour to Taylor, nervously at first but soon became more confidant. They stayed in bed all night and into the next morning when reality crashed down in the form of Brooke's parents.

Olivia would have continued to read but suddenly gasped in shock when Jay rolled over and above her and balancing on one arm gently prised the book away and placed it on the nightstand beside the bed. Olivia felt a fission of excitement slither down her spine and it felt like she had a fire in the pit of her stomach. Her chest felt heavy and Goosebumps broke out across her skin. Oh God. She looked into eyes that were almost black with desire, the pupils having swallowed the green irises and knew Jay was about to kiss her

"Jay"

"Shh, I'm going to kiss you Olivia Benson, I have to. Please?" Jay asked and Olivia could see she really was desperate to. It caused a sliver of fear but she refused to let it beat her

"Ok" she allowed "But can I be on top, I ah don't like feeling trapped" she whispered and watched Jay closely. Jay realised even in the depths of desire that this was important, that Olivia wanted this but was a little scared. Instantly her gut instinct told her something had happened to Olivia, something bad. Without hesitation she wrapped her arms around Olivia's back and rolled, grinning when Olivia gasped, until Olivia was laying above her and they were nose to nose. "Thankyou" Olivia whispered and Jay looked her deep in the eyes and told her

"Anytime" she raised a hand to cup her face "I'm seriously a little crazy about you Olivia, I'll do anything you ask, take it as slow as you want, I will never deliberately hurt you ever." Jay told her and felt Olivia relax

"Just a kiss, we need to talk, there are things..." Olivia paused when Jay shushed her with a finger to her lips. It sent a lightning pulse from her lips to between her thighs. She groaned.

"Just a kiss. As long or short, hard or soft, deep or tender as you want. You're in charge" Jay promised before removing her finger and waiting. The hardest thing she ever had to do was lay there and wait. Even with Dee she had been the aggressor, not that Dee wasn't aggressive but Dee loved the bottom, she enjoyed the top. Being submissive didn't come naturally to Jay but she had the feeling she would walk through hell for Olivia so laying still shouldn't be a problem. Her thought process was cut off as her brain short circuited at the first touch of gentle lips to hers. She nearly imploded and was stunned, even with Dee a simple kiss had never felt like this!

Olivia slowly lowered her head until her lips were mm above Jay's and paused uncertain. Was she doing the right thing, could she trust Jay? She looked into those beautiful green eyes and decided she already did, with her scarred body, broken soul and scarily enough her hesitant heart. She lowered her head those last couple of mm, wetting her lips quickly before she connected with smooth soft, yet firm lips. Electricity and heat flooded her body at the simple contact and hearing Jay's groan made her bolder as she prolonged the contact. Her lips hesitated then moved against Jay's, welcoming the returned pressure but no more. She could feel the tension in Jay's body but knew she wouldn't take control, knew she wouldn't hurt her as they continued to kiss for long seconds, lips closed pressure even, effect earth shattering. In all her 42 years she had never felt anything like it, her body felt more now than with her best climax with any previous partner. Wanting more she cupped Jay's face with one hand, keeping most of her weight off Jay with the other and slowly, gently opened her mouth. She felt Jay shudder beneath her and grinned, the woman was sexy and all hers. They continued to kiss for long minutes, Olivia kept the kiss light and tentative and she got used of the taste of Jay, the texture of her lips, her scent and the sounds she made. She was aware that Jay's arms were around her but felt no fear as they held her loosely. Soon though her lungs started to protest at not getting enough oxygen and her arm threatened to collapse under her own weight. She pulled away and smiled as Jay sighed. Green eyes popped open and stared into hers, slowly a grin spread across Jay's face

"Phenomenal" Jay sighed blissfully "I knew it would be"

"Yes" Olivia agreed and pressed her forehead against Jay's "Thankyou for being so understanding. I don't want to spoil the mood but I suggest we get up. There's so much I need to tell you, so much you need to know before we take this further"

Jay could tell she was serious and nodded letting Olivia slide off her and out of bed. Jay followed her out and quickly headed for her ensuite for her morning ritual. Upon returning to the bedroom she found the bed made and Olivia gone. Sighing she slowly chose what to wear and decided on black jeans and top before padding out into the living area in bare feet. Olivia was already in the kitchen making them a cup of tea and some toast. She took over the tea making and told Olivia she wanted her toast plain. Soon they were sitting on the couch side by side eating their breakfast, not a word between them. Jay could feel the tension coming off Olivia in waves and decided the best thing to do would be to remain silent. She wasn't surprised when Olivia stood and nervously began to pace. Jay watched her with her eyes, Olivia looked everywhere but at her.

"Ok, I'm going to tell you everything. Please just let me say it and when I am finished you can ask questions, kick me out whatever" she tried to act nonchalant saying the last but Jay could see how upset that thought made her. Jay knew that there was nothing Olivia could tell her to make her kick her out. So she remained quiet and waited.

"Ok. In early 1968 my mother, Serena Benson was a college student. She was heading home late one night after class when she was hit from behind and knocked out. She came to in an alley with a man on top of her raping her." The only sign off shock from Jay was the widening of her eyes as Olivia continued "She reported it but they never found her rapist. A few weeks later she realised she was pregnant" OMG, Jay knew what was going to be said next before Olivia could say it and her heart went out to her "I was born 8.5 months later" Olivia blew out a breath and breathed a little easier when those green eyes continued to gaze at her with adoration

"Only a select few know that. The guys, Alex, Kathy, George Huang our psych we use on cases, Casey Novak another ADA we had between Cabot, Melinda Warner the ME who did a reverse DNA for me and my brother who I found as a result of said test." Olivia paused wondering what to tell next "I have no idea why my mother chose to have me or to keep me. 90% of the time she was a mean drunk but when she was sober she was so loving. I was six when she told me how I came to be, I was too young to understand at the time but once I realised I felt worthless and she thrived on it. I was physically abused and have the scars to show it. I was 16 when I tried to get out, accepting a proposal from one of my mother's students. She found out and came at me with a broken bottle telling me if she couldn't have me no one else would. I kicked her in the stomach and she flew into a wall. I went over and kicked her a couple of more times before I realised that if I didn't stop and leave I would probably keep going until I killed her" she turned and was amazed to see no shock or horror in Jay's eyes. Only love and compassion. She swallowed hard.

"I only went back to the apartment when I knew she was gone or would be passed out. I attended a community college and applied for the Police Academy. I was recruited straight out of College. I was relieved that we stayed on campus and as soon as I was hired by the NYPD I moved into my apartment. I worked hard and rose in ranks quickly until I became a detective and requested to join the SVU team. They sent me to computer crimes and fraud first then transferred me in, where I have been ever since." She paused again and looked at Jay who was waiting for some sign to indicate she was finished. Unfortunately she wasn't and this was what was going to affect jay most.

"I've done many things in the line of duty, I've been stabbed, shot, punched you name it. I've been undercover to and probably will again for weeks on end where I won't be able to contact you and if I do see you will probably ignore you"

Jay nodded, she understood that and she continued to wait knowing there was more.

"About 2 years ago now I went undercover at a woman's prison. A male guard there was raping the inmates and we had to try and stop him. Just because the women were in gaol didn't give them any less rights. Fin went in too as a prison guard. From the moment I entered and a guard copped a feel patting me down I knew who our perp was but it was too hard to get word out to the crew. I held my own in prison with the women but I became a target to the guard. One night he came into my cell" she flinched as a memory hit her and she wrapped her arms around herself. Jay flew off the couch and hurried to her, sweeping her into her arms. Olivia held on tight as she continued in a quivering voice "He pinned me to the cot and started feeling me up. He had covered my mouth with his hand so I couldn't yell. He ripped my top and I guess he became distracted by the sight as I was able to knee him and shove him off. I ran and ended up in the boiler room. I knew instantly I had made a mistake when I saw the mattress and rope down there, he had manipulated it really leaving certain doors unlocked. He came in and made some comment about how I must really want him to be waiting for him. He beat the shit out of me with his nightstick, ripped my shirt off so I was bare from the waist up, pinned me too the wall and felt me over, roughly. He made sure it would hurt. I cried and screamed and begged. He slapped me and told me to shut up" she paused remembering the blows. Jay just held her firm and soothed her, letting her get it all out while seething inside. She would find out who he was and what punishment had been handed out. "He shoved his hands down my pants while he unbuckled his own pants and I knew I wasn't going to get out of this one. He surprised me when he shoved me to my knees put his cock in my face and ordered me to give him head. I refused and he hit me so hard I went dizzy. I refused him again and the next blow had me semi conscious. He was gearing up to rape me when Fin rushed in and knocked him out cold"

"Is he in gaol?"

"No, he made some story that I tried to escape and he caught me and that I was offering sexual favours not to be turned in. Not even my or Fin's testimony was enough. It was covered up basically. He just lost his job as a guard and currently works as a Security Guard at a mall"

Jay was furious but dared not show it as in Olivia's state she may confuse that anger as being directed at her. So instead she held the woman she was sure she was even more in love with now than earlier this morning and just let her cry. She swore she would do everything in her power to protect Olivia from now on and God help anyone that tried to hurt her. They stayed in each other's arms for long minutes before Jay led Olivia back to the couch and sunk onto it, pulling Olivia down beside her. Jay waited until she was sure Olivia was paying attention and stated

"I want you to know that it doesn't matter, none of it, not how it affects us or the way I see you. The circumstances of your birth are out of your control and you haven't let it control you other than in your chosen profession. You are not your drunken mother, you are not even like the male sperm donor who I refuse to call a father, he is not that. A father is a male figure that influences the way you were raised and you had none. Don't ever think that I would think you are anything like him. You are simply Olivia to me." Jay told her and smiled when Olivia snuggled closer, she guessed that was the right answer "As for your upbringing I wish I could have protected you, I'd do anything now to take away that pain but it has also made you the person you are today and I am falling in love with that person" she admitted looking down as Olivia looked up at her so she could see that love, that honesty in her eyes. Olivia's eyes teared up and she reached up and pulled her head down to hers so they shared a soft kiss.

"I'm falling in love with you too" Olivia offered and Jay's heart soared and she buried her head in Olivia's neck and sighed.

"As for what happened to you in that prison the only thing you need to know is that you are in charge of every step. For instance now that we have kissed I may initiate other kisses but you will control everything else, the length the depth everything Ok"

"Ok"

"We jump each hurdle as we get to it and if we stumble along the way we'll backtrack for a while and try again. I don't care if we don't make love for days, weeks, months or even years Olivia. I will never hurt you or force you to do more. I will never again be on top of you and I certainly won't pin you to a wall. I am happy being with you, I love just holding you like this and falling asleep beside you last night and waking up to you this morning rocked my world and I would be happy to do just that"

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked once again blown away with how incredible this woman was. This woman she loved and who loved her back.

"I would say 'try me' but you would probably do that and never discover how spectacular I am in bed" Jay teased which earned her a smack on the leg and they laughed, the mood lightening a little. Jay took one more moment to be serious and asked "Babe I am sure you didn't come out of that situation unscathed, besides the physical I mean"

"No. I suffered nightmares, still do occasionally and I was diagnosed with PTSD when I pulled my weapon on an unarmed suspect. I saw Huang for several months and was confined to a stint back in Computer Crimes until I was cleared" Olivia sighed and tilted her head back to look at Jay "I'm Ok now but I have to warn you if your around when I have nightmares don't try and wake me physically Ok, I could hurt you in my dreams and I would hate myself for that"

"Ok and I can guarantee I'll be around because as of tonight, anytime you are in my apartment you will be sleeping with me." Jay advised "In fact I suggest we go get your bags and I'll make room in my wardrobe and clean out a drawer for you. If that's Ok with you"

Olivia smiled, she had a fleeting voice in her brain telling her that it was too fast but she told it to shut the hell up as she stood up and offered her hand to Jay "That sounds awesome to me" she agreed and followed Jay where she went.

An hour later and Olivia officially had space in Jays room and a few of her items were besides Jays on the en suite bench. Jay had grinned at her on completion and pulled her in for another soft tender kiss before pulling away. The headed downstairs to the club where Olivia helped Jay clean glasses and restock shelves. They were nearly completed when Olivia's mobile went off. Olivia saw Jay tense, expecting it to be a call in but Olivia smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

"Hello?" she answered

"Yankee where the bloody hell are you?" boomed Abbie and Olivia grinned

"Out why? Where the bloody hell are you Tex?" she chuckled

"Knocking on your apartment door" Abbie grumbled and Olivia shot upright. She was what!

"Tex why are you knocking on my apartment door? In fact why are you in New York and not Washington? Is Miranda with you?" she asked and heard Abbie laugh.

"We landed a case in New York, I'm knocking on your door because I thought I could stay with you and we could sort out this identity crisis you were having, you never got back to me and no Miranda is not with me unfortunately." Abbie sighed.

Oh. Oh dear. Olivia looked at Jay who was watching with a curious brow raised. OK she needed to sort this out quick, she hadn't seen Tex in ages but she wanted to spent time with Jay.

"Yo Yankee are you there?" Abbie asked

"Yeah Tex, give me a second" Olivia told her then covering the mouthpiece told Jay "It's an old friend on the line. She used to be our relief ADA before we got Alex full time the first time. She works for the Feds in Washington but has caught a case here. She's currently at my apartment looking for a place to stay" Olivia gave her an apologetic look "Jay I haven't seen her in ages and she's the one who told me to come here 2 weeks ago"

That piqued Jays interest and she knew she just had to meet this woman and thank her personally. Looked like her plans to have Olivia to herself this weekend just flew out the window but the bonus was she had gotten her kiss and Olivia was sleeping in her bed.

"Tell her to come over, I want to meet her. She can have your old room" she told Olivia and saw the pleasant surprise register.

"Seriously?" Olivia asked, surprised and Jay nodded. Olivia beamed and cupping the back of her head pulled her in for a smacking kiss "You are wonderful"

"Yeah yeah, nominate me for girlfriend of the year" Jay rolled her eyes and swatted at her backside "Hurry up, you've still got work to do before she gets here"

"Yes master" Olivia laughed and turned back to the phone "Hey Tex"

"Oh, remembered I am here have you" Abbie grumbled, then chuckled "Have you been holding out on me Yankee?" she asked and Olivia was glad Abbie couldn't see her blush

"Err..."

"You have, you naughty girl. He or she?" Abbie asked and Olivia groaned

"Tex stop it, this is serious" she growled and Abbie's laughter stopped mid flow and Olivia could practically hear the wheels churning "Look you remember that place you told me about, Jaydeez? I need you to go there and then go around the corner to the North. There is a private entrance on the cross street, ring the buzzer and I will let you up. Bring your stuff" Olivia instructed "Gotta go, I'm stacking shelves, can't wait to see you and explain Ok"

"Yankee don't you dare hang up" Abbie growled. Olivia chuckled

"Bye Tex, see you soon" and hung up. She looked over at jay who was shaking her head at her antics. Olivia just shrugged "We have a weird friendship" she admitted.

They worked quickly to restock and then hurried upstairs to power shower and organise fresh sheets for Abbie's room. They were just checking Jay's supply of food and alcohol, which was lacking, when the buzzer rang downstairs. Olivia raced over and activated the camera Jay had shown her after the Stacey incident last weekend.

Abbie's frowning face looked back at her and Olivia couldn't help but grin as she pressed the intercom button. "Hey Tex, good to see you, wipe that frown off your face and get your ass up here, top floor" she laughed when Abbie pulled a finger at her with a grin and let herself in.

Olivia turned and looked at Jay who appeared nervous and was busy racing around making sure the apartment was presentable.

"Jay leave everything, the place looks fine" Olivia told her and stepped forward to grab her hand and pull her in for a hug. Jay sighed and snuggled close

"I don't know why I'm nervous. I was fine meeting Elliot." Jay gave her a last squeeze and stepped back "Ok I'm fine, I just hope she likes me"

"She'll love you. Who could not?" Olivia told her just as the doorbell rang. Olivia grinned and took Jays hand and led her to the door. She refused to let Jay's go and pulled the door open with a big grin "Hey Tex"

Abbie glared at her and punched her on the arm "You could have come help you know, you made me carry a suitcase up 3 flights of stairs on my own"

"Hell what type of cowgal would you be if you couldn't carry an itty bitty suitcase up some stairs" Olivia teased her then looked down at the suitcase in question and her eyes bugged "Hell Tex, planning to move in?"

"It's a two week trial, 3 defendants. I still gotta go back downstairs and get my briefcase" Abbie growled then grinned and opened her arms "Now get your ass over here and give me a hug"

Olivia grinned and letting Jay's hand go threw herself at her friend and they hugged tight for long seconds "It's so good to see you Tex"

"Likewise Yankee" Abbie pulled back and then looked over at Jay. An eyebrow shot up and she let out a low whistle. "Gosh Liv, you sure know how to pull them" Abbie teased then held her hand out to the lovely woman who was standing behind Olivia with a nervous look on her face "Hey I'm Abbie Carmichael. I've known Olivia here for what, 12 years Yankee?"

"Who knows, I gave up counting when I couldn't shake you after 8 seconds" Olivia shot back referring to the famous Texan pastime of bull riding. Abbie just rolled her eyes and turned back to Olivia's um friend.

Jay took the offered hand of the friendly woman, her head spinning at the byplay between the two.

"Jay Carlington" Jay offered and Abbie's mouth fell open in shock

"The Jay Carlington? Owner of the establishment downstairs and JD's Bar and Grill" she asked flabbergasted. Jay just grinned and shrugged. Olivia draped an arm over Jay's shoulder and Jay leant into her, wrapping her arm around Olivia's waist. Abbie's jaw about disconnected "Wow"

Olivia pressed a kiss to Jay's cheek and let her go "I'm just going to show Abbie to her room. I was thinking why don't you call Alex and invite her over later, tell her Abbie is in town and bring her bathers, we'll hit the hot tub"

"Hot tub?" Abbie shot to attention like Olivia had just offered up a slice of heaven

"Alright, I'll call her now then organise some lunch" Jay nodded, so much for a peaceful weekend. She watched as Olivia led Abbie down to the spare bedroom, knowing that they would be a few minutes as Abbie would undoubtedly grill Olivia. She quickly dialled the deli down the street and ordered in some sandwiches and some of their famous cheesecake and asked if they could deliver. They told her they would be about half an hour. Jay then dialled Alex's number

"Cabot" Alex answered and Jay rolled her eyes

"Carlington" she teased and heard Alex chuckle "Now Cabot, tell me, who's a drop dead gorgeous 6 foot Texan, with a smoky voice that you know?"

"You've seen Abbie? Where?" Alex asked, her preoccupation with a case file forgotten

"Hmm she's in my spare room interrogating Olivia as we speak"

"Abbie is in town? How long for?" Alex sounded rather excited

"A couple of weeks it sounded like. Big case on. We were hoping you could come over tonight. We are going to get drunk in the hot tub" Jay laughed

"Oh Wow, count me in" Alex groaned "No wait I have plans for tonight and they didn't count on being drunk"

"Oh? Nothing that you can't postpone"

"I wish I could but I can't disappoint Stacey" Alex sighed and Jay pulled her phone from her ear and stared at it in disbelief before returning it and asking

"Stacey? My Stacey"

"Hey don't be greedy. You can't have Olivia and Stacey" Alex teased "I'm trying to help Stacey out, she's in a hard situation. I also think she was unlawfully discharged. She could have easily gone into the training field but they discharged her without thought, you know her history. I'm trying to help her and keep her off the booze"

"Oh OK" Jay was unsure what to say after that "Look why don't you bring her here, it will be good for her and I'm sure once the others know they'll be happy to stick to fizzy drink"

"You sure?"

"You wanna see Tex or not?" Jay asked

"Fine, I'll call Stacey and let her know. See you at 6"

"Don't forget your togs now. Later Cabot"

"Ciao Carlington" and they hung up. Wow, it sure was going to be an interesting night. Jay then decided to head upstairs to the roof to turn on the hot tub. Maybe they'd have a cards night and play Texas Hold 'em she chuckled.

As soon as Olivia showed Abbie into the room the Texan closed the door, leant back against it and whistled

"Wow Yankee, when you put your mind to it you sure do go all out. Sexy, rich and young to boot" she grinned and Olivia felt her face flame but stared seriously at Abbie and told her

"I'm falling in love with her Abs, If I don't love her already" and saw the smile disappear off her friends face as she came forward and sat on the end of the bed and patted the mattress beside her.

"Come tell me everything"

Sighing Olivia made her way to the bed and sat next to her long time friend and started from scratch, how Jay's beauty just captivated her, how her personality warmed her, how well they engaged each other, how understanding Jay was. She told their whole story from go to woe. Abbie sat and listened before giving her friend a big hug.

"It sounds like you have found that perfect someone Liv, hold onto her OK. Everything else be damned, you deserve a private life." Abbie told her "If I hear you've fucked this up I will fly in from Washington and kick your ass OK"

"Get in line" Olivia told her "Both Elliot and his wife Kathy have threatened to disown me and even Alex told me if I didn't marry Jay she would when she kept us fed at the station"

"Alex would, she has an eye for the beauties" Abbie sighed and Olivia just about choked on her saliva as she stared at Abbie. Abbie looked at her incredulously "You didn't know?"

"Alex is gay? Straight as a dye, has political aspirations Alex?" Olivia shook her head

"Well it isn't well known but I would have thought she would have told you. She usually attends those word of mouth places for the high rollers, the ones who don't want the general public to know they're gay. Including your politician, movie stars, celebrities"

"Oh"

"I thought she was interested in you once but she told me that sadly, despite your butch image, you were straight"

"Butch image?" Olivia was affronted

"Oh when you had short short hair and the leather jacket you know" Abbie grinned "Every lesbian in the precinct and Court House thinks you're a wet dream"

"Oh my God" Olivia's face flamed and Abbie laughed as she stood "Common, I still have to get my briefcase. I've been very lax, there are some seriously confidential papers in there"

They strolled back out to the living area, finding Jay just coming back downstairs. Abbie hurried to get the briefcase and Olivia took the precious time to themselves to pull Jay in for a kiss. Hmmm now she'd tasted Jay's lips she was addicted. She told Jay so and chuckled when Jay groaned.

"Please don't say that when we have visitors. I just want to curl up with you all afternoon and have long kissing sessions" they held each other tighter at the thought "I called Alex" Jay said to distract herself "She's coming over and she's bringing Stacey"

"What?" Olivia pulled back to look at Jay in disbelief as Jay explained her conversation with Alex. Olivia just shook her head and groaned. Ok, just because Alex and Stacey were apparently both gay didn't mean they couldn't be friends. "So we gonna make a party of it?" she asked instead and was surprised when Jay shook her head

"No, I promised Alex no booze, she's trying to help Stace" Oh Ok. Well at least they had the hot tub Olivia thought. "I was thinking maybe we could play some Texas hold em" Jay grinned and Olivia had to laugh. Abbie came through the door then and raised her brows when catching them in an embrace. She cocked her head to the side when seeing their mirth

"What's so funny?" she asked coming towards them and putting the briefcase down "Should I be worried"

"Yeah we've decided we're going to play Texas Hold em tonight. Alex is coming over and bringing someone that she met through Jay"

"Alex has a girlfriend?" Abbie whistled

"They're friends" Jay told Abbie "Alex is helping Stacey out with an unfair discharge from the army"

"U huh" Abbie didn't believe a word of it. "So who else is coming?" Abbie asked "If I'm gonna take money from suckers I may as do it well. I owe Novak and Serena"

Olivia went to protest at having too many people over at once, especially people Jay didn't know. Poor woman was being a trooper. However Jay appeared curious and asked

"Who are they?"

"Oh Novak was the ADA they had after Cabot went into Witsec. Serena was my replacement when I left for Washington" Abbie told her "You'll like them both. Casey is straight but Serena is a lesbian"

"U huh" Jay deadpanned and Abbie grinned

"I'm gonna take my briefcase to my room and grab a quick shower if you don't mind. After economy class, the subway and a taxi ride I'm feeling a bit grubby" Abbie told them bending to pick up her briefcase again.

"Sure" Jay told her "Towels are in the cupboard in the bathroom. We'll call when lunch is here" Abbie flashed her grin and headed for the bedroom. Jay took Olivia's hands and led her to the couch where she slumped into a corner and pulled Olivia down next to her. Olivia looked at her apologetically

"I'm so sorry, Abbie gets a bit like that. She's a whirlwind. I don't know how Miranda handles her full time but then she's pretty much a bundle of energy too" Olivia sighed "We don't need to call Casey or Serena."

"Hmmm and when was the last time you saw or spoke to them?" Jay asked knowing what Olivia was like. Olivia immediately looked guilty and Jay rolled her eyes "You better call them then". Olivia grinned and leant in for a kiss

"Thank you, I swear I'll make it up to you"

"Hmmm, sounds promising" Jay grinned "I'll remember that when we finally get to bed, you owe me lots of loving kisses"

"Deal" Olivia said, giving her a quick one to seal the bargain. She made the call feeling guilty as both women seemed overly happy to hear from her and eagerly agreed to coming over, curious as to bringing the bathers and the address. Serena was familiar with Jaydeez and pumped her for information. She told both all would reveal itself when they got there. Soon after hanging up from Serena their lunch arrived and Olivia hollered for Abbie to hurry up through the bathroom door while Jay paid the delivery boy. They ate the assorted sandwiches before delighting over the cheesecake.

Olivia and Jay spent the afternoon preparing for their girls evening while Abbie locked herself away to do some case reviewing. Jay strolled downstairs and requested the cook provide a few plates of nibbles to start with at 5.30 then at 7.30 send up some heavier food for dinner. The cook asked if there was any special requests but Jay shook her head. She took several bottles of fizzy drinks from the bar, making sure she paid for them so the till balanced and headed back upstairs.

Meanwhile Olivia had done a run to her apartment for her poker chips and cards. She made a quick call to Alex who agreed to bring hers as well. Jay had asked if there were any personal items she wanted to bring back to the apartment and to feel free to do so. Olivia had been hesitant but on entering her bedroom she saw a photo of her and the guys and Casey taken a couple of years ago after winning a big case, another of her and Alex pre Witsec and a third with her and the Stabler kids last year at Christmas. They were just photos and Jay had said she could bring stuff.

She also took time out to search her study for her digital camera knowing tonight would be great photo opportunity night. Once she was sure she had everything she headed back to Jay's and upon opening the door found her girlfriend lying on the couch watching TV. She paused in the process of closing the door and stared at Jay.

"What?" Jay asked wondering why Olivia was staring at her like that. Did she have half her lunch on her face?

"You're my girlfriend" Olivia said in wonder and Jay laughed. Olivia blushed and shut the door

"I'd hope so" Jay teased and rolling to her feet came over to wrap her arms around Olivia's waist and leant in for a kiss. Olivia groaned and returned it, prolonging the contact and allowing it to become a little deeper and harder than any they had shared to date. By the time they pulled apart they were breathless and struggling to remain upright "Wow, your kisses should be declared illegal cause nothing that makes you feel that good is legal that I know of" Jay sighed and Olivia blushed. With a kiss to the tip of Olivia's nose Jay pulled away and looked down at the bag she was carrying while raising a querying brow. Olivia beamed and taking her hand led her back to the couch. They sat down and Olivia opened the bag, first pulling out the poker chips and then her camera. Jay grinned and waited as Olivia shyly pulled out her photos. Jay laughed at the one of her and Alex, they both looked so different now and what was Alex thinking with that fringe?

She sat and listened attentively as Olivia showed her the photo of her workmates next. They looked like a mismatched bunch but she knew they worked well together. At least she had a fair warning of what Casey looked like and would be able to tell her apart from Serena when first meeting. When Olivia showed her the picture of her and the Stabler kids she knew that had to go on display so that they could see it when they visited. She immediately got up and put all three in various positions on the entertainment unit, blended in with her photos. She paused when she saw her wedding picture with Dee and wondered if she should take it down now. She was with Olivia now and it didn't seem right, but she just didn't have the heart to move it. She was startled out of her revelry when two arms slid around her waist and she looked up into Olivia's understanding eyes

"It's Ok Jay, I understand she was a large part of your life and you loved her" Olivia kissed her forehead. "We'll get one taken of us tonight so we can put it up OK"

"Ok" Jay smiled "Thankyou"

"You're welcome" Olivia led her back to the couch "Now sit down. I want to snuggle with my girl for a couple of hours before everyone arrives"

Jay grinned and opened her arms, happy to oblige.

Casey arrived first, along with Julie who was bringing up the nibbles. Olivia hugged her friend hard and apologised for her tardiness before letting her greet Abbie. Olivia then took Jays hand and introduced her to Casey

"Casey this is my girlfriend Jay, Jay Casey"

Casey barely showed her shock at all, 5 years at SVU taught her to school her features. She smiled at Jay and then teasing Olivia asked Jay what she had done wrong to deserve being stuck with her. Olivia gave her a playful thump before they settled in the lounge. Jay helped Julie with the food and the intercom buzzed to announce Serena. Julie left as Serena entered and once again greetings were shared and introductions were made. Serena grinned at Olivia and welcomed her to the sisterhood. They all sat around the lounge hoeing into the food provided. The cook had outdone herself with wedges, chips, spring rolls, dim sims, and an assortment of sandwiches. Alex and Stacey arrived a little early at 5.50. Stacey stood back while Alex greeted all her friends, Jay took time to properly introduce Olivia to Stacey who apologised for the previous weekend. Olivia just shrugged, she'd heard it all before but she didn't want to appear rude so said it was fine. Jay picked up on the undercurrent though and hastily introduced Stacey to Casey and Serena. Olivia had to raise a surprised eyebrow when Stacey shook hands in greeting then slunk back to Alex.

As the hour wore on cool drinks, good food and conversation were shared. Jay had disappeared quickly upstairs to put the outdoor heaters on to take the evening chill off the patio and come back to snuggle on the couch next to Olivia. Abbie and Casey also squashed themselves onto the couch with Alex and Serena taking the armchairs and Stacey grabbing a chair from the dining room sat it down near Alex. Olivia, Casey, Abbie and Alex all told tales from work with Serena adding her two cents in every now and again. Stacey told of a few stories from her training days and pranks they pulled on each other to relieve tension overseas. Even Jay had a few humorous horror stories to tell about her business. They laughed so hard that their cheeks hurt and when Olivia broke out her camera many people protested but were soon hamming it up. It just went to show how much fun you could have sober. Olivia handed her camera over to Casey who was about the only person she trusted there to take a nice photo. She then pulled Jay onto her lap and they smiled at Casey's direction. Casey took several shots before she was satisfied then handed the camera back.

At 7.30 their dinner was delivered. There were more chips and wedges, salads, fried seafood, steak sandwiches, burgers and hot dogs that were cut in half to share and a bowl of pasta. Olivia's mouth watered. They decided to head upstairs to eat and carried the food up with drinks, plates and utensils. They sat around the large outdoor table, the April air warmed by the outdoor heaters and hoed in. Olivia helped herself to half a steak sandwich knowing it tasted divine. She also selected some pasta, more chips and a helping of salad. Jay took the other half to her sandwich but selected some wedges and some seafood.

There was small banter as they ate their meal, by the time they had finished there was little left. They cleared the table and headed downstairs to stack the dishwasher. Drinks were refilled, a few coffees were made and then it was back upstairs for the poker tournament. Chips were divvied out evenly and soon the game was on. It lasted an hour before Casey was knocked out and she sat back to watch. Jay was knocked out soon after and the two quickly turned their attention to the spa. Olivia found herself in somewhat of a dilemma. Try and win poker or sit in hot tub with Jay.

She looked at the other players and noticed Stacey, Alex and Abbie had the most chips on the table followed by her then Serena. Olivia looked at her hand and then the table, she was holding two pair. 5's and 10's. The bet for the next round came around and it was currently low, she met it and waited. Alex flipped another card, a 5 and with a full house her competitive juices flowed. She ended up taking half of Abbie's chips and grinned evilly.

It ended up with her and Stacey at the table while everyone else was in the hot tub. Neither one of them was giving an inch and Olivia was not about to. Finally Stacey threw her cards down and leaning forward braced her hands on the table.

"What's your beef with me Olivia?" she asked and Olivia merely raised a brow not giving anything away "I've apologised for last weekend"

"Yeah" Olivia nodded as she shuffled the cards.

"So?" Stacey asked a bewildered look on her face

"I don't believe you"

"You don't think I'm sorry?" Stacey asked affronted

"Oh I think you mean it now but I also know that if we had had alcohol here tonight we'd be carrying you to a spare room right now while you apologised again. Alcoholics always apologise once the booze runs out or when they are hung-over and want something" Olivia stated evenly remembering her own personal experience

"You think? What's to stop me from going downstairs right now?"

"Pride" Olivia stated "And the stash you are going to crack as soon as you get home" Olivia said and seeing the surprise flitter across Stacey face sighed. "I'm just warning you Stacey, Alex is my friend and I love her dearly. I know alcoholics think they have things under control, then they fall off the bandwagon. She thinks you're trying to stay sober, she thinks she's helping you. She has no clue you are drinking behind her back I'm sure" she watched the guilt spread across Stacey face "Jesus Stace, even Jay thinks you're just a social drinker who over indulges."

"You think you know everything, you think it's easy?"

"Fuck Stacey I know it's not easy. My mother was an alcoholic, I grew up as her personal punching bag, especially when I tried to hide the alcohol" Olivia stood and pushed all the chips at Stacey "Get yourself in a clinic or you'll end up dead like her" she growled and watched as Stacey showed a moment of real fear "Oh and Stacey you better tell Alex before I do."

'You would wouldn't you"

"Yes" Olivia nodded "I've watched you with Alex tonight. You like her and that scares me"

"Why?" Stacey asked

"Because I don't know if you're a happy sad or mean drunk. But I will tell you one thing, if you're the latter and you lay one finger on Alex that isn't wanted you will be swallowing the end of my handgun understood"

"Understood" Stacey nodded, if she hurt Alex she would be knocking on Olivia's door requesting it.

"Good, get help Stace, you could be a nice woman sober" and with that she left the table and headed downstairs to calm down.

Jay had been aware of the tense talk between Olivia and Stacey and wondered what it was about. Surely a little gamesmanship wasn't that serious. She watched as Olivia strolled to the stairs and out of sight, wondering if she should go after her when Stacey pushed her chair back and got up, face grave as she came over to the hot tub and placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. Alex who was laughing with Abbie looked up with a smile that soon fled. Everyone went quiet in the hot tub wondering what was going to happen.

"Hey" Alex asked "You OK? Where's Liv?"

"She um left for a bit, we had a few words" Stacey admitted "She kinda told me a few home truths, she recognised the signs I guess"

"Signs? What truths?" Alex was confused. Stacey sighed and reached into her pocket to pull out the mints she sucked on regularly. She hoped it hid her alcohol breath and it probably did for everyone bar Olivia who was probably sensitised to the smell for life.

"Mints? I don't get it" Alex said still clearly dumbfounded but jay was starting to catch on and didn't know whether to be pissed or sympathetic. Stacey was a full blown alcoholic, the idiot.

"They hide the alcohols smell Alex, I suck on them almost half hourly when I'm out and don't want people to know that I have a bottle of jacks waiting for me when I get home" Stacey looked down ashamed as Alex's face registered shock "I'm so sorry Alex but your too late with your intervention, I'm already alcohol dependant just to get up in the morning. I need help, more than you can give me, but I would like your support while I'm in rehab"

There was dead silence and Jay realised she definitely needed to go after Olivia now and hastily stood

"Where's Olivia?" she asked as she climbed out of the hot tub and grabbed a towel

"Gone for some quiet I think, she um told me more about her life than she planned I believe" Stacey told her and jay groaned, great. "She'll be OK, she's strong Jay" Stacey looked at Alex who still hadn't said a word, just looked at her, seemingly struggling herself with her anger. Stacey was furious with herself and realised right now if she had a drink she would probably scull it. Not good "Alex I'll understand if you don't want to see me now but I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I wanted to stop but I couldn't Alex, I couldn't. I've barely been sober since Mia died and I know she'd kick my ass for it."

Jay sighed, finally dry and still not sure what the hell was going on when Stacey next words stopped her dead in her tracks

"I like you Alex, really like you, I've had fun this week with you and I haven't felt like this since Mia and for a week's acquaintance that says a lot" Jay just stared at Stacey in shock, she what? "I know I'm not your type" Stacey continued "I'm an army has been, not a doctor or a lawyer or from old money but" she shrugged and Jay stared at Alex then who had just been nicely ousted. She wasn't the only one staring so she guessed she wasn't the only one not to know. "Dammit Alex would you say something?"

"I I don't know what to say" Alex stammered

"Geez, why don't I give you some hints. How about I'll support you Stacey, you're not a loser Stacey, I like you too Stacey, even just as a friend would be nice right now"

"I- Stacey I can't think right now, you've blown me away"

"It's simple Alex, will you support me through rehab or do I go downstairs right now for that jacks I'm dying for and keep drinking myself to death?"

Alex looked up at her with stricken eyes but couldn't seem to find her voice. Stacey sighed and rubbing the back of her head turned to walk to the door. Abbie gave Alex a nudge that seemed to shake her out of her catatonic state and she blinked. It took just a second to realise everything that Stacey had poured out to her and a half second to realise she had unwittingly throw it back in Stacey's face in her shock

"Wait" she cried and launched herself out of the hot tub. Stacey froze "Jesus Stacey wait please" she wrapped a towel around her body and hurried to where Stacey remained glued to the spot. She wasn't an idiot and Stacey was a good woman, no way was she letting her kill herself slowly. Jay could hear that Alex was talking but couldn't make out the words. She looked at her other guests and shrugged

"You guys stay in there. I'm gonna go find Liv. The nights still young. Once the drama settles we should get back to enjoying ourselves"

"Take your time" Abbie nodded "I aint going nowhere when I got these pretty ladies to entertain me" she grinned. Jay just rolled her eyes and headed for the door. She headed past the other couple who were in an embrace and cleared her throat

"Stacey that room you used last weekend is free if you need some privacy to talk. It's yours for tonight either way" she told them and hurried off to find Olivia. She found her in their room laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Olivia turned her head and looked at her with haunted eyes when she came in "Hey" Jay slid onto the bed next to her

"Hey, sorry to spoil the evening"

"Oh babe, you haven't spoilt it but you did miss one hell of an encore. Apparently Stacey likes Alex and it seems it's mutual"

"No" Olivia grinned "Ya think?"

"You knew" Jay frowned

"I suspected by their interactions tonight" Olivia shrugged " That's what caused my argument with Stacey. I warned her not to hurt Alex"

"Ah. Anyway they should be having a nice private discussion in the second spare room now?"

"Hmm is that what they call it?" Olivia chuckled and it earned her a slap

"Common our guests are still here, no point borrowing trouble, lets go and enjoy the weekend"

Olivia sighed and rolled off the bed, heading into the en suite she snagged her bathers and changed before using the facilities. She did a once over of her appearance before stepping out. Her body was tanned and toned nicely thanks to keeping fit through the job. You couldn't mistake it for a 20 year old but you could pass it off for at least half a dozen years younger than it was. As she stepped out into Jay's line of sight she watched her closely and grinned as Jay stared at her in adoration. She stood still and let those green eyes sweep over her body only covered by a very modest blue one piece. Finally those gorgeous eyes met her own and her knees about buckled at the love and desire that shone out at her from them

"You detective, are one hot dame" Jay breathed and Olivia grinned as she came forward and leant in to kiss her tenderly

"Straight back at you sweetheart" she whispered and then headed out of the room, swaying her lips saucily. Jay blinked then laughed hurrying after her. As they passed the closed door of the second room they heard Stacey's voice cry out from within

"Sweet Jesus, Alex!". Two wide startled pairs of eyes collided just as Alex's voice called

"Stacey, yes, Oh God inside"

Olivia covered her ears and quickly hurried away from the door, Jay, smothering giggles followed.

The night went on way past 2am. Without Stacey and Alex re appearing they decided to hit the alcohol and therefore Serena spent the night on the couch and Casey took the 4th spare room. The next morning a brunch was cooked by Jay. Things were a little awkward between Olivia and Stacey but not bad. Alex and Stacey took their leave soon after, Alex had gotten Stacey into an exclusive rehab centre and they were expecting her that night. Olivia suspected they were going to spend some quiet time before she had to go in. Serena and Casey thanked them for a great night and they too soon left which just left them and Abbie. Abbie decided she really needed to do some more work, no matter how much she wanted to socialise. Olivia and Jay decided they would go out and leave her in peace.

They went to a nearby mall and spent time walking around holding hands. Jay grinned when she pulled Olivia into a nearby bike shop and they looked at jackets and helmets. Jay ended up buying Olivia a black jacket with extra padding on the back and elbows, a black and red helmet and some gloves. Olivia protested but Jay shut her up with a warning look. Of course once the purchases were made Jay had to take her out for a spin on the bike, much to the jealousy of Abbie. Jay had to promise her a ride before she flew back to Washington before she would let them go.

They rode out of the city and then just aimlessly ambled through the suburbs until Olivia had to wrap on Jays helmet and tell her her bum was going numb. They pulled into a fast food eatery and got a burger and fries for an early tea and headed back to the apartment, stopping at another fast food outlet for Abbie nearby for her dinner.

Abbie devoured the meal and went right back to work. Olivia and Jay went to bed early, calling goodnight to Abbie. Olivia told her if she wanted a ride to the courthouse the next morning to be ready at 6.45. Abbie groaned but promised to be waiting.

Once snuggled in bed Olivia read more of the book while Jay started a new one. After a couple of chapters of the book Olivia was involved again. Brooke was telling Taylor it was a mistake and Taylor was doing everything in her power to change her mind. Brookes parents had invited the Doctor over for dinner and her kid's made his evening a misery. When an explanation was demanded they had told her they liked Taylor better and knew what gay was. They thought Taylor liked their mum and wanted her to get with Taylor. They also told Brooke a few home truths about her parents.

As that intriguing chapter came to an end Jay put her book aside and plucked her book from her fingertips. Olivia took one look at the desire in Jays eyes and all protest she would have made about finishing the book went out the window. The lights were turned off and rolling onto Jay Olivia went about kissing her deeply.

The following week progressed slowly for the SVU team. Another murdered couple were located in a car abandoned behind a gay club. A check of both their addresses located the same results as the first couple. Trashed apartments and spray painting. There were no links to the other couple, one worked in a cafe the other a bookstore. Neither had attended the college, neither were ex Christians or had ties to them, it was frustrating. Olivia was getting little sleep and what little she snatched was either at her apartment or the crib. A few texts to Jay and a 5 minute phone call nightly was what kept her going. Jay was being her usually legendary self, ensuring everyone ate breakfast, had their morning coffees and ate their dinner at night.

On Thursday two more bodies were found when someone had attended the station saying she hadn't heard from her brother in 3 weeks. She wouldn't have thought much of it but he was gay and in light of the recent murders she was worried. They had attended his address with her permission and forced the door. The rancid smell hit them immediately as did the buzz of flies. The couple were located in the basement. Olivia sighed, she wouldn't be seeing jay this weekend. As she comforted the sister she just wanted to cry herself, she missed Jay.

It was Sunday evening, everyone was tired and grouchy and totally stumped. Alex was sitting with them helping them go over all their evidence. They were piling over phone records, financials, lists of friends, autopsy results you name it hoping to find that one thing they had missed but nothing was jumping out at them. Olivia was starving and dying to call Jay but knew it was well before their allotted time. Sighing she dropped her head in her hands, her hearing picking up the sound of approaching footsteps but her brain not registering until a husky voice called

"Hey Guys miss me?" and her head snapped up on hearing Abbie's voice, what was she doing here? Her attention immediately shot from Abbie who she barely registered was holding a large box, to Jay who stood awkwardly behind her holding an esky. Olivia could only stare into green eyes as she took in the woman she knew in that instant she loved and drank in the sight of her. God she was more beautiful every day. She barely registered everyone greeting Abbie and only snapped out of her daze when Elliot stepped in to greet Jay and their gaze was broken. Immediately she stood and hastily walked towards Jay. She didn't even stop to think just walked up to Jay, pulled her into her arms and leant down to kiss her. After a surprised gasp Jay returned the kiss and the following embrace.

Elliot, Alex and Abbie watched grinning, Munch's jaw about hit his desk, Fin whistled softly and applauded silently and Don Cragen who had come out of his office to see what all the commotion was over rose a surprised brow. He instantly approved of the young woman who got the woman he thought of as a daughter, to react in such a way. She must be special.

Olivia soon realised she had just kissed Jay in front of the squad and at that moment in time didn't care. Jay was the woman she loved and she hadn't seen her in a week. Pulling back she spotted that everyone was staring at them but her focus was on Jay.

"Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing here?" she asked and watched as Jay rolled her eyes

"Tex said I was moping like a kid who'd lost her puppy and decided that since you all needed feeding that we should be the couriers" jay sighed "I tried to tell her it was a bad idea, that we hadn't really discussed me meeting the guys yet but, well you know Tex"

Olivia did and was extremely grateful to her friend. "I'm glad, I have missed you so much"

"Ditto." Jay laughed "Now how about introducing me to the crew"

Oh. Olivia pulled away from the embrace but kept a firm grip on the hand that wasn't holding the esky and turned to her colleagues

"Um everyone this is my girlfriend Jay. Jay this is the guys" Olivia looked at them "Jay is the one who's been feeding us for the last few weeks obviously"

The Captain came forward first and offered his hand which meant Olivia had to let go of her hand unfortunately. They shook and Don introduced himself. Jay was a little nervous meeting him, it was like meeting the father in law as she knew this was the only father figure Olivia had.

"It's a pleasure to meet you sir"

"Call me Don" the Captain grinned impressed. Beautiful, young, smart with impeccable manners. Considering she'd been feeding them for the last three weeks probably rich too, not that that mattered.

Munch came up next, Fin right behind. The shook hands with Jay before Munch looked over the top of his glasses at Olivia and told her "Nice catch"

"Shut your mouth fool before I shut it for you" Fin told him. He then turned to Jay "You planning on with holding our food all night?"

Jay just laughed and they moved over to the table where Abbie had already spread out a feast. There were several roast meals in containers as well as cups of soups each. Jay told everyone they couldn't always live on junk food and had gotten her chef to prepare it especially.

"Chef?" Don asked as he delighted in his country style beef and veggie soup. He looked at Olivia for clarification. Olivia swallowed her pumpkin soup and waved her spoon around dismissively.

"Jay owns the Jd's Bar and grill franchise" she told them and then tucked back into her soup grinning to herself when Don, Munch and Fin stared in awe. Don was now doubly impressed with the young lady.

"Wow what else do you own, half of Manhattan?' Munch joked and Jay shrugged

"I own Jaydeez, the women's only bar and nightclub on 52nd. Actually I own the whole building and live on the 3rd floor and use the roof as outdoor living equipped with a hot tub and lap pool. It's not bad is it Elliot?"

"Nope" Elliot stated as he licked his spoon clean of chicken noodle soup and dived on the roast lamb meal. Lamb, roast potatoes, pumpkin, carrots and peas. A quick search and he found gravy to pour on it. Before anyone could comment on how Elliot had seen it Jay continued as she sat down in a chair she had drawn near Olivia. She used one hand to hand out some fizzy drinks and juices while the other remained in firm contact with Olivia's thigh.

"I also own an estate out in the burbs I inherited from my grandmother. I'm rarely there because when I get away I go up to my cabin at the lakes in Androck County, across the lake from Alex's estate up there" she shot Alex a look "No Alex a ten bedroom 6 bathroom monstrosity cannot be called a Cabin, especially when it's made from brick and slates. Unlike my stone and wood cabin"

"Point taken but it's not really a cabin is it when it has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, large study, games room, theatre room and a gym" Alex shot back and Olivia stared at Jay

"You never told me that" she accused and had to chuckle when she could see everyone staring at Jay in awe

"Yeah" Elliot sulked "You only told me about your giant screen TV, Your ATV's, speed boat, jet skis and snow mobiles. Not to mention your SUV, jeep and that wicked bike" Elliot grinned

"geez Alex you better go check your stocks tomorrow, I think someone could rival you" Munch stirred the ADA who much to his surprise flipped him the bird as she ate a piece of pumpkin.

The banter continued throughout the meal, the crew taking time to get to know Jay and relax. Jay, much to Olivia's surprise and love, invited the whole squad up to the Cabin for the 4th July celebrations. Everyone immediately looked at Don who sighed and said he would look into it. Several other teams owed them including Homicide. He did state that Olivia could have the whole long weekend off regardless. Fin immediately told the Captain he and Munch would take the calls so the Stabler's could go too. Elliot grinned and gave him the thumbs up. Olivia beamed at Jay excited at the prospect. All that watched Olivia's interaction with jay were aware that what they had was serious and were glad, they had never seen Olivia so happy. Of course when Jay pulled out chocolate mud cake for desert it didn't hurt her cause either. Not long after Abbie and Jay took their leave. Jay told Cragen to stop working his team so hard, fresh people = better production. She then told him that when they caught the guy/s to let her know. Celebratory drinks and dinner would be on her at Jd's. He grinned and agreed shaking her hand again and hoping to see her soon.

However he took what she said under advisement, she was a successful business woman after all and at 2100 sent everyone home and not to be in until 0800. No one had to be told twice and hightailed it.

Olivia made it to Jays in less than 8 minutes. No later than 2115 she was letting herself in the door and a startled Jay sat upright on the couch, eyes wide. Olivia thought of jumping her there but decided to tease her instead and strolled past

"Dad's sent us home early, I have until 8 tomorrow morning. I'm going to bed. You coming?" she asked and laughed as Jay fumbled the remote and jumped the back of the couch to shoot after her. They spent a good hour in bed making out heavily. Olivia had allowed Jay to remove her top and also removed hers. Although Jay wasn't allowed to touch yet she was ecstatic that she got to look, and Olivia was happy to lay on her, naked chest to naked chest as they kissed. There was no doubting either's desire, they just had to take it slow due to Olivia's fears. Jay was a lot further forward in progress than she thought she would be and was happy with that. She didn't want to press for more and have things go backwards.

After some phenomenal kissing they slowly pulled apart and lay together in the dark. Olivia didn't make a move to redress so Jay didn't mention it and they fell asleep snug in each other's arms.

True to the killers form more bodies were found Monday in an alley near some dumpsters. The team were just stumped, they had no leads and the brass and the press were coming down hard. Extra detectives were sent from homicide to help but as suspected it led nowhere. It wasn't until Thursday that they got a break in the case. As they were sitting around reviewing evidence from the latest case a young woman entered looking uncertain. Upon talking to her a call was quickly made to Alex and Huang who came down to listen. The woman told of her ex boyfriend who had left her for a man. She had a neighbour who was a freak, obsessive compulsive when it came to a couple of things, cleaning, knives and her. He was angry at her ex because of what he did. She said she had spoken to him last night and he seemed fascinated with the cases. He hated 'faggots' and believed they all 'must die' especially her ex boyfriend. He had gone on to say he bet the mutilation of their dicks must have made them scream for mercy and hoped they died a slowly painful death, gurgling with their slit throats. She hadn't remembered how they died but had excused herself and gone into her apartment. She had been up all night reading everything she could about the case but hadn't found any mention about slit throats or mutilation. Although finding out they had been stabbed and her neighbours fascination with knives had convinced her to come forward.

Everyone was ecstatic, the mutilation and slit throats had been kept quiet. The fact about the spray paint on the wall had been too. Huang agreed that the man, Victor James, suited the profile. Alex was intrigued and approached a judge to compel a warrant. The Judge told her the evidence was thin but agreed anyway and they were soon knocking on Victors door. He asked who it was and they told him it was the Police. Before Olivia could blink there was a couple of loud explosions and something hit her hard in the chest, and she felt a sting in her left arm. The force of the projectiles threw her backwards and she only had a second to thank God she was wearing her vest when her head slammed against the opposite wall and she was knocked out cold. Fin, Munch and the uniforms stormed the apartment while Elliot checked on Olivia. He noticed her vest had taken one bullet right on her sternum, he winced, that was going to bruise. Her noticed blood on her left sleeve and called for a bus and called in the shooting, officer down gsw to the arm and a blow to the head, patient unconscious. He sighed, Oh boy Jay was going to be pissed.

Jay raced into the emergency room of the hospital and looked around wildly for Elliot. She heard her name being called from her left and looked over to see Don. She raced over and without thinking hugged him

"How is she?"

"Awake and annoyed. She wants to go interview the bastard. Elliot's in there now advising her that he's currently in surgery with slim chances" Don tentatively hugged the young woman back.

"He'll have slim chance when I get hold of him" Jay growled and pulled back from the hug "OH sorry"

"No need, we all feel the same" Don assured her. Jay had meant about the hug but if he wasn't complaining then she wouldn't clarify.

"Ok. What are Olivia's injuries?" Jay asked calmly trying to hold it all together, she needed to stay calm. Don looked at the young woman and could see her battle but knew the woman wasn't going anywhere. She was strong and could handle the truth.

"One bullet hit her vest, sternum height. That's badly bruised and will cause her discomfort for a week. The second bullet hit her in the arm, a through and through, it needed stitching and time for the muscle to heal, a couple of weeks. She fell back and hit her head though, has concussion and the doctors want her in overnight, she's refusing. She's pissed she missed the takedown" he grinned and Jay had to smile. That sounded like Olivia.

"Can I see her?"

"I'm sure Elliot will be out any second" Don looked up as Elliot rounded the corner "Here he is now"

Jay turned and looked at Elliot. She checked him over concerned he had been hurt as well but he appeared fine. She went over and he blinked in surprise when she hugged him hard.

"Are you Ok?" she asked him and he grinned

"Yep" he nodded "Common I'll show you in to Liv. She's pissed at me because I called you, she doesn't want you worried, or so she said" he stated and when Jay looked at him curiously he admitted "I think she's worried that you'll leave her. Life as a cop's partner isn't easy"

"Stupid woman" Jay growled and Elliot chuckled as he led her back and to the cubicle that held Olivia. They heard her before they saw her

"Get it through your thick head I am not staying, bring me my discharge papers" she yelled at an intern just as they rounded into the cubicle. She saw Jay and immediately became abashed "Um Hi". She was sitting up in bed with a hospital gown on over her pants. Her left arm in a sling and she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks and appeared woozy due to the head injury.

"You were saying?" Jay asked arms crossed and Olivia looked down and bit her lip

"If I stay with my partner and she watches me closely will you let me go?" Olivia asked and the intern looked startled before shooting a glance at jay and grinning

"You will have to wake her every couple of hours, for the next 48 hours. If she doesn't wake you need to call 911 and get her back here. She needs to drink plenty of fluids and take it easy for the next 2 weeks. The arm needs to be in that sling for the next 5 days. Make sure the wound doesn't get wet and clean and bandage daily. The nurse at the front desk will give you supplies. Get the stitches out in a week. Desk duty in 2 weeks, back to work when a doc clears her"

"Sure" Jay nodded and the intern hurriedly presented the discharge papers to Olivia who signed them with a flourish. The intern then handed Jay the scripts Olivia would need for pain meds

"Make sure Miss toughie takes them"

"Oh she'll take them" Jay glared at Olivia who swallowed hard. The intern chuckled, his terror patient had met her match and he quickly left. Elliot said he would go organise the scripts which he plucked out of Jays hand and left.

Jay stared at Olivia for a long time before walking over bending down and kissing her hard. Olivia groaned into the kiss before Jay pulled back and hit her on the good arm

"Ow. What was that for?" Olivia scowled

"That is for getting shot" Jay hit her again "That was for getting pissed at Elliot for calling me" she pinched then, hard making Olivia squeak "And that was thinking I'm some fish wife who can't handle being with a cop"

"Oh" was all Olivia could think to say

"Yeah Oh" Jay sighed then leant down and pressed her forehead to Olivia's "You scared the shit out of me Olivia Benson. I love you so much"

Olivia's heart melted and she raised her good arm so her hand cupped Jay's cheek "I love you too" and she pulled Jay in for a deep kiss. It wasn't until Elliot cleared his throat that they broke apart. He grinned at them and patted the wheelchair. Olivia groaned but when Jay glared she dutifully got into the thing and made no protest about being wheeled out. Olivia reached for Jays hand as she walked along beside her and upon entering the waiting room they found, Munch, Fin and Alex there. Alex hurried forward and hugged Olivia, glad she was OK. She then hugged Jay and told her if she needed any help babysitting the patient to give her a call. Jay thanked them all for their support as they wheeled Liv outside. Jay left Olivia with the crew as she raced off to get the SUV and pulled up at the entrance. Munch and Fin drooled over it while Elliot helped her get Olivia inside.

Jay turned to everyone and told them to come over and check on the patient anytime and told them how to find the private entrance. She also told them she expected to see them all at hers on Saturday night for the local derby between the Yankees and the Mets. No excuses she told Don, having been forewarned by Olivia previously that he skips these things. Alex gave her a hug and told her she would bring Stacey as she had her weekend pass. It would be a good first test. Jay grinned and nodded before saying goodbye to the rest of the crew and climbing into the driver's seat. She honked and waved and took her patient home.

Olivia found the 3 flights of stairs up to the apartment hard but soon collapsed on the couch. Jay went to the phone and called downstairs. She had been working the bar when she had been called about Olivia's shooting and her staff were concerned. After reassuring them she asked Julie if she could get the cook to do up a seafood delight for two, with a salad and garlic bread. Olivia who was listening felt her mouth water, it had been ages since she had eaten and it took more than being shot in the arm to stop her from eating. She doubted a shot to the stomach would.

Jay hung up and went back to sit near Olivia and asked what happened. Olivia told her the whole story from when the woman had come in to when Jay had walked in the hospital cubicle. Upon finishing Jay cupped her face and gave her a slow soft kiss

"I love you Olivia Benson and I forbid you to scare me like that again" she told the detective. Olivia frowned and went to object but Jay shushed her "Oh I know, that won't be the last time I race to that hospital, I know other times may be worse and I will handle it as long as you pull through"

Olivia sighed, this woman was amazing and she was so lucky. She leant forward and kissed Jay hard "I promise to try my hardest to always come back to you, hopefully safe and sound. I love you too Jay, more than I thought possible"

"Then that's all that matters" Jay grinned "Our love" she clarified when Olivia appeared confused "Everything else is a bonus"

Epilogue

Olivia got better, the perp died 2 days later and they found a pile of evidence to connect him to the murders, particually graphic photo evidence.

The guys came over on Saturday, Alex bought Stacey who was doing well.

They all made it out to the lake for the 4th of July. The Stabler kids loved it. They jet skied, boated, fished, and had a great time. Olivia and Jay finally made love that weekend, slow and tenderly and they had both cried afterwards overcome with emotion. By September Olivia had officially moved in with Jay and had sold her apartment. Jay gifted her the Jeep which she loved.

At Thanksgiving dinner at the Stabler's Jay had snuck off with Elliot and Don and told them as Olivia's brother and father of her heart it was only appropriate she ask them for permission to marry Olivia. Both men gave her a hug and big approval.

On Christmas eve Jay and Olivia were at the cabin. The Stabler's and Don were arriving the next day. Munch and Fin were catching over Christmas but she had strict instructions to call them tomorrow. Alex and Stacey were coming but staying at the Cabot estate. Jay had told Olivia to get gussied up tonight and she herself was wearing smart dress pants and blouse. She had a roaring fire going and a candlelit table for dinner. Olivia came into the room wearing slacks and a tight woollen jumper that Jay loved. Seeing the table she rose a brow but made no comment. Jay served the meal she had prepared, a lovely warm chicken salad.

Afterwards they sat on the couch in front of the fire sipping on expensive wine, beer just wouldn't cut it tonight. Finally after two glasses Jay turned to Olivia who looked back expectantly a nervous flutter in her stomach. Jay was up to something.

Jay cleared her throat and said

"Olivia Benson I love you more than any other person in this world, you complete me, make me incredibly happy and I can't imagine my life without you" she dug into her pants pocket and pulled out the ring box. She looked at the wide eyed woman in front of her and slid to her knees while opening the box to reveal a simple but beautiful engagement ring, one she had especially designed so Olivia could wear it to work. "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife Olivia. Will you marry me?"

Olivia didn't have to think twice "Yes" she whispered and held out her hand for Jay to slide the ring on. It fit perfectly, just like they did.

The End

(for now)