"Say, Zoey," Fin started, lazily lying on her stomach on her faithful smart-arsed Lugia's back. "We still haven't finished the score with Ruby and Sapph. We still haven't gone too far. If we stop flying towards Sinnoh right now, and turn back, I can contact Ruby with my pokegear, and arrange for us to battle. And it's only one o'clock right now."

"Yes," Zoey retorted. "Yes... we need to settle our competition. Now. Alter, turn back!"

"Same, Lugia!"

'Great,' Lugia sighed. 'Must we, Mistress Fin? I don't find it nessesary to continue your useless competition. Afterall, sewing and armwrestling? I don't find those nessesary.'

"This time, it's not going to be like that," Fin said to Lugia. She was now sitting between his neck and shoulders, arms hugging the base of his neck. "We're going to be battling with our pokemon. Lugia, you're going to be one of the pokemon on my team for sure."

'Fine,' Lugia sighed. 'I suppose Typhlosion is going to be joining the team, too?'

"Perhaps. I'm not sure. I'd use my Diamond team, if I could, but I don't find it fair to only use them and not use you guys, my SoulSilver team. You guys are mostly equal in strength, but they have better HP..."

Lugia nodded respectfully, nearly making Fin fall off. 'I see. As your pokemon, I fully respect your decision, then. Afterall, you're the one who caught me fairly without any foul play. And you even caught me with a pokeball that matched my colour scheme: silver, white, and blue―which, by the way, I greatly appreciate rather than the red-and-white ones that are better for Ho-Oh. Now, what will the team consist of, may I ask?'

Fin sighed; she still hadn't decided. "I still have not made up my mind. But right now, I'll just arrange the battle."

'Of course.'

She thought for a moment. "Say, Lugia, are you... jealous of Typhlosion?"

'What? Of course not!'

"Mm-hmm. I'll just keep on thinking that," Fin replied sarcastically.

"Finio, you should call Ruby now!" Zoey called. "We're about twenty minutes away from Slateport... just close enough to get a connection!"


Fin took out her pokegear (which was from her Pokemon SoulSilver game), and punched in a few numbers. The pokegear rang for a few annoying seconds, and then Ruby picked up.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Yo, Ruby," Fin replied. "Okay, as your ruined contest should be over by now, can we continue our competition? Except it's a one-on-one battle against each other. Three rounds. I'll explain the rest later, but can we?"

"Well..." he started reluctantly, but Sapph obviously heard what Fin said.

There was a crash, a few "Hey!"'s from Ruby, and a lot of "Gimme!"'s from Sapphire. Within a few minutes, Sapphire wrestled the pokegear from Ruby.

"Hells ya we accept!" she yelled into the pokegear, nearly making Fin drop the pokegear into the rapid currents of Route 134―and making her fairly deaf in her left ear. "You better not torchic out! We'll wait for you at Slateport, in front of the contest hall!"

Without another second to pass, Sapphire ended the call.

"Shit," Fin swore, rubbing her poor left ear. "Sapphire just made me half-deaf in my left ear!"

"And she made me one-thirds deaf in my right ear," Zoey moaned. "And I was like... five freakin' meter away!"

'You have no right to say that,' Lugia retorted. 'You can make anyone deaf within a twenty-hundred meter radius of your shrieking, Sherlock.'

"Why! Thank you," Zoey said, flattered. "And how do you know about Sherlock Holmes?"

'Please.' Lugia rolled his eyes. 'I've been alive for eons. What do you expect? I, along with a number of other legendaries, have watched human civilization develop. Our attention usually is on this universe, but we occasionally peek at other universes. Second to this universe would be yours, I suppose.'

"Okay..." Zoey thought for a moment. "But wait, didn't Arceus apparently create this world or something? So, logically, he was the first being in this universe, right?"

'Well, yes and no,' Lugia said, 'you must understand how Sinnoh was the fourth region to be discovered, yes?'

"Yeah..." Fin and Zoey said, "is there anything to that? It was the fourth region to be discovered, so what?"

'Let us just say that the Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn legendaries are much older than Arceus,' he simply said. 'There is a much stronger force than Arceus. The one with the DNA of every pokemon. The one whom lives on the island which everything started on―Mew. He's just too humble to admit it, and is letting Arceus―ah―play the role of God.'

"That is logical," Fin said. "And this is the first time you've been civil to Zoey, and vice-versa."

'Hmph. That was only because she doesn't know any common sense. To stick common sense into an idiot, you have to explain calmly and civilly to them so they can properly digest information.'

"WHAT?" Zoey shrieked at Lugia, making her poor Alter become temporarily deaf. "Did you just call me an idiot?"

'No. I just called you a flying flapjack,' Lugia replied rather sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 'And what are you going to do about it? I can still Aeroblast your bottom to the gloriously independant Unova region, far, far away from us, mind you.'

Zoey mumbled something about "Lugia being such a ridiculously smartass," and nearly hit Alter's head with the Bieber Branch in frustration, which made her lose grip of the Bieber Branch... and it disappeared through the dangerous rapids of Route 134.

"NOOOO!" Zoey cried, "MY BIEBER BRANCH!"

"Oh no..." Fin face-palmed. "Yo, Zoey, don't worry. We can always get another one. There are tons of Bieber Branches available in this world..."

"But... But..." Zoey stammered, which was uncharacteristic of her, "... that was my first Bieber Branch ever!"

"I understand. But really, dude," Fin said. "Do you not want to beat Ruby or Sapphire? Or would you rather be unworthy of the recently lost Bieber Branch and lose?"

As soon as Fin had said that, Zoey's eyes were ablazed. Fire could be seen burning ferociously.

"No way am I gonna let either of them win!" Zoey exclaimed. "As if I would! Plus, I'd probaly beat them flat with my team! Their pokemon are all, what, in the level 50s?"

"Well, Sapphire's sure are," Fin replied. "Ruby's team... it was never shown in the manga. But we both pretty much have level 100 teams... ish."

"What do you mean, 'ish'?"

"Three of my pokemon are sorta close to 100. The other half are 100."

"Oh. I only have one that isn't 100... but pretty darn close by 15 levels."

'Enough of your stupid boastings,' Lugia stated, 'we're just above Slateport.'

"Yeah, fine," Zoey reluctantly said, trying to think of a good diss.

'I dare you to try and get a good insult at me for once,' Lugia challenged. 'I'll give you one chance.'

Zoey thought for a moment, and remembered something. "Well, you're so fugly that when Barney saw you, he crapped his pants!"



'That's Mistress Fin's diss.'

"It is?" Fin asked, unknowing.

"Yeah, you said it in your sleep..." Zoey sweatdropped.

"Hey, look, we're here!"

Surely enough, Lugia and Alter landed in front of the Contest Hall of Slateport, nearly landing on Sapphire and Ruby, who'd been waiting for them.

"Where in the world did ya get that Lugia?" Sapphire yelled at Fin, rudely pointing at Lugia with her index finger.

'If you must point at me, at least do it in a respectful way so I'm not being provoked to Aeroblast you, little girl,' Lugia said, voice equally as rude as Sapphire's pointing.

"Yeah, what he said," Fin agreed. "And none of yo beeswax where I got him."

"None of my beeswax?"

"Anyways, who versus who and where're we gonna fight?"

"We'll let you two decide who you want to verse first," Ruby replied smoothly. "Three seperate matches, as you said. The Contest Hall agreed to lend us one of their rooms for three battles. Just don't destroy anything, or else someone's going to have to pay."

"I can pay whatever price," Fin said. "So, we can go all-out against each other."

"Oh, really?" Sapphire questioned. "So what if I ask for one billion dollars?"

"Done." Fin reached into her bag, and took out a handful of bills neatly wrapped up into a pile. "One billion dollars." She then put the stack of bills back into her bag, knowing Sapphire already had a good look.

"No way... she actually has a billion..."

"Not surprising." Ruby examined Mimi's pokeball, seeing if Mimi was in good condition. "Seniors Red, Yellow, and Crystal told me a bit about you guys. Everyone else apparently was unwilling to, or too scared. Blue, on the other hand... she's rather tricky to ask."

"Figures," Fin and Zoey said together. "But you know, they've yet to see us battle with our Pokemon."

Wanting to get to the battle, Fin and Zoey called Lugia and Alter back into their pokeballs, and went into the Contest Hall, Ruby and Sapphire showing them to the room.

"Okay, let's get to the rules and all first," Ruby said. "Six-on-six battle. It doesn't matter whether you have six or not. You're allowed to switch pokemon. After each battle, you can heal your pokemon, but cannot change your pokemon team. Understood? Good."

"First of all," Fin said rather formally, "Ruby versus Zoey, six-on-six. Second round is I, Fin, versus Sapphire, still six-on-six. The third round will be a team battle. Zoey and I versus Sapphire and Ruby, twelve-on-twelve or whatever it's called. Sound good? Great. NOW GO BEFORE I KICK YOUR JOLLY BUTTS WITH THE BIEBER BRANCH AND LUGIA'S AEROBLAST!"

I never knew there was a human that existed with a voice that loud other than Sapph... Ruby thought, ... I'm practically deaf now.

"C'mon, Toga!" Zoey exclaimed, throwing her Togetic's pokeball out onto the battlefield.

Unfortunately, she had thrown the pokeball with Toga too hard, making it miss the intended landing area of the middle of the battlefield. It hit Ruby's hat off, flying off with the decorative hat until it hit the wall... releasing Toga. Poor Toga was scared half to death from the 'ride,' and was, funnily enough with Ruby and Sapphire's expressions, wearing Ruby's hat.

"Hey! My hat!" Ruby cried, frantically running over to Toga to get his hat back, at the same time desperately trying to cover his large scar on the side of his forehead.

"Dude, what's the point of even hiding the scar?" Zoey asked. "We all know about it."

"What? How do you two know about it?" Ruby asked Fin and Zoey suspiciously, taking the hat off Toga and adjusting it onto his head, hiding the scar extremely effectively.

"We have our sources," Fin said. "Not tellin' anyone which sources, though. Right, Zoey-o?"

"Right, Finio!" Zoey agreed.

"Okay, then. Fine. Let's just end this battle," Ruby said.

"Well, Imma gonna win anyways." Zoey smirked.


It's pretty ironic of how wrong she is, Fin thought, too bad she's gonna have to swallow her pride when Ruby's beaten...

"Let's see about that." Ruby grabbed a pokeball and accurately aimed it at the battlefield. "Regardless of the effects of time, the coolness that this body encompasses never changes. Carrying with it the tough Intimidate, this is the Pokemon Mightyena, Nana!"

As if they'd rehearsed it millions of times before, Nana's pokeball released her. She landed gracefully onto the middle of the field.

It's really freaky how Nana has that super elegant composure 24/7...

"Tch. Still as girly as ever with pokemon," Sapphire groaned. "What's natural should stay natural..."

Ruby ignored her comment. He didn't seem to be taking Zoey seriously; he was fawning over Nana's 'coolness' more than anything.

"Ruby, you're gonna go down," Zoey swore. "Hard."

"AS IF RUBY'LL LOSE TO THE LIKES OF YOU!" Sapphire yelled. "He'll never lose to you! And you―" she turned to Fin, "―I WILL NEVER, I SIMPLY REFUSE TO, LOSE TO YOU!"

"Says the one who's practically weaker than prissy boy over there," Fin snorted. "My Pokemon can easily pwn yours and Ruby's. I feel sorry for them, 'cause they're all gonna get hurt badly."

"As if," Sapphire sneered. "Ruby's impossible to beat."

"Tsk, tsk. What about Red, Green, Blue, and maybe Yellow and a few other of the DexHolders?"

"... He'd be killed as fast as heck." she sweatdropped.


Sapphire shut up, and focused her attention to the battlefield, and Fin did the same.

"Nana, Leer!" Ruby commanded. "Then Take Down!"

"Metronome!" Zoey commanded fluently.

Before Nana could Leer or use Take Down, Toga had used Metronome.

"Heh, I doubt Metronome'd be a good move to use at all," said Sapphire, "Ruby's Pokemon don't have many good moves. I doubt Nana'd have a good move."

"You shouldn't say what you don't know, moron," Fin muttered, knowing fully well Sapphire could hear, "I'm surprised no one calls you a nutter."

"You motherfucki―"

"Shut the hell up," Fin interrupted, "I want to watch Ruby get pwned."

Sapph gritted her teeth, but stayed quiet, as she also wished to watch the battle, except for Zoey being the one losing.

Zoey grinned as a bright golden flecks of energy gathered around Toga's mouth, fully knowing which move of Nana's was going to be utilized.

"No..." Sapphire's jaw dropped, "... Nana has Hyperbeam?"

"Obviously," Fin scoffed.

Sapph glared at Fin, but stayed silent once more.

Why's she so silent? Fin wondered, I wonder if it's some form of PMSing...?

"Mwahahaha!" laughed Zoey rather evilly. "Toga, Hyperbeam, dude!"

"Togeetic!" Toga launched its killer Hyperbeam at Nana, who just couldn't dodge it.

"Nana!" Ruby gasped. "Are you alright?"

There was a rather pregnant silence, as the battlefield was covered with a dark cloud of... something. Toga was flying peacefully above the cloud, clearly saying Nana fainted.

"Probaly not okay," Zoey replied. "Fainted, I believe."

True to Zoey's word, the thick cloud started to clear up, revealing a fainted Nana.


"You could be talking about anyone when you're saying, 'that woman'," Fin said, pushing up her glasses in a slightly nerdy way. "You could be talking about me, Zoey, Ruby's mom, Winona, Flannery, Yellow, Blue... heck, you could be talking about some random off-the-street Trainer, for all I care. And was that really the best name you could come up with, little girl?"


"If you can beat a couple of level one―" Fin quickly stopped herself from saying anymore.

"A couple of level one Pokemon?" said Sapphire. "Hecks yeah I can beat those darn little guys easily! Really, level ones? That's as easy as hell!"

I meant to say level one-hundreds, Fin thought. But I don't think I should mention that...

Smart choice, Master Fin, Lugia agreed telepathically. I doubt that those two will find the fight fair game anymore if they found out.

No, really? came Fin's infamous sarcasm. GASP! Like, O.M.F.A.!

Please don't overuse your sarcasm... it hurts my head.

No, really? Fin asked, accidentally using sarcasm. The sarcasm just slipped out like a slippery bar of soap in a soapy pair of hands.

There was no reply. Fine. She huffed. Don't answer me when sarcasm accidentally came out...

"Hey, why aren't you saying anything?" Sapphire demanded angrily. "Aren't you going to reply?"

"Shut the heck up." Fin's concentration was almost completely in the battle. "... I want to know who's going to win." But I know it's going to be Zoey... but if Ruby still has Celebi, there's a slight chance of being screwed... badly... Okay, a HUGE chance... But Celebi was released after the Ruby and Sapphire arc, wasn't it?

"Fine," was Sapph's annoyed reply.

"So, who're you choosing next?" Zoey asked, seemingly innocent, but devising some wicked plan to one-hit K.O. all of Ruby's Pokemon.

"You'll find out soon enough," was Ruby's polite reply. He carefully selected a Pokemon from his belt. "Now, are you going to switch your Pokemon? Or will your Toga keep battling?"

"That's easy," Zoey said. "I'm going to switch."

Toga gave her a thankful look, as if she were afraid of dying in a fight with Zoey. I wonder if something frightening happened before? Fin asked herself, but pushed away the thought. Nah. There can't be anything more frightening than Justin Bieber's 'Baby' playing on repeat for hours and hours.

Fin sneaked a peek at Sapphire, and noticed she was intensely watching Ruby and Zoey. She was obviously able to see the Pokemon in each of the Poke Balls that were clipped onto Zoey's belt and Ruby's belt large and clear. Her eyebrows creased in frustration―a sure sign that Ruby was going to be beaten again, but she said nothing.

"Regardless of the effects of time, the―"

"WE GET THE POINT!" Zoey bellowed, causing a great deal of the hanging ceiling lights to shatter and fall in a shower of glass. "All that fancy schmancy introduction talk takes soo much time and is bloody KILLING me! Just zip it and let your Pokemon out already! Heck, you take too much time... I'll go first!"

Zoey, controlled by annoyance and impulse, plucked off a random Poke Ball on her belt and threw it expertly on the field, where a bright flash of fire burned and disappeared.

"GROUDON!" the massive Pokemon roared, as if to intimidate everyone around him. "GROU!"

"Wha―What?" said Sapphire intelligently. "WHAT? Groudon? Where in the name of that god-forsaken Arceus did that son of a gun get the freaking Groudon? Didn't it go back to sl―Mmmmph!"

Sapphire glared at Fin, who'd stuffed a fistful of TrailMix into her mouth rather unexpectedly. She swallowed them all in one large gulp, and started throwing nasty insults at Fin, who pleasantly ignored her. Eventually, Sapphire gave up, after punching Fin's right shoulder several times with all her might and not getting a single reaction.

"G-Gr-Gr-GROUDON?" Ruby exclaimed in surprise and shock. His expression clearly showed he almost peed his pants. No one noticed, however, and he was glad for that. Sapphire would never stop teasing him if she noticed.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Zoey asked, popping a small ball of chewing gum into her mouth... and started coughing. "Oh―SHOOT―Choking on a piece of gum! S.O.S.! !"

"Someone!" Fin panicked. "Call the ambulance! Call 9-1-1! Call the hospital! CALL SOMEONE PEOPLE AND STOP FRETTING OVER THAT GODDAMNED GROUDON!"

Groudon seemed thoroughly insulted by Fin's outburst; "goddamned Groudon"? Why, no one had even dared to call him such a vile name before! He did worry for his violently choking (crazy) Trainer, but she could wait. The other girl who was Zoey's supposed friend had to be handled with. Taught a few manners, the old fashioned way. All the Legendaries, including him, had to be taught the correct manners as soon as they hatched from their eggs! The girl had to be punished for such unladylike behaviour!

Groudon started stomping the shiny, sparkly magenta floor so hard that deep cracks started to appear, much to Ruby's distress. The whole Contest Hall started shaking tremendously, and perhaps all of Slateport included. Surprisingly enough, no Contest Hall workers ran into the room, nor did any visitors or Coordinators. In the middle of the ruckus, Zoey was shaken hard enough that the little gumball was coughed right out―and flew straight towards Groudon's eye. He howled in pain, glared at Zoey, and stopped stomping.

"What the freaking hell?" Sapph exclaimed. "This Groudon totally has anger management problems!"

"You have absolutely no right to say that!" Ruby, Fin, and Zoey all yelled at her.

"Pft, as if! But there's one good thing, at least: this guy sure knows how to reck a Contest Hall! He truly appreciates what's natural, not artificial!"

Everyone kindly ignored her, but Ruby was offended greatly.

Mistress Fin, said Lugia to Fin, did Groudon just cause a ruckus? I can't see the Contest Hall too clearly from the position in my Poke Ball, but I'm curious to know.

"He caused a ruckus, for sure," Fin whispered, picking up Lugia's opaque-from-the-outside Poke Ball, and showing him the ruined room. "Ruined the whole place."

Oh my, Lugia sighed. Legendaries were taught to be polite and obedient most of the time, unless they were battling or in danger. Not destroy a whole room... and possibly building. Arceus.

"I think I accidentally insulted him." Fin laughed nervously. "I was panicking at Zoey's choking, and I guess I insulted him unconsciously in the process."

There's still no such reason to destroy the place.

"Good point," Fin said, putting the Poke Ball back into place. She hopped down the stairs and walked towards Groudon confidently, not scared of the giant.

"Groudon! Grou, don, groudon," Groudon hissed.

"Lugia, translation... please?"

"'How dare you insult me, you filthy little human?'" Sapphire translated, obviously overjoyed to just say those words at Fin.

"Arceus, Sapphire. I asked LUGIA, not YOU! And Groudon, I didn't insult you on purpose!" Fin said. "And don't call me a 'filthy little human'! Trust me, I know way better insults than that. You should learn from the pros."

Zoey and Fin leaned on each others backs coolly, putting on funky-looking black sunglasses and crossing their arms.

"Groudon," he muttered, giving up. "... Groudon, groudon."

This time it was Lugia's turn to take the translation spotlight. He just said, "I give up... You two are seriously messed in the heads."

"Fine with us! Right, Zoey-o? That's a COMPLIMENT for us, you rainbowy, bloody, shower-faced, foul-smelling, grotesque-looking, dimwitted-tasting, godshittingmonkeypissing, uberly failure-like, stupified gem-sounding... ding-dong."

"GROU?" Groudon expressed his rage by swinging his tail and missing Fin's face by less than a millimetre. Fin, however, did not move or blink.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said dismissively. "Whatever. That was a compliment, you know."


In what world? Lugia translated.

"I'm too tired to explain..." Fin walked back up to her seat and sat down, yawning. "'m going to take a nap. 'Night."

They all sweatdropped, thinking, It's not even nighttime yet!

She lifted one leg up onto her seat and lied her forehead on her knee, instantly falling asleep. Everyone sweatdropped, wondering how she could be so tired and fall asleep so fast. After five minutes of pure rage, re-stomping to fix up the place, and nasty cursing at Fin (which only Sapph and Lugia could understand), Groudon finally calmed down by a considerable amount, enough so that he could battle.

"Arceus, Groudon. You really should get a girlfriend! No wonder you're acting so nasty. You must be jealous of everyone else falling for each other! Don't worry, I understand perfectly. Ol' Finio and me'll find ya the perfect gal!" Zoey grinned at the massive legendary, winking. "You'll fall in love in no time. Next thing you know, there will be little Groudons running all over the place!"

Groudon blushed so hard that the blush was evident even with a great deal of his body red. He was clearly embarrassed to hear such a thing, especially coming from his Trainer.

"Groudon grou grou groudon..."

He's saying, "Geez, I'm genderless, and you sound like what you humans call a mother!" Lugia told Zoey through his telepathy.

"Mwahahaha! It's UNDENIABLE, I am practically your MOTHER, even if you're a legendary! I don't care if you're genderless, Dittos are genderless too, and look at the Daycare! There are little eggs and babies EVERYWHERE because of Dittos!" She laughed like a maniac, insanity showing too clearly.

"Look who's been hitting the happy juice." Ruby sweatdropped. "Or the crazy juice, in this case."

"YO! PRISSY BOY, JUST CHOOSE YOUR POKEMON ALREADY!" Sapph yelled, making Ruby wince. Her voice was just inhumanly loud. It helped a bit that she had an odd accent―it made hearing her voice a bit less annoying―but all in all, it still was a miracle he hadn't gone permanently deaf yet.

"Okay, okay, geez," he said. Deciding to give up on the introductions, he chose Zuzu, his Swampert and threw the Poke Ball without a word.

"Hm... Good choice," Sapphire muttered, chewing one of the chocolate Pocky sticks she just bought from the Contest Hall vending machine. "It's the most basic rule of all... type advantages. But they work wonders sometimes..."

"Yo, Ruby!" said Zoey. "You really think a type advantage would help?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps not. Who knows, but all I know is that it might!" Ruby grinned, and suddenly a shower of sparkles and flowers fell elegantly down behind Ruby, making the perfect shoujo-manga background.

Sapphire started laughing uncontrollably. "So... So... SO GIRLY!" She laughed even harder, to the point that her stomach hurt. She held her stomach and continued laughing, tears starting to make a river. Eventually she stopped, but she had cried so many tears that the whole battle field was covered with water that was almost one metre deep. It was a joy for Swampert, being a Water Type, but Groudon groaned in discomfort, eyeing the salty liquid that covered both of his feet and a little of the base of his tail. For Zoey and Ruby, however, the water reached around their stomachs and chest.

"No, my clothes!" Ruby cried in horror and disgust. "They're ruined! I'll have to wash them and clean them and iron them all over again. And what's worse is that this is from Sapphire's body liquids! Ugh!"

"Suck it up, Princess!" Zoey shouted, swimming around. "It's not that bad! It's like swimming at the beach! ... Just don't drink any."

"Why would I even think about drinking this foul stuff!" Ruby asked, scandalized. "I mean... ew."


"Ooooh, Ruby, you just hit her nerve," Zoey tsked. "You're not supposed to do that to your beloved girlfriend... Or else you're gonna get dumped, man."

Fin suddenly woke up. She rubbed her eyes, and announced to everyone, "I'm hungry. I'm gonna get something to eat and drink and then come back. Continue on without me."

"LIKE HELL WE'D CARE IF YOU LEFT!" Sapphire yelled at Fin.

Fin halted, and then turned. She seemed to be in a bad mood. She eyed Sapphire, and then swung her right leg at Sapphire, stopping just next to Sapph's head. Sapphire was shocked. She never expected to be almost hit by Fin. The girl, crazy and insane as she was, didn't seem like the type to hurt others without reason.

"Anyone else want something?" Fin asked, lowering her leg.

"Fin, grab me a bite and something to drink too, will ya?" requested Zoey.

"A vegetable salad with low-fat dressing and some water, if you don't mind," Ruby said.

"I'll go get something for myself at McDonald's," Sapphire grumbled, and quickly ran out of the Contest Hall.

Fin shrugged, and walked out of the room calmly.

"What happened to her?" Ruby asked Zoey once Fin was gone.

She shrugged. "Probaly had a nightmare or something. She seems to be having a lot of them these days."

"Isn't she your friend? Shouldn't you care about that?"

"I do care, of course. I know she can handle it though. Plus, there isn't much one can do for another's nightmares."

"True enough."

They both shrugged, and continued on their battle.

After Zoey winning 5-1 (which at least preserved a little bit of Ruby's manly dignity), Fin had arrived with their food, ordered to-go straight from an expensive five-star restaurant.

"This is good salad," Ruby noted, taking a bite of a leafy vegetable covered with flavourful dressing and a bit of other sauces. "Even the water tastes high-class! I'm sure even my master would approve of eating this restaurant's foods."

Zoey drooled between bites of her gourmet pizza and sips of her sitrus juice. "This is impossibly good! Where'd you even get this stuff? No, more like, how expensive is this stuff?"

"₱15, 000," Fin answered.

Ruby and Zoey's jaws dropped in shock. Before they could say any more, however, Sapphire barged into the room, holding an extra-large Big Mac and a Jumbo Chocolate Tripleshake.

"Hey, ya'll. Miss me?" She bit her Big Mac and started chewing.

"Yeah," Fin said. "We missed you a lot."

"Heh. Great." She stopped and stared at their food, but then turned her attention back to her precious fast food.

When they were all done eating and full, they talked a bit.

"So who won?" Sapph asked.

Ruby froze. He knew she was gonna strangle him to death. Please tell my dad that I'm thankful for all the things he's done for me, he thought, and please tell mom that... well, I'm sorry for running away before.

Zoey and Fin, however, had no pity for Ruby, and were more than happy to answer Sapph's question. "Zoey did!"

"R-U-B-Y..." A dark, fury aura emitted from Sapph, and Ruby gulped. He was gonna die and he knew it. Unless Arceus was willing to save him from a horrid, pain-filled death.

You didn't have to knock him out unconscious, you know, Fin told Sapphire, feeling sympathy for the beaten lump of something that was Ruby.

"It's not like he's dead," Sapphire said with a concluding voice. "He'll live."

I feel sorry for you, Lugia said to Ruby telepathically. Hm. It seems painful. I'll heal you.

Lugia, despite not having any healing moves, granted Ruby a bit of his powers and healed him up so that he didn't feel too much pain anymore. Ruby groaned, and then stood up, still feeling weak, but better.

"What was that voice, anyways...?" he asked himself.

"What?" Sapph questioned. "How'd you―argh, nevermind. You boys are impossible."

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, LOSER," Fin said, giving Sapph the famous "L" sign.

"Heh, in your DREAMS!" Sapphire grinned.

"Oh yeah? Then I challenge you to an elbow-licking match!"

"You're ON."

Ruby watched with amusement as the two girls tried to lick their elbows but failed horribly. Fin was only an inch away from licking it, but Sapph was a few millimetres from it. Zoey tried to cheer for Fin, but found that her voice was drowned out by Fin and Sapphire's furocious battle cries.

I am... Zoey watched the two girls with awe. I am inspired once again by this world! ARCEUS, I just love the world of PokeSpe so much!

"HA! I'm closer to licking my elbow than you are!" Sapph cried in victory.

"Yeah? Well... Let's see who can do a bridge the fastest!" Fin exclaimed, hopping down to the battlefield. She didn't hesitate to bend her back backwards and reach her arms onto the ground before her head fell completely.

"Two point five seconds," Ruby said, holding a timer and clicking it. "Sapph, let's see you do it."

Sapphire jumped onto the field quite easily. She did the same as Fin had, except her form had collapsed within five seconds, while Fin was still in the bridge position.

"Three seconds," Ruby announced. "Fin wins by point five seconds."

"ARCEUSDAMMIT!" Sapphire yelled in anger. "That's it. You're. Going. Down."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"That doesn't even make a hell of a sense!"

"Precisely the point."

"Blegh! All the big words... THEY'RE BURNING MY BRAIN CELLS!"

"Yeah, yeah, let's get on with this thing," said Zoey.

"Agreed," said Ruby, putting away his watch.

"Wait," Sapph said, making them all halt and turn towards her, "it's a better idea to bring our battle outside."

"Why?" Zoey asked. "What, you afraid of little sparkly pink decorations?"

"No," Sapph growled, glaring at Zoey. "I don't keep all my Pokemon in Poke Balls. That and the space is too small for a few of them... got it? We can find a large, empty spot on the beach and have our battle there."

"You know, that's pretty smart of you, Sapph," Ruby said, nodding.

"What? Just because I don't like hard words, that doesn't mean I can't use my brain!"

"Pfft, she's finally actually using that peanut-for-a-brain." Fin and Zoey snickered.

"HEY! I HEARD THAT, Y'KNOW!" Sapph screamed, stomping out of the Contest Hall.

Of course, her two logical reasons were not the only ones for which she wanted to get out of the Contest Hall. Honestly, she really couldn't stand all the pink and frilly decorations in there. A few years ago, she would've loved it. Now... the stuff made her want to up-chuck.

The Slateport beach was packed. People and their towels and belongings crammed every bit of available space. It didn't help that it was summertime, either.

"Damn, it's crowded here!" Sapph cursed. "But of all days, why today?"

"Well, it's twenty-nine degrees celsius today," Ruby said. "It only makes sense that people would head to the beach to cool off."

"Say, why not use that island over there?" Zoey asked, pointing at a faraway island, which was within their reach.

Ruby squinted. "It seems like a pretty good location. Why not?"

"C'mon out, Gyrados!" Fin said, throwing a plain Poke Ball out into the water. A moment later, a shiny Gyrados appeared, and the Poke Ball flew back to Fin's grasp. She put it away.

Fin and Zoey got onto the Gyrados's back. After a few seconds, Ruby and Sapphire had not got on. The two girls finally turned to see what was going on, and they found the couple gaping at the shiny Gyrados, as if they were seeing a megalodon shark about to gulp them down.

"Well?" Fin demanded impatiently.

"It's... it's..." Ruby stopped. "BEATIFUL! Gorgeous beyond words... It's absolutely BREATHTAKING!"

"Sissy boy!" Sapph muttered. "What a digusting and grotesque description you just gave. You should be ashamed of yourself. That Gyrados is freaking BADASS! It must have killer battling skills and perfect everything!"

Fin's Gyrados looked flattered beyond words. She even went as far as batting her eyes, which came out looking a bit odd. Fin herself was pretty annoyed. "Okay, so Gyrados is amazing. Yes, I agree. BUT―"

"What are you waiting for? Flying Magikarps to start killing you with their almighty Splash attack?" Zoey yelled. She was definitely not the type to wait, much less for five minutes. She was starting to hyperventilate, which was not a good sign. It was lucky for them that she had happened to lose her Bieber Branch earlier that day.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Sapphire said angrily, but got onto the Gyrados anyway.

Ruby sighed and, with great difficulty, climbed onto Gyrados's back... with lots of Sapphire's help ("C'mon, Prissy Boy! Even you should be able to do this!")

The island was a perfectly large rectangle. It had plenty of space for a normal-sized battle field and extra space for others to watch from a safe enough distance. Ruby had taken out some white chalk dust and sprinkled it around the island to form the typical lines of a battle field. But what struck them odd was that no one else was on the patch of land. It was one of the perfect spots: a great amount of sunlight, waist-deep sapphire water, golden sand that was soft, and it was plenty near other islands and close enough to the beach.

"So," said Ruby, finishing off the last bit of his chalk dust, "let the battle... begin...?"

Fin and Sapphire, however, didn't need it. They had got to their places before Ruby even said anything, a fury look in their eyes. Clearly, both were thinking the same thing: I'm not going to lose. They weren't going to accept a tie. They weren't even going to accept it if even one of their Pokemon fainted. Zoey and Fin backed away, almost frightened to see what would happen.

Fin returned Gyrados back to its Poke Ball, and carefully selected another one. Sapph was the first to call her Pokemon out.

"Pilo! You're up!"

The Tropius flew down from the clouds in a blink of an eye, ready to battle. It was obvious that he was expecting to be called.

"So she's choosing Tropius," Ruby said. "It's so dirty! Its body is caked with mud and dried grass... I should groom it sometime!"

Everyone ignored Ruby (Sapph almost snapped when she heard that, however).

Fin threw her Poke Ball, which accidentally hit Tropius's face and made Fin's chosen Pokemon almost kiss the poor guy. "Uh... Sorry. Did I mention that I suck HORRIBLY at throwing stuff?"

Pilo was mortified. His body was frozen. Sapph had to shake him hard to make him realize he was about to battle.

"Glaceon!" Fin's Pokemon complained. Hey, what in the name of Mew's great fluffball was that for?

"Sorry," Fin apologized, sweatdropping. "Didn't mean to..."

"Glace," the Ice-Type huffed. Hopefully. Or else you're going to be a frozen Finsicle in the middle of the summer heat. Now doesn't that sound lovely? Ha-ha. 'Cause I'm having a BLAST being out here in the heat. An Ice-Type. In high temperatures. Great.

"Uh... Gorgeous," Fin said, thinking, How on Earth does Glaceon manage to say all that in only one word?

"You can understand him?" Sapphire asked, surprised.

"One of my Pokemon helps me with Pokemon language," Fin explained.

"Gla." Duh.

"It's... it's..." Ruby stammered. Everyone groaned. "BEAUTIFUL! That beautiful blue coat of fur... those mesmerizing sapphire pools... The elegance of its movement... Just... just... AMAZING!"

Sparkles appeared in his eyes and a flowery background sprung out of nowhere behind him.

"Glaceon, glace," Glaceon said, annoyed. What type of rubbish is this thing ranting on about? What an odd creature... I say we dissect itand see how the critter works.

"Now, now, no need to get... odd..."

"JUST GET ON WITH THE BATTLE! IMMA CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGEH!" Zoey bellowed, causing the island to rumble, the waves to get slightly violent, and even other islands to shake. Someone from one of the further ahead islands yelled, "Hey, what in the name of Arceus's great mama is happening?"

"I could've just sworn I heard someone yell, 'Gah! My speedo just came off!'" Sapph muttered, a look of disgust plastered onto her face. "Who the hell needs to be told that?"

"Ahem," said Fin. "We're in a battle, dude... SO SHUT YO YAP ABOUT MISSING SPEEDO―wait, WTF?"

A large wave of water suddenly overcame the island. Luckily enough, everyone grabbed a large rock and held on firmly (Pilo flew higher up into the air). When the wave disappeared, everyone was fine, albeit out of breath. Fin, however, was unlucky enough to get a speedo on her head.

"EEEEYAAAAAHHHH!" Fin shrieked, grabbing the speedo and flinging it far into the distance. "EWWW! SOMEONE HELP CLEANSE THIS GROSSINESS OF SPEEDO IN MY HAIR!"

Everyone sweatdropped at the sight of Fin flailing around, panicking and screaming.

"Oh no! My clothes are all ruined!" Ruby panicked, almost crying. "What should I do? The salt in the water will form crystals when the water dries! That will ruin the fabric of my clo―"

"Uh, Prissy Boy? Listen, we don't need to hear about your mindless rantings about your ruined clothes. So... Man up, will you?" Sapph said, annoyed. She squeezed her hair try and tied her hair up again.

"Is that how you treat your boyfriend?" Ruby asked, starting the waterworks. "Ever since we agreed on the contest, you've been treating me like an Arcanine!"

Zoey had an expression that clearly said, Oh, boy. Here it comes...

"Be a man, then you'll finally get some more of my respect..." Sapph muttered, and then she made her voice just barely audible. "But you gained my respect by confessing today. I won't forget."

"Hm? Pardon me, what did you say in that last bit?" Ruby asked, confused.

"Nothing! I said NOTHING, you heard NOTHING," Sapph answered quickly, blushing like heck.

Ruby pretended to not notice. "Really? Hm, I guess I was imagining things then." In his mind, though, he was happy-dancing at the fact that he gained a bit of respect from Sapphire. Of course, he wasn't just going to tell her that. She'd just deny she ever admitted it, like how Ruby did so with his confession. (Which, by the way, he was guilty about, thank you very much.)

"Aww..." Fin said, watching the scene. "You two are one of the cutest couples ever..."

Sapphire glared at her. "Ugh! How can you say something so―so―so disgusting?"

"It's not disgusting," Fin reasoned. "It's just sappy. Got a problem with that, bitch?"

"HELLS YEA I GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, SPINELESS BASTARD." Her face was red with anger and a fiery aura appeared from her.


Uh-oh, Fin thought. If we don't listen to Zoey now... who knows what'll happen to this world...

"Fine then!" Sapphire huffed. "Pilo! Aerial Ace!"

|Glaceon, dodge it and use Ice Shard," Fin commanded, trying to get her wet bangs out of her eyesight.

Glaceon took on a defensive stance, ready to dodge at any moment. However, Pilo was faster than normal. Just as he was about to reach the Ice-Type, Sapph yelled, "Magical Leaf!"

Glaceon's eyes widened as the attack came so fast. He was hit with an Aerial Ace soon after attacked by Magical Leaf. He glared at Fin.

"Of course!" Fin's eyes widened. "Pilo has the ability Chlorophyll, which increases his speed when the weather's particularly sunny!"

"What? He DOES?" Sapph asked. "...I didn't know."

Fin and Zoey both fell on the ground laughing, yelling, "BIGGEST FAIL EVER!" Sapphire had to punch Fin's jaw to make her stop laughing while Ruby just told Zoey to zip it. Fin wasn't the type to not repay favours, however. She punched Sapphire's jaw with equal strength easily.

Let's see, Fin thought, racking through her brains for type advantages. Pilo's a Grass-Type and a Flying-Type... which both are hugely disadvantaged against Flying-Types, if I'm correct. So... it's a double disadvantage for Pilo, right? But then again, with this heat and intense sun... For pete's sake, it's like Arceus actually WANTS us to lose! The nerve of that guy! Next time I meet him, I'll go and beat him up like the proper pinata he is!

"Glaceon, put Pilo in his proper place, if you don't mind... use Avalanche!"

"Glaceon," the Ice-Type proudly agreed. With the highest of honors.

"Pilo, ya know what t'do!" Sapphire yelled, pumping her fist into the air. "Beat 'em up good, ya know?"

Pilo was only more than happy to comply. Specks of golden energy started forming a bright yellow ball of energy. Just as he was about to fire off the SolarBeam, however, Glaceon had let out an Avalanche, continued by an Ice Beam.

The mist of sparkly snow that came from the sudden eruption of the Avalanche disappeared quickly, revealing a fainted Pilo. He was covered by a light layer of ice, much to Sapph's dismay.

"Hey! No fair, you got something to cool off with!" She wanted to say more, but her battling instincts didn't let her. Instead, she heaved up Pilo and set him somewhere off the battlefield for him to rest.

"Toro, you're up next!" Sapphire expertly threw the Poke Ball onto the battlefield, revealing the mighty Blaziken she was so proud of.

"BLAZE!" Toro roared magnificently, not affected by the heat at all.

"Glaceon, you're taking a rest. This heat's too much for you, but thanks for winning," Fin said, calling the Ice-Type back into his Poke Ball. "Staraptor, come out and join the party!"

"Staraptor! Star, starap, star!" What type of party is planned in this murderous heat?

"Suck it up like a MAN!" Fin replied, fire blazing in her eyes.

"STARAPTOR!" But that's the point: I'M NOT A MAN!

"Oh, well..." She bit her lip. "Uh... THEN SUCK IT UP LIKE THE FREAKING STARAPTOR YOU ARE!"

"Star..." Damn, can't find a loophole in that...

"Ya finished with yer chit-chat?" Sapphire asked, flashing off her killer fangs.

"Staraptor?" WTF is she a vampire?

"Use, uh, Fly!" Fin said, nodding to the sky.

"Star," Staraptor said, flying up. Fine.


"Blaziken!" The Blaziken shot a strong beam of fire towards Staraptor.

"Quick, Brave Bird!" Fin panicked.

"What's she thinking? That's CRAZY!" Zoey said, pulling her hair.

"Suicide," Ruby muttered, turning away. His eyes didn't need to be fouled any longer by this sight.

Everyone watched in amazement as the bird flew straight through the beam of fire and directly hit Toro before she had the chance to defend. A huge cloud of smoke exploded, causing everyone's eyesight to be blacked out.

"YES, FREAKING YES I SAY!" Sapph exclaimed in victory as soon as the smoke cleared, revealing a fainted Staraptor and a very much okay Toro.

The battle continued. Sapphire and her Toro won against Fin's Gyrados and ultimately lost against one blast of Lugia's Hydro Pump. With Lugia, Fin managed to win against Dono and Relo. Now, the two both had only two Pokemon left. Sapph had Rono and Walo, whereas Fin had Typlosion and a yet-to-be-revealed Pokemon. The air was thick and hard to breathe now. Every move counted for the two girls.

"Typhlosion, you're up!"

Typlosion quietly came out of his Poke Ball, albeit in a flashy manner (greeting everyone with an explosion of flames in the hot August weather).

"Walo, it's yer turn now!" Sapphire said, and a huge whale immediately appeared.

"Uh," said Fin intelligently, "How're we gonna fight him if he's... you know... IN THE WATER?"

She shrugged. "Just fight?"

"Okay. Sounds good," Fin said. "Typhlosion, Eruption!"

"Heh, that won't be very effective on a Water-Type, if ya didn't know the basics!" Sapph smirked.

Walo agreed, easily flicking the explosions of fiery rocks away into the waters.

"Ty... typlosion?" Uh... a little help please?

"Right," Fin said. "You know what you should do..."

"Typlo?" You mean THAT?


While Typlosion and Fin were having their chat, Sapph had ordered Walo to use Dive. She knew fully well that Typlosion had no chance of winning against her Water-Type, so she wanted to give Fin a chance.

But... why does it seem like it's one-hundred times harder to fight them? Sapph thought irritably, wiping away a trickle of sweat from her forehead. Must be the heat. It's got to be.

"Okay, so that's the plan―hey, wait... where'd the whale go to?" Fin asked.

"Before you cause a panic attack, Walo used Dive!" Sapphire said. "What, can't pay attention in a Pokemon battle?"

Fin ignored Sapph's comment and instead told Typlosion, "Quick, now's your chance!"

"TYPLOSION!" Typlosion said, gathering energy which was forming around his mouth in a green light.

"Wait, could that be―there's no way... a Fire-Type, with a Grass-Type move? No way..." Sapph started mutturing. "WALO, QUICK, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

The whale shot up from the water, causing a huge wave to come towards Typlosion. The Fire-Type, however, didn't miss a single beat when he shot a killer green beam at the water, aiming dead-on the whale.

"No, Walo!" Sapph panicked, wishing that she didn't have her superhuman senses for once.

Typlosion managed to hide behind a large rock which protected him from the massive wave before it hit him. He'd lost only a bit of HP, but he knew perfectly that Walo was a goner. Sure enough, when he came out of hiding, the whale had fainted, his body one-fourth on the island, the rest in the water (the whale even had sent a male Swimmer skipping on the water when his tail collided with the water surface).

"With only one hit..." Ruby muttered, taking out his PokeDex. He'd scanned all of Zoey's Pokemon, and much to his shock, found out that they were all in their hundreds or near-hundreds. He scanned most of Fin's Pokemon too, and found out that Fin's Pokemon all had high-damaging moves and equally high levels as Zoey's Pokemon. He didn't mind though, as he knew that the girls didn't play with any particular planning, which meant that there was a good chance to win.

Sapph glared angrily at Fin, taking out her last Poke Ball.

"Imma win this one!" Sapphire bellowed, throwing the Poke Ball. "Go, Rono!"

"Hey, Typlosion man," Fin said, taking out two Poke Balls. "You don't mind if I switch you, right?"

"Typlosion," Typlosion said, high-fiving Fin. Of course not. I want this battle done anyways. I'm getting tired of this.

"Right you are." Fin switched Typlosion with her last Pokemon, which was twice the size of herself. "Yo, Dialga. How're you doing after all that napping?"

"Dialga. Dial, dialga," the Time Pokemon said pleasantly. Quite well, thanks. Perfect day to whip some splendid buttockses, no?

"Damn right it is!" Fin agreed. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Is tha-that... Dialga?" Sapph and Ruby both stammered in shock.

"No, it must be a Ditto nicknamed Dialga in the form of the Legendary," Sapph said, panicking.



Doesn't she always use improper language? Lugia asked, still weak from his battle.

"No, I meant when her words start ending in 'h''s when spelt out." Fin sweatdropped.

I see...

"Rono, Iron Defense and Aerial Ace!" Sapph commanded.

"Dragon Claw, please," Fin said.


After they'd healed their Pokemon, they all got back to the island, ready for their next fight. They soon found out, however, that it mostly a one-sided fight, as Fin and Zoey each chose one of their Legendaries to fight with: Dialga and Groudon. Sapph and Ruby had been KO'd in no time ("A record-breaking one minute!" a nearby Swimmer exclaimed).

"No, why?" Sapph cried out.

"Sapph, look at your PokeDex..." Ruby said, sending his PokeDex data into Sapphire's.

The blue-eyed girl stared blankly at the screen before erupting into flames.


"We sure escaped just in time." Fin grinned at her friend, nodding towards Slateport City which was starting to explode and erupt into flames. "We'd be goners there with all that fire, haha."

"Ah, let that PMSing bitch do what she wants," Zoey said, and then cried out to the heavens,"NOW, TOWARDS HAUGHTYSHIPPING LAND! (A.K.A., Sinnoh.)"

Alter, surprised by her Trainer's sudden burst, lost balance and Zoey fell off.

Lugia sighed. This is going to be a lo-o-ong journey...


Sooo, sorry for not uploading sooner, but I just kept on getting writer's block on this chapter... but I made it pretty darn long for all of you... so I hope you guys can accept this as an apology... hides from all the murderous glares of readers* Ahaha... Hey, it's 9, 000+ words! *screams* BROKE MY RECORD OF CHAPTER TENNNNN! FREAKING YESSSSSS! *gets shot*

Oh, and also: Blame my discovery of how awesome the Shinsengumi were... and the anime and manga featuring them. I really recommend reading the manga Kaze Hikaru! It's a shoujo manga with a great plot. I laughed my ass off the whole time I read its currently-available chapters. I really recommend it! (To girls AND guys! Don't mind that it's a shoujo manga, it still has shounen features... heck, I thought it was a shounen manga before I checked the genres! ... And the humor is seriously inhuman. I nearly died of laughing!)

Oh yeah, to the anonymous reviewer with no name (literally): Ah, gomenasai... but I was on my hiatus when you posted your review... I needed one due to the excessive amount of homework I was getting from my teachers for before-summer work (summer break begins from June 30 to September 6 or something for my current school). I'm really happy you like this fic! But please do keep in mind that SS19 and I will NEVER discontinue this series (till it's finished)! I really am sorry I couldn't post this chapter any sooner though... I was having this massive writer's block on this, and I kept getting migraines (because I suck at describing battle scenes). But I do hope this chapter is OK enough for your standards...