The fabulous, sensational Songster beta'd.
You all know who owns Twilight.
Between this and the last chapter, I happily welcomed a bunch of new readers. If someone pimped me out there, thank you so much whoever you are MWAH!
Sooo… where were we?
Ah yes, our lovebirds fell asleep and Bella held his… she held the…held him there.
Little Green and Easybella cont. (37)
I wake up from a dreamless sleep, feeling like I closed my eyes mere seconds ago. But it's already daylight, so it must have been a few good hours. However, neither of us seems to have moved one bit; everything is like I remember it was when I fell asleep. Well, everything except for one thing – either my fingers have shrunk, or…
That nether land between sleeping and awaking is a curious place. I'm still dreaming, very intensely so, but at the same time I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm dreaming. In this state, it is always possible to willingly wake up, should the dream take a not so pleasant turn. And it is equally easy to slip back into a light slumber and resume dreaming, should I be eager for a sequel. Sometimes, if I'm really lucky, I can even take control of my dreams in that short time window before becoming fully alert, almost like a movie director.
Today, I'd really like to stay a bit longer in these current visions and feelings of dream-me making love to dream-Bella, intensified by the sensation of real Bella's hand wrapped around my very real morning erection. In my sleep-drugged head, I wonder how she can even maintain such a steady grip on me with all our thrusting. Until I realize in that small conscious spot of my mind that it's just my dream-hips moving, while in reality we're both asleep and lying still.
I really want this dream to last. But I'm not that lucky this morning. The sudden appearance of a huge, black-haired man standing in the open door of my bedroom and watching our love-making threatens to ruin my bliss. I push the uncalled-for image away, trying to scratch his character from my dream script, but to no avail. If anything, my efforts cause his shape to grow more solid and sharper. And when the lucid part of me feels Bella's hand slip away, leaving me cold and throbbing in the real world, I take the last resort.
I order myself to wake up.
The visions of naked skin and sweet beads of sweat dissipate, and so does the disturbing presence of ex-husband asshole. I open my eyes to make him disappear quicker; they connect with warm brown irises right in front of me.
Real Bella. My Bella.
Not his anymore..
"Hi," she says softly and smiles at me.
Mine. Not his.
I pull her close and hitch my leg around her waist. With my hands cradling her face, I kiss her forehead, her brows and her cheeks. I shower her with happy, little pecks, keeping my lips closed but my eyes open, to reassure myself that she is…
…here, filling up all my senses – I smell, feel, hear, watch her. As undemanding as my kissing is, the sensation of my hard penis pressing against her skin has my hips rolling and grinding without my volition. And as always, her body is answering.
When my mouth meets hers, she dips her tongue between my lips. I open up all too willingly, and rake my fingers through her sleep-tangled hair. With our kiss deepening, jumpstarting that sweet rollercoaster in my stomach, the last flicker of my dream comes to nothing. Time stops. This is just now, just here… just us.
My penis is leaking with arousal; the moisture spreads between our bodies, making the friction maddeningly smooth along the tip. I can't stop the grinding. I want to get up, fetch a condom and make love to her… I want to be inside her so badly, come inside her. But I can't bring myself to stop. I can't even break the kiss. Putting any distance between us, if only for one second, is unthinkable right now. I can't let go.
But Bella pulls back. With one last lick across my bottom lip, she pulls back and looks at me with hooded eyes from under her lashes. While I still hold her beautiful face in my palms, she slides her hand back down between us, and I let go a whimpering sound when her touch hits home.
Her grip is tight, yet her fingers around the base of my penis feel like velvet. She gives a single, slow stroke, and I jerk my hips and cry out. I want to apologize, but her eyes that are glued to mine light up, telling me she liked that.
She licks her lips. Those lips… God, I know what those lips can do; I know what they can do to me. And the sight of her tongue wetting them, leaving them lush and glistening, makes the heat inside me explode and spread through my entire body like a liquid.
She strokes me once more, almost burning me alive. "I want you in my mouth," she whispers, and all I can manage for an answer is exhaling a shuddering breath. Her words are both my salvation and my undoing; I feel as though I'm suffocating with want.
"Let go of my face, baby. Let me go down on you."
Fuck. Yes. Please. God.
My mind has melted into that blissful state of chaos Bella's touch so often ignites, a turmoil of floating thoughts and images. No anchors. Just a powerful swell of desire. I don't even know how to order my limbs to move. But my hands fall from her face all on their own at her command.
We don't break eye contact as she scoots down, shoving the thick comforter out of the way and off the bed. My breath is loud and labored, with quiet moans escaping every time I exhale. She positions herself between my legs and crouches down on her knees, with the perfect curves of her behind poking up. My insides tense at the sight, coiling into a tight spring.
She looks at me over the swollen tip of my throbbing erection. Her warm breath fanning over it is almost too much to endure, when she says, "Can you give me a little warning? Tell me when you're about to come, okay?"
I really don't know if I can do what she's asking, but I nod my head yes anyway, frantically. I just want this… make love to her mouth; I want this so bad. A warning – I can do that, yes, just… please…
She lowers her head, and licks me, just once, slowly, from base to tip.
"Coming…" I cry.
"Are we okay, Bella?"
"Of course we are. All lovers have fights from time to time. And you had every reason to be mad."
He gives a low, unconvinced hum, as if he doesn't quite agree. The sound vibrates through his body, tickling my cheek where my face is resting on his abdomen. His boxers are gone; not willing to leave the bed, I threw them to the floor after I'd used them to clean him up. Now I indulge in lazily raking my fingertips through the short curls of his pubes.
His hand, that's been stroking the hairline in the nape of my neck, stills. "But I don't want to fight with you. I hated it."
I turn my head to meet his eye. "Maybe we should just avoid being in my bathroom together," I suggest jokingly. "It seems every time we're having a real drama, we're in my bathroom."
He looks at me as if I have lost my mind. "Bella, I don't think bathrooms have anything to do with that."
I sigh; my feeble attempt at being funny is totally lost on him. I turn my entire body around, so my other cheek comes to lie on his stomach, and say, "You're right. It's just a room."
He keeps looking at me, that Little Green signature frown in full force. It's kind of adorable, and I can hardly hold back the smile, as I reach out and stroke his cheek. His lips turn into the indication of a pout.
"That was a joke, right?" he asks and squints his eyes.
"Uh-huh, I tried." I bite my lip to suppress a grin, but to no avail.
He shakes his head. "Oh man…"
"Never mind," I giggle. "It wasn't the best joke anyway."
"Yeah." He scratches his scalp. "You do have a point though. What if we stay here in my bed all day? Just to prevent drama?"
I playfully punch his midriff, and he doubles over with a breathless chuckle. "Ow!"
"Nice one, Edward."
His eyes light up. "Really? It was funny, yes?"
Aw, you sweet man…
"Yup, very funny. And quite cheeky, too."
"Thanks," he says proudly.
Jacob is still there when I open the door to my apartment; of course he is. I'm a little ashamed of myself at the disappointment I feel. What kind of friend does it make me, secretly wishing to avoid the inconvenience of talking to him, hearing him out? Until he made his sudden re-appearance, I hadn't realized how thoroughly I had scratched him from my life already, in just a few days. What does that say about the relationship we had?
And now it even bothers me that he's here. I'm no longer mad at him for the spectacular entrance he made, but damn, I can't help it – his presence is annoying, and I selfishly hope we can get this over with quickly.
Jacob rises from the couch as I enter the living room with Little Green in tow. Edward simply refused to stay behind and let me meet my ex-husband alone. I didn't argue much, and he promised to not interfere, as long as Jacob didn't "overstep", as he put it. He even agreed to retreat into another room to give us some privacy, in case I asked him to. For me, that was good enough. For Jake? We'll see, I guess.
"Hey Jake," I say, way more chipper than I feel. "Slept well?"
"I… yes, thank you." Jake's eyes snap from me to Edward and back; he looks uncharacteristically remorseful. "Uhm, I made coffee," he adds.
"Oh, we already had some." I force a smile onto my face.
Jake starts fidgeting a little, and in the silence that follows, I realize that he expected me to greet him with a hug, like we always did. But that idea didn't even cross my mind. I didn't even step close enough for a handshake – that would have been awkward anyway. Instead I just stopped in the middle of the room to say "Hey, Jake". Which is kind of awkward, too, come to think of it. But I don't feel any urge to touch him at all.
Edward chooses this moment to step past me and extend a hand towards Jake. "Hello," he says calmly. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself yesterday. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Jacob."
For a moment, I'm quite sure I heard him say, 'I'm Edward Cullen. You're the asshole', but that's probably my puzzled mind, playing tricks on me.
Jake takes the offered hand like in trance. Edward closes his fingers around Jake's and gives a brief tug that might or might not pass for a handshake. Then he pulls his hand back as if he burnt it and takes a step back.
"Edward," Jake mumbles, and I can almost see the wheels turning. "You're the Cullen kid? You are… Bells, is he the one you…?"
"Jake!" I gasp at his unbelievable rudeness. "I think the term you're looking for is 'nice to meet you, Edward'!"
"Yeah, of course. Sorry, man, I'm just surprised is all. We never met, I think?"
No, you didn't, dammit! And surprised, my ass! You never wanted to meet the astonishing boy I looked after almost every fucking day and couldn't stop talking about. Because you never cared and you never listened. And you never ever -
"I am the one." Edward says, nothing more. But it's enough to interrupt my inner rant and keep me from working myself up any further.
I cast a glance at him, trying to figure out his feelings. He doesn't seem to be angry or nervous, but it's hard to tell. From where I stand, I can only see his profile, but I could swear that his eyes are fixated on Jake's, and I think my jaw just dropped for a moment.
Before Jake or I can muster any response, Little Green turns to me and asks, "Do you want me to give you some privacy now?"
I smile at him and nod my head yes – I better get this over with, given that Jake seems to have lost his manners and his mind altogether. Or maybe he never had good manners to begin with, but either way, I'll let him say what he needs to say now, then goodbye and out of here.
Edward spins on his heel but then hesitates. Turning back to me, he puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in for a kiss on the cheek. With a sideway glance to Jacob – yes, he meets his eyes indeed – he makes sure Jake didn't miss this; then he heads for the kitchen. Of course, he leaves the door ajar, demonstrating his personal understanding of "privacy" as far as ex-husbands are concerned.
With a sigh, I walk over to the couch, awkwardly favoring my injured heel, which doesn't go unnoticed by Jake. He reaches for my arm as if to steady me, but I wave him off and motion for him to sit back down instead. I take a seat on the couch as well, an arm's length away from him, and put my hands in my lap. Taking a few deep breaths, I collect myself. Then I look up at him.
"I'm really sorry about your foot, Bells."
"Jake," I say, without even acknowledging his lame apology, "why are you here?"
"I didn't know where else to go. You're my only friend!" he almost whines.
"Is that so? I remember you texting me about how many new friends you've made in Seattle." It surprises me how hard it is to keep the acid out of my voice.
"They're all Seth's friends actually. And Seth and I were fighting, so those guys would have been precious little help, don't you think?"
Well, that kind of makes sense. I nod in understanding.
"Besides," he adds, "they're all out and proud and shit, and that was the whole point of our argument."
I raise a brow at him. "I also remember you texting me that you came out, too. This is a wee bit confusing actually..."
Jake starts fidgeting uncomfortably. "Yeah, well... I am. With Seth's friends, of course. They all know about us. And when we go out, at the gay bars and such, no problem. But now Seth wants me to come out to my dad as well. My dad, Bella! Can you even imagine?"
"I figure that won't be exactly an easy thing to do."
He huffs. "Most definitely not!"
"So you refused."
"I've been avoiding that discussion for weeks, and it was fine until now. It wasn't that important, you know. We were just fine, but then..."
"Well, Seth… he… he proposed to me."
Wow! I'm rendered speechless for a moment; I certainly didn't expect something like that. Also, I instantly pity Seth, because being in love with Jake really sucks – I just don't think he has it in him to return the sentiment. For all I know now, Jake is a selfish bastard who can't really help himself. Of course, I keep those thoughts to myself. I might be wrong about that after all. As much as the idea hurts, maybe it was just me he couldn't love.
"That is… kinda big, Jake."
"I know. It was incredible. He had a ring and flowers and everything. He scared the shit outta me when he got down on one knee and..." he trails off, shaking his head.
"What did you say?" I ask softly. All bitchiness has left me.
He shakes his head once more. Then he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, and hides his face in his hands.
"I ran," he says in defeat.
"Oh no, you didn't!" I exclaim. At the same time, a mumbled "asshole" can be heard coming from the kitchen. I would laugh at Little Green's comment, if I wasn't so nonplussed by Jake's admission.
"You really left Seth sitting there…"
"On one knee, yes."
"…and ran to your ex-wife, of all people?"
"Not proud of it, ok? I didn't know what else to do."
"No, you didn't," I mutter under my breath. "You never did."
The silence stretches awkwardly as I wait for Jake to take his hands off of his face eventually. When he does, he looks utterly crestfallen.
"You're an asshole," I declare, almost expecting Edward to break into applause in the kitchen. But no clapping sound emerges.
"I know," Jake says.
"You could just have been honest and said no."
"But that's the point, Bells. I think I would have said yes. I love him!"
I bite my tongue. This is not the time for sarcasm. And this is not about me. "Then why the hell did you run?"
"Uh… the coming-out-to-my-dad thing, remember? I can't possibly marry without telling him."
"So you're an asshole and a coward."
"Don't you dare fuck-Bella me, Jake. If you and Seth are that serious and you want that sort of commitment, you really should grow a pair and stand for who you are and what you believe in. Seth deserves that much, don't you think? Holy shit, the guy asked you to marry him! Besides, I truly believe Billy won't eat you. You're his only son and he loves you."
"I know, but…"
"But what? Oh – is it the other guys in the reservation? Is that what you're worried about? What they will think of you? Maybe you'd be surprised. And even if they don't understand, what do you even care? You turned your back on the rez anyway, didn't you? You don't live there anymore."
"No, I don't," he replies, a little fight returning to his voice. "But my dad does. And it will be embarrassing for him, if…"
"He'll live," I cut in. "You cannot run away from that decision for ever. You left that place for a reason. You left it to be with Seth!"
You left me to be with Seth, I think bitterly. And you didn't think twice about my embarrassment, by the way.
"Jake, you need to call Seth. You two need to work this out. I can't help you with that. Call him and tell him that you love him. "
"I tried, like, ten times this morning. He won't take my calls."
"Then get your ass into the car and get to him as fast as you can."
Jake jumps to his feet so suddenly, I flinch at the unexpected move. "You're right," he says. "I gotta go." He snatches his jacket off the couch and heads for the exit, as if I wasn't here any more. With his hand almost on the door knob, he turns around.
"Thank you," he says, and it sounds sincere.
"You're welcome. But I didn't do anything."
Jake smiles. "Well, you let me crash on your couch. And you kept your boyfriend from killing me."
I snort. "Yeah…"
"So you and Edward Cullen, huh?"
I simply cock my head, and it's enough to make him raise his hands defensively. "Hey, don't give me that look, Bells. I'm just surprised is all."
"Bye, Bells. You're the best. Bye."
And off he goes. When the door closes behind him, I slump on the couch and breathe a sigh of relief. Out of nowhere, Edward is by my side, pulling me against his chest with one arm around my shoulders. Outside, Jake revs the engine. Then we hear the rusty truck depart, backfiring a few times as if in protest.
"I hope, he'll marry that Seth friend, so he'll never have any more reasons to come back here," Little Green announces grumpily.
I hope so, too – on both counts, to be perfectly honest. But chances are, Jake fucks this up again. His lack of backbone is pathetic. How did I not see this earlier?
"You know," I muse aloud, "I'm starting to think that it was actually me being the stronger one in our marriage all the time. He just somehow made me believe the opposite."
Little Green squeezes my shoulder. "You are very strong, Bella. You always were."
We sit like that for a while, holding each other in amicable silence, simply enjoying each other's presence. When I'm done reacquainting myself to the warmth and safety of being in Edward's arms without interference from the outside world, I say, "Will you tell me about your meeting in Seattle?"
"In a while," he answers after a moment, kind of absently. I wonder if he's still having trouble taking his mind off that whole Jake incident.
"If I ask you some day to marry me, would you?"
What? Wow! Easy there…
I let go an awkward laugh and, feeling slightly alarmed, wiggle out of his embrace and straighten myself to look at him. "Uhm… I really don't think… I don't know. I mean, the ink on my divorce papers hasn't even properly dried yet."
"I mean, not now, just… some day?" he adds, absolutely serious. "I know you probably think you will never marry again, and I understand that. But… I'm not like him; you know that. Marriage would be different with me. I promise."
I open my mouth to say something smart and reasonable that won't encourage him any further, but the breath necessary to do so catches in my throat. My mind screams NO, but one billion butterflies in my stomach sing YES.
"Can I ask you some day?" he asks again, and the longing and sincerity in his eyes almost kills me.
"Some day," I whisper, giving up resistance. It's futile anyway.
Morning make up sex? Check.
Ex-husband asshole gone? Check.
Little Green being adorable in the end? Check.
Time to move on :)
Some of you asked how long the story will be.
I intend to make it no more than 50 chapters.
Love you all!